I think players like this guy are the main reason I reeeeeeeeeally have to get to know someone before I want to meet them. So many times a guy will express an interest and just when you think he might be sincere and you want to get to know him better, you see him online flirting with someone else, so you think...hmmmm....I don't think so..and just move on.
But isnt the best way to get to know someone is seeing them physically and witnessing them and how they handle a situation.
Another thing that worries me is all the posts Ive seen on this thread where people say they dont ask the other persons goals, christian walk UNTIL theyve developed feelings for them. Second thing Ive noticed is peoples interpretation of 'God' No one in this thread has answered my question re figuring out their online friends christian walk Im not trying to diminish God the father but the reason that we're all Christian and Not Jewish is because of JESUS. Heres a major trap I believe Christians fall under with communicating online. Just because someone believes in some God or another or is sympathetic to the notion of the Jewish and Christian concept of a bearded overseeing God dude on a throne doesnt mean their a walking in faith Christian! The bible says that even demons and Satan believe in God. So if you meet a guy/girl online and this person says I believe in God, question it! Ask things like,
Do you go to church every week? And have you been baptised and made a member of that church?
If they say no, dont expect or persue a romantic acquaintance with them, regular attendance at church means that theyve allowed themselves to be under submission to church leadership this includes men and women. If theyve answered yes that means theyve passed onto the next test question.
What theology does your church support?
So theyve proved their a christian? Cool, now this question answers whether theres a chance of you being unequally yoked in theology. For example, if you go to a pentecostal church and you meet this really sweet reasonably sincere christian guy online and find out that he is catholic. Im not picking on my catholic brothers and sisters, but in a relationship with those two major differences, you will be arguing a lot and will predictably have no agreement in what is supposed to be the number one priority in your life. Do a bit of research if you must. But ask basic things like: Do you believe that Jesus was born of a virgin and lived without sin? Do you believe in his ministry? Do you believe in his death and resurrection? Do you believe he died because of your sin? Do you believe in the Holy Spirit? Do you believe in the authority and accuracy of the bible? If they answer no, or avoid any of these basic questions or try to reword them without giving you a straight answer, then their faith is weak and VERY questionable and you shouldnt pursue them romantically.
Are you involved in any ministry/Are you called to a particular ministry/What has God made you passionate about.
Being involved in a ministry tells you that theyre actively pursuing christian fellowship outide of typical Sunday worship. Secondly every christian should have a calling no matter how simple. Some have a calling of being a mom and wife and raising children in the Lord, others have a calling to local and international missions. All three are just as equal in worth. Being involved in a ministry also tells you again that their under the guidance of some form of leader that they can look up to. Thirdly, (and this was the question that made me VERY interested in my now fiance), is asking a christian what God makes them passionate about tells you a huge amount about that person. When a person is genuine they will speak happily and with unbelievable passion and joy of whatever God has put in their heart. If a person replies "I dunno." It doesn't necessarily mean that theyve lied or their not a Christian, but could be that they are a new believer who hasn't got that far yet in their walk.
How long have you been a christian? What has your christian walk been like for the past 5 years?
Most people would ask this question at the beginning but I would leave this for last. Mainly because theres a lot of people out there who were raised Christians but are now what you'd call a backslider. Many in this instance will say theyve been a christian since they were five, they remember the bible reasonably enough so can give the impression of being all devout without letting it slip that theyve been unrepentantly sinning for some time (trust me I used to be one). This is why I get disappointed at Christians settling for some vaguely christian answer to this question without asking for more proof. A person saying theyve been a christian since birth doesnt prove anything. Asking them to talk of their walk with Jesus does.
What are you studying in your bible at the moment? Whats your prayer life like?
Who cares about their washboard abs, someone who reads their bible regularly and likes to discuss it and prays is capital H O T. Although if all they ever read is the book of revelation and suspiciously researched 'end days' related material, run far far away... If their obsessed with single words from only one bible translation and making sermons out of them, run far away. If they enjoy arguing over secondary issues like dinosaurs, worship styles, denominations for the sake of being right and not edification, again far far away.
Once you've got all this down pat and the person has passed all your questions THEN you can discuss what your favorite colour is.
Some will say, Melody this sounds mean and harsh and like a test! Well boohoo!! Its common sense people. And asking the hard questions first before you become emotionally attached/involved in a person you've not physically met is smart and saving you days, weeks and months worth of crying into your pillow every night.
