POLL: Should Men Just Accept That Their Future Wife Will Probably Make Cookies?
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M
My father once told me that after you have been married for a long time and the honey moon is long over with, all that matters is "CAN SHE COOK." He seemed to say a lot of silly things in his old age. 
I like the old guys and gals who kinda say things the way they see them 
"Not necessary, really..."
I made that post for a reason. Sometimes I make posts like that one just to make a point.
Often, it seems, on CC -- I am not afforded the same courtesy as everyone else - of having my own opinion. I get slammed for speaking any-bit-of-truth that I may happen to express...
( "Don't worry - I can handle it - I don't loose any sleep over it. Besides, it happens often enough that I am 'used to it'..." )
By making this statement, it is not my intention to whine; rather, I am only stating an observation...
It is really easy for people to "read into" posts things the author did not say - and certainly, did not intend to say.
In this particular case, the question being asked - that I answered - is very specific:
"baked goods" versus "slim wife" : What is your preference?
I did not say, by any stretch of imagination, that I would love my wife less if she baked cookies and, as a consequence, she were 15 pounds heavier. Yet - "I promise you" - there are some folks on CC - men and women - whose imaginations "no-doubt" immediately - upon reading my post - "conjured up" some really twisted assumptions about me, my attitude toward women, etc. - based on their own suppositions drawn from things I did not actually say [ in the slightest ] - that-are-nothing-even-remotely-close-to-the-truth.
The question was one of preference. Am I not allowed to have a preference?
Is there only one [ politically ] correct answer to the question [ that is allowed ]?
Also - 'preference' does not mean "absolute requirement" either. Yet - I'm pretty sure that that idea entered several people's minds when they read it.
Things about me that might be helpful to know:
~ I am not a legalist.
~ I am not 'politically correct'.
~ I am a 'deep thinker'.
~ I am very detail-oriented.
I can give very detailed specific answers to very detailed specific questions. And -- 99% of the time ( it seems ), others will "assume" things that I did not actually say...
So, I "try to do my best" to do what I can to minimize this effect...
A big part of the reason why I utilize various text attributes ( font, color, bold, italics, etc. ) the way I do is to try to more effectively communicate to others the "sense and tense" of what I am trying to say - with [ various forms of ] emphasis to express what is missing in this environment - the subtle "clues" of body language, etc. If you read enough of my posts, you should see a pattern develop...
I have tried to create a consistant 'style' that others may be able to recognize and more efficiently interpret. If you see big fonts in my posts -- it is very highly probable that it is simply-and-only for emphasis. I am not yelling. I am not angry. It is exceedingly rare that any anger is involved in my writing of posts. Why? Well --- first of all -- I do not easily take offense to [ what amounts to ] "someone elses opinion" -- no matter what kind of self-proclaimed [ whatever ] they might indicate that they are, or make themselves out to be - it is only "someone elses opinion" to me. Now - don't misunderstand what I am saying here. I am not saying that I do not value other's opinions. What I mean by this is that I "maintain a reasonable level of expectation" with regard to what other people post on CC. I am mature enough ( and detail-oriented enough ) to "look past" the [ anger, etc. ] in other people's posts - so as to be able to see what they are actually trying to say. Without reacting to the 'emotion' content, I can focus more on the 'data' content. In other words, I can usually separate the 'data' in a post from the 'attitude' / 'emotion' / etc. that is sometimes attached to the post - because of the emotionally-charged-state-of-mind of the person when they wrote it. I have actually seen people on CC get into "a very 'active' exchange of words" over some issue / topic - when, in actuality, they essentially agreed with each other... Why? Because, they were paying more attention and interest in the 'emotional' content - rather than the 'data' content - of other's post(s). ( The PRIDE that can be found on CC is enormous. Everyone is too busy "playing their tape" to have any real discussions about anything. ( Of course, this statement is mostly referring to "conversations held" in the Bible Discussion Forum... ) )
Also, I try to "think through" what I want to say before / while I am writing a post. Sometimes, this contributes to the long time it takes me to write some posts. I try very hard to "articulate correctly" what it is that I want to get across.
( And, I try to apply James 1:19 to my post-writing. )
~ I am not perfect.
~ I do not think that I "know it all" or "have it all figured out"; I know what I believe, and am not afraid to express it.
~ I fully respect the right of everyone else to have their own opinion about [ whatever ] -- and, I do not 'slam' anyone simply for having an opinion that is different than mine.
~ I am an honest, decent, respectable, well-intentioned, was-even-raised-to-have-good-manners kind of guy.
Many of you would be "totally astounded and amazed" at just how much 'respect' I actually have for women-in-general, womanhood, motherhood, pregnant women, ... ( a special 'regard' for women - to look after them and protect them - of whatever age - when in close proximity - whether I have ever-in-my-life met them before or not -- "just an 'automatic' tendency that is based on how I was 'raised'..." )
Based on how I was raised -- it is a shame and a dishonor to abuse a female of any age.
I have never purposely used, abused, hurt, injured, or hit a female ever-in-my-entire-life.
Again - I am not perfect; however, the intentions of my heart are sincere and honest.
~ Despite the fact that some refuse to believe it -- I do not "look down my nose" at anyone on here -- nor have I ever "talked down" to anyone on here.
"For the absolute most part, I like all of you just fine..."
And - "you can rest assured" that - if I happen to call you 'honey' or 'dear' or etc. -- there is [ at least ] some real, honest, sincere, affection behind it. I never use this kind of term-of-affection in a negative way ( with a negative attitude or intent attached to it ). It is my way of showing you that "I am one who cares"...
( And, of course - "because I care" - I will happily not do such as that if you are not comfortable with it - and / if - I am aware of that fact. Just keep in mind -- the effectual outcome of your personal opinion and associated comfort-level does not constitute a valid judgment to be placed on all women -- some of whom may actually enjoy the affection given - not believing that there is anything wrong with "honest innocent affection from a brother"... )
Guys - "you can rest assured" that - I will not call you 'honey' or 'dear' or etc...
Yes -- my personality, sense of humor, etc. - is "a little different" from "the average guy";however...
"I am not the Ogre that some folks seem to think that I am."
To borrow the saying that mailmandan currently has in his signature:
I'm not a bad guy. I'm just misunderstood.
I made that post for a reason. Sometimes I make posts like that one just to make a point.
Often, it seems, on CC -- I am not afforded the same courtesy as everyone else - of having my own opinion. I get slammed for speaking any-bit-of-truth that I may happen to express...
( "Don't worry - I can handle it - I don't loose any sleep over it. Besides, it happens often enough that I am 'used to it'..." )
By making this statement, it is not my intention to whine; rather, I am only stating an observation...
It is really easy for people to "read into" posts things the author did not say - and certainly, did not intend to say.
In this particular case, the question being asked - that I answered - is very specific:
"baked goods" versus "slim wife" : What is your preference?
I did not say, by any stretch of imagination, that I would love my wife less if she baked cookies and, as a consequence, she were 15 pounds heavier. Yet - "I promise you" - there are some folks on CC - men and women - whose imaginations "no-doubt" immediately - upon reading my post - "conjured up" some really twisted assumptions about me, my attitude toward women, etc. - based on their own suppositions drawn from things I did not actually say [ in the slightest ] - that-are-nothing-even-remotely-close-to-the-truth.
The question was one of preference. Am I not allowed to have a preference?
Is there only one [ politically ] correct answer to the question [ that is allowed ]?
Also - 'preference' does not mean "absolute requirement" either. Yet - I'm pretty sure that that idea entered several people's minds when they read it.
Things about me that might be helpful to know:
~ I am not a legalist.
~ I am not 'politically correct'.
~ I am a 'deep thinker'.
~ I am very detail-oriented.
I can give very detailed specific answers to very detailed specific questions. And -- 99% of the time ( it seems ), others will "assume" things that I did not actually say...
So, I "try to do my best" to do what I can to minimize this effect...
A big part of the reason why I utilize various text attributes ( font, color, bold, italics, etc. ) the way I do is to try to more effectively communicate to others the "sense and tense" of what I am trying to say - with [ various forms of ] emphasis to express what is missing in this environment - the subtle "clues" of body language, etc. If you read enough of my posts, you should see a pattern develop...
I have tried to create a consistant 'style' that others may be able to recognize and more efficiently interpret. If you see big fonts in my posts -- it is very highly probable that it is simply-and-only for emphasis. I am not yelling. I am not angry. It is exceedingly rare that any anger is involved in my writing of posts. Why? Well --- first of all -- I do not easily take offense to [ what amounts to ] "someone elses opinion" -- no matter what kind of self-proclaimed [ whatever ] they might indicate that they are, or make themselves out to be - it is only "someone elses opinion" to me. Now - don't misunderstand what I am saying here. I am not saying that I do not value other's opinions. What I mean by this is that I "maintain a reasonable level of expectation" with regard to what other people post on CC. I am mature enough ( and detail-oriented enough ) to "look past" the [ anger, etc. ] in other people's posts - so as to be able to see what they are actually trying to say. Without reacting to the 'emotion' content, I can focus more on the 'data' content. In other words, I can usually separate the 'data' in a post from the 'attitude' / 'emotion' / etc. that is sometimes attached to the post - because of the emotionally-charged-state-of-mind of the person when they wrote it. I have actually seen people on CC get into "a very 'active' exchange of words"
over some issue / topic - when, in actuality, they essentially agreed with each other... Why? Because, they were paying more attention and interest in the 'emotional' content - rather than the 'data' content - of other's post(s). ( The PRIDE that can be found on CC is enormous. Everyone is too busy "playing their tape" to have any real discussions about anything. ( Of course, this statement is mostly referring to "conversations held" in the Bible Discussion Forum... ) )Also, I try to "think through" what I want to say before / while I am writing a post. Sometimes, this contributes to the long time it takes me to write some posts. I try very hard to "articulate correctly" what it is that I want to get across.
( And, I try to apply James 1:19 to my post-writing. )
~ I am not perfect.
~ I do not think that I "know it all" or "have it all figured out"; I know what I believe, and am not afraid to express it.
~ I fully respect the right of everyone else to have their own opinion about [ whatever ] -- and, I do not 'slam' anyone simply for having an opinion that is different than mine.
~ I am an honest, decent, respectable, well-intentioned, was-even-raised-to-have-good-manners kind of guy.
Many of you would be "totally astounded and amazed" at just how much 'respect' I actually have for women-in-general, womanhood, motherhood, pregnant women, ... ( a special 'regard' for women - to look after them and protect them - of whatever age - when in close proximity - whether I have ever-in-my-life met them before or not -- "just an 'automatic' tendency that is based on how I was 'raised'..." )
Based on how I was raised -- it is a shame and a dishonor to abuse a female of any age.
I have never purposely used, abused, hurt, injured, or hit a female ever-in-my-entire-life.
Again - I am not perfect; however, the intentions of my heart are sincere and honest.
~ Despite the fact that some refuse to believe it -- I do not "look down my nose" at anyone on here -- nor have I ever "talked down" to anyone on here.
"For the absolute most part, I like all of you just fine..."
And - "you can rest assured" that - if I happen to call you 'honey' or 'dear' or etc. -- there is [ at least ] some real, honest, sincere, affection behind it. I never use this kind of term-of-affection in a negative way ( with a negative attitude or intent attached to it ). It is my way of showing you that "I am one who cares"...
( And, of course - "because I care" - I will happily not do such as that if you are not comfortable with it - and / if - I am aware of that fact. Just keep in mind -- the effectual outcome of your personal opinion and associated comfort-level does not constitute a valid judgment to be placed on all women -- some of whom may actually enjoy the affection given - not believing that there is anything wrong with "honest innocent affection from a brother"... )
Guys - "you can rest assured" that - I will not call you 'honey' or 'dear' or etc...
Yes -- my personality, sense of humor, etc. - is "a little different" from "the average guy";however...
"I am not the Ogre that some folks seem to think that I am."
To borrow the saying that mailmandan currently has in his signature:
I'm not a bad guy. I'm just misunderstood.
I would still choose cookies over a thin wife. For three reasons - I like cookies, the modern thin version of "pretty" is unhealthy... and I can recognize a joke when I see one.
GaryA your first post in this thread was replying to a comment that was made tongue-in-cheek. You have been wasting a lot of time being serious about something someone said that was not really serious.
GaryA your first post in this thread was replying to a comment that was made tongue-in-cheek. You have been wasting a lot of time being serious about something someone said that was not really serious.
G
No - I did not miss anything; rather, I found it to be a good opportunity...
I am actually somewhat "pleasantly surprised" at the lack of retaliatory reaction to my first post in this thread ( in the first 12 / 24 hours ). Maybe there is yet hope...
It has been "implied in passing" that I should "open up" more and let people get to know me better. However - when I do - I more-often-than-not ( I think ) get "smacked" with derogatory posts that criticize me for simply having an opinion / preference ( while praising others for having an opinion / preference that they find more 'agreeable' ) -- what kind of incentive is that??? ( What kind of hypocrisy is that??? )
The more serious part of this is not the answer to the question that was asked; rather, it is the illustration that I am trying to make.
What I am trying to accomplish here is to encourage some of you on here to "look a little deeper" than the "shallow, hollow, always-100-percent-serious, has-no-heart, "strictly-business" personality that you seem to think that I am.
Sure - I tend to be a serious person ( "life has made me this way" ( long story - I will not tell it here ) ) -- but, not all of the time! There are other 'sides' of me as well... Please try to get to know "those" without it being "[pre-]conditioned" by the "non-acceptance" of the opinions / preferences that come from the "serious side" of me.
Lynx ---- if - by my posting these things - it somehow helps to 'heal' any wounds or misunderstandings among us -- has it merely "wasted a lot of time"...??? ( Perhaps it is only a waste of your time...? )
Again -- this is the "attitude" that I often get from people on here -- that anything I have to say is "just a worthless waste of time, words, and posts"... ( At least - Lynx - you seem to think so. Don't worry - I am not holding any grudges - I try my best to "not be like that"... )
Did you see what I did above with the "I will not tell it here" comment? Did you find it humorous? Or, are your "critical sights" set on me so hard and fast that you missed it entirely? ( -- because you don't think I am capable of such? )
Anyone on here who truly wants to get to know me better needs to accept me just as they would like for me to accept them - knowing that none of us are perfect.
The thing is -- I accept all of you - without judgment - as the 'personalities' that you are. Some of you -- I sincerely disagree with you - with regard to some of your opinions - while liking you as a person. If you had to be 'perfect' for me to like you -- I would probably not like any of you! Of course, this is not the case -- you do not have to be perfect for me to like you. If I perceive that "your heart is in the right place" -- I "pretty much" like you already! ( as a "starting place", or "beginning" ) And, unless you give me a reason [ to dislike you ] -- "I'm not gonna!" ... ( There are a few on CC that have given me a reason [ to dislike them ] -- but - well - I still like 'em anyway... I'm not giving up on them, yet! )
I am actually somewhat "pleasantly surprised" at the lack of retaliatory reaction to my first post in this thread ( in the first 12 / 24 hours ).
Maybe there is yet hope... It has been "implied in passing" that I should "open up" more and let people get to know me better. However - when I do - I more-often-than-not ( I think ) get "smacked" with derogatory posts that criticize me for simply having an opinion / preference ( while praising others for having an opinion / preference that they find more 'agreeable' ) -- what kind of incentive is that???
( What kind of hypocrisy is that??? )The more serious part of this is not the answer to the question that was asked; rather, it is the illustration that I am trying to make.
What I am trying to accomplish here is to encourage some of you on here to "look a little deeper" than the "shallow, hollow, always-100-percent-serious, has-no-heart, "strictly-business" personality that you seem to think that I am.
Sure - I tend to be a serious person ( "life has made me this way" ( long story - I will not tell it here
) ) -- but, not all of the time! There are other 'sides' of me as well... Please try to get to know "those" without it being "[pre-]conditioned" by the "non-acceptance" of the opinions / preferences that come from the "serious side" of me.Lynx ---- if - by my posting these things - it somehow helps to 'heal' any wounds or misunderstandings among us -- has it merely "wasted a lot of time"...??? ( Perhaps it is only a waste of your time...? )
Again -- this is the "attitude" that I often get from people on here -- that anything I have to say is "just a worthless waste of time, words, and posts"... ( At least - Lynx - you seem to think so.
Don't worry - I am not holding any grudges - I try my best to "not be like that"... )Did you see what I did above with the "I will not tell it here" comment? Did you find it humorous? Or, are your "critical sights" set on me so hard and fast that you missed it entirely? ( -- because you don't think I am capable of such? )
Anyone on here who truly wants to get to know me better needs to accept me just as they would like for me to accept them - knowing that none of us are perfect.
The thing is -- I accept all of you - without judgment - as the 'personalities' that you are. Some of you -- I sincerely disagree with you - with regard to some of your opinions - while liking you as a person. If you had to be 'perfect' for me to like you -- I would probably not like any of you!
Of course, this is not the case -- you do not have to be perfect for me to like you. If I perceive that "your heart is in the right place" -- I "pretty much" like you already! ( as a "starting place", or "beginning" ) And, unless you give me a reason [ to dislike you ] -- "I'm not gonna!" ... ( There are a few on CC that have given me a reason [ to dislike them ] -- but - well - I still like 'em anyway... I'm not giving up on them, yet! )
J
I baked my own for a long time. I was married to one who didn't cook much, so me and my daughter baked Reeces pieces cookies, and M&M cookies a lot. Oh yeah the ex did learn how to fix Mom's brownie recipe later on, and some no-bake cookies from a recipe given to her at work. Unfortunately they weren't that good.