Praying with your significant other

[Loveneverfails]

I've often heard Christians suggest praying with one's significant other. While I see where they're coming from, this is something I've actually been struggling with for a few years now. I have never prayed one-on-one with a man outside of my family. I never really specifically set out to avoid it, but over time I began to see private, one-on-one prayers as a very spiritually intimate experience, one that I am glad to share with my family members or female friends. To be clear, I do pray with guys in the context of small groups of three or more people. After being convinced that one-on-one prayers are something so intimate, I decided I'd prefer that my husband, or perhaps my fiance, be the first unrelated man that I pray alone with. The few people who have found out about this preference tend to find it extremely strange.

What do you think? Is praying alone with someone of the opposite sex no big deal? Is it strange that I want to save what I believe to be a spiritually intimate experience for my husband (or maybe fiance)?

I'd love to hear your thoughts. Thank you in advance.

 

[kenisyes]

I would pray with any friend. If you get more intimate, the prayers will change in quality, and God will be there from the beginning.

 

[MartyrNdaMaKn]

I would not ever waste an opportunity to pray with someone one on one, because you never know if God has it in his will for you to make connect with that other person.

 

[Jullianna]

I've often heard Christians suggest praying with one's significant other. While I see where they're coming from, this is something I've actually been struggling with for a few years now. I have never prayed one-on-one with a man outside of my family. I never really specifically set out to avoid it, but over time I began to see private, one-on-one prayers as a very spiritually intimate experience, one that I am glad to share with my family members or female friends. To be clear, I do pray with guys in the context of small groups of three or more people. After being convinced that one-on-one prayers are something so intimate, I decided I'd prefer that my husband, or perhaps my fiance, be the first unrelated man that I pray alone with. The few people who have found out about this preference tend to find it extremely strange.

What do you think? Is praying alone with someone of the opposite sex no big deal? Is it strange that I want to save what I believe to be a spiritually intimate experience for my husband (or maybe fiance)?

I'd love to hear your thoughts. Thank you in advance.

I love to pray with/for people, but I'm a little weird about praying alone with guys too, for a couple of reasons. First, you are right, it is a very Spirit-led intimate thing...it's hearts/spirits joining together and making a connection with God. I've had that lead to misinterpretation a time or two. Also, when men stand together and pray together, powerful things happen. Not that the prayers of a righteous woman don't avail just as much...it's just...different. It's awesome.

I get where you're coming from. Your prayer life is between you and God. Follow where He leads you in this regard, lovely lady

 

[Loveneverfails]

I would pray with any friend.

I would not ever waste an opportunity to pray with someone one on one, because you never know if God has it in his will for you to make connect with that other person.

Thank you, Ken and Martyr. That's one of the comments I hear from some of my friends, too. As I said earlier, I get where they're coming from, and I do love to pray with anyone I feel led to pray with.. just not necessarily while completely alone. I'll continue to ask God about it though

I love to pray with/for people, but I'm a little weird about praying alone with guys too, for a couple of reasons. First, you are right, it is a very Spirit-led intimate thing...it's hearts/spirits joining together and making a connection with God. I've had that lead to misinterpretation a time or two. Also, when men stand together and pray together, powerful things happen. Not that the prayers of a righteous woman don't avail just as much...it's just...different. It's awesome.

I get where you're coming from. Your prayer life is between you and God. Follow where He leads you in this regard, lovely lady

I'm glad someone can relate somewhat. Perhaps it's part of my conservative nature regarding men. I gauge all forms of intimacy, whether it be emotional, physical, or spiritual, in the sense that I am most intimate with family, followed by female friends, followed by male friends. I see one on one prayer, completely alone with the other person, coming before God hand-in-hand (figuratively), as pretty spiritually intimate, which is why part of me wants to avoid sharing that with just any Christian male friend of mine. I suppose I was wondering if I was the only one who thought this way.

Thanks for sharing your perspective, Jullianna, and yes, I'll definitely follow His lead on this one.

 

[phil36]

we would all pray with another/s but regarding praying with a partner then I think it would be essential. We can still have our own prayer time with God. If you are married then the two become one, the husband should lead the wife into praying together.

We can pray with another of the opposite sex, I would suggest if its a family member or if someone seeking help, but suggest to them to come to a prayer group. Praying for is a privilege and so is praying with someone, but there's also an accountability issue Are you both single, well that's fine.if your comfortable with it, but I would say a no no if the opposite sex is with someone or married.

anyhow, to the married couple 'the couple that prays together stays together'.

 

[djness]

Are you praying in public or alone together? You asked about significant other. Praying with them is a good thing, but being alone with them is never good before you are married. To much temptation.

 

[Shouryu]

All one-on-one prayer?

Like when we're having lunch together, and we say grace together over the food?

*smirk*


One of the things I look forward to (perhaps hopelessly) is the thought of shared spiritual time. You know, the time when you spend 20-30 minutes in the Word, then a bit of time in prayer. The idea of sitting on the couch with my companion, both of us reading...not even reading in the same place, necessarily, mind you...and then slipping into some time talking with God, be it silent or out loud. I don't know why the scenario resonates with me. I had lots of moments like that with my dad when I was 5-7, because I would get up early and read my bible while he was doing the same. I think it's a lot of the "As for me and my house" statement you make when that happens together.

So, I am for it. But the question then becomes...at what point in the relationship do you start sharing those moments? Obviously, when you are husband and wife, of course...but what about steadily dating? Engagement? For me, that's where the real question would lie.

 

[zeroturbulence]

I've often heard Christians suggest praying with one's significant other. While I see where they're coming from, this is something I've actually been struggling with for a few years now. I have never prayed one-on-one with a man outside of my family. I never really specifically set out to avoid it, but over time I began to see private, one-on-one prayers as a very spiritually intimate experience, one that I am glad to share with my family members or female friends. To be clear, I do pray with guys in the context of small groups of three or more people. After being convinced that one-on-one prayers are something so intimate, I decided I'd prefer that my husband, or perhaps my fiance, be the first unrelated man that I pray alone with. The few people who have found out about this preference tend to find it extremely strange.

What do you think? Is praying alone with someone of the opposite sex no big deal? Is it strange that I want to save what I believe to be a spiritually intimate experience for my husband (or maybe fiance)?

I'd love to hear your thoughts. Thank you in advance.

I think I know what you're saying. When I pray its like a private counseling session with God and my whole soul is laid bare to Him so that even the most wretched part of me is not left out. I could never do that with anyone else in the room, it doesn't matter who it is.

(Matthew 6:6 NIV):
But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.

 

[Loveneverfails]

Are you praying in public or alone together? You asked about significant other. Praying with them is a good thing, but being alone with them is never good before you are married. To much temptation.

I was referring to praying alone with that person, in private, engaging in deep spiritual fellowship.

All one-on-one prayer?

Like when we're having lunch together, and we say grace together over the food?

*smirk*


One of the things I look forward to (perhaps hopelessly) is the thought of shared spiritual time. You know, the time when you spend 20-30 minutes in the Word, then a bit of time in prayer. The idea of sitting on the couch with my companion, both of us reading...not even reading in the same place, necessarily, mind you...and then slipping into some time talking with God, be it silent or out loud. I don't know why the scenario resonates with me. I had lots of moments like that with my dad when I was 5-7, because I would get up early and read my bible while he was doing the same. I think it's a lot of the "As for me and my house" statement you make when that happens together.

So, I am for it. But the question then becomes...at what point in the relationship do you start sharing those moments? Obviously, when you are husband and wife, of course...but what about steadily dating? Engagement? For me, that's where the real question would lie.

Thank you for so clearly articulating exactly what I was trying to say! I am SO excited for deep, personal, and intimate spiritual fellowship with my future husband, whether it be prayer, studying God's Word, worshiping through music, or anything of that nature. Your question was completely spot on. I was more concerned with *when* it was appropriate to begin this type of fellowship. As I said, I've gotten an awful lot of strange looks Jen people find out I want to save these precious experiences for my husband. I suppose I'll just have to keep seeking God's will on this one.

I think I know what you're saying. When I pray its like a private counseling session with God and my whole soul is laid bare to Him so that even the most wretched part of me is not left out. I could never do that with anyone else in the room, it doesn't matter who it is.

(Matthew 6:6 NIV):
But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.

Thanks zero I know what you mean about that type of private prayer, and I thoroughly enjoy those times spent with God! I'm not shying away from praying with other people, just from praying alone with men who are not in my family.

 

[woka]

I really think that this is one of the most beatutiful things, I have ever heard. It is great to pray with a group of friends, or even a one on one, I have never been lead by the Lord to pray with a man one on one when him and I are alone.

The Lord for me often would not put a women in a position to pray alone with a man who wasn't her husband, but it would rather be a group of people.

This doesn't mean that you are not praying or loosing out on praying for someone, it just means that the setting needs to be right, and most importantly you need to be comfortable. If this means no one on one with a man, that sounds fine.

 

[djness]

I was referring to praying alone with that person, in private, engaging in deep spiritual fellowship.

A friend of my moms met her husband their freshman year of college, they dated for fours years and then got married after school. They decided from the begining that they would NEVER been alone together under any circumstance to avoid all temptation. They always were in public with people around and it paid off for them.

Personally I know the nature of man, even GODLY man. Every man no matter how close to God he thinks he is can be tempted same with woman.

Save the ''private, engaging in deep spiritual fellowship'' for after marriage.

 

[Stephen63]

What do you think? Is praying alone with someone of the opposite sex no big deal? Is it strange that I want to save what I believe to be a spiritually intimate experience for my husband (or maybe fiance)?

I'd love to hear your thoughts. Thank you in advance.

I'm totally against one-on-one prayer with the opposite sex, especially younger adults & teens, private or public.

If I was a young single guy, the LAST thing I need is a pretty little thing with big eyes & strong perfume getting close to me. That would definitely would be a distraction, lol. I might get the impression that since she's praying for me with her soft voice & tenderheartedness that she's into me. Hormones have a way of lying to you without saying a word.

From what I've seen in church & camp over the years, it's usually the girls wanting to pray for the bad boys & the guys wanting to pray for the good-looking girls. 'Nuff said. It's disorderly.

 

[rachelsedge]

Loveneverfails, I totally understand and struggle with the same thing, too! I'm reserved when it comes to males, and praying together seems so intimate. I'm definitely for it in a marriage when you are one and there's nothing really holding you back.

I don't really know what I think. I would probably lean towards where you need to be in a rather serious spot in your relationship, perhaps even as serious as to where you're rather certain that you'll eventually get married. I'd want to make sure that he is spiritually sound and I am spiritually sound in our relationship, invidually, before we came together in that. Even then, I would probably hold back and not bare it all.And if it ever created temptation or made temptation worse, then it'd probably be smart to back off.

So, I am for it. But the question then becomes...at what point in the relationship do you start sharing those moments? Obviously, when you are husband and wife, of course...but what about steadily dating? Engagement? For me, that's where the real question would lie.

Any personal opinion on that, Shour?

 

[Shouryu]

Any personal opinion on that, Shour?

Having never been in a relationship with a true sister-in-Christ, I have no personal reference to base that on, hence why it is still a question.

(Technically, my first love was a sister, but we were long distance: she in DC and I in New Mexico. Kind of hard to play out the scenario in that situation.)

 

[Bridget_Left_China]

Maybe I am just weird, but why should praying with your significant other have to be saved for marriage? I don't think I would want to marry someone I didn't spend significant time with in prayer and study.

Should it be in a candle-lit room with Barry White playing? Of course not. Two people can pray together alone and not hop into the proverbial hay immediately after. I have spent time praying and studying with my boyfriend. It brings our relationship where it should be - before the Throne of God. We prayed together and studied the Word together starting in the first month of getting to know one another. (Granted, it was on Skype for the first few months) His attitude of being prayerful and seeking God is what drew me to him in the first place.

Maybe I don't understand how other people pray. I haven't once, after seeking God's Face in prayer with my man, wanted to "get it on" as it were. What are you guys praying about?

 

[Ugly]

I've often heard Christians suggest praying with one's significant other. While I see where they're coming from, this is something I've actually been struggling with for a few years now. I have never prayed one-on-one with a man outside of my family. I never really specifically set out to avoid it, but over time I began to see private, one-on-one prayers as a very spiritually intimate experience, one that I am glad to share with my family members or female friends. To be clear, I do pray with guys in the context of small groups of three or more people. After being convinced that one-on-one prayers are something so intimate, I decided I'd prefer that my husband, or perhaps my fiance, be the first unrelated man that I pray alone with. The few people who have found out about this preference tend to find it extremely strange.

What do you think? Is praying alone with someone of the opposite sex no big deal? Is it strange that I want to save what I believe to be a spiritually intimate experience for my husband (or maybe fiance)?

I'd love to hear your thoughts. Thank you in advance.

It can vary by situation. But i've known men that won't pray in a private setting with a woman because they've experienced a sense of intimacy that forms over time and begins leading them towards sexual desires. Apparently it has happened. So, to be safest, to be regularly alone with a person of the opposite sex to have prayer times could be good... but there is a risk involved, so you have to be aware.

 

[SparkleEyes]

I think praying with your SO (married or not married) is vitally important. Doing so strengthens your relationship and if you ar smart, you should want a strong relationship with your SO.