A brother posted this in another thread; but as I began to respond, I realized that it really deserves it's own topic:
I've tried this strategy in the past, and it was a horrible experience. It really made me understand the saying, "Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all." I don't think we are meant to reject or ignore our humanity even when it causes us to struggle, because our growth comes from persevering through the pain and learning to trust God in our lacking. Personally, I came to understand His words, "My grace is sufficient for you," more profoundly in my acceptance of living without fulfillment than I ever could by living in numbness to those desires.
I would encourage someone in this situation to face the emotions head-on and trust God to bring you to a place of peace rather than attempting to distract your humanity. Although I am not fully at this point, I perceive that I am a better person spiritually after having accepted total loss. Would you be comfortable with your answer if you were to ask ask yourself, "Would I love God the same if He never blesses me with a wife/husband?" Being honest with yourself and Him is important, and this is ultimately one of the goals He has regardless of our marital status.
Growing spiritually is fundamental even if He were to bless you - because a relationship is spiritually demanding. Don't deprive yourself of this opportunity by locking away very real needs and emotions. God has given us these desires, and frequently refuses to take them away, because they are essential to building our faith in Him. Can you trust that God is good and that He has your best interests at heart, even when He actively prevents you from experiencing (what you assume to be) immense happiness? Is God enough on His own? If not, perhaps this is what we must repent of - and not so that God will bless us, because He may not even if we trust Him.
Remember Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego? When faced with certain death, they did not say to the king "We will not serve you because our God will save us." They said, "Our God is able to save us, but even if He does not, we will not serve you."
Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego answered and said to the king, “O Nebuchadnezzar, we have no need to answer you in this matter. If this be so, our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the burning fiery furnace, and he will deliver us out of your hand, O king. But if not, be it known to you, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the golden image that you have set up.” (Dan. 3:16-18)
Let's maintain this attitude when facing what may seem like unbearable loss or loneliness. Be able to trust God even if He never fulfills your desires. Like Esther said, "If I perish, I perish." Depend on His omnipotence and providence instead of diminishing the magnitude of the struggle.
[HR][/HR]
With this, I am not saying that the post quoted is completely off-base. In fact, there is a place for focusing on God rather than the flesh - this is essential. My point is that we should not depend on our ability to ignore very real (and God-made) emotions in order to draw closer to God. It simply is not possible any more than we can ignore hunger or pain without serious consequences. We become more mature in the faith by taking ownership of these needs and trusting God than by evasion.
These are my thoughts, anyway. Perhaps the Lord is leading others to peace through different means of understanding. I also hope that this thread is not redundant - as I am a newbie.
I've tried this strategy in the past, and it was a horrible experience. It really made me understand the saying, "Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all." I don't think we are meant to reject or ignore our humanity even when it causes us to struggle, because our growth comes from persevering through the pain and learning to trust God in our lacking. Personally, I came to understand His words, "My grace is sufficient for you," more profoundly in my acceptance of living without fulfillment than I ever could by living in numbness to those desires.
I would encourage someone in this situation to face the emotions head-on and trust God to bring you to a place of peace rather than attempting to distract your humanity. Although I am not fully at this point, I perceive that I am a better person spiritually after having accepted total loss. Would you be comfortable with your answer if you were to ask ask yourself, "Would I love God the same if He never blesses me with a wife/husband?" Being honest with yourself and Him is important, and this is ultimately one of the goals He has regardless of our marital status.
Growing spiritually is fundamental even if He were to bless you - because a relationship is spiritually demanding. Don't deprive yourself of this opportunity by locking away very real needs and emotions. God has given us these desires, and frequently refuses to take them away, because they are essential to building our faith in Him. Can you trust that God is good and that He has your best interests at heart, even when He actively prevents you from experiencing (what you assume to be) immense happiness? Is God enough on His own? If not, perhaps this is what we must repent of - and not so that God will bless us, because He may not even if we trust Him.
Remember Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego? When faced with certain death, they did not say to the king "We will not serve you because our God will save us." They said, "Our God is able to save us, but even if He does not, we will not serve you."
Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego answered and said to the king, “O Nebuchadnezzar, we have no need to answer you in this matter. If this be so, our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the burning fiery furnace, and he will deliver us out of your hand, O king. But if not, be it known to you, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the golden image that you have set up.” (Dan. 3:16-18)
Let's maintain this attitude when facing what may seem like unbearable loss or loneliness. Be able to trust God even if He never fulfills your desires. Like Esther said, "If I perish, I perish." Depend on His omnipotence and providence instead of diminishing the magnitude of the struggle.
[HR][/HR]
With this, I am not saying that the post quoted is completely off-base. In fact, there is a place for focusing on God rather than the flesh - this is essential. My point is that we should not depend on our ability to ignore very real (and God-made) emotions in order to draw closer to God. It simply is not possible any more than we can ignore hunger or pain without serious consequences. We become more mature in the faith by taking ownership of these needs and trusting God than by evasion.
These are my thoughts, anyway. Perhaps the Lord is leading others to peace through different means of understanding. I also hope that this thread is not redundant - as I am a newbie.
