Serious.. Being Too Serious..

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
S

SocialArtist

Guest
#1
#1
Admittedly, I came across a few minutes of a reality show on the Style Network last night. It was about Adriana, who used to date Rob Kardashian. Her grandmother set her up on a date with "a nice Christian young man".

Following the date, her and her grandmother met back up. Adriana called him "Dougie Downer". Doug had gone as far to get way too serious about life and his morals on the date. Doug even admitted he is against pre-marital sex.

While having views and boundaries is fine.. you don't really need to go around telling your date.. every single value you have on date #1. She ultimately told her grandmother she would not be giving him date #2.

This reminds of my ex-good friend, who after 16 months of marriage was left by his wife. While he was mature and too serious about life.. she lived an idealized life (life is supposed to be this fictional way) and lacked real life maturity. The problem stemmed from his seriousness.. the dude could never chill. If you went for a walk or hung out with him.. every little detail was dissected for absolute debate. The guy condemned, lifelong believers like myself as not living up to a higher standard. I was like dude, be thankful I am saved and not some club bouncing worlding. He would always offer me advice but never accept my own. Ultimately, the rift between him and his wife was never going to be effectively communicated to repair.

In the end, I say.. be serious about your morals, beliefts.. but enjoy dates, relationships and marriage. Don't be tense and take things more seriously then they ought to be. Don't feel the need to impose your beliefs and if people do not readily accept them.. don't shun them for it. Seriously :D
 
D

djness

Guest
#2
#2
I had a group of youth group friends and one guy turned into that. He was a total rocker as a teen, guitarist in a christian rock group. After his first year of christian college he came back and was all serious and very condemning of other christians. None of his former friends really wanted to be a part of that.

Also when you are on CC in the chat rooms and someone comes in with ''oh my mistake i thought this was a christian chat site''. It is. You just happened tot he enter the lounge and we are talking about bacon covered politicians winning a foot race with wolves.

I do wonder sometimes though about God and Jesus, if God actually does have a sense of humor at all and isn't serious all the time. I know people will point at this or that and say oh because of this God must have a sense of humor. There really isn't a single joke in the bible though. It would be nice if there was just one verse in the bible where they were all standing a hot crowded room and someone farted. ''Verily gas hath been passed and we escapeth mightly from this confiement lest any man be left to die in the stench', I say to thee.''

I know..fart joke..
 
S

SocialArtist

Guest
#3
#3
djness said:
I had a group of youth group friends and one guy turned into that. He was a total rocker as a teen, guitarist in a christian rock group. After his first year of christian college he came back and was all serious and very condemning of other christians. None of his former friends really wanted to be a part of that.

Also when you are on CC in the chat rooms and someone comes in with ''oh my mistake i thought this was a christian chat site''. It is. You just happened tot he enter the lounge and we are talking about bacon covered politicians winning a foot race with wolves.

I do wonder sometimes though about God and Jesus, if God actually does have a sense of humor at all and isn't serious all the time. I know people will point at this or that and say oh because of this God must have a sense of humor. There really isn't a single joke in the bible though. It would be nice if there was just one verse in the bible where they were all standing a hot crowded room and someone farted. ''Verily gas hath been passed and we escapeth mightly from this confiement lest any man be left to die in the stench', I say to thee.''

I know..fart joke..
Click to expand...
God is the creator of all things. If God or Jesus didn't have a sense of humor.. we wouldn't. ;)
 
LightningClap0002

LightningClap0002

Senior Member
#4
Feb 10, 2008
3,371
16
38
#4
I'm not sure that I agree with the stance that "you should not share all of your moral values on the first date." Morals/beliefs are pretty much right at the top of my list of criteria for a woman. The sooner I know, the better. Now obviously there is such a thing as rudeness, but if both parties are sharing then there really is no problem. If there is a problem, then it sounds doomed to fail eventually anyways.

I can't say that I'm surprised by the outcome. But two strong christians meeting and discussing their beliefs and God... that sounds like a recipe for a wonderful christ centered marriage to me. Sure, if you want to try and sneak in a few dates with someone who's worldview is nothing near yours, go ahead. Casual dating is a hobby for many, but sounds to me like this guy was just what they pitched him as.

As for me... there's no possible way that I could share all of my values, morals, beliefs, desires etc on a single date, let alone 20. Clearly if sharing his beliefs, seemingly especially about premarital sex, made it clear to her that she was not right for him. Isn't that the whole point of dating? Or are you saying that he was condemning her? And even still, what good is dating someone who isn't a christian?

Suffice it to say I think you are wrong. Yes, the world will be shocked and stunned by us. That's kind of the point.

/end rant
 
J

Jullianna

Guest
#5
#5
MARK 3:
13 Jesus went up on a mountainside and called to him those he wanted, and they came to him. 14 He appointed twelve[a] that they might be with him and that he might send them out to preach 15 and to have authority to drive out demons. 16 These are the twelve he appointed: Simon (to whom he gave the name Peter), 17 James son of Zebedee and his brother John (to them he gave the name Boanerges, which means “sons of thunder”), 18 Andrew, Philip, Bartholomew, Matthew, Thomas, James son of Alphaeus, Thaddaeus, Simon the Zealot 19 and Judas Iscariot, who betrayed him.

^I always thought the sons of thunder thing was pretty funny :D ^ But maybe that's just me...

I don't find it necessary to talk about my faith ALL the time with someone I'm with because I wouldn't be dating them in the first place if they weren't a christian.

I agree about the folks who expect us to talk about christianity ALL.THE.TIME. *sigh*

Examples of God's sense of humor: Carrot Top, platypus, porcupines, orangutans
 
Last edited by a moderator:
K

kayem77

Guest
#6
#6
I always thought Jesus was funny. There are a couple of things that I find funny, like this verse :).
Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God." Matthew 19:24

I agree with Lightining, I don't see the point of dating someone who isn't Christian for starters.
 
LightningClap0002

LightningClap0002

Senior Member
#7
Feb 10, 2008
3,371
16
38
#7
Jullianna said:
I don't find it necessary to talk about my faith ALL the time with someone I'm with because I wouldn't be dating them in the first place if they weren't a christian.
Click to expand...
Right there! That's the point! You already knew the serious stuff. Maybe not the itty bitty details of their beliefs, but you already knew a good amount not only about their beliefs, but seemingly about their actions.

Is this "Adriana" a christian? Does she even know what christians believe? Does Doug know her enough to know if she understands christian beliefs? So, if you wouldn't even be going on a date with someone that you didn't know their beliefs, why would it be beneficial for Doug to wait to bring them up if they are not known? Maybe he can get some emotions involved and then spring it on her?

EDIT: Surely there are more and less tactful ways of bringing these things up. But that's a point of social tact, not of seriousness. :/
 
Last edited:
zeroturbulence

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
#8
Aug 2, 2009
24,581
4,269
113
#8
djness said:
I had a group of youth group friends and one guy turned into that. He was a total rocker as a teen, guitarist in a christian rock group. After his first year of christian college he came back and was all serious and very condemning of other christians. None of his former friends really wanted to be a part of that.

Also when you are on CC in the chat rooms and someone comes in with ''oh my mistake i thought this was a christian chat site''. It is. You just happened tot he enter the lounge and we are talking about bacon covered politicians winning a foot race with wolves.

I do wonder sometimes though about God and Jesus, if God actually does have a sense of humor at all and isn't serious all the time. I know people will point at this or that and say oh because of this God must have a sense of humor. There really isn't a single joke in the bible though. It would be nice if there was just one verse in the bible where they were all standing a hot crowded room and someone farted. ''Verily gas hath been passed and we escapeth mightly from this confiement lest any man be left to die in the stench', I say to thee.''

I know..fart joke..
Click to expand...
Farts themselves are proof that God does have a sense of humor ;)
 
Spartacus1122

Spartacus1122

Banned [Reason: insulting CC admin in previous pos
#9
Jun 9, 2012
276
1
0
#9
You only get one shot at life.

Faith and religion are meant to GUIDE you, NOT CONTROL you.
A life sheltered in ancient scriptures with context dating back millennia is a life not being lived to the fullest.

Enjoy life, its beauties, joys, and pleasures, they are all gifts from God.
 
L

Liz01

Guest
#10
#10
I think we need to be serious about our beliefs but not in a sense of seriousness but in a sense of steadiness and we christians end talking about God in some moment with other ppl because God is the first thing of our life. And the decision to say what we believe when we just met someone or not depends of the course of the conversation. But its natural that when we start knowing someone more deeply, we say what we think, what our dreams are or what we expect of some situation.

I think that seriousness is more about personality and of course if there is a serious person then im sure there will be their suitable helper :D

I have met ppl though that always want to talk about bible and not other things or to impose religion, but i think that depends of the growth. Someone that has a big growth in their faith in God will be more tolerant with others than a new-christian. I do not say that we should agree with the bad things or change our faith either, we need to be firm in our beliefs.

And talking about sense of humor i think that God wants that we enjoy our lives and be happy trusting in Him :

Psalm 5:11 "But let all those rejoice who put their trust in You; let them ever shout for joy, because You defend them; Let those also who love Your name Be joyful in You."
 
Last edited by a moderator:
PopClick

PopClick

Senior Member
#11
Aug 12, 2011
4,056
136
63
#11
Re: God having a sense of humor... I always snickered when He told Job, "Where were you when I laid the foundation of the earth? Tell Me, if you have understanding, who set its measurements? Since you know."


:D:D:D
 
S

SocialArtist

Guest
#12
#12
LightningClap0002 said:
I'm not sure that I agree with the stance that "you should not share all of your moral values on the first date." Morals/beliefs are pretty much right at the top of my list of criteria for a woman. The sooner I know, the better. Now obviously there is such a thing as rudeness, but if both parties are sharing then there really is no problem. If there is a problem, then it sounds doomed to fail eventually anyways.

I can't say that I'm surprised by the outcome. But two strong christians meeting and discussing their beliefs and God... that sounds like a recipe for a wonderful christ centered marriage to me. Sure, if you want to try and sneak in a few dates with someone who's worldview is nothing near yours, go ahead. Casual dating is a hobby for many, but sounds to me like this guy was just what they pitched him as.

As for me... there's no possible way that I could share all of my values, morals, beliefs, desires etc on a single date, let alone 20. Clearly if sharing his beliefs, seemingly especially about premarital sex, made it clear to her that she was not right for him. Isn't that the whole point of dating? Or are you saying that he was condemning her? And even still, what good is dating someone who isn't a christian?

Suffice it to say I think you are wrong. Yes, the world will be shocked and stunned by us. That's kind of the point.

/end rant
Click to expand...
"ALL of your moral values".. but ultimately I feel you don't understand where I am coming from. I just feel your reply runs laps with observations..
 
S

SocialArtist

Guest
#13
#13
kayem77 said:
I agree with Lightining, I don't see the point of dating someone who isn't Christian for starters.
Click to expand...
I hate to get bent out of shape in my replys.. but who said this thread was about unequally yoked people dating?
 
S

SocialArtist

Guest
#14
#14
LightningClap0002 said:
Right there! That's the point! You already knew the serious stuff. Maybe not the itty bitty details of their beliefs, but you already knew a good amount not only about their beliefs, but seemingly about their actions.

Is this "Adriana" a christian? Does she even know what christians believe? Does Doug know her enough to know if she understands christian beliefs? So, if you wouldn't even be going on a date with someone that you didn't know their beliefs, why would it be beneficial for Doug to wait to bring them up if they are not known? Maybe he can get some emotions involved and then spring it on her?

EDIT: Surely there are more and less tactful ways of bringing these things up. But that's a point of social tact, not of seriousness. :/
Click to expand...
You reply to the fullest on things you don't have full answers on. Adriana was looking to date a Christian. Her grandmother set her up with a Christian guy. She does know what Christians believe. Doug and her were set up on a blind date.

Ultimately, dude.. I find you highly arrogant.. and I feel this anger stem up inside of me that if we were in the same room together.. I'd probably confront you face to face. You don't like my opinions, fine.. but don't being running wild.. talking as you are by taking one thing I said and esculating it into something much higher. Bottom line is knock that off.
 
LightningClap0002

LightningClap0002

Senior Member
#15
Feb 10, 2008
3,371
16
38
#15
SocialArtist said:
You reply to the fullest on things you don't have full answers on. Adriana was looking to date a Christian. Her grandmother set her up with a Christian guy. She does know what Christians believe. Doug and her were set up on a blind date.

Ultimately, dude.. I find you highly arrogant.. and I feel this anger stem up inside of me that if we were in the same room together.. I'd probably confront you face to face. You don't like my opinions, fine.. but don't being running wild.. talking as you are by taking one thing I said and esculating it into something much higher. Bottom line is knock that off.
Click to expand...
Ok. You presented very little information, I didn't claim to know more (see questions above).

My opinion still stands. I desire to know as much about someone as I can. The things of most importance to ME are their morals and values. I have found that the people I most enjoy talking to are the people who wish to discuss their(and my) beliefs.

Just because one person (on a "reality" show no less) was put off by that doesn't mean everyone is. I want seriousness in a relationship. If this is arrogant, then I guess I am doomed.
 
N

NodMyHeadLikeYeah

Guest
#16
#16
SocialArtist said:
Admittedly, I came across a few minutes of a reality show on the Style Network last night. It was about Adriana, who used to date Rob Kardashian. Her grandmother set her up on a date with "a nice Christian young man".

Following the date, her and her grandmother met back up. Adriana called him "Dougie Downer". Doug had gone as far to get way too serious about life and his morals on the date. Doug even admitted he is against pre-marital sex.

While having views and boundaries is fine.. you don't really need to go around telling your date.. every single value you have on date #1. She ultimately told her grandmother she would not be giving him date #2.

This reminds of my ex-good friend, who after 16 months of marriage was left by his wife. While he was mature and too serious about life.. she lived an idealized life (life is supposed to be this fictional way) and lacked real life maturity. The problem stemmed from his seriousness.. the dude could never chill. If you went for a walk or hung out with him.. every little detail was dissected for absolute debate. The guy condemned, lifelong believers like myself as not living up to a higher standard. I was like dude, be thankful I am saved and not some club bouncing worlding. He would always offer me advice but never accept my own. Ultimately, the rift between him and his wife was never going to be effectively communicated to repair.

In the end, I say.. be serious about your morals, beliefts.. but enjoy dates, relationships and marriage. Don't be tense and take things more seriously then they ought to be. Don't feel the need to impose your beliefs and if people do not readily accept them.. don't shun them for it. Seriously :D
Click to expand...
I agree. The difference between christian men and non christian men in my opinion is that the christian ones are so so sooooo serious! As soon as you start dating there already planning and talking about your future together, the non christian ones are just chill about it all.

I don't like uptight serious situations and conversations all the time. I like to play around. I have found a lot of christian guys i have dated do not like this at all. They wanna map out our future in the first two dates. They don't get jokes or sarcasm. Lame

on a first date i wanna just do something fun, and talk to the guy. Not all lets sit across from each other in a really awkward way and talk about all my moral values!!!!!

That being said i would only date a christian. However some christians only believe some parts of the bible that suit them. Such as the sex before marriage issue.
These are the things i want to find out about the guy obviously, but not on the first date. I like to take my time with stuff... I wouldn't feel as though i wasted my time if four dates later i find this out about him.
 
Ritter

Ritter

Banned
#17
Jul 25, 2005
2,417
34
0
#17
This thread should have a Joker meme.

In all seriousness, it is about balance like everything else in life. I will say that if you have difficulty breaching the more important fundamentals of life on by the third date, you're in for a world of hurt.
 
Descyple

Descyple

Senior Member
#18
Jun 7, 2010
3,023
48
48
#18
NodMyHeadLikeYeah said:
I agree. The difference between christian men and non christian men in my opinion is that the christian ones are so so sooooo serious! As soon as you start dating there already planning and talking about your future together, the non christian ones are just chill about it all.

I don't like uptight serious situations and conversations all the time. I like to play around. I have found a lot of christian guys i have dated do not like this at all. They wanna map out our future in the first two dates. They don't get jokes or sarcasm. Lame

on a first date i wanna just do something fun, and talk to the guy. Not all lets sit across from each other in a really awkward way and talk about all my moral values!!!!!

That being said i would only date a christian. However some christians only believe some parts of the bible that suit them. Such as the sex before marriage issue.
These are the things i want to find out about the guy obviously, but not on the first date. I like to take my time with stuff... I wouldn't feel as though i wasted my time if four dates later i find this out about him.
Click to expand...
Hey Holly, how about we go on a date - we will go to a fancy restaurant dressed like hippies from the 70's and make loud sacrastic jokes about each other for 2 hours then make a dine-and-dash yelling out "For Narnia and for Aslan"

How is that for a fun date???
 
Ritter

Ritter

Banned
#19
Jul 25, 2005
2,417
34
0
#19
Descyple said:
Hey Holly, how about we go on a date - we will go to a fancy restaurant dressed like hippies from the 70's and make loud sacrastic jokes about each other for 2 hours then make a dine-and-dash yelling out "For Narnia and for Aslan"

How is that for a fun date???
Click to expand...
Woho! This thread is getting serious!
 
You must log in or register to reply here.