*sigh*

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J

Jullianna

Guest
#1
#1
My line of work is not helpful in developing healthy relationships. It interferes in so many ways and has....more than once. It’s incredibly frustrating. One example is my phone. It rings…constantly….night and day. This past Sunday alone, just during the time I was in church service and having lunch with friends, I had 29 messages…. It’s a ball and chain that is choking the very life out of me.

I.hate.my.phone.

The only way I can have a few hours of peace, sleep, watch a movie, etc. is to turn the obnoxious thing off. I tried NOT turning it off when I was in a relationship a couple of years ago and ended up getting only 2-3 hours of sleep per night, which led to some rather serious health issues.

I’m putting my son through college right now and I need my job. Not only that, I LIKE my job, but I realize that a lot of guys don’t understand what I do and don’t have a lot of patience in that regard. This is probably why people in my line of work tend to marry other people in my line of work…but even that usually doesn’t work out well.

Sooooooooo….I’m thinking it would probably be best for me to stop even trying to have a relationship with anyone as long as I have this job and my son is still in college. Reality is what it is I guess...

Thanks for letting me vent.....*sigh*
 

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C

Catlynn

Guest
#3
#3
*hugs*

I know that jobs often get in the way of a lot of things, especially when they require so much of you. My job with Trey, though it was a good paying job and I loved it, left no room for a social life at all! let alone a romantic relationship of any sort. I felt from the beginning that while asking God about a husband, He said, "Not until after Trey." At the time I thought that meant a year or so but as it turns out, I was with them for 2 1/2 years and thought I might still be for a long time. I see now, though, that God was teaching me so many things while I was there that I might not have learned otherwise and that I think will be super valuable to any future relationship I might have.
All of that just to say, I know it sucks and that it can be very frustrating, but as you probably also know, God works all things out for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose. And anyone who knows you, knows that you love Him and you are striving to walk in His purpose for your life. Be encouraged! You are awesome!
 
J

Jullianna

Guest
#4
#4
Thanks :)<3<3<3<3
 
PopClick

PopClick

Senior Member
#5
Aug 12, 2011
4,056
136
63
#5
Hmm... or maybe there's someone who will show amazing understanding and consideration, even though he doesn't really know what it's like. Someone who has never dealt with a job like that, but understands because he sees its effect on you. Someone who will give you space when you need it, and be there when you don't.

Please don't close off all relationships, just because so many haven't worked out?

I think we're all rooting for you. And I'm trying to figure out how to make this post not sound condescending. :/
 
Stephen63

Stephen63

Banned
#6
Aug 15, 2009
9,745
179
0
#6
Sometimes we are put in impossible circumstances so that God can show himself mightily........ just a thought. :)
​
 
J

Jordache

Guest
#7
#7
What do you do? Is it possible that there are boundaries you could place that you have not before? Could a bit of organizational aid help you? Perhaps there is a
solution or perhaps it is as you say.
 
J

Jullianna

Guest
#8
#8
I found testing the limits of a three year old Mustang's engine and speakers on the Interstate very helpful. :)
 
zeroturbulence

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
#10
Aug 2, 2009
24,581
4,269
113
#10
You need a second phone. One for work, one for family and friends.
 
J

Jullianna

Guest
#11
#11
Jordache said:
What do you do? Is it possible that there are boundaries you could place that you have not before? Could a bit of organizational aid help you? Perhaps there is a
solution or perhaps it is as you say.
Click to expand...
I am an investigator. I've tried boundaries, but that hurts not only my bottomline, but the income of others I work with as well. I'm always very upfront about what I do and what it requires of me.


I'm organized to the point of being OCD, unfortunately. :) If it get any worse, they will probably lock me up. :) Hush, Stilly :p
 
seoulsearch

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
#12
May 23, 2009
14,943
4,587
113
#12
zeroturbulence said:
You need a second phone. One for work, one for family and friends.
Click to expand...

Sounds like what the poor woman needs is a secretary to take those calls for her.

Hopefully a strong Christian male who is about her age and single! :D Who needs a pool boy!!? (Sorry Jules, just trying to make you smile.)
 
J

Jullianna

Guest
#13
#13
zeroturbulence said:
You need a second phone. One for work, one for family and friends.
Click to expand...
I've tried that and had people get upset because I wouldn't give out both numbers. :( Plus, I'm already paying for mine and my son's.

The phone thing is really only part of the problem, but it's been pretty huge..
 
J

Jullianna

Guest
#14
#14
seoulsearch said:
Sounds like what the poor woman needs is a secretary to take those calls for her.

Hopefully a strong Christian male who is about her age and single! :D Who needs a pool boy!!? (Sorry Jules, just trying to make you smile.)
Click to expand...

It's working. :)

I was in a meeting this morning with someone in my office and the receptionist said someone had asked for my boss, but wanted to talk with me since he was out (Translation: Someone wanted to chew on me about something I knew nothing about). I said I was with someone and that it would be a few minutes....sooooooooooooo she transferred the call to my phone. :/

Yes, she is still alive. :)
 
seoulsearch

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
#15
May 23, 2009
14,943
4,587
113
#15
Jullianna said:
It's working. :)

I was in a meeting this morning with someone in my office and the receptionist said someone had asked for my boss, but wanted to talk with me since he was out (Translation: Someone wanted to chew on me about something I knew nothing about). I said I was with someone and that it would be a few minutes....sooooooooooooo she transferred the call to my phone. :/

Yes, she is still alive. :)
Click to expand...
Barely. Just barely.

Don't worry Jules, my money was on you all the way!! :D
 
zeroturbulence

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
#16
Aug 2, 2009
24,581
4,269
113
#16
Jullianna said:
I've tried that and had people get upset because I wouldn't give out both numbers. :( Plus, I'm already paying for mine and my son's.

The phone thing is really only part of the problem, but it's been pretty huge..
Click to expand...
No one needs to know you have two phones ;) And maybe its time to ask for a raise, or at least a company-paid phone?

If you can't do a second phone, maybe you can setup two voicemail accounts and assign your incoming calls to either the work voicemail or the personal one. I don't know if that's actually possible though.
 
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AsifinPassing

AsifinPassing

Senior Member
#17
Jul 13, 2010
3,608
40
48
#17
Jullianna said:
My line of work is not helpful in developing healthy relationships. It interferes in so many ways and has....more than once. It’s incredibly frustrating. One example is my phone. It rings…constantly….night and day. This past Sunday alone, just during the time I was in church service and having lunch with friends, I had 29 messages…. It’s a ball and chain that is choking the very life out of me.

I.hate.my.phone.

The only way I can have a few hours of peace, sleep, watch a movie, etc. is to turn the obnoxious thing off. I tried NOT turning it off when I was in a relationship a couple of years ago and ended up getting only 2-3 hours of sleep per night, which led to some rather serious health issues.

I’m putting my son through college right now and I need my job. Not only that, I LIKE my job, but I realize that a lot of guys don’t understand what I do and don’t have a lot of patience in that regard. This is probably why people in my line of work tend to marry other people in my line of work…but even that usually doesn’t work out well.

Sooooooooo….I’m thinking it would probably be best for me to stop even trying to have a relationship with anyone as long as I have this job and my son is still in college. Reality is what it is I guess...

Thanks for letting me vent.....*sigh*
Click to expand...

That is very practical reasoning, and many people likely fall under it.

...many...not all.

:p You're awesome, Jules!
 
zeroturbulence

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
#18
Aug 2, 2009
24,581
4,269
113
#18
zeroturbulence said:
No one needs to know you have two phones ;) And maybe its time to ask for a raise, or at least a company-paid phone?

If you can't do a second phone, maybe you can setup two voicemail accounts and assign your incoming calls to either the work voicemail or the personal one. I don't know if that's actually possible though.
Click to expand...
And...

Right now you can probably assign a different ring sound for your work contacts so you will know its a work related call without even looking at your phone, unless you've already done that.
 
D

djness

Guest
#20
#20
Just get your friends and loved ones to commit a slew of crimes, that way you can spend more quality time with them.
 
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