So why am I getting basically not revalation in my love life that doesn't exist?

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
May 4, 2009
1,534
6
0
#1
Basically, I tend to only get revalation when it comes to stuff from the Bible. I might be getting some stuff in other areas in my life, but never with any confermation with any other area than the Bible. Basically, I'm just wondering why I can't hear from God in this area even though I already know he's talking.
Course, it does make things worse when my friends are trying to cheer me up(and failing). Then they pretty much go from that to talking about one of them that does have a girlfriend, then there's my other friend phrophsiying to him about how things are gonna get even better between him and his girlfriend. and still there was not phrophsy/word of knowlege for me or really any type of Which made me more depressed. I just don't get why I'm not hearing from him about this area when it's so important to me.
 
May 4, 2009
1,534
6
0
#2
Computer shut down, had to quick save.

Course, it does make things worse when my friends are trying to cheer me up(and failing). Then they pretty much go from that to talking about one of them that does have a girlfriend, then there's my other friend phrophsiying to him about how things are gonna get even better between him and his girlfriend. and still there was not phrophsy/word of knowlege for me/ confermation what I think I might have hear, or really any type of hope that I'll ever get married. Which made me more depressed. I just don't get why I'm not hearing from God about this area when it's so important to me
 

Stuey

Senior Member
Aug 17, 2009
892
4
18
#3
Could it perhaps be that you are not hearing anything from God because you don't want to hear what he is telling you? Not sure, just a thought.
 
Jul 25, 2012
1,904
24
0
#4
Maybe you're not meant to have a love life? And that God wants you to focus more on something else?
 
May 4, 2009
1,534
6
0
#5
Maybe you're not meant to have a love life? And that God wants you to focus more on something else?
God isn't the type of god that'll give me such a strong desire for wife just to tell me that I can't have one.
 
Jul 25, 2012
1,904
24
0
#6
Well, I'm sorry. I didn't know you and God were tight.
 

Nautilus

Senior Member
Jun 29, 2012
6,488
53
48
#7
God isn't the type of god that'll give me such a strong desire for wife just to tell me that I can't have one.
youre assuming that strong desire for a wife is from when it could just be your flesh..not to compound on previous issues, but with your history of porn addiction is it a wife you crave or a playmate?
 
May 4, 2009
1,534
6
0
#8
but with your history of porn addiction is it a wife you crave or a playmate?
I still struggle with it, but I've come to point where it's just worthless and empty. It really is just something that's trying to fill the hole of something else that I need. I am looking for a wife for the right reasons, though I still think that sex after marriage really some of the nice benifts.
 
Jul 25, 2005
2,417
34
0
#9
This would make for an interesting conversation on personal revelation anyway. How important and/or reliable is it?
 
C

Catlynn

Guest
#10
It's exciting to hear that you're seeking God and that you have friends who are doing the same. ^_^ That's awesome!

My question is, are there things that you need to be working on and out between you and God so that YOU will be a good husband to said future wife? Not to be rude or judgmental, but having read previous posts by you and knowing that you still struggle with many of the previous issues, even if it is "empty" now, I wouldn't want to marry you. I'm only speaking for myself, of course, but have you thought about focusing on becoming a husband worthy of the kind of Godly woman you're looking for? Maybe if you spend some time focusing on God and all that He wants to do in your life, putting that desire for a wife on the back burner for a while, things may start coming together. To me, it still sounds like the need for a wife is completely consuming your thought life, as well as the desire to be able to be physical within the boundaries that God created. Someone once told me, "That which you think about the most, becomes your God." Maybe God hasn't brought you anyone because He wants to be at the forefront of your mind first and wants to prepare you to be the spiritual leader of the family you hope to have. My concern would be that you would completely make your wife your God, as it seems you have made the hope for one your number one priority, instead of God.
I don't know your heart and I don't know where your relationship with God is right now, but from the things you've posted, all of the reasons behind what you are doing is for selfish gain, and that will never end in right relationship with God or with a future spouse.
Again I say, I am totally stoked that you are seeking God and that He is working in you already to make you more like Him and that your relationship with Him is growing continually. I tend to be overly blunt so I apologize if what I said came across as overtly rude. I was just giving my thoughts on the situation.
Good luck! :D
 
D

Davidebee

Guest
#11
So why am I getting basically not revelation in my love life that doesn't exist?

Doth, i can relate to what you are saying, i really can, but i think Catlynn might have something there. you have to be prepared for a wife. ive met several people that think they want a spouse, but they aren't really prepared for one. Men who are great people, and love God with all their heart, but they don't have a job. why would a woman choose him? i know women that are good women and really love God, but they don't really care for the people, or pets, or relatives that they have known for a very long time. so why would a man choose her? i would say to you, get involved with God's Kingdom somewhere somehow. start caring for others. something you feel called to do. the wife you seek will be on that same path there somewhere. JOY = Jesus first, Others second, Yourself last.
it is going to take time. i hope it helps, but God has not now, nor ever will abandon you. sometimes our unanswered prayers are the best thing for us.
 
H

Hellooo

Guest
#12
It's exciting to hear that you're seeking God and that you have friends who are doing the same. ^_^ That's awesome!

My question is, are there things that you need to be working on and out between you and God so that YOU will be a good husband to said future wife? Not to be rude or judgmental, but having read previous posts by you and knowing that you still struggle with many of the previous issues, even if it is "empty" now, I wouldn't want to marry you. I'm only speaking for myself, of course, but have you thought about focusing on becoming a husband worthy of the kind of Godly woman you're looking for? Maybe if you spend some time focusing on God and all that He wants to do in your life, putting that desire for a wife on the back burner for a while, things may start coming together. To me, it still sounds like the need for a wife is completely consuming your thought life, as well as the desire to be able to be physical within the boundaries that God created. Someone once told me, "That which you think about the most, becomes your God." Maybe God hasn't brought you anyone because He wants to be at the forefront of your mind first and wants to prepare you to be the spiritual leader of the family you hope to have. My concern would be that you would completely make your wife your God, as it seems you have made the hope for one your number one priority, instead of God.
I don't know your heart and I don't know where your relationship with God is right now, but from the things you've posted, all of the reasons behind what you are doing is for selfish gain, and that will never end in right relationship with God or with a future spouse.
Again I say, I am totally stoked that you are seeking God and that He is working in you already to make you more like Him and that your relationship with Him is growing continually. I tend to be overly blunt so I apologize if what I said came across as overtly rude. I was just giving my thoughts on the situation.
Good luck! :D

Very wise insight!
 
A

agirlandherguitar

Guest
#14
Don't lose hope, Doth. You're only 24 and you have your WHOLE life ahead of you. The average age to get married is apparently 27, 28 for a man so you have a few years to go before you've joined the average club. But that also doesn't mean that a 24 year old couldn't handle marriage... of course they can! But everybody moves at their own pace and everything is in God's good timing.

Y'know at times I feel the way you do about the whole "spouse-seeking" agenda, especially when all of your friends and family are paring off and getting married and moving forward in that aspect of their lives while you feel left behind and wonder why. At times I feel lonely and pathetic (on my worst days) but my attitude has taken a HUGE turn by doing the following:

1) Talking to God and being truthful with your feelings. Not pleading or begging or complaining but TALKING. Also be open to what His plans may be even if you don't understand yet. He might totally change things around for you and change your heart so that you no longer desire things that you thought were once so important.

2) Be open and honest with close friends. Having somebody to talk to about what you're going through is extremely helpful. Some people might try to council you and they may mean well but really... God's council is the best council on these matters even if you don't get instant results. Remember, He works in His own time... not on yours. Which brings you to:

3) Be patient! Practice your patience in your daily routine. It can be with anything. Ask God to test your patience - That's REALLY scary because He'll do it! And you might go through some trials but you'll be a better person for it. You'll be so good that you could sit in traffic for hours just humming to the radio (ok... maybe not THAT patient haha)

4) READ THE BIBLE! If you haven't already that is. If not then find a Daily Bible you can read in the span of a year. I'm currently finishing my Daily Bible and just by doing so I've come to understand God and Jesus's whole purpose in ways I never did before. The Daily Bible is good because it's presented in chronological order and has some extra insight written by the people who put it together, breaking down some portions that might be difficult to understand. Understanding God's Word is so very, very important. If you did read the Bible but it was years ago then read it again from start to finish! If you read it in the past year then continue to seek it's guidance and re-read helpful passages.

5) Read other Christian books that aren't the Bible! Good books are Wild at Heart by John Eldredge (discovering the heart of a man), Captivated by John and Stasi Eldredge (discovering the heart of a woman). Don't be scared of reading a book that appears to be geared towards women! Because you can get all kinds of insight into the way we think and feel and see ourselves that you never thought of before. I'm reading Wild at Heart even though it seems geared towards a male audience but anybody can read them. I'm learning a lot about the heart of a man from it! If you want further insight into the single Christian woman's heart then read Lady in Waiting by Jackie Kendall.

That's all I've got to say. The advice given to you from the other posters is very good too! Posting here is a good step but be adventurous and extend all of your possibilities to wherever you feel you are led by God. In the end it's not really about finding a wife but about finding God.
 
N

NodMyHeadLikeYeah

Guest
#15
Maybe because your to busy obsessively posting threads about getting a girlfriend, one cannot hear God when one is to busy questioning everything about everything.
 

AAAPlus

Senior Member
Aug 2, 2011
601
10
18
#16
I would wager that, given this post and your previous threads, that your desire for a wife is indeed given to you by God. And you're right, He didn't give it to you just to screw with you. Jesus says that God takes care of the needs of the sparrows, and you're worth much more than sparrows! So why wouldn't He take care of this need?

Well I think He wants to, but you're not ready yet. Meaning right now you have much greater needs, needs that are more important in the kingdom of God. That probably involves getting you to the point where you'll be strong enough for your wife, not relying on her for your own emotional needs. He wants you to be ready for her and grow you in areas that you need to grow in before you start a relationship.

So what can you do? I think every single person who has posted on this thread has posted complete gold. Print them out and take them home with you if you have to.

Also, if God is preparing you this much, I would bet that He has big plans you and the girl you'll marry once/if the time comes.
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#17
My view of this is you have made the goal of marriage an idol. The most prominent aspect of your life. Through this you have allowed Satan a foothold into your life and he is actively and aggressively using that foothold to barge in. Because of this you have allowed Satan to bring you down on so many levels, while he continues to press the idol of marriage even harder, keeping you in this vicious cycle, and leaving the door open for him to easily work in your life with almost nothing to hold him back.
At this point in your life you are not showing signs of a spiritual head of a household. You have problems with lust, addiction, idol worship, self esteem, wrong priorities and an inability to see past your own desires. How can you be the spiritual leader in this condition? I'm sorry, but its very obvious you are not near ready to BE a husband. You're seeking God, not for His will, but to push Him for your own wants.
And just because you have a strong desire to marry, doesn't make it a desire from God. The more you dwell on something, the more you want it, the more it feeds your desires. And for a long time this is what you put as the emphasis in your thoughts and life. Its not that God has instilled this powerful desire to be married, its that you've let your desires overcome you.
None of this is meant as critical or insulting, rather hoping to open your eyes to the problems here in hopes that you can correct them so you can move on in your life and finally be happy and learn to be content in God and His will over yours.
 
G

GreenNnice

Guest
#18
Do you think God is going to give you a girl that likes 'magic?'

Do you even want a girl, ultimately, that likes magic?

-----
And, to those keeping on keeping on bringinf up dot's past stuff, give the kid some positives, maybe I miss things but I hear (been praying for him too) that He chooses, through faith and realization of the power of the cross of God's 'grace') him making progress from posts MUCH more whining and entitlement-sounding to God ('I deserve a girl, God') He's coming to his social network peers for understanding now for why he can't seem to be seeing why God doesn't answer this 'wife' request. Pray how you can be led to help him :)

Dothackdudebuddy, I may not he the right guy here to speak, because I commented last time that 'magic' is not per se bad for you but is it good for you, the Lord leads, Idk. With all the grace God's blessed you with in life, why not just plummet into His arms and , as ugly said, kind of, I'm saying, anyway, Lord-led, I hope and pray, but why don't you make your sole focus on understanding God more in your life, His grace in your life, just having that time a bit back you told us you got to go out with a girl is farther than a lot of guys even get :) So, wrap YOURSELF in His grace, feel His power as you ate BEATING things that are preparing God, I think, to give you new things in your life. :)

----()-----
Note: not picking on anybody in particular, and, laced in drifting up doth's past you said a lot of good things. Gid bless you all, peeps :) The Lord leads (us all) " Follow Me (John 21:22) :)
 
May 4, 2009
1,534
6
0
#19
I don't know your heart and I don't know where your relationship with God is right now, but from the things you've posted, all of the reasons behind what you are doing is for selfish gain, and that will never end in right relationship with God or with a future spouse.

Actually, if you ask my offline friends, they know I want a girl for the reason. I just tend to be alittle too obsessive about it. As for my relationship with God, bascially I know he's with me all time so I can talk to him at anytime. I'm alwasys willing to learn more about God and Jesus. I don't really know how to explain it other than I'm always to see more of God.

Dothackdudebuddy, I may not he the right guy here to speak, because I commented last time that 'magic' is not per se bad for you but is it good for you, the Lord leads, Idk. With all the grace God's blessed you with in life, why not just plummet into His arms and , as ugly said, kind of, I'm saying, anyway, Lord-led, I hope and pray, but why don't you make your sole focus on understanding God more in your life, His grace in your life, just having that time a bit back you told us you got to go out with a girl is farther than a lot of guys even get :) So, wrap YOURSELF in His grace, feel His power as you ate BEATING things that are preparing God, I think, to give you new things in your life. :)
Magic(the card game) isn't really a good or a bad thing, It just a game to me. I can't really say I'm doing it for the good of world, but I can say just an enjoyable game with my friends.

1 Corinthians 10:23-33 said:
23 “I have the right to do anything,” you say—but not everything is beneficial. “I have the right to do anything”—but not everything is constructive. 24 No one should seek their own good, but the good of others.
25 Eat anything sold in the meat market without raising questions of conscience, 26 for, “The earth is the Lord’s, and everything in it.”[f]
27 If an unbeliever invites you to a meal and you want to go, eat whatever is put before you without raising questions of conscience. 28 But if someone says to you, “This has been offered in sacrifice,” then do not eat it, both for the sake of the one who told you and for the sake of conscience. 29 I am referring to the other person’s conscience, not yours. For why is my freedom being judged by another’s conscience? 30 If I take part in the meal with thankfulness, why am I denounced because of something I thank God for?
31 So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. 32 Do not cause anyone to stumble, whether Jews, Greeks or the church of God— 33 even as I try to please everyone in every way. For I am not seeking my own good but the good of many, so that they may be saved.
Basically the game dosen't bother my conscience, but then again if we were around other Christians that think the game is evil we wouldn't be playing it around them.

Romans 14 said:
14 Accept the one whose faith is weak, without quarreling over disputable matters. 2 One person’s faith allows them to eat anything, but another, whose faith is weak, eats only vegetables. 3 The one who eats everything must not treat with contempt the one who does not, and the one who does not eat everything must not judge the one who does, for God has accepted them. 4 Who are you to judge someone else’s servant? To their own master, servants stand or fall. And they will stand, for the Lord is able to make them stand.
5 One person considers one day more sacred than another; another considers every day alike. Each of them should be fully convinced in their own mind. 6 Whoever regards one day as special does so to the Lord. Whoever eats meat does so to the Lord, for they give thanks to God; and whoever abstains does so to the Lord and gives thanks to God. 7 For none of us lives for ourselves alone, and none of us dies for ourselves alone. 8 If we live, we live for the Lord; and if we die, we die for the Lord. So, whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord. 9 For this very reason, Christ died and returned to life so that he might be the Lord of both the dead and the living.
10 You, then, why do you judge your brother or sister[a]? Or why do you treat them with contempt? For we will all stand before God’s judgment seat. 11 It is written:
“‘As surely as I live,’ says the Lord,
‘every knee will bow before me;
every tongue will acknowledge God.’”[b]

12 So then, each of us will give an account of ourselves to God.
13 Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in the way of a brother or sister. 14 I am convinced, being fully persuaded in the Lord Jesus, that nothing is unclean in itself. But if anyone regards something as unclean, then for that person it is unclean. 15 If your brother or sister is distressed because of what you eat, you are no longer acting in love. Do not by your eating destroy someone for whom Christ died. 16 Therefore do not let what you know is good be spoken of as evil. 17 For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking, but of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit, 18 because anyone who serves Christ in this way is pleasing to God and receives human approval.
19 Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification. 20 Do not destroy the work of God for the sake of food. All food is clean, but it is wrong for a person to eat anything that causes someone else to stumble. 21 It is better not to eat meat or drink wine or to do anything else that will cause your brother or sister to fall.
22 So whatever you believe about these things keep between yourself and God. Blessed is the one who does not condemn himself by what he approves. 23 But whoever has doubts is condemned if they eat, because their eating is not from faith; and everything that does not come from faith is sin.[c]
It's not exactly the same thing, but the same idea does apply here.
 
May 4, 2009
1,534
6
0
#20
So then how do I ask a girl I know from class to hang out. Not exactly sure if she's Christian or not, but she is fun to be around.