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O
Penpal of mine-
I really like you. But I regret meeting you, getting to spend as much time with you as I did. Because I liked you way too much, and I'm 97% sure you didn't feel the same. I held out for that 3%, because at one point I thought my chances were higher. I feel like a loser for being attracted to you. What was I thinking?
I've even prayed for you to pull yourself completely out of my life, because I'm not sure if you'd be hurt or not if I did it. If you did it, at least I'd know you didn't want to talk, and I'd be relieved. You don't have to talk to me. I think it would be better to hang out with you in heaven, where there's peace. And I also pray for your well-being.
Why did God let me do this, let me meet him? I know You can bring good out of everything, even if it's unpleasant. What am I supposed to learn? Not to try so hard? It hurts but I'm truly glad there's something good that can come out of this.
I really like you. But I regret meeting you, getting to spend as much time with you as I did. Because I liked you way too much, and I'm 97% sure you didn't feel the same. I held out for that 3%, because at one point I thought my chances were higher. I feel like a loser for being attracted to you. What was I thinking?
I've even prayed for you to pull yourself completely out of my life, because I'm not sure if you'd be hurt or not if I did it. If you did it, at least I'd know you didn't want to talk, and I'd be relieved. You don't have to talk to me. I think it would be better to hang out with you in heaven, where there's peace. And I also pray for your well-being.
Why did God let me do this, let me meet him? I know You can bring good out of everything, even if it's unpleasant. What am I supposed to learn? Not to try so hard? It hurts but I'm truly glad there's something good that can come out of this.
U
I did years ago. INFP. She took one, i forget what it was. But we fit well. She had a lot of issues. I am a natural counselor. That's why she comes to me with every problem she faces. We could have a bad argument, and the next day she'll have something come up and she'll call or message me. She says herself no one else knows her like i do. Understands what she's dealing with. Listens. Helps. Gives advice. Breaks things down so it's understandable for her. That, basically, i'm the only person she's ever known that can deal with her in such a way. That knows her so well. That she's had such a strong connection with. etc..
She needed someone calmer, that thought things through more, etc... basically we fit each others shortcomings and needs almost perfectly. Everyone saw it. That's what's so crazy.
She needed someone calmer, that thought things through more, etc... basically we fit each others shortcomings and needs almost perfectly. Everyone saw it. That's what's so crazy.
T
Wow...I didn't glaze over anything. I know you are doing what you think God is telling you. I just suggested you keep praying and leaning on the Lord. When people give you advice, it's not nice to ALWAYS tell them they are incorrect and unhelpful. Even if that is true, it's not nice to tell them that. And thanks Tintin for liking his comment. I'm so done here. 
U
Wow...I didn't glaze over anything. I know you are doing what you think God is telling you. I just suggested you keep praying and leaning on the Lord. When people give you advice, it's not nice to ALWAYS tell them they are incorrect and unhelpful. Even if that is true, it's not nice to tell them that. And thanks Tintin for liking his comment. I'm so done here.
As for you Sir Ugles reading this tale earlier and reviewing it now.
I think this come off wrong, but bear with me. What you say seems to me like this be the perfect relationship and you two are equally yoked almost perfectly, save one thing. Whether that is how it really is I know not, but I can see you are quite taken with this woman, and if you still be corresponding perhaps she have something there too.
There's just one thing though. Her son that you mention. Whatever he thinks of the situation if he likes you then good enough. Though I see you mention this woman much, I have seen you mention the boy little. What do you think or feel about him? Where does his carnal father fit into the picture?
I think this come off wrong, but bear with me. What you say seems to me like this be the perfect relationship and you two are equally yoked almost perfectly, save one thing. Whether that is how it really is I know not, but I can see you are quite taken with this woman, and if you still be corresponding perhaps she have something there too.
There's just one thing though. Her son that you mention. Whatever he thinks of the situation if he likes you then good enough. Though I see you mention this woman much, I have seen you mention the boy little. What do you think or feel about him? Where does his carnal father fit into the picture?
U
I think he's a great kid, honestly. He has his share of problems, too. But he has a good heart. I have fun with him. He respects me. Though we live 800 miles apart, and i haven't dated his mom in 3 months he still asks to text me just to chat. Or sometimes if her and i video chat he'll 'invade' so he can talk to me too. A few times he was upset and wanted to call me because he knows i listen to him and try to be fair.
His biological dad is still around. He spends 4 days a month there, and sometimes more. He's married with a wife, daughter and another child on the way. Don't want to get too into other of his less than favorable aspects since some people here know who my ex is and i don't want to give out a lot of her personal business.
When we talked about getting married, we were both in agreement that i would not be his dad, since his real dad was still around. But i would still help with discipline, having fun, etc...
His biological dad is still around. He spends 4 days a month there, and sometimes more. He's married with a wife, daughter and another child on the way. Don't want to get too into other of his less than favorable aspects since some people here know who my ex is and i don't want to give out a lot of her personal business.
When we talked about getting married, we were both in agreement that i would not be his dad, since his real dad was still around. But i would still help with discipline, having fun, etc...
M
I was just trying to give you some advice. It takes a lot for a person to do that as intimidating as you are, Ugly. Plus your post was super long. I would think you would at least be appreciative of those of us who took the time out of our day to read it and process it. I've read most if not all your posts about this issue and I'm always trying to help you out with it. If you don't like the advice I give you, then just ignore it. There's no need to bash me or say I am wrong. Or if you have a real issue with it, send me a PM.
Also I said "think" because I don't know if that's really what God is telling you. Sometimes we let feelings get in the way of things.
But don't worry, I'm not going to give you any more advice.
If I made a post answering you and telling you that your advice was wrong or glazed over something, and one of your friends liked it, I'm sure you would be a bit surprised too. Tintin already explained himself, but he's right. He doesn't have to explain himself.
Honestly I don't care what either of you do or think. Just leave me alone. Forget this ever happened.
Also I said "think" because I don't know if that's really what God is telling you. Sometimes we let feelings get in the way of things.
But don't worry, I'm not going to give you any more advice.
If I made a post answering you and telling you that your advice was wrong or glazed over something, and one of your friends liked it, I'm sure you would be a bit surprised too. Tintin already explained himself, but he's right. He doesn't have to explain himself.
Honestly I don't care what either of you do or think. Just leave me alone. Forget this ever happened.
U
Well, this is your second little self absorbed drama queen tantrum that you created when i was struggling. So i will gladly leave you alone from this point on. Don't need advice during troubles from someone that needs the attention on them instead.
Ironic, though. Complaining that i didn't PM you, yet here you are acting the very same way you're criticizing me for. Hmm...
Ironic, though. Complaining that i didn't PM you, yet here you are acting the very same way you're criticizing me for. Hmm...
Getting over an ex is so frustrating and exhausting. You just get so tired of trying to get rid of those stubborn feelings that just won't go away. You try anything and everything, meet new people, get busy, get a new hobby etc nothing works. Until you give up and say FINE! Stubborn feelings if you wont get lost then stay there forever, I will just ignore you.
Ugly: your ex seems to confuse you. Let her make up her mind first.
James 5:12 ESV
But above all, my brothers, do not swear, either by heaven or by earth or by any other oath, but let your “yes” be yes and your “no” be no, so that you may not fall under condemnation.
Ugly: your ex seems to confuse you. Let her make up her mind first.
James 5:12 ESV
But above all, my brothers, do not swear, either by heaven or by earth or by any other oath, but let your “yes” be yes and your “no” be no, so that you may not fall under condemnation.
That sounds fair. It is good not to go into his negative aspects, but I suppose a question be how maybe he'd feel about you raising his kid and all that. Like would he be cool with it or could you possibly end up on Jerry Springer?
Sounds like a good kid and sounds like he likes you and that's cool. I guess I wasn't meaning so much like how he interacts with you, but more like what are your feelings towards the boy? Do you see yourself raising him the rest of your life? Would raise him even if for random unforeseeable plot twists something happened to the mother? What are some things you like about being a father figure for him particularly?
My apologies if seeming too intrusive, just kind of intrigues me since a very close friend of mine is kinda in a similar situation with a single mom woman, though they kinda been doing the on again off again thing for a bit over a year now, so I am mindful all are somewhat unique cases.
Sounds like a good kid and sounds like he likes you and that's cool. I guess I wasn't meaning so much like how he interacts with you, but more like what are your feelings towards the boy? Do you see yourself raising him the rest of your life? Would raise him even if for random unforeseeable plot twists something happened to the mother? What are some things you like about being a father figure for him particularly?
My apologies if seeming too intrusive, just kind of intrigues me since a very close friend of mine is kinda in a similar situation with a single mom woman, though they kinda been doing the on again off again thing for a bit over a year now, so I am mindful all are somewhat unique cases.
U
Well, his dad is married, with a new wife, and she helps raise the boy. So he knows one day he may have another man in his life helping to raise his son. I met him once, and he was friendly enough to me. Met his brother, mother, wife as well. They were all friendly towards me.
This is not the first single mom i've dated. So i'm aware of the concept of helping to raise someone else's kids. My dad did the same thing. My mom had 3 kids from another marriage. She died 20 years go, and he still views them as his own children. So that's the example i grew up with.
Well, i liked to think i'd have a positive affect on his life. His family has a lot of dysfunction. So i thought i might be able to bring some calmness and stability to his, and his moms life. I was helping her to learn better ways of dealing with him in a disciplinary role. As a result i sometimes had to point out when she wasn't listening and overreacting. Or when she wasn't doing enough. Some of her issues makes it hard for her to deal with such things in a right manner.
He has a father with a wife, two grandmothers. So not sure how likely it is i'd end up taking care of him. But i'm aware it's possible. I would do what i had to do, the best i was able, to raise him if it came to that.
This is not the first single mom i've dated. So i'm aware of the concept of helping to raise someone else's kids. My dad did the same thing. My mom had 3 kids from another marriage. She died 20 years go, and he still views them as his own children. So that's the example i grew up with.
Well, i liked to think i'd have a positive affect on his life. His family has a lot of dysfunction. So i thought i might be able to bring some calmness and stability to his, and his moms life. I was helping her to learn better ways of dealing with him in a disciplinary role. As a result i sometimes had to point out when she wasn't listening and overreacting. Or when she wasn't doing enough. Some of her issues makes it hard for her to deal with such things in a right manner.
He has a father with a wife, two grandmothers. So not sure how likely it is i'd end up taking care of him. But i'm aware it's possible. I would do what i had to do, the best i was able, to raise him if it came to that.
Never heard of her, but yes, she does look like Shine. Or maybe Shine is really an actress and she's having us all on?
Or maybe Shine is really an actress and she's having us all on?
