Streams of Consciousness & Thoughts~~~

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TomH

Guest
Got to see Denise briefly for the first time since she has been in rehab. We were not allowed to talk because she is still in a very strict detox regiment. But she waved to me from across the fence and gave me a smile that let me know that she is doing well.

I gave her sponsor a ride there as she is the only one that is allowed to visit her or set up visitation with others right now. When the sponsor came back from the visit, she relayed a message to me saying, "Denise wanted you to tell you that she loves you and to say thank you." The sponsor then asked if I would like to come to Wednesday family night visitation saying that she could arrange it. If I went, I would be able to visit every Wednesday and also on her weekend visits.

On the way to the visit, I was able to give her sponsor a lot of detail as to exactly what transpired between Denise and I in the past few years... as well as how we met 23 years ago.

Apparently her sponsor is more hopeful than I have allowed myself to be as she offered, "I told Denise that she needs to break off contact with the people that were dragging her down and stick with the hero (loooong story)." I wanted to smile in response, but I wouldn't let myself. Instead I put my head down and said, "Well, my only priority right now is for her to get better and be as supportive in that as I am able."

Planning a small music performance for June. It will be good to play guitar for a crowd after all of these years. Probably only doing one song which was composed and produced by a friend of mine named Lynn (also a friend of Denise for 30 years). I NEVER knew that Lynn was this talented:
[video=youtube;Gh5bv5Bqb4Y]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gh5bv5Bqb4Y&feature=youtu.be[/video]
Brother, I pray for you and your lady. I've been strung out and kicked more than once in my life. I never did it through rehab, just kicked cold turkey with lots of praying and reading scripture. I hope she's getting some good spiritual counseling in that place and not just secular psychology because the power of God is the only sure way to overcome those demons. God bless you.
 
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MissCris

Guest
I've encountered some bumps in the road lately...been holding tight to the wheel in the hopes that none of the bumps throw me off the road, but now I'm kind of wondering what would happen if I were to LET. GO. of the steering wheel?

...might as well, I'm not that good at driving, anyway.
 
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GreenNnice

Guest
Lately (ever since I met this Christian girl who told me she loved me right off the bat) I've been discerning everything I come across. Every thought, every sighting, every feeling, every word I hear,.. I process and analyze what I should do about it. More often than not, it's nothing. Sometimes, I get the feeling that I should do something about a thought, emotion etc,.. A very strong feeling (as if from God). But generally, if I get that kind of feeling, I do my best to remain passive and see what happens. If nothing, then the feeling goes away. It's tough though because in my nature, I want to do what I cannot for my will is limited. For instance, I want to do something but I can't because I don't know how to do it. So then, there are those times when I get the feeling that God is calling me to do something, yet I don't know what it is. All I know is the first step. And that is to trust that He will take care of it regardless of if I ever find out what it was He called me to do. His will is sovereign so I have no choice but to trust that whatever it is He wills for me to do about something, it will be done even if I know it or not. Yes, sometimes not knowing is a struggle but as I explained; when I don't know, God reminds me that I don't need to know. If it's meant for me to know, I will know it. The thing about this is that I had a feeling about this girl who said she loved me, I didn't know what feeling it was because it wasn't just one feeling. Confused maybe? Anyway, when that happened, I was very troubled. As I did not know why God willed for that girl to say those things to me and to make me feel that way. So I remained passive and discerned what the possible outcomes may be, if God willed for it to progress and we engage in conversance, then it would happen somehow. Though now, as I remain passive, I get the feeling that God did not will for that to happen, as it has not happened. I do not rule out the possibility that it may still happen, but now I will not that it may happen for it seems it is only my will for it to happen. If I will that which God has not willed, then I am deceiving myself,.. So I use discernment between my will and God's will. My will is not always what God wills, no. But when it is, I know because God enacts His will and my will is harmonized to His and it comes to pass exactly how it should. So now, I will not to pursue feelings for this woman, as God has convinced me that it is not His will. As a human being, I am constantly encountering different thoughts, emotions and people in general. So I must continue to discern everything as if I am in a war zone. It is true, what paul speaks of about the gifts of the Holy Spirit, the discerning of spirits is a gift indeed. It remains, that I discern spirits daily. So as to date, I discern that there is one spirit that is in keeping with God's will, His spirit. He does not guide me toward a spirit that is not His. His spirit is in me and He enables me to discern if His spirit is in someone else. How do I know if it is His spirit in someone? By the harmonization of spirits in Truth. There is one who I know of that I feel I am being drawn towards that has His spirit. Until I know for sure, I continue to pray and discern the will of my spirit in this alongside what His spirit may be willing in all this,..
amammi, yes, discern the spirits. Wrong ones DO come to us, Satan attacks us where we are weak, like, for example, if you are relationally strong with people then Satan will ATTACK this with seeping 'loneliness' into your consciousness. Stream it even. You can , in Jesus' name, rebuke the spirits you discern not His spirit speaking to you. He lives in you, be cognizant of Him leading you, He is leading, always, but we get duped by the Enemy who sidetracks , with incredible derailing intent (to kill!)
that we MUST be strong in Him. :). One time, way back when, when I was 26, I liked a girl in church singles group, she helped me understand things God wanted from me. He uses others. That word just given was from words someone related to me at church this morning, the pastor and his wife doing message together, first time that's been done in His 7 years. anyway, going to church this eve, . will continue. but try to.be true to.arsenal thread intent, no conversation as best can. I guilty of this, too, just saw arwenbaggins scolding of tintin and so , anyway, I sorry milady, for that, I pray He leads me :)
 

lil_christian

Senior Member
Mar 14, 2010
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Today I read "The Hound of the Baskervilles" and I was asking some pretty silly questions about the lesson for it, and here's how it went down:

*I ask the teacher some silly questions*

*Teacher gives me some looks and answers my question with a question*

*I was able to answer the questions*

I said to her, "Sorry if I'm asking stupid questions

Teacher smiles and she says, "Don't worry, there are no stupid questions."

Which I reply to, "Just stupid people?"

She starts laughing and says, "You said it, not me!"

Yeah, we both got a good laugh out of that.
 
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arwen83

Guest
I'm gonna be take a break from CC for awhile. Take care everyone!
 
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Ilovecoffee

Guest
finding my niche in the new church take 2.

Take 1. womens group, not a good fit

Take 2. evening prayer and fellowship...pending.
 

Markum1972

Senior Member
Mar 25, 2013
1,165
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Brother, I pray for you and your lady. I've been strung out and kicked more than once in my life. I never did it through rehab, just kicked cold turkey with lots of praying and reading scripture. I hope she's getting some good spiritual counseling in that place and not just secular psychology because the power of God is the only sure way to overcome those demons. God bless you.
Thank you so much, Tom.

I have to say that I was REALLY skeptical of the idea of her going to rehab. I really wanted to take her to a pastor that I know that was set free from heroine about 20 years ago.

However, after two rehabs fell through, she ended up going to one here in Cleveland called NORA.

I was super excited about this because I actually met the executive director about 4-5 years ago at a few company picnics because I was dating the general office manager of NORA at the time.

The executive director was telling me about the program and stated, "We don't do a 12 step program. There is only one thing that sets a person free from being an addict and that is God."

So imagine my excitement when I found out she was going to that particular rehab! Small world? No way! Great God!

I spoke to her sponsor on Saturday and she said that Denise is doing great. The sponsor said, "She is super spiritual, isn't she. All she did was talked about God the whole time I visited her." That's my Denise! :)
 
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TomH

Guest
Thank you so much, Tom.

I have to say that I was REALLY skeptical of the idea of her going to rehab. I really wanted to take her to a pastor that I know that was set free from heroine about 20 years ago.

However, after two rehabs fell through, she ended up going to one here in Cleveland called NORA.

I was super excited about this because I actually met the executive director about 4-5 years ago at a few company picnics because I was dating the general office manager of NORA at the time.

The executive director was telling me about the program and stated, "We don't do a 12 step program. There is only one thing that sets a person free from being an addict and that is God."

So imagine my excitement when I found out she was going to that particular rehab! Small world? No way! Great God!

I spoke to her sponsor on Saturday and she said that Denise is doing great. The sponsor said, "She is super spiritual, isn't she. All she did was talked about God the whole time I visited her." That's my Denise! :)
That's great news, brother. When she gets out, you've got to get her to keep reading scripture and not to hang out with the folks she was getting high with before. That won't be easy if she stays in the same place, but you've got to be with fellow Christians instead of folks who start showing up to turn you on to a free hit when you're clean. Self-control is a fruit of the spirit. The power of God will cure you and keep you well, but you need to be in an environment that's healthy for your body, soul, and spirit to minimize the temptation and maximize the edification of the spirit. God bless you, bro.
 
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Relena7

Guest
If I were a character on spongebob squarepants, I'm pretty sure I'd be squidward. I feel like I'm on a constant quest for peace and quiet. And noise makes me grumpy. :p
 
Feb 18, 2013
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Currently facing a crossroads, praying like there's no tomorrow...
but I kinda just need a hug.
 
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iTOREtheSKY

Guest
((((hugssssssssssssssssss))) will keep u in my prayers :)
 
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iTOREtheSKY

Guest
ARE YOU JUST GOING TO LOOK AT EVERY THREAD I MAKE A NEW POST IN? GO TO BED. LAFFIN MY BUNS OFF!
 

Fenner

Senior Member
Jan 26, 2013
7,507
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How much wood would a wood Chuck, Chuck, if a wood Chuck could Chuck wood.

I love how auto correct makes all the chucks with a capital C.
 

Fenner

Senior Member
Jan 26, 2013
7,507
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I hear a yippie, yappie dog outside. I look at my cat and think, I'm glad you don't bark.
 

Markum1972

Senior Member
Mar 25, 2013
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That's great news, brother. When she gets out, you've got to get her to keep reading scripture and not to hang out with the folks she was getting high with before. That won't be easy if she stays in the same place, but you've got to be with fellow Christians instead of folks who start showing up to turn you on to a free hit when you're clean. Self-control is a fruit of the spirit. The power of God will cure you and keep you well, but you need to be in an environment that's healthy for your body, soul, and spirit to minimize the temptation and maximize the edification of the spirit. God bless you, bro.
NORA deals with breaking off ties. Before she went in, she told me that she was aware of this and wanted accountability. It was hard to discern what was true and what was a lie while she was still using but I could see her sincerity in some of the things she said.

It is going to be tough for her because a lot of the ties she mentioned having to break are family. She now refuses to visit them without me present so I am hopeful that she will still be able to visit family without completely breaking ties with them. When she gets out, she wants to get involved in some of the local ministries that I am involved with. She has always had a great desire to share Jesus with others who are struggling. The key for her is to be able to do that in a setting that helps her not be led into temptation. Instead of joining them, leading them to Jesus and the salvation that she has received through Him.

She shamelessly introduces me to everyone without knowing what they believe as "This is Mark and he is a man of God." It is a wonderful thing to be honored like this. She says that she trusts me (and loves me) more than any person that she has ever known and has given me full permission to share anything I would like in hopes that it will bring hope and restoration to others by encouraging them to draw closer to the Lord. I am fully persuaded to do this while also protecting her from any harm and am willing to lay down my very life for her to do so.

It is our hope to serve the Lord together and do His work when she gets out.

I would love to hear your testimony, Tom. I am sure that both of us as well as many others would be greatly blessed by it.
 
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MissCris

Guest
I'm not sure where this urge to paint things comes from, but today I'ma just go with it and roll out some rusty wheels...no, literally, rusty old metal wheels. Prime, paint, dry, put in my yard strategically for optimum coolness.

It's weird, living here. Everyone around me is all...Western. Ranchers, cowboys, cowgirls, HORSE PEOPLE...

Me? Um...no farm animals, unless they're on my barbeque grill...don't do Wranglers or cowboy boots. The only hat I wear is a white baseball cap, and that's only on supremely awful hair days. I sometimes have purple hair. My nose is pierced. My nails are usually painted purple or green. I wear flip-flops and capris and t-shirts.

I don't visually fit in here, and people stare at me when I walk somewhere because I'm kinda...bright.

Well, now they can stare at my front yard because I'm taking the stereotypical "West" out of that, too, and twisting it to suit me and my nefarious purposes...muahaha...


 

CatHerder

Senior Member
Mar 20, 2013
3,551
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so thankful for a paid gig this Thursday and that my boss let me off for it. God is good.