Streams of Sub-Consciousness Thoughts
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I'm coming to realize that I honestly don't believe any guy will ever want to be with me. Like if a guy told me he wanted to date me to my face, I'd look at him like he had just said he believed the world was flat and was planning an ocean voyage to prove it. It would be beyond a massive worldview shift, so much so that I can't even conceive of it happening. It just out there like some sort of data point near the far edge of the bell curve that is such a remote outcome you don't even take it into account when you are considering things practically.
cinder, if you don't believe you're worthy of love and acceptance, why would someone else?
your statements (this and previously made ones) makes me wonder whether what you need much more than a guy (to surprise you, or convince you of your worthiness) is a better grasp on your value and identity in Christ.
perhaps then you can develop a better view and acceptance of yourself. because if you believe you're not worthy of love, you are likely projecting that message to others, whether you realize it or not. : )
just an idea for you to ponder. : )
your statements (this and previously made ones) makes me wonder whether what you need much more than a guy (to surprise you, or convince you of your worthiness) is a better grasp on your value and identity in Christ.
perhaps then you can develop a better view and acceptance of yourself. because if you believe you're not worthy of love, you are likely projecting that message to others, whether you realize it or not. : )
just an idea for you to ponder. : )
The guy that may want to date you would be the guy that God searched and found for you. That is if you do not want to be alone for the rest of your life. I would pray for this if you this is something that you may desire. Perhaps you don't really think that a guy would want to be part of your life because you feel that you are not worth the effort. This is simply not true as God is the one that created you. The guy that God will provide for you will accept you for the sweet woman that you are. Pray for God to let you have faith and confidence in who you are. Who you are is someone special and this guy will one day tell you that to your face if you give him half a chance.
Perhaps I expressed myself poorly, but I did not say (nor intend to imply) that I think I'm unworthy of love and acceptance. I'm also vehemently opposed to any implications that I need a guy (usually even opposed to implications or assumptions that it is something I should or must want).
So to rephrase what I was trying to express: In looking at myself vs. what I see in life and society around me, I realize that I seem to be devoid of whatever qualities make a woman romantically attractive to a man. Men have not been attracted to me (or have been but found me too intimidating or scary, I guess that lack of expression does not equal lack of existence) and as I'm still me, it seems reasonable to assume that the future will be more of the same, and I will continue to feel like romance is some crazy aberration that I neither experience (or perhaps misidentify when I experience it) nor understand (Proverbs 30:18-19 anyone?).
This is a statement of what is (colored by my experience and personal bias no doubt) not a statement of how things should be or a statement of worth. It is also me putting my thoughts into words, not me asking for advice or saying that I need to be fixed. I'm still trying to accurately suss the situation out, then comes the attaching meaning and worth to what is.
"Better grasp on value and identity in Christ"- These are the kind of Christian cliches that I'm really growing to hate right now. Intellectually, I can give you all the bible verses and stories and quotes you want. I know all the right Bible things to say. But I've never seen a how to manual for getting this into the worldview level, and being told you need to do something that no one seems to know how to tell you to do is extremely frustrating for anyone.
So I do appreciate your trying to help, but probably best to let me struggle through it and vent to the internet (though e-hugs and prayers would not be refused). At least until such time as I post a thread specifically asking for opinions or advice.
So to rephrase what I was trying to express: In looking at myself vs. what I see in life and society around me, I realize that I seem to be devoid of whatever qualities make a woman romantically attractive to a man. Men have not been attracted to me (or have been but found me too intimidating or scary, I guess that lack of expression does not equal lack of existence) and as I'm still me, it seems reasonable to assume that the future will be more of the same, and I will continue to feel like romance is some crazy aberration that I neither experience (or perhaps misidentify when I experience it) nor understand (Proverbs 30:18-19 anyone?).
This is a statement of what is (colored by my experience and personal bias no doubt) not a statement of how things should be or a statement of worth. It is also me putting my thoughts into words, not me asking for advice or saying that I need to be fixed. I'm still trying to accurately suss the situation out, then comes the attaching meaning and worth to what is.
"Better grasp on value and identity in Christ"- These are the kind of Christian cliches that I'm really growing to hate right now. Intellectually, I can give you all the bible verses and stories and quotes you want. I know all the right Bible things to say. But I've never seen a how to manual for getting this into the worldview level, and being told you need to do something that no one seems to know how to tell you to do is extremely frustrating for anyone.
So I do appreciate your trying to help, but probably best to let me struggle through it and vent to the internet (though e-hugs and prayers would not be refused). At least until such time as I post a thread specifically asking for opinions or advice.
well, i appreciate your response and thank you for clarifying.
as to my "offering advice", i wasn't so much doing that, as simply making another observation, not in criticism, but in genuine love for a sister in Christ. in fact, i tried to make that quite clear.
also, perhaps i am wrong in this, but when i make an open declaration, on a thread such as this, there is an assumption on my part that i will be engaged, validated, or receive feedback of some kind. that was my thinking, and i apologize for my faulty logic of making that assumption on your post as well.
also, i would ask you to consider, what is the point of having a christian community where we post thoughts publicly and never expect another brother or sister to, in genuine love and intention, make an observation that can be discarded, disputed, rejected or replied to?
oh, one thing i will point out, since you specifically mentioned your hatred of the concept of "identity in Christ". i am sorry that this is such a cliche to you. to me, it's a widespread problem in the church.
obviously, i'm referring to scripture that refers to how God views us, our purpose, and our value to Him, although in no way did i ever intend to imply that you were biblically ignorant.
i'll take the rest of this to a private medium. : )
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I think we've got most of this hashed out now via pm. But yes this is kind of one of my post it here to get it out while still hiding it threads (maybe I should start a do not reply thread for that purpose). I know you spoke out of concern and I appreciate your concern.
It's not specifically the idea of identity in Christ that I hate, but more the prevalent church attitude that if you just get the right spiritual knowledge or have enough faith all the problems and struggles go away. And while I know you would never support that statement, it's easy for forum posts to sound that way. And while a community where there is no interaction isn't a community, sometimes it's nice to just say what you're really feeling and have people go…. "oh ok, well let me know if I can do anything to help you" rather than expressing their own thoughts or opinions on the subject.
It's not specifically the idea of identity in Christ that I hate, but more the prevalent church attitude that if you just get the right spiritual knowledge or have enough faith all the problems and struggles go away. And while I know you would never support that statement, it's easy for forum posts to sound that way. And while a community where there is no interaction isn't a community, sometimes it's nice to just say what you're really feeling and have people go…. "oh ok, well let me know if I can do anything to help you" rather than expressing their own thoughts or opinions on the subject.