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Since you asked, my first thought was that this woman was an unstable wild animal, and I'm glad you didn't wreck the car. Asking if she was "done"... yeah that probably made her pretty furious. You basically called her out over her childish behavior. Her (over)reaction of violence further proved the point. In reading your post, I don't see anything on your part that would raise any eyebrows from anyone.
A woman doesn't have to be a feminist to be abusive and then fall back on femininity for her defense. Many women who are not feminists very much enjoy their treatment as women, and then fly off the handle and physically attack men. This behavior isn't feminist behavior. It's just women-hiding-behind-womanhood behavior IMHO.
A woman doesn't have to be a feminist to be abusive and then fall back on femininity for her defense. Many women who are not feminists very much enjoy their treatment as women, and then fly off the handle and physically attack men. This behavior isn't feminist behavior. It's just women-hiding-behind-womanhood behavior IMHO.
While we're on the subject of "tolerated" abuse... I have an aunt whose adopted teenage son was dangerously abusive toward her. He hit her once in the head with something (a tool or lamp, I don't remember) and nearly killed her. He choked her once. He knocked her unconscious at least once that I know of.
The police did nothing. He was a minor, and her child. She was forced to keep him at home with her. She was terrified of him. She feared for her life and the life of her other son, who he also abused. When you adopt a child, you do not have the option to give them up to the state if the situation becomes intolerable as you would with a natural born child. If you deny them shelter, you are guilty of child abandonment.
This actually happens more than people realize. He had Reactive Attachment Disorder, which some (very few thankfully) adopted children have due to the terrible circumstances of their pre-adoption infancy. I've known three families who've gone through this with their children. Of the three, two of the families were forced to give their teenage sons over to the state and face penalties in order to protect their other children and themselves.
The police did nothing. He was a minor, and her child. She was forced to keep him at home with her. She was terrified of him. She feared for her life and the life of her other son, who he also abused. When you adopt a child, you do not have the option to give them up to the state if the situation becomes intolerable as you would with a natural born child. If you deny them shelter, you are guilty of child abandonment.
This actually happens more than people realize. He had Reactive Attachment Disorder, which some (very few thankfully) adopted children have due to the terrible circumstances of their pre-adoption infancy. I've known three families who've gone through this with their children. Of the three, two of the families were forced to give their teenage sons over to the state and face penalties in order to protect their other children and themselves.
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Chandler, I never once struck my wife. I suppose that if we just said, I am sorry we offended you enough to blow up the twin towers, the Moslems who want us dead would all change their mind and live in peace. I suppose that if Israel just gave everyone exactly what they said they wanted they would get to live in peace as well. I suppose if everyone gave Hitler what he wanted world war II wouldn't have happened. If we are all nice to evil, then good will prevail. That's what Israel believed when everyone wanted to destroy them in the O.T..
Actually, I wish I lived in the world you believe in. I worked for a couple of years as a Sherriff's officer.(Which explains why I knew that my wife would go to jail and not me.) I just wish that people would respond like Jesus did, and therefore everyone would leave us alone, just like they did Jesus. Oh wait ...
The point is this. I, never again, had to deal with the possibility of my wife hitting me. Self defense, which it would be at that point, since my warning was so clear, is not contrary to scripture. There are guys whose wives' who sneak up on their husband and beat them with bats or cast iron skillets and do so over and over again, and are afraid to leave lest their wives hunt them down. Sorry, almost all bullying ends when those doing the bullying figure out that they are going to get hurt if they do it. That's the facts, in jail, prison, on the streets ... Raise the costs so high that the behavior goes away.
I could have just put my wife in jail and pressed charges. She would have lost her job. She would have divorced me. We'd have lost our home, our cars ... Sure. No threat is involved. Perhaps I should have done it. Destroyed my life, her life, the kids life, only spent time with them every other week. Perhaps that would have been the better solution. I don't think so. Maybe you do. I got it done with a hole in the wall, and a promise that whatever she dished out, she would pay a price she never ever wanted to pay.
Sorry, the price of passivism, and just getting someone else involved to end the problem, like the Police, was just too much to pay when a little drywall and paint did the same job.
Actually, I wish I lived in the world you believe in. I worked for a couple of years as a Sherriff's officer.(Which explains why I knew that my wife would go to jail and not me.) I just wish that people would respond like Jesus did, and therefore everyone would leave us alone, just like they did Jesus. Oh wait ...
The point is this. I, never again, had to deal with the possibility of my wife hitting me. Self defense, which it would be at that point, since my warning was so clear, is not contrary to scripture. There are guys whose wives' who sneak up on their husband and beat them with bats or cast iron skillets and do so over and over again, and are afraid to leave lest their wives hunt them down. Sorry, almost all bullying ends when those doing the bullying figure out that they are going to get hurt if they do it. That's the facts, in jail, prison, on the streets ... Raise the costs so high that the behavior goes away.
I could have just put my wife in jail and pressed charges. She would have lost her job. She would have divorced me. We'd have lost our home, our cars ... Sure. No threat is involved. Perhaps I should have done it. Destroyed my life, her life, the kids life, only spent time with them every other week. Perhaps that would have been the better solution. I don't think so. Maybe you do. I got it done with a hole in the wall, and a promise that whatever she dished out, she would pay a price she never ever wanted to pay.
Sorry, the price of passivism, and just getting someone else involved to end the problem, like the Police, was just too much to pay when a little drywall and paint did the same job.
U
Im guessing extremism is your reaction to things. What you claim Chandler said is, in reality, not what he said. All he said was 'get away and figure out what to do next' and you have him saying 'get divorced and ruin everyones lives'. And then you start yammering about being nice and the Twin Towers and Hilter. Again, nothing even close to what he said, but you had to make an extreme case and exaggerate and, quite frankly, make things up, in an attempt to put his thoughts down. I wonder, if you actually took his words, and not made things up, how you could shoot down his idea. Or could you?
S
As another aside, the thing that scares me most is that the system typically tends to favor women as victims over men.
What I mean by this is if a woman just goes off the deep end and starts wailing on a guy, even if he doesn't retaliate and gets the heck out of there (for fear of her claiming domestic abuse), I've read reports of some women actually hitting themselves afterwards to make it look like he put up a fight. Guess which one usually ends up going to jail? Since the assumption is still that men are always the abuser, police don't always investigate whether or not a man's injuries were defensive instead of offensive.
It's also a tactic sometimes used in divorces - an unabused woman will claim domestic abuse and try to file a restraining order. The poor guy never gets to see his children again and now he comes up as a creep whenever someone pulls a background check on him. I get that they're getting divorced, but is it fair to torpedo his life just so she can get a better deal during the divorce?
This isn't to say that the stats aren't skewed towards men being abusers - they are, but the radio isn't 95/5 men to women. It's more like 75/25 or 80/20 depending on where you get your statistics, which means that a quarter (or nearly a quarter if you're estimating on the low side) of the domestic abuse is actually perpetrated by women.
My take away from all of this is that we're getting exactly what we deserve socially. By treating domestic violence as a gender issue rather than a social one - money, research, and funding has gone towards solving the problem for only one demographic.
What I mean by this is if a woman just goes off the deep end and starts wailing on a guy, even if he doesn't retaliate and gets the heck out of there (for fear of her claiming domestic abuse), I've read reports of some women actually hitting themselves afterwards to make it look like he put up a fight. Guess which one usually ends up going to jail? Since the assumption is still that men are always the abuser, police don't always investigate whether or not a man's injuries were defensive instead of offensive.
It's also a tactic sometimes used in divorces - an unabused woman will claim domestic abuse and try to file a restraining order. The poor guy never gets to see his children again and now he comes up as a creep whenever someone pulls a background check on him. I get that they're getting divorced, but is it fair to torpedo his life just so she can get a better deal during the divorce?
This isn't to say that the stats aren't skewed towards men being abusers - they are, but the radio isn't 95/5 men to women. It's more like 75/25 or 80/20 depending on where you get your statistics, which means that a quarter (or nearly a quarter if you're estimating on the low side) of the domestic abuse is actually perpetrated by women.
My take away from all of this is that we're getting exactly what we deserve socially. By treating domestic violence as a gender issue rather than a social one - money, research, and funding has gone towards solving the problem for only one demographic.
Sometimes, when a person is "comfortable" with something that is sin, they are not aware of the sever price they personally will pay for it. As it says, there is a pleasure to sin or we wouldn't do it. The problem is that it is a "passing" pleasure. What I did was in direct response to what I received, and the person I received it from. My wife. She was previously under the opinion that whatever harm she could cause me with her closed fist, even if she put all her weight behind it. I was simply going to take it, and she was simply going to get away with it, or, at worst, I would talk to her about it. She never once considered that she might be placing herself in danger. She never once considered my size, my strength ... the law, or that I would give her the full consequences of her behavior both physically and legally.
What I did was designed to be a wake up call. Hey, this isn't good, even if I can justify it somehow, look at the wall. Even if I don't think he would actually do it ... LOOK AT THE WALL ... if he did hit me back LOOK AT THE WALL ... sometimes the threat of hell is a good thing to bring up. Jesus didn't shy away from talking about it.
Sometimes the threat of jail is enough. The problem is, any threat you are unwilling to follow through on, you had best not make in the first place. Putting her in jail would have cost us everything, and would have probably caused divorce, and the kids not seeing me but every other week. Jail was something she might "think" I was unwilling to go through with, and ergo, by itself, would have been a poor deterrent. The first time she hit me and I didn't call the police, all credibility would have been lost. As I say though ... LOOK AT THE WALL. Once my fist went through both sides of that wall, all of a sudden the risks, the potential cost ... is quite visible. If I would punch through a wall to make a point ... would I? Now it's real. Like I said, I knew my wife. I knew my situation. I knew where she was, and what would motivate her. I never abuse her in any way, and she never abuses me.
What I did was designed to be a wake up call. Hey, this isn't good, even if I can justify it somehow, look at the wall. Even if I don't think he would actually do it ... LOOK AT THE WALL ... if he did hit me back LOOK AT THE WALL ... sometimes the threat of hell is a good thing to bring up. Jesus didn't shy away from talking about it.
Sometimes the threat of jail is enough. The problem is, any threat you are unwilling to follow through on, you had best not make in the first place. Putting her in jail would have cost us everything, and would have probably caused divorce, and the kids not seeing me but every other week. Jail was something she might "think" I was unwilling to go through with, and ergo, by itself, would have been a poor deterrent. The first time she hit me and I didn't call the police, all credibility would have been lost. As I say though ... LOOK AT THE WALL. Once my fist went through both sides of that wall, all of a sudden the risks, the potential cost ... is quite visible. If I would punch through a wall to make a point ... would I? Now it's real. Like I said, I knew my wife. I knew my situation. I knew where she was, and what would motivate her. I never abuse her in any way, and she never abuses me.
Political correctness has rendered it unviable to mock, disparage or dislike all manner of minorities. The only safe people to dump on anymore are white males. You'll notice it a lot in TV commercials and sit-coms. They need a target for a joke, they use a white guy. If they used a chinese, vietnamese, mexican, japanese (etc) guy or a woman for the same joke there would be a major outcry and their show or commercial would immediately get canceled.
J
Thank you all for your input. We live in a very odd society. So many inequalities make no sense to me.
Here are more things that make no sense to me:
We can talk about someone's addiction to porn, cigs, booze, drugs, etc., but what happens when we talk about someone's addiction to food, gaming, shopping, whatever? Aren't all addictions bad for us?
We can make cracks about someone being thin or being "too pretty to understand".... But how rude would it be to make cracks about someone being overweight or "too ugly to understand"? Who would do something like that?? *smh*
Even when it comes to sin.... How many people do you know who think adultery and homosexuality are horrible, but premarital sex is okay?
These are things that hit my brain with a big WHAT?????????!!!
Here are more things that make no sense to me:
We can talk about someone's addiction to porn, cigs, booze, drugs, etc., but what happens when we talk about someone's addiction to food, gaming, shopping, whatever? Aren't all addictions bad for us?
We can make cracks about someone being thin or being "too pretty to understand".... But how rude would it be to make cracks about someone being overweight or "too ugly to understand"? Who would do something like that?? *smh*
Even when it comes to sin.... How many people do you know who think adultery and homosexuality are horrible, but premarital sex is okay?
These are things that hit my brain with a big WHAT?????????!!!
That's just humans for you. There will always be some sins that are "OMG THAT'S SO TERRIBLE!!!" and some that society in general winks at as "not all that bad." Sin is sin to God, but some sins will get you crucified by your fellow man while he commits sins that are not all that terrible in humans' eyes.
Quote from an old Lauren Talley song:
"The accusations hurled at him
By those who called themselves his friends
As if their fear-filled eyes were white as snow
No compassion exercised
Only plans for his demise
Wretched sinners don the judge's robe"
Quote from an old Lauren Talley song:
"The accusations hurled at him
By those who called themselves his friends
As if their fear-filled eyes were white as snow
No compassion exercised
Only plans for his demise
Wretched sinners don the judge's robe"
I just want to say that I agree with most of the posters above. Abuse of all kinds ought to be forbidden. Now that I have addressed this topic, I just want to say that I hope to God that one day I will be able to watch a Broncos game without commentary on domestic abuse, gun violence, institutional racism, environmentalism, homosexuality, gun violence, etc, etc, etc.
Sorry, I had to get that out of my system. Go domestic peace. Go Broncos.
Sorry, I had to get that out of my system. Go domestic peace. Go Broncos.