The less you look, the more you find

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
IBDesmond

IBDesmond

Senior Member
#1
Jan 25, 2013
148
3
0
#1
I'm sure I speak on behalf of most people when I say I often get sick of being do single. Not dating every hot girl that shows you attention and waiting for an "equally yoked" female to come along is starting to feel like waiting for signs of life on mars.

I often express my frustrations and keep getting told "you'll find her when you stop looking for her".....what are your views?
 
F

Fighting4Him

Guest
#2
#2
It's not that you "stop looking" but that you trust God will bring you the perfect one. God's timing is perfect, our patience needs work.
 
N

NukePooch

Guest
#3
#3
Often, the guys in the Bible were simply doing what they were supposed to be doing and God brought a lady along beside them. They weren't actively searching...
Adam was tending garden, took a snooze, and when he woke up? Whoah.
Isaac was coming home from the fields when he met Rebekah.
Boaz was harvesting his fields when Ruth showed up.
David met Bathsheba....okay, the guy in the Bible wasn't doing what he was supposed to be doing every single time (grin)...

I believe the idea is that we guys are to be working to advance God's kingdom, and then we'll notice someone who is of like mind, who is working along side us...If women were created to help us men (and let's face it, we need all the help we can get), then we need to be doing something worthwhile that they can help us with.
 
Z

zaoman32

Guest
#4
#4
Nuke said exactly what I was going to say. Our number one search is to glorify God, and we are blessed along the way.

Trust me, you don't want a girl before you're ready, and if you're absolutely sure you are, you aren't.
 
A

agirlandherguitar

Guest
#5
#5
My sister always tells me that! "You'll find someone when you aren't looking" - easy for her. She met somebody and got married younger than I am now and that was five years ago. It's not really helpful because sometimes it feels like a brush off answer people give you when they have no real advice or comment to make on your situation.

I don't think it means that you're supposed to stop looking. I think God wants our hearts to be open to what he provides us with and it's up to us what to do with what he throws our way. You are looking but don't say "I want to find someone", instead say "I want God to bring me somebody" and then live life like that until he's brought that person to you. Love isn't "found" like a lost set of keys. It is magically placed into our lives by God who was holding the keys the whole time and you just weren't looking his way.
 
IBDesmond

IBDesmond

Senior Member
#6
Jan 25, 2013
148
3
0
#6
I agree. Sometimes it's just so hard when you really want that companion.

Although, I don't believe that's the only way to go about it. There's nothing wrong is dating and seeking. But you can't go wrong when you first seek the kingdom
 
S

Stuey

Senior Member
#7
Aug 17, 2009
892
4
18
#7
He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the LORD.
 
Ritter

Ritter

Banned
#8
Jul 25, 2005
2,417
34
0
#8
Is getting married the end all to be all? No. But if it is one of your chief goals in life, work toward it while keeping in mind its due importance. If you can't give it it's due importance or ascribe too much importance to it, call off the search and mature a little.
 
rachelsedge

rachelsedge

Senior Member
#9
Oct 15, 2012
3,659
79
48
34
#9
Ritter said:
Is getting married the end all to be all? No. But if it is one of your chief goals in life, work toward it while keeping in mind its due importance. If you can't give it it's due importance or ascribe too much importance to it, call off the search and mature a little.
Click to expand...
This is true. I deeply desire to get married, but sometimes I think, "Well after I do...what then?" My/our ultimate desire should be to please God and glorify Him in all that we do. There's no "Well hmm, what now?" for that desire. :)
 
Ritter

Ritter

Banned
#10
Jul 25, 2005
2,417
34
0
#10
It is rather ironic. I am extremely pro-immediate/early marriage from a sociopolitical perspective, but far less-so on a personal level. Cognitive dissonance...isn't it lovely?
 
A

agirlandherguitar

Guest
#11
#11
The "what now" question after marriage is a great question to ask yourself! I have many answers and realize that getting married means starting from the beginning with somebody and taking that next leap in your relationship with God. Now you work as one instead of by yourself and that's an interesting change. When kids are thrown into the equation it's another leap and you figure out ways together how to centre your family around Jesus. If I ever have children I promise to offer them to God and to teach them all that I know about the Lord.
It's the other question that doesn't sit well with me. The "what now" when you're much older and realize you probably won't get married. Do you sit around and lament about it? No! I suppose you could get involved in ministry or with leadership but that thought scares me. I don't have as many answers for the "what now" question regarding a life as a single person. I suppose anything could happen!
 
rachelsedge

rachelsedge

Senior Member
#12
Oct 15, 2012
3,659
79
48
34
#12
agirlandherguitar said:
The "what now" question after marriage is a great question to ask yourself! I have many answers and realize that getting married means starting from the beginning with somebody and taking that next leap in your relationship with God. Now you work as one instead of by yourself and that's an interesting change. When kids are thrown into the equation it's another leap and you figure out ways together how to centre your family around Jesus. If I ever have children I promise to offer them to God and to teach them all that I know about the Lord.
It's the other question that doesn't sit well with me. The "what now" when you're much older and realize you probably won't get married. Do you sit around and lament about it? No! I suppose you could get involved in ministry or with leadership but that thought scares me. I don't have as many answers for the "what now" question regarding a life as a single person. I suppose anything could happen!
Click to expand...
That's true, good points! What I meant more with my "What now?" quote was in regards to people having marriage as this end-all, like Ritter said. Like, is their goal just to get married for the sake of being married? That's where the "What now" question I'm talking about would come in. But yours are the good kinds to ask. :) I hope that made sense.
 
S

sharry

Guest
#13
#13
When we place too much emphasis on finding a partner, it just leads to frustration and dissappointment. I would rather focus on my relationship with God. And not everyone is supposed to be married. The bible says it is good to be single. ;) Focus on God, he provides us with every need we have. All my desire is Gods desire for me :rolleyes:
 
You must log in or register to reply here.