Oh wow O.O; i can't imagine my awesome brothers and sisters here on CC being called such hurtful names!!!
In my case, when i was still active in chat and frequented the lounge, one member suddenly called me out. He goes saying something like this:
"AzureAfire....all nice and friendly and encouraging...spreading her fire all around!"
"You think you're so good, always lifting up everyone's spirits with praising GOD and saying you'll pray for them."
"What you don't know is you're just a mindless follower, praying to a GOD who doesn't care whatever you tell HIM 'coz HE just does as HE pleases."
"You're misleading everyone! You should stop your foolishness 'coz you're bringing people a false hope!"
Our Cc brethren sprung to my rescue and defended me. I defended myself, but i was honestly shaken for being called out, feeling like i did something wrong. In my head i was like: "Am i being too much? Do they think i'm insincere, or misleading them?" Then, he was told to stop by a moderator. But he didn't. He asked me to continue our conversation in private chat. I agreed. For some reason, i didn't feel angry with the stuff he was saying. But instead, i felt the need to "stand" for my faith and love for Papa GOD.
He further insulted me, calling me A LOT of names:
-dimwit, zombie, "Jesus Freak," stupid, idiot, fool, hopeless case, blind, pathetic, etc. (i couldn't remember the rest. It was A LOT of names, all implying i'm brainless and don't think for myself because of my zeal for GOD). He even assumed that, because i'm from the Philippines, maybe i wasn't understanding a single word he's saying in english, and therefore, not getting his message through my thick skull.
He got this notion that i was just a new Christian, who doesn't know half of what a Christian life is like. Telling me to wait and see the fire die out in time. Eventually, i led him to realize that nope, i actually backslid for years, and was internally dead, and that i was recently revived by HIM, which is the main reason i was so on fire. When he heard my story, he fell silent. And he stopped saying i was a brainles blind fool when he found out i do a lot of other stuff, like playing video games, joking around with friends, and the like. He thought for awhile that i was some kind of crazed fanatic who only talked about GOD and the Bible (which is what we are called to do, after all), and knew nothing else. He no longer thought he was talking to someone who poorly understood english after i sampled him with my fluency XD
My heart goes out to this brother. He is, sadly, terribly disillusioned. He claims that he's been a Bible scholar for years, who has some trouble honoring GOD's sovereignty. He thinks it's pointless to pray, because it's GOD's will that HE follows anyway. I understand where he's coming from, because i almost fell into that pit. But instead of wrestling with the fact that Papa GOD's counsel stands, i humbly asked HIM to teach me the truth, and to embrace HIS sovereignty. What HE revealed to me is that HE is our Sovereign, Almighty, All-Knowing, Everpresent GOD and KING who is Love and Grace and Mercy, and everything Good and Holy. That there is nothing wrong if it is HIS Will that HE follows, because HE is Perfect in every way, and we are so blessed and fortunate to belong to HIM and be under HIS loving guidance. HE is LORD!!!! And even if HE takes my will away, it wouldn't matter, because HE is SO WONDERFUL to us all!!!!
My life is HIS to use as HE pleases, and it is HIS Beautiful and Awesome and Holy Will that i desire to be done!!!!
In the end, this CC member acknowledges me as "beautiful" o.o; caught me off guard, 'coz all he told me were very hurtful words. He said he felt like someone who doesn't exist...someone who never gets noticed, and was never paid any attention. I guess that brought about the bitterness to accepting GOD's sovereignty. I said i knew perfectly what it feels like to not be noticed nor listened to. I said: "I've always felt like wallpaper." He said: "A beautiful one, at that."
Our talk closed in a friendly manner. Although he still insists that i am blind, and truly wished i would eventually see the truth before it was too late, or else i'd be very sorry indeed. I said i pray the same thing for him. He seemed so sad in closing. I said i hope we'd get to talk again soon. He said he wished we don't ever again.
I sent him a friend invite after that, but he rejected it. And when i was in the lounge, he left the room. I still pray for him.
