Top 5 reasons why initial attraction is a SUCCESS!!

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Chey60

Guest
#21
#21
Gosh donkeyfish, I don't think I know any of my single girlfriends that are not girly. Some, like me are girly in a giggly girl way and some are girly in a more reserved womanly way.. But they are all feminine. I guess I haven't noticed the rarity of it. I am learning so much on this board. You can tell we dont have a singles group at my church. :)
 
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Chey60

Guest
#22
#22
The only facial hair I don't like on a guy is the long kind or mutton chops. If you got the Elvis thing or the duck dynasty thing that is such a turn off to me.. cause the mutton chops died with Elvis, and the long beard makes a young man look like an old man.. Hermit.. Lol
 
Grace-Like-Rain

Grace-Like-Rain

Senior Member
#23
Sep 6, 2013
4,430
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#23
Donkeyfish07 said:
1. Femininity - Women that are truly completely feminine are so rare, and it's the only determining factor for me when it comes to bam, hit me in the face type attraction......There's no such thing as too girly. It's more important to me than absolutely everything else.
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Sooo... if most females aren't feminine, then maybe the word "feminine" needs to be redefined... :p


fem·i·nine
ˈfemənin/
adjective
adjective: feminine
1.
having qualities or appearance traditionally associated with women.
 
Grace-Like-Rain

Grace-Like-Rain

Senior Member
#24
Sep 6, 2013
4,430
117
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#24
INITIAL attraction (based on the first initial meeting, not necessarily things that would come up later on)... these are things that I would be attracted to immediately.


1. He shows a sincerity in worship (church setting). Bonus points if he shows spiritual leadership.

2. He shows genuine friendliness when speaking to me and is interested in our conversation.

3. He is well groomed and his clothes fit.

4. He has a great sense of humor! Light-hearted joking/teasing is a plus. (Not false flattery, genuine humor.)

5. His voice and accent are nice. (Uses correct grammar, seems intelligent through his speech.)

:)
 
Liamson

Liamson

Senior Member
#25
Feb 3, 2010
3,078
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#25
Donkeyfish and I probably disagree on the kinds of women that we would be interested in. But I would probably disagree with most men about these things too. If there was simply an objective standard, by which all women were judged, I would give up.

Im not going to use pejorative terms to describe girly women but, its not my cup of tea.

That isn't to say that I want a manly woman either.

I like a woman who believes in herself, is willing to participate in things both sporty and intellectual and doesn't use her sex as a crutch. I like women who can be reasonable, intellectual, curious and resistant to social trends both Christian and non-Christian. But that pretty much makes me a unicorn hunter. I may yet give up, after all I'm almost 30.
 
Grace-Like-Rain

Grace-Like-Rain

Senior Member
#26
Sep 6, 2013
4,430
117
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#26
I am sort of finding out slowly that I am attracted to men who are already happy on their own. The very quality that I like about them is the quality that assures we will probably never be together. Drat!
 
Liamson

Liamson

Senior Member
#27
Feb 3, 2010
3,078
69
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#27
Grace-Like-Rain said:
I am sort of finding out slowly that I am attracted to men who are already happy on their own. The very quality that I like about them is the quality that assures we will probably never be together. Drat!
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This is true for me too.

I don't want to try to complete someone or MAKE someone happy. If their compass doesn't already point that way, I'm not going to change that. They might eventually blame me for their own unhappiness when they realize that I'm not capable of delivering it to them.

I'm happy right now. I haven't been in a relationship for over a year. I'm in school. I'm not looking. I have my own things going on.

If I'm being honest with myself. I know I'm not ready. I'm okay with that, even if there is a few people who aren't.
 
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GreenNnice

Guest
#28
#28
Liamson said:
This is true for me too.

I don't want to try to complete someone or MAKE someone happy. If their compass doesn't already point that way, I'm not going to change that. They might eventually blame me for their own unhappiness when they realize that I'm not capable of delivering it to them.

I'm happy right now. I haven't been in a relationship for over a year. I'm in school. I'm not looking. I have my own things going on.

If I'm being honest with myself. I know I'm not ready. I'm okay with that, even if there is a few people who aren't.
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The Lord leads, liamsON, and, it's fair to say God's shown you a girl who could wow you with worldly experience and brash wisdom and intellect and finding out she was younger than you by a few years let's you know God could put someone younger-or older--into your life who would complete you, so that you and she could live for Him as 'one flesh .' Someday, bro, just keep on keeping on, content in Him, for that IS the secret of both our need for want and our need for need. He will provide, all the days of our life, living with Him in us leading :)
 
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Shouryu

Guest
#29
#29
Chey60 said:
Shourv,
Nice list.. But keep in mind as a man of God you could get her in the gym and help her get fit.. Then again I'm sure at your age fit girls in the"church" are coming in droves. The unfit stuff usually doesn't happen until lots of babies and age happens :) then it's much harder to do on your own. :)
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1) In El Paso, single women my age already have lots of babies, this is true. This does not deter me, necessarily.

2) As I mentioned, I tried getting The Ex into a workout routine, even stuff at home. But reality is, no one LIKES being told that they need to change things about themselves, and reality is, we all want to be accepted and loved AS WE ARE. Just as we know that "missionary dating" is a terrible idea, treating someone like a fixer-upper is exactly the same thing, whether its to fix their body or their personality. I do what I do FOR ME, not for my hopefully-waiting-somewhere-in-the-future-mate, and that's how we should all be. The things we do that define us, we do for the Lord or for ourselves. If we're doing it for someone else other than that, then we're not being true to ourselves. So far, no one here has listed "pretends to like things they don't actually like to attract people" as one of their five things. ^_^
 
Liamson

Liamson

Senior Member
#30
Feb 3, 2010
3,078
69
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#30
Shouryu said:
1) In El Paso, single women my age already have lots of babies, this is true. This does not deter me, necessarily.

2) As I mentioned, I tried getting The Ex into a workout routine, even stuff at home. But reality is, no one LIKES being told that they need to change things about themselves, and reality is, we all want to be accepted and loved AS WE ARE. Just as we know that "missionary dating" is a terrible idea, treating someone like a fixer-upper is exactly the same thing, whether its to fix their body or their personality. I do what I do FOR ME, not for my hopefully-waiting-somewhere-in-the-future-mate, and that's how we should all be. The things we do that define us, we do for the Lord or for ourselves. If we're doing it for someone else other than that, then we're not being true to ourselves. So far, no one here has listed "pretends to like things they don't actually like to attract people" as one of their five things. ^_^
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Yeah, this is what bugged me about the Clothing thread too.

Get it, "Clothing thread" ;) lol

Anyways, I don't want someone to pretend they like Philosophy or video games or sports or Driving or some random thing they think I need them to. Everyone is different and no one could possibly be into all the stuff I do. Thats okay because there are plenty of things that they will probably like that I won't have a clue about.

If being a healthy gym rat is important to you, then yeah stick to your guns. :D

I'm not going to pretend to be a Vegan just so someone pretty will like me. I would hope they don't pretend to like some of the things I like, just to make me happy. Because that sort of disenfranchises people who honestly do like those things.
 
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Jullianna

Guest
#31
#31
Grace-Like-Rain said:
I am sort of finding out slowly that I am attracted to men who are already happy on their own. The very quality that I like about them is the quality that assures we will probably never be together. Drat!
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totally agree :)
 
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Jullianna

Guest
#32
#32
Liamson said:
Yeah, this is what bugged me about the Clothing thread too.

Get it, "Clothing thread" ;) lol

Anyways, I don't want someone to pretend they like Philosophy or video games or sports or Driving or some random thing they think I need them to. Everyone is different and no one could possibly be into all the stuff I do. Thats okay because there are plenty of things that they will probably like that I won't have a clue about.

If being a healthy gym rat is important to you, then yeah stick to your guns. :D

I'm not going to pretend to be a Vegan just so someone pretty will like me. I would hope they don't pretend to like some of the things I like, just to make me happy. Because that sort of disenfranchises people who honestly do like those things.
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ooooooooooo! :rolleyes: There he goes gettin' all polysyllabic and stuff!
 
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Chey60

Guest
#33
#33
Grace-Like-Rain said:
INITIAL attraction (based on the first initial meeting, not necessarily things that would come up later on)... these are things that I would be attracted to immediately.


1. He shows a sincerity in worship (church setting). Bonus points if he shows spiritual leadership.

2. He shows genuine friendliness when speaking to me and is interested in our conversation.

3. He is well groomed and his clothes fit.

4. He has a great sense of humor! Light-hearted joking/teasing is a plus. (Not false flattery, genuine humor.)

5. His voice and accent are nice. (Uses correct grammar, seems intelligent through his speech.)

:)
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So.. my ex missed 1-3 on this one..
and I love your order of things you like!!
but he had the last two down :)

so I think I'll take this list and amend my own for my own personal use..
because number one is so very important.
If a man can show sincerity and engage in praise and worship..(I know worship is all of our lives towards God but I am talking about musical portion and the sermon)
then he can have intimacy with God.. without that he definitely cannot have intimacy with a woman.
I learned that with my ex:)

thanks for posting! great list!
 
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Chey60

Guest
#34
#34
Liamson said:
Yeah, this is what bugged me about the Clothing thread too.

Get it, "Clothing thread" ;) lol


I'm not going to pretend to be a Vegan just so someone pretty will like me. I would hope they don't pretend to like some of the things I like, just to make me happy. Because that sort of disenfranchises people who honestly do like those things.
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You know some of the books out there on being a good wife to your husband do talk about getting interested in his interests..
so.. there is nothing wrong with a woman taking interest in something you like so that you two can share some common stuff.. :)

cause unless you are able to meet a woman who shares your interests somewhat, you two would never do anything together .. if you each don't try to like some of the other' s interests.
 
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Chey60

Guest
#35
#35
Shouryu said:
1) In El Paso, single women my age already have lots of babies, this is true. This does not deter me, necessarily.

2) As I mentioned, I tried getting The Ex into a workout routine, even stuff at home. But reality is, no one LIKES being told that they need to change things about themselves, and reality is, we all want to be accepted and loved AS WE ARE. Just as we know that "missionary dating" is a terrible idea, treating someone like a fixer-upper is exactly the same thing, whether its to fix their body or their personality. I do what I do FOR ME, not for my hopefully-waiting-somewhere-in-the-future-mate, and that's how we should all be. The things we do that define us, we do for the Lord or for ourselves. If we're doing it for someone else other than that, then we're not being true to ourselves. So far, no one here has listed "pretends to like things they don't actually like to attract people" as one of their five things. ^_^
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Every man I have ever been with wouldn't walk with me, work out with me etc..
and I am not a gym rat.. I am not even fit.. I am not huge but I am an average sized woman who would like to, even at my age, get more fit but don't like working out alone..
that was my point..
there may be a woman who WANTS to get fit and wants to have someone to do it with but maybe if she isn't you will over look her and she might be one of the most wonderful women you would ever meet..and 20 lbs comes between the two of you :)
 
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Donkeyfish07

Guest
#36
#36
Chey60 said:
Gosh donkeyfish, I don't think I know any of my single girlfriends that are not girly. Some, like me are girly in a giggly girl way and some are girly in a more reserved womanly way.. But they are all feminine. I guess I haven't noticed the rarity of it. I am learning so much on this board. You can tell we dont have a singles group at my church. :)
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Well, it's really hard to define precisely.......but I'm definitely using the right word........You have the girly girl primp for 2 hours feminine.....and then you have the confident, calm and assured relaxed kind that make older women so attractive....but in either case, they both radiate the same thing if they "have it". I like them both.
 
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Donkeyfish07

Guest
#37
#37
Grace-Like-Rain said:
Sooo... if most females aren't feminine, then maybe the word "feminine" needs to be redefined... :p


fem·i·nine
ˈfemənin/
adjective
adjective: feminine
1.
having qualities or appearance traditionally associated with women.
Click to expand...
It's definitely qualities I'm speaking of.....and that definition your using still doesn't define what those qualities or appearances are. All I know is, when someone has it....it hits me like a freight train. No dictionary can do it justice :p
 
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Donkeyfish07

Guest
#38
#38
Liamson said:
Donkeyfish and I probably disagree on the kinds of women that we would be interested in. But I would probably disagree with most men about these things too. If there was simply an objective standard, by which all women were judged, I would give up.

Im not going to use pejorative terms to describe girly women but, its not my cup of tea.

That isn't to say that I want a manly woman either.

I like a woman who believes in herself, is willing to participate in things both sporty and intellectual and doesn't use her sex as a crutch. I like women who can be reasonable, intellectual, curious and resistant to social trends both Christian and non-Christian. But that pretty much makes me a unicorn hunter. I may yet give up, after all I'm almost 30.
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I dunno about that, I embrace the girly girls far more than you do......but we are both unicorn hunters. lol. Everyone has their individual tastes of course and that's a good thing. Otherwise we would all be competing for the same exact ones all the time. I like the "Resistant to social trends both Christian and non-Christian" quality just as much as you though, it's very attractive....because social trends suck....they really do.
 
rachelsedge

rachelsedge

Senior Member
#39
Oct 15, 2012
3,659
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#39
Uh, I must be out of the "slang" loop, but what does unicorn hunting mean?

You leave my stuffed unicorn alone!! :p
 
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Donkeyfish07

Guest
#40
#40
rachelsedge said:
Uh, I must be out of the "slang" loop, but what does unicorn hunting mean?

You leave my stuffed unicorn alone!! :p
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You can have your stuffed unicorn.....I'm going to take your stuffed tiger and go mess with your cat. lol

Unicorn = The mythical creature rarely seen, even harder to catch.

Except used as an allegory here, and very poetically worded by Liamson :p. I think he just invented it actually, so it's really not a common slang/expression.
 
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