What reason would you not date/marry someone?

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Chrissy77

Guest
#1
#1
I have read a few posts where people stated they would never marry someone who has been married before. If you feel this way, do you also feel the same way about marrying someone who has had a child out of wedlock? Or are you looking for a virgin? What about if they are widowed?

If you are saying that you would not marry someone who has already been married is it from what you believe the Bible is saying in regards to divorce?

If a person was never married but had a child out of wedlock, then according to the Bible once they laid down with someone they are considered to be married to them.

I 100% believe marriage is for life!! No if, ands, or buts about it!!
 
Elizabeth619

Elizabeth619

Senior Member
#2
Jul 19, 2011
6,397
109
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#2
If a person was never married but had a child out of wedlock, then according to the Bible once they laid down with someone they are considered to be married to them.
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If sex is all it takes to be married, then what is fornication?
 
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Chrissy77

Guest
#3
#3
Exactly my point.... I am trying to understand why people feel the way they do.
I would like to know if this is how people believe also.
 
Elizabeth619

Elizabeth619

Senior Member
#4
Jul 19, 2011
6,397
109
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#4
Ok so I guess the question is what constitutes marriage in the eyes of God?

The best way I can explain it is marriage is the spiritual union between man, woman and God(. The physical part(sex) is the confirmation of the marriage covenant. That is where man and woman become ONE.
When a man and woman lie together before marriage they become one in the FLESH, but not one in the eyes of God. That is where the sin comes in. They participated in the physical act before a spiritual union was made with God. Therefore a couple is not "married" spiritually if they lie together before marriage.
 
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Aqua_Girl09

Guest
#5
#5
wow. you guys are going into the deeper stuff. >_< i was gonna say something like i couldn't marry someone who wasn't God fearing or a missionary, the only reason i couldn't marry a missonary is cause i KNOW thats not my calling and i need attention. i wouldn't be able to send my husband off with a smiling face. ^_^. but as for being married before, i'd have to talk with them about why they were married and having a child before marriage. . . . .i'd love it cause i want kids but i don't wanna birth a cihld of my own. i'd rather adopt.

but thats my view on things. ^_^
 
dliz

dliz

Filipino Room/Forum Moderator
#6
Jun 13, 2012
1,004
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#6
I would never date someone who doesn't love JESUS Christ. Id rather stay single than being married to someone who is disloyal to God. And yes, I wouldn't date someone who is divorced because that would mean i'm committing adultery. :p
 
AAAPlus

AAAPlus

Senior Member
#7
Aug 2, 2011
601
10
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#7
I have a few disqualifiers. She HAS to be a God-loving Christian.

She can't be divorced.

But I say to you that whoever divorces his wife for any reason except sexual immorality causes her to commit adultery; and whoever marries a woman who is divorced commits adultery.
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-Matthew 5:32

Jesus Himself said that if you marry a divorced person, it's adultery. So as long as you're married to that person, you're in open rebellion against God. There are other provisions, however, that allow re-marriage if your spouse died or if they weren't a Christian and they left even though you were willing to keep them unconditionally.

Those two are my big ones. I also wouldn't date/marry someone that smokes or has tattoos. Those are just personal things.
 
Nautilus

Nautilus

Senior Member
#8
Jun 29, 2012
6,488
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#8
I have plenty of 'qualifiers' so to speak. I might also just be terrible picky:
Wont marry if
-Conservative/right wing
-Drugs
-Previous extremes in sexual history(not being a virgin is fine, having multitudes of former partners, nope)
-refusal to adopt
-watcher of shows like kardashians or jersey shore
-doesnt like to read
-Florida state fan
 
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Jullianna

Guest
#9
#9
Disqualifiers:

- Non-christian; not ACTIVELY living for/growing in God
- Substance abuse issues that haven't been dealt with
- Someone with a history of abusing others
- Someone who has abandoned/neglected their children
-Someone with a history of lying/cheating in relationships
- Divorce is not an automatic disqualifier for me if his wife committed adultery or abandoned him.
 
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kayem77

Guest
#10
#10
Some of the reasons would be:

- Being an unbeliever
- Being lukewarm
- Carrying a BIG EGO with him everywhere he goes (i.e. refusing to talk to strangers, being rude to waiters, talking about himself all the time)
- Divorce can be another reason, but it also depends on the causes of the divorce. If his wife passed away, I wouldn't mind, or if she abandoned him. If he got divorced being a believer and the reasons were not biblical, I would not pursue a relationship with him. This would be something we would need to talk about I think.

There are other reasons but they are more like prefrences :). I wouldn't be so interested in someone who doesn't like to read or someone who doesn't care at all about world issues.
 
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nw2u

Guest
#11
#11
The healthy do not need a doctor, but the sick. I think someone really important said something like this somewhere. Hmmmm.... let me see....now, where was that?
 
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Jullianna

Guest
#12
#12
nw2u, I agree that people who are dealing with some of the things discussed above absolutely need God's healing touch and we should befriend and pray for them. However, there are things that individuals need to deal with and allow God to heal before entering into holy matrimony with another believer. God CAN and will heal such baggage. The problem is that a lot of people don't want to a. recognize that it exists, b. be honest with someone they care about regarding the thing, or c. release it to God for restoration/healing. When that sort of heavy baggage is carried into a marriage, it touches every part of the marriage..that person, the spouse, the home, the extended family, the children...everything.

WE can't marry and fix anyone. God can though. :) If someone isn't serious enough about surrendering these things to God before marriage, I would have trouble understanding why I should believe they would do it afterward. I'm not a fan of missionary dating and I'm most certainly not a believer in missionary marriage.
 
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Chrissy77

Guest
#13
#13
Aqua_Girl09 said:
wow. you guys are going into the deeper stuff. >_<
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Actually I really wasn't going deeper but I guess it came across that way. I was just looking for clarification on whether people are saying they won't marry someone if they have previously been married because it is something biblical they believe is in God's word or if it is just a preference. And whether they felt the same way towards people having children out of wedlock.
 
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Chrissy77

Guest
#14
#14
Jullianna said:
WE can't marry and fix anyone. God can though. :) If someone isn't serious enough about surrendering these things to God before marriage, I would have trouble understanding why I should believe they would do it afterward. I'm not a fan of missionary dating and I'm most certainly not a believer in missionary marriage.
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I totally agree with this!!
 
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Chrissy77

Guest
#15
#15
Remember there are two sides to every story. I know the Bible says divorce is only acceptable under certain circumstances. Keep in mind though that what one person may say is the reason for a divorce may not be the reason their ex would give. You have to fight for a marriage until the end. Hopefully it is two people fighting.
 
taggerung

taggerung

Senior Member
#16
Apr 26, 2009
219
2
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#16
A guy who is rude to waitstaff. Or children. Or animals. Or a man who does not say thank-you, when someone serves/helps him. Those things automatically disqualify him from having a relationship with me.
 
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kayem77

Guest
#18
#18
AAAPlus said:
Rude to animals rofl!!

"Honey...I think you offended that snail"
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You can laugh but I don't like it if people are rude to snails :D I always give 'em a ride when I see 'em. They have snail feelings too, you know.
 
Oncefallen

Oncefallen

Idiot in Chief
Staff member
#19
Jan 15, 2011
6,031
3,265
113
#19
^^I can't help but wonder if you feel the same way about slugs.





 

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Jullianna

Guest
#20
#20
^now that's attractive^ :eek::p
 
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