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This idea has come up a lot to me in the past year or so.
At what point do you begin treating your significant other with the same respect and committment that you would your spouse?
Let me clarify:
I know that a lot of us believe that when you are married to someone, there will be lots of situations where you have to come together before God and work things out. You may have to fight for your marriage. As a woman, you may have to go solo when your husband is going through difficult times of depression, failure, or a midlife crisis and war in prayer for him. As a husband, if your wife isn't as close to the Lord as she once was, if she's bogged down by taking care of kids, cleaning, working, you step up and seek the Lord for the both of you. Whatever the situation may be, I absolutely believe in fighting for your marriage, so long as it's still physically and emotionally healthy.
But here's the question, when you are only in the dating stage of a relationship, working to see if you WANT to get married, do you still fight as hard for the relationship when things go sour? If there is significant trouble that seems to continually surface, do you fight? Or do you decide that maybe this just isn't right? At what point do you begin to treat the relationship with the same committment as you would in a marriage?
I've experienced this situation and it was quite the learning curve.
I thought that I needed to have the same expectations and committment level to someone that I was dating for the purpose of marriage, as I would a husband. This just wasn't the case. After dating for a little while, we realized that there were some things that just weren't working out. I felt as though I must have done something wrong for it to not be working out because in the beginning it all made perfect sense. I felt like I was failing at being a "good Christian girlfriend" because I didn't think that I could follow this man and I didn't want to continue working through a relationship with someone I couldn't follow spiritually. In turn, he (I think) didn't understand why I didn't have that same level of committment to the relationship at the time. (now it's all cleared up, no worries)
It took a bit for us to both realize that it was perfectly okay to say, "Hey, this just isn't working out." because we had both felt that this relationship was from God. But you know what? It really was okay. It's also important to realize that, if the relationship does end, each person will need time to digest that ending and take it all in. To understand why things ended and why it's better that way. When he left, he didn't want to give up. He wanted to fight for the relationship, for love. But after spending time with God, thinking about what it woudl mean to be with me, he realized that he wasn't what I needed. He wasn't what was best for me. Doesn't mean he failed or that I failed, it just was.
Now that my rant is over....feel free to share your thoughts and experiences if you like. ^_^
At what point do you begin treating your significant other with the same respect and committment that you would your spouse?
Let me clarify:
I know that a lot of us believe that when you are married to someone, there will be lots of situations where you have to come together before God and work things out. You may have to fight for your marriage. As a woman, you may have to go solo when your husband is going through difficult times of depression, failure, or a midlife crisis and war in prayer for him. As a husband, if your wife isn't as close to the Lord as she once was, if she's bogged down by taking care of kids, cleaning, working, you step up and seek the Lord for the both of you. Whatever the situation may be, I absolutely believe in fighting for your marriage, so long as it's still physically and emotionally healthy.
But here's the question, when you are only in the dating stage of a relationship, working to see if you WANT to get married, do you still fight as hard for the relationship when things go sour? If there is significant trouble that seems to continually surface, do you fight? Or do you decide that maybe this just isn't right? At what point do you begin to treat the relationship with the same committment as you would in a marriage?
I've experienced this situation and it was quite the learning curve.
I thought that I needed to have the same expectations and committment level to someone that I was dating for the purpose of marriage, as I would a husband. This just wasn't the case. After dating for a little while, we realized that there were some things that just weren't working out. I felt as though I must have done something wrong for it to not be working out because in the beginning it all made perfect sense. I felt like I was failing at being a "good Christian girlfriend" because I didn't think that I could follow this man and I didn't want to continue working through a relationship with someone I couldn't follow spiritually. In turn, he (I think) didn't understand why I didn't have that same level of committment to the relationship at the time. (now it's all cleared up, no worries)
It took a bit for us to both realize that it was perfectly okay to say, "Hey, this just isn't working out." because we had both felt that this relationship was from God. But you know what? It really was okay. It's also important to realize that, if the relationship does end, each person will need time to digest that ending and take it all in. To understand why things ended and why it's better that way. When he left, he didn't want to give up. He wanted to fight for the relationship, for love. But after spending time with God, thinking about what it woudl mean to be with me, he realized that he wasn't what I needed. He wasn't what was best for me. Doesn't mean he failed or that I failed, it just was.
Now that my rant is over....feel free to share your thoughts and experiences if you like. ^_^
