Where to go to meet people?

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acesneverwin

acesneverwin

Senior Member
#1
Jun 8, 2011
186
12
18
#1
I'm not really interested in a significant other but I'm bored enough to start playing with the idea of it. But even if I was I have no idea how to meet them as I just have a hard time in general meeting people. I just don't think I'm particularly ready for a GF or being serious like that as I don't feel like settling down.

I just wanna have someone to call up and go do something. Even simple stuff like going to the store is more fun with a buddy.

I'm bored as eirhtiqeurthiuhrueig!! Online it's so easy but I find any online friendships to be quite... well... you can't do much with them. Sit and talk and really, I try to stay off the computer... I don't want to spend more time talking to people I'll probably never meet anyway or do anything with so IMO... not what I'm lookin for.

I've got a dude from work, we go out to lunch every week or two and that's cool but I need other people. He's got a family and it'd be nice to have other connections. That's my only one right now though and it took a lot of work on my part to make that one. I can't just depend on him for my "human" interactions. I'm really bored and I wish I could just find someone who was bored too and just wanted to try some stuff together like hiking, or 4x4ing or something like that. And then maybe get a couple peeps together after you have connections and do something. I just don't wanna latch onto one person.

I have been feeling more confident so I don't really mind the dating thing but... aside from online dating sites (which I hate to be honest, I've tried it) I'm not sure where to start there either. When I'm doing stuff with people, I feel more confident, less depressed, and more like trying new stuff but I always hit this wall were all I need are the people and there are none. Then my tires burn out and I gotta start over...
 
Pipp

Pipp

Majestic Llamacorn
#2
Sep 17, 2013
5,536
2,703
113
Georgia
#2
Do you not have any friends from church ? That's a good place to look usually...
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#3
#3
The biggest problem here is finding people in your age range who aren't married and have a family to focus on. And the ones that are willing to go out are likely to go out with other guys who are dads, as it seems this is the circle of how friendship operates. Then if you add Christians, they're usually too busy to spend time with anyone. Its no wonder people resort to the internet. All these people who fit these small niches that have trouble making friends in real life can meet each other on line.
 
zeroturbulence

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
#4
Aug 2, 2009
24,581
4,269
113
#4
I suggest enrolling in some classes at a local community college. Its a great way to meet people, maybe even that special someone. It doesn't have to be an academic class. I took a photography class once and there are classes in stuff like art and singing or whatever floats your boat..
 
Z

zaoman32

Guest
#5
#5
College campuses and parks after dark...hitch hiking (doesn't hurt to show a little skin for the ladies), and the laundromat.
 
acesneverwin

acesneverwin

Senior Member
#6
Jun 8, 2011
186
12
18
#6
Pipp said:
Do you not have any friends from church ? That's a good place to look usually...
Click to expand...
Oh good question... It's hard to find anyone my age at church though. I don't even go to church anymore cause there really wasn't much point. Go in, sit down, leave. Hard to meet people like that. Also church is more of a family thing. Sure they have "events" but I'm not going to those alone lol. Otherwise it's like going to a party alone without knowing anyone and who does that? If they had some way for you to get involved, I'd try that avenue but usually "getting involved" is a broad general thing like donating canned food or something. I asked the pastor how I could get involved once and he said "come every sunday"... and that was that so I got bored of going and I don't anymore. I'd pick it back up if I had a family but that's about it.
 
Pipp

Pipp

Majestic Llamacorn
#7
Sep 17, 2013
5,536
2,703
113
Georgia
#7
I have a decent amount of friends from church, volunteering for red cross, and also online. I like my online friends as much as the ones I'm around alot.. lol.
 
A

Arlene89

Guest
#8
#8
acesneverwin said:
Oh good question... It's hard to find anyone my age at church though. I don't even go to church anymore cause there really wasn't much point. Go in, sit down, leave. Hard to meet people like that. Also church is more of a family thing. Sure they have "events" but I'm not going to those alone lol. Otherwise it's like going to a party alone without knowing anyone and who does that? If they had some way for you to get involved, I'd try that avenue but usually "getting involved" is a broad general thing like donating canned food or something. I asked the pastor how I could get involved once and he said "come every sunday"... and that was that so I got bored of going and I don't anymore. I'd pick it back up if I had a family but that's about it.
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Firstly, it's good that you have come to a place where you are ready to reach out and make that leap of faith. It can be hard changing your life once you are settled in to a comfortable routine and life style. We were made for relationship. God in three persons, Father, Son and Holy Spirit are in perfect relationship with each other. Being made in the image and likeness of God, we too are designed for relationship and communion with others.

Some things I noticed in your first post were you statements about boredom. Boredom can be a real bummer but one thing I have found in my own walk is this, if you are not ready to appreciate it, God may not bring it your way. Friendship and trusting people is something that takes nurturing and sacrifice, I used to just have 'friends' to chill and hang out with and kill time with, but the friendships were as shallow as my attitude towards them. We were just using each other, so to speak.

Another thing, church is a great social setting, but never should it be a social setting alone. If you go to church purely to meet people, then you're missing the whole point of 'church'. It seems you have a desire to be involved and share your life with other people, it seems you are ready to trust and let people in, but if you're willing and truly ready then take up the courage and boldness and do the first steps like, 'getting involved in church'. You never know, God may honour that and He will open doors for you. Go alone to events. Throw yourself in the deep end. Face your personal Goliath and conquer it.
 
Oncefallen

Oncefallen

Idiot in Chief
Staff member
#9
Jan 15, 2011
6,032
3,285
113
#9
acesneverwin said:
Oh good question... It's hard to find anyone my age at church though. I don't even go to church anymore cause there really wasn't much point. Go in, sit down, leave. Hard to meet people like that.
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Yep, you'll never meet anyone like that. You need to do more than just go through the revolving door every Sunday and get your "I went to church today" sticker. True, church tends to be geared towards families since they are the backbone of the church however singles can be invaluable since we don't have a spouse and kids absorbing out attentions. I've found that if someone truly wants to get connected in a healthy church they will find ample opportunities to do so. A healthy church is outgoing and outreach oriented and thus always has the need for people to serve. Unfortunately too many people go to church today with the attitude that the church is solely there to serve them.
 
christian74

christian74

Senior Member
#10
Oct 1, 2013
594
280
63
#10
acesneverwin said:
I don't even go to church anymore cause there really wasn't much point. Go in, sit down, leave. Hard to meet people like that. If they had some way for you to get involved, I'd try that avenue but usually "getting involved" is a broad general thing like donating canned food or something. I asked the pastor how I could get involved once and he said "come every sunday"... and that was that so I got bored of going and I don't anymore.
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I think serving as a youth group teacher is one great way to get "involved" in church. I also think getting involved in church is a great way to not only serve but also a better way to meet people who have same flow as Christians. And just out of concern,... I hope you are attending another church now where you have more opportunity to serve and get involved.
 
K

kayem77

Guest
#11
#11
I don't know what people are talking about when they say it's hard to meet people at church. I have found that many churches have groups for different ages. I just moved to a different city here in California, and though it's smaller, there are still tons of churches everywhere, many of them have groups for all ages. I was involved in a group at my old church, and I just found a group in my new home. Is it harder in other states?
 
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