Why do so many Christians avoid waiting until marriage now?

[Atwood]

Three words....

Because its easier!

In the short term anyway its far easier to not wait. Having been dealing with the accusations of being gay and numerous other similar things for years I can tell you waiting is probably the hardest thing to deal with as a christian especially since the media is so focused on sex. The bible says we are to avoid the appearance of evil, but how do yo manage that when the very act of avoiding the appearance of evil (waiting till marriage) makes you appear evil (gay) to the rest of the world because you aren't sleeping with every woman who comes around. Being a celibate single male isn't easy in this world.

Calling you "gay," sounds like a satanic ploy.

The Bible agrees with you so much that it commands that every man should have his own wife, due to the danger of fornication -- start of 1 Corinthians 7. A healthy sexual itch demands marriage, though one (if a believer) must marry a Christian, and before that pray & trust the Lord for wisdom (James 1).

 

[Atwood]

You know what I find interesting? Some people who are completely without any religion or faith whatsthe decision to remain celibate until marriage is a deeply personal one, and one that requires conviction by the Holy Spirit.

What is your proof of that?
Do you say the same about "the decision not to steal or commit murder"?

 

[Pheonix]

Calling you "gay," sounds like a satanic ploy.

The Bible agrees with you so much that it commands that every man should have his own wife, due to the danger of fornication -- start of 1 Corinthians 7. A healthy sexual itch demands marriage, though one (if a believer) must marry a Christian, and before that pray & trust the Lord for wisdom (James 1).

I know its a ploy by satan but I'm old enough not to care whether people think I'm gay or not, I've already dealt with that issue years ago, but it certainly gets annoying to hear someone asking if you are gay every 6 months or so just because you don't have girls and sex on the mind. As for having a wife, yes I should however with the responsibily of marriage comes a need for lots of money due to our money hungry world today. Since God doesn't make money grow on trees or bottomless bank accounts I can't really afford myself never mind a wife and resulting kids. So long story short... marriage isn't really an option under my current circumstances, and since I can't reasonably expect to be able to marry I also am not going to get involved with a woman and force her to make the choice of marrying a terminally unemployed man or not.

 

[Fenner]

Some marriages fail, some don't. You can't predict whose marriage will make it and whose won't. Sexual past or not, it's not the past that matters in your marriage, it's the present. If you love someone but can't let go of their past, then don't marry them. My husband and I weren't virgins when we got married. I hope we last, but who can say what the future holds.

I know him well, but honestly you never truly know what someone else is thinking. I put my trust in him and I don't think about who he slept with before me. If I did we wouldn't have gotten married.

You can't change what you did, just learn from it and move on. I can't remember why I didn't wait until I got married. I have no idea why other people don't wait. People are people, we act on impulse sometimes

Man I'm tired.

 

[Animus]

Fornication is a Sin - why don't so many so called "Close to God" or "God first!" Christians wait until marriage anymore?

I think the better question is: Why do so many fornicators call themselves Christians? A girl once tried to convince me that since she was raised Catholic it was okay for us to have sex (obviously a terrible argument). The point is that there are all sorts of reasons to pretend to be a Christian to get what you want. The church is a community that has certain benefits, and someone that is raised in a Christian home, but is himself not a true Christian, will try to bend the rules until he finds another community, usually once he leaves home.

Also..a weird thing to add on..I've actually met Atheists and Agnostics (who were surprisingly not as rude as majority of them are) who are actually Willing to wait...
...what gives? Seriously..? I'm just getting so frustrated.

Cynical as it may sound, I suspect this is a gimmick as well. People are willing to wait, but for what? Most moderate secular people will wait until they are in a "loving relationship" but I think its more likely that "I'm willing to wait" is sort of like "I love you" in that it's easy to say at the offset, but people don't often carry through. And moreover, both statements create the sentiment that causes the recipient to not want to wait. If you want someone to compromise their morals you first have to make them feel as though they don't need to, and then, over time, make the compromise seem like a smaller and smaller issue.

 

[love7]

How I wish I had not done the things I have done! I also wish I had answere to you're question but I don't. I just discovered that within the people who are christian there are those who literally see no problem in engaging in sexual activities,No problem or hint of shame.I can't be like that; I have come to understand my sexuality as something that can be evidence of my trust and devotion to God.For me its not about "the one" or church rules but my Love for God.

 

[NestForASparrow]

I think this is the main reason I try not to get involved when people tell me I should date. I fear it will get too intimate in violation of what God wants for me.

 

[BlackTigress777]

I'm frustrated that the Christian world is beginning to reflect more of the world than Christ, yes. I'm planning to wait until marriage but I also believe if someone has had a sexual past, and they're heartfelt in their repentance, they're righteous in God's eyes and there's a much better chance of marriage working.

I'm definitely willing to date someone who has a sexual past - as long as he's willing to wait now.
If that's what you meant. I'm not that picky, lol..

 

[Tintin]

I'm definitely willing to date someone who has a sexual past - as long as he's willing to wait now.
If that's what you meant. I'm not that picky, lol..

Good on you, my sister. That's a healthy perspective you have there.

 

[biscuit]

As much as I love men, I have a HIGH respect for God and completely believe in him - so I refuse to have sex before I'm married (I avoid sexting, and sending nude pics as well).
I pretty much get anything I pray for, and the things I don't "get" - I receive a Huge lesson in return. The life and situations that I'm in and the many things that I study prove God's existence, and that he does indeed care for me.

So since I respect him, I try my best not to Sin. I know we're all born with it, and we can't 100% avoid it - but still, I try my Best.

Fornication is a Sin - why don't so many so called "Close to God" or "God first!" Christians wait until marriage anymore?

Think about it - now days, this world is Horrible. Non-married relationships do Not last - even while you're having sex in them! Married relationships (with people who have had sex in the past) don't last either! Does anyone think that Maybe fornication, past or present, has something to do with it?

I'm pretty sure that there is indeed other problems than just That, but still..My main question is - why don't so many Christians wait until marriage anymore? Is it disproven now..? Is fornication something different than having sex outside of marriage..?

Like, really..? Anyone else who's waiting until marriage that's absolutely frustrated?

Also..a weird thing to add on..I've actually met Atheists and Agnostics (who were surprisingly not as rude as majority of them are) who are actually Willing to wait...
...what gives? Seriously..? I'm just getting so frustrated.

At a time marriage was seen as a "spiritual & divine" connection with God and was considered a "good thing."

Today, marriage lacks the "spiritual & divine" connection with God and seen by many as a 'financial basket' controlled by the secular world.

There are not many men who wants to get married because of the legal entrapments and just 'cheaper' to fornicate.

 

[JesusLives]

Christians are not trusting God to match them up with a good mate. God is a perfect match maker when allowed to do His work. I am positive Adam and Eve were a perfect match. Not perfect humans as they ate from the tree forbidden, but they were made for each other by God.

We don't have enough self respect to value our worth as seen through Jesus eyes and because a fear of rejection and that the one we think we love will leave if we don't put out.

Up until now every relationship I have had was wrong. Either sex given freely or putting the man in an idol place instead of God being put in His rightful first place in my life. Just now at this age 59 I am learning to do things God's way and my life is so much better for it. I am in the beginnings of a relationship and have made it perfectly clear that this time I want to do it God's way. I trust that God will work things out and that should we end up together that we will be a great match. God knows both of us better than we know ourselves.

So I think Christians need to put their faith in God that He knows what He is doing and trust Him with all of their lives and stop trying to improve on God's plan that He has for them. God's way is always the best. Pray, trust, have faith and believe that God will provide the best match possible for you.

 

[eugenius]

Most of the women out there would laugh at me for waiting until marriage. Apparently that is not the way the world works anymore. The world works according to post modern principles. Most of my friends don't even marry anymore. They just live together.

Society and morality is degrading at an extremely fast pace. It really is a battle, a cultural battle. Every day. Dare to be an outcast and live according to your principles even when its not popular.

When I see young people especially, choose to live according to God's principles, even when their parents believe in a postmodern worldview, I smile a little inside. It becomes a rebellion against your parents lack of morals instead of the other way around.

 

[BlackTigress777]

So now, I'm starting to realize..It's not exactly impossible to find a guy who could wait until marriage. It's just that they tend to be a lot older than me.. :/

I've talked to some guys who are 5 - 7 years older than me, willing to wait - non-hesitantly. But that's just a bit too old for me..

So I gotta wait a few more years probably. There's only one guy I'm interested in who's actually willing to wait, but he's almost five years older than me - which is my highest limit! Lol, so it'll be fine..We're good friends too.

 

[G4JC]

...My main question is - why don't so many Christians wait until marriage anymore? Is it disproven now..? Is fornication something different than having sex outside of marriage..?

The biggest reason is education system. They've been strategically promoting corrupt sex-ed since the 1960's and went downhill ever since the removal of the bible from public schools. I would suggest that this is the rise of successful Cutural Marxism implementation. In the United States these 45 communist goals were read officially into Congressional Record--Appendix, pp. A34-A35; January 10, 1963. Some of them may amuse you as to how accurate they were: Communist Agenda List <-- click

Other reasons are a failure of the church and the rise of a social gospel which teaches only "love" and helping humanity save itself. You never hear about sin, repentance, or a need to remain pure and the need for a saviour. In fact I have known many so-called "christian" guys who do not believe in Jesus Christ as the only way to heaven and go to youth groups just to pickup a vunerable date. Had these youth groups actually taught the gospel instead of choking on Chubby Bunnies maybe we wouldn't have this problem.

Thankfully there are good people still teaching the scriptural message, but they no longer as main stream as they once were.
Some good teachings on purity can be found by Lesie Ludy for example.

That being said, just wait and keep waiting. I still am, I'm sure many others are too - we're just becoming far and few between. Just trust in the Lord and wait.