Yes obey anyway, because God says it, even if they would be bossy and completely wrong. David respected Saul, but not because he was right. Same with a bossy husband or a boss. Just forgive and bless them and do what they want. Then they can't control you anymore, affect your mood, because you know what God thinks about you and it doesn't matter.
My family are pushing me too hard
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Well I don't believe she lies about her mother spanking her (you can go to court for that here, child abuse), if she's only not allowed to wear revealing clothes and must stay away from those teenagers with bad influence, no problem, but if she can't decide what she wants to wear within borders, that's not normal. Putting her in such an extreme school with school uniforms, it may be my Dutchness, but that's completely over the top and then she has to obey her 20 year old sister, which is completely nuts in my book. When I was 3 my sister babysat me. She said: go in the corner. Lol I obediently stood there and she said ehmm yeah well get out now. I didn't know, she told me later, so funny.
P
Fran, do you really think your sister is being bossy? She probably just wants you to do the right thing and doesn't know how else to tell you. That is the way I would look at it.
I don't think it's a matter of what you need to do anymore, because I think you know that. If you want to just hang out in the chatrooms or something, have a nice break from life and make some friends, and maybe learn something about the Bible in the process, that sounds like a good idea to me. Other than that, focusing on the positive and thanking the Lord always for every slightest thing that is good. And pray for the things you want so that your wishes can be answered.
I really hope the best for you Fran. You are a very pretty girl and it looks like you have a good heart too. Change is never immediate but will definitely happen if you make it your goal, too. Goals are very important because they give you something to strive for. Whatever is important to you will be placed above all other thoughts in years to come. That is why deciding what you want for yourself, your future, and your personality, will definitely help you in this journey.
I don't think it's a matter of what you need to do anymore, because I think you know that. If you want to just hang out in the chatrooms or something, have a nice break from life and make some friends, and maybe learn something about the Bible in the process, that sounds like a good idea to me. Other than that, focusing on the positive and thanking the Lord always for every slightest thing that is good. And pray for the things you want so that your wishes can be answered.
I really hope the best for you Fran. You are a very pretty girl and it looks like you have a good heart too. Change is never immediate but will definitely happen if you make it your goal, too. Goals are very important because they give you something to strive for. Whatever is important to you will be placed above all other thoughts in years to come. That is why deciding what you want for yourself, your future, and your personality, will definitely help you in this journey.
K
Fran I didnt say you are a liar. But I dont think your mother is a control freak. I think you scared her and over time she will loosen up on you. I dont want you to turn against your mom. Im trying to give you good advice. I said already that you are too old for spanking,and I stand by that. But I think your mother is trying to protect you and because this is your first big mess up you just really surprised her. You're at an age where you can get pregnant and thats a very easy thing to happen. Easier than you think. I think she's trying to open your eyes to the dangers you can face. Your at an age where your mom is no longer going to be there to make decisions for you and protect you. Let her see you can be trusted again and I bet she will relent.
K
Where you live is a lot different than America. There are a lot of dangers for teens that are unaware or mature enough to understand those dangers. What she wears is up to her parents, she is underage. Some parents are more strict in that area but this is a result of her mother seeing her daughter making bad choices in her life. She is doing her best to protect her. There are plenty of schools you go to that have uniforms. My sister went to a Christian school that had rules and regulations about what they were to wear. It wont kill her. Never bothered my sister in the least.
As far as obeying the sister,if she is in charge while the mother is away there is nothing wrong with that. I did my best to protect my younger sister. But there came a day she had to make her own decisions. Big sisters tend to do that. If she feels her sister is too bossy she needs to try and talk that out with her parents. But we dont need to be giving Fran advice that would cause her to rebel against her mother or sister. If she feels she is being treated unfairly she needs to talk to both her parents. In the end,her parents have the authority. Rebelling only gets her in hot water.
I went to a christian high school, and we had to wear dresses or skirts. I didn't like it but I didn't obsess over it too much either. Parents are the same in any country. Most want to protect their kids, get them away from bad influences, get them on a good path. Other parents don't care at all. Fran is lucky that she has parents and a sister who do care.
It does matter if you can express your own thoughts about it to someone. She asked what we thought. Well this is what I think.
My son was once very sad because his dad was so nossy and hit him for nothing and he said: he doesn't love me. Dad is Indonesian and had an Indonesian upbringing which was real extreme child abuse. So he doesn't all of a sudden raise his kids the Dutch way: listen to what they have to say, not authorative. He didn't spank them, but he hit hard. They couldn't even talk during dinner time. Quiet. Fill your mouth.
So I said to my son who wanted to always be with me: Look, your dad is old, he's Indonesian, the way he was raised this is peanuts and he just thinks this is normal and he won't listen to me, so please just do what he says, so he doesn't hit you anymore. And he really loves you, although he has a weird way of showing it. No he hates me. No, I lied to him, he told me yesterday that he loves you very much. Well, problem solved. He was perfectly obedient, dad didn't hit anymore and he even wanted to stay a day more with him alone. You just need to understand where people are coming from. To the mother and posters here it's normal. To Fran and the friends she had and people from school who have a much looser upbringing it's too hard.
It doesn't mean they don't love you. They just don't know better.
My son was once very sad because his dad was so nossy and hit him for nothing and he said: he doesn't love me. Dad is Indonesian and had an Indonesian upbringing which was real extreme child abuse. So he doesn't all of a sudden raise his kids the Dutch way: listen to what they have to say, not authorative. He didn't spank them, but he hit hard. They couldn't even talk during dinner time. Quiet. Fill your mouth.
So I said to my son who wanted to always be with me: Look, your dad is old, he's Indonesian, the way he was raised this is peanuts and he just thinks this is normal and he won't listen to me, so please just do what he says, so he doesn't hit you anymore. And he really loves you, although he has a weird way of showing it. No he hates me. No, I lied to him, he told me yesterday that he loves you very much. Well, problem solved. He was perfectly obedient, dad didn't hit anymore and he even wanted to stay a day more with him alone. You just need to understand where people are coming from. To the mother and posters here it's normal. To Fran and the friends she had and people from school who have a much looser upbringing it's too hard.
It doesn't mean they don't love you. They just don't know better.
I just read that spanking isn't forbidden in England.
In Holland even giving a tiny hit is forbidden. One American preacher here had to go to court for it. Spanking is child abuse here. The dad of my kids used to give them a tiny hit now and then, but not soft, also not so bad that it got red. If I wanted to have the kids I could have told the authorities. They can take kids from their parents if the parents spank or put the parents under supervision.
https://www.bostonglobe.com/lifesty...ental-abuse/X44bY3WymbVSv9LSRrKLWL/story.html
In Holland even giving a tiny hit is forbidden. One American preacher here had to go to court for it. Spanking is child abuse here. The dad of my kids used to give them a tiny hit now and then, but not soft, also not so bad that it got red. If I wanted to have the kids I could have told the authorities. They can take kids from their parents if the parents spank or put the parents under supervision.
https://www.bostonglobe.com/lifesty...ental-abuse/X44bY3WymbVSv9LSRrKLWL/story.html
My Mum loves me and I love her.
Just because I think she is too strict, doesn't mean she is doing anything like bad?
And I don't like my uniform but most people in Britain wear one. My objection to it is how distinctive it is, and how I look out of school in it. In school we are all the same.
But you try standing in a supermarket in a green striped blazer and see how you like it. I hate standing out.
Just because I think she is too strict, doesn't mean she is doing anything like bad?
And I don't like my uniform but most people in Britain wear one. My objection to it is how distinctive it is, and how I look out of school in it. In school we are all the same.
But you try standing in a supermarket in a green striped blazer and see how you like it. I hate standing out.
Do you think Jesus cared about standing out when he was nailed to the cross, naked and bleeding, with welts and cuts all over his body from being whipped? He certainly stood out among the two thieves who were with him on crosses of their own. When you're out of school, you shouldn't be wearing your uniform anyways. Talk to mum about wearing clothes such as pants and a tshirt for after school dress.