To whoever is reading this: I just need help right now. For the last year I've battled anorexia, bulimia and cutting. My life has taken a downhill turn. I've staryed from god and have tried to go back .It just seems as though he's not there. I'm angry and i feel so alone. I don't even feel worthy of anyone's love let alone god's. I've done things I'm not proud of. But I don't care right now. I don't want to live anymore. If there is anyone out there that can help.....
hi Outcast4God,, well i can say im not worthy to talk about this because i know for a fact that i myself is thinking about suicide sometimes specially this past weeks,,
but long time ago,, i have decided not to do it,, since its a sin to kill our self,, because only God has the right to take away our breath. So i was just considering/thinking about it.. but honestly speaking, i have never tried to kill myself,, and honestly speaking as well, still it kills me inside.
So at hard times like this what i do is just pray, read God's Word.. and honestly speaking sometimes even though i have done those things,, i still feel the same, but the point is the reason why we feel like God is not listening to us or care for us is because we are focusing too much on our pain. We think that our problems and concerns are bigger than Him, but we must not forget that everything had happened, happens and will happen only according to His will and His will is for our good.
We might sometimes think that if it's for our good, then why do we feel all this pain and feels like it ruins our life... its because sometimes its just like a pencil that needs to be sharpen before it can write nicely again.
earlier this morning, i just cried and i really ask God that i want to die coz all the pain thats inside me is killing me slowly,,, and its so frustrating.
then i remember, i need not to kill myself, or do suicide,,, because if i do its just an act of showing God that we dont really trust Him. because if we do, then why should we give up.
also, earlier this morning i realized that i need not to kill, or do suicide, all i have to kill or put to an end is this feeling of loneliness and hopelessness. Its just a matter of choice to really ask God to do it while we really put our trust in Him in all our problems.
REMEMBER: The one that we should put to an end is the work of the enemy in our lives,, not our life because its a gift from God. It might be hard for us, but is so easy for God, we might think its impossible but we should always remember what God have told us
"With people this is impossible, but with God all things are possible." -Matthew 19:26
God bless you my sister in Christ!
you'll be in my prayers
