Hey guys,
So I've had feelings for this girl for a while and she has had the same for me we have hung out a bit shot our bows together and I am wondering if it is ok to ask her out. I mean I can't drive yet so I can't really go on a date with her and I'm thinking it could make things a little awkward at school. Do you think I should wait until ican drive before I ask her.
I am mainly asking this from a teens point of veiw not really biblical, but any comment is welcome.
Oh and btw I'm 15 so in 2 years I will have me N so I can drive by myself with someone else.
I'm not a teen. I used to be one, though. Looking back at dating and all that stuff before marriage, I think it's wisest not to date at all as a man until you are able, or close to being able, to support a wife.
In the old days, men would court women by going and visiting them at their homes or going to social events with them (with a chaperone) when the men were old enough to marry. The girls could be younger since they didn't have to be financially stable.
But maybe 100 years or so ago, or so I've read, the 'boyfriend' was invented. I read a little quote from the mid 1800's which mentioned a little boy having 'boy friends' which just meant male friends. Apparently, the modern concept of the boyfriend came from around 1900. Over time, it because socially acceptable for a girl to have a long-term boyfriend to satisfy some of the emotional needs that her husband was supposed to fill. Eventually, for a lot of women, boyfriends turned into partners that gave the kind of physical intimacy that God has chosen to be reserved only for marriage, and society has gotten to the point where a lot of people think of marriage as an unnecessary extra. There are people who go through a series of inappropriate relationships outside of marriage, sometimes living together if it gets 'serious.' Of course, this is not in line with God's word.
Prior to this, a suitor who was old enough to marry would go to a young woman's home where her parents were and visit. She was under the watchful eye of her parents, or maybe a chaperone if they went somewhere. She might have multiple suitors. If a proposal was made, her father would consider it. In the Bible, too, we see fathers giving their daughters away in marriage.
Most people who date at 15 don't marry their 15-year-old sweetheart. At your age, neither you nor she have any power to determine whether one of you will move away forever. If you start dating at that age, you can end up with a string of relationships that lead to breaking your heart over and over again, and the girls' hearts, too. I've read that too much physical affection, holding and kissing, releases bonding hormones in a young woman, hormones that would be great to be released if it were with the girl's husband. But if it's with a boyfriend and she breaks up, she gets heartbroken, and then she may not bond the same way with her husband when he does come along.
If you wait until you are ready for marriage to pursue a romantic type relationship with a woman, you can save yourself a lot of heartache. You can also keep yourself from being unnecessarily tempted into sin. Don't think you have to do what everyone else in school is doing, as if you are under pressure to have your first date, your first kiss, or other stuff that is clearly against God's word. If the whole culture is messed up, don't follow the whole culture. Whatever you decide, decide it based on God's word in a way that pleases God.
It's fine to have friendships. Paul told Timothy to treat the younger women as sisters. You can have good, respectable relationships with members of the opposite sex, but don't put yourself in the way of temptation.
but all I warn you about is that dating can be very hard to handle with an education at the same time. You are still quite young, so your mind is not as mature, however, if you find yourself falling in love with this girl, I think you should ask her out.