M
This deserves an answer, even though it's intended to allow none.
To get it out of the way, how most Christians act towards homosexuals is not loving. I look at it this way - if you see a blind man walking towards a cliff and do not yell out a warning, you are a monster. If you warn him, however, you are merely a decent neighbor. This is the absolute least that should be expected of a person and it is not especially loving, and is certainly not the supernatural love we're taught to expect from Christians.
Good, you warn people walking towards tragedy - you are not a sociopath! Congrats! Don't stop there.
So, how? Some examples. A friend of mine confessed to me that she was struggling with lesbian feelings and wanted me to pray with her. I told her, in confidence, that I too felt similar things. The next day at school, I learned she (who was straight and had been lying to me) had started a rumor. This was a small Christian school and it took less than a day to circulate. I lost most of my friends, my car was vandalized, etc.
As I've written elsewhere, I was beaten in church. Having spoken with my gay friends, most of them avoided physical abuse but none escaped unscathed. Almost universally, when we spoke up about it, we were ostracized. In my own case, I didn't bring it up because I knew I wouldn't have any advocates in the ministry team. The pastor himself had done some "faggy" impressions in the pulpit. When my parents did bring it up, not a thing happened to the guys who had done it, and I stopped attending church because I was afraid.
The funny thing is that, almost invariably, I'm told that these weren't true Christians and that I should look to Jesus, not man. But when I find the churches that do treat us well, I'm told that these aren't true Christians either. We often have the choice between A) a church that holds a strict line on homosexuality and exposes us to psychological if not simply physical abuse or B) a church that is open, affirming, and safe. Some of us, and I'm probably a good example, have some form of Stockholm syndrome and continue to make ourselves available to A, but any rational person eventually moves to B if not leaving church altogether.
In any case... that's how.
To get it out of the way, how most Christians act towards homosexuals is not loving. I look at it this way - if you see a blind man walking towards a cliff and do not yell out a warning, you are a monster. If you warn him, however, you are merely a decent neighbor. This is the absolute least that should be expected of a person and it is not especially loving, and is certainly not the supernatural love we're taught to expect from Christians.
Good, you warn people walking towards tragedy - you are not a sociopath! Congrats! Don't stop there.
So, how? Some examples. A friend of mine confessed to me that she was struggling with lesbian feelings and wanted me to pray with her. I told her, in confidence, that I too felt similar things. The next day at school, I learned she (who was straight and had been lying to me) had started a rumor. This was a small Christian school and it took less than a day to circulate. I lost most of my friends, my car was vandalized, etc.
As I've written elsewhere, I was beaten in church. Having spoken with my gay friends, most of them avoided physical abuse but none escaped unscathed. Almost universally, when we spoke up about it, we were ostracized. In my own case, I didn't bring it up because I knew I wouldn't have any advocates in the ministry team. The pastor himself had done some "faggy" impressions in the pulpit. When my parents did bring it up, not a thing happened to the guys who had done it, and I stopped attending church because I was afraid.
The funny thing is that, almost invariably, I'm told that these weren't true Christians and that I should look to Jesus, not man. But when I find the churches that do treat us well, I'm told that these aren't true Christians either. We often have the choice between A) a church that holds a strict line on homosexuality and exposes us to psychological if not simply physical abuse or B) a church that is open, affirming, and safe. Some of us, and I'm probably a good example, have some form of Stockholm syndrome and continue to make ourselves available to A, but any rational person eventually moves to B if not leaving church altogether.
In any case... that's how.
