I've got school again tomorow...like most kids do...and it is really stressing me out because now I have to go back to being alone and getting picked on and being in trouble all the time. I hate being at home but at least ive got my music and the Internet to keep me happy but schools just a complete battleground and I get the feeling im on the losing side. I don't have many friends at school because I hate a lot of people - I have reasons for them tho. My friends don't really hang out with me much because I'm to wierd and they don't understand what's going on in my head. The other people at school just sort of hate me to. Well they treat me like that anyway. I wish school was more help in life. Like maybe it doesng have to make me feel like I'm slowly dying on the inside every moment im there? Idk but I don't really help myself much...ive had 2 weeks of and ive done basically no homework but if I don't like the subject i don't see the point of spending my free time - the time which could be spent working on things that matter for me, things which make me feel normal and good - on something which will just bring back all the emptyness of school. I know i am probably over exaggerating it all but it's 12am and im tired and I do not want to go to school tomorow or today or whatever. Adults suck. School sucks. A lot of things suck in my life. Well I give it to life, at least it's consistent.
I can totally relate to the horrible feeling of starting a new semester. The time off (especially if it was fun spent with the family) makes having to go back that much worse.
Unfortunately, part of growing up is having to do more and more things we may not necessarily WANT to do because we realize we HAVE to do them. I wish I could tell you this gets easier as you get older, but it really becomes compounded the older we get and the more responsibilities we have. When you're a kid, you can spend time doing things that make you happy or things that are relaxing.
Your secular education is paramount to living a life out of bondage, allowing for more of the luxuries and commodities that entertain/relax you when you are an adult. I would encourage you to diligently do the homework in all your classes... even the classes you think are not useful or beneficial for you. When you go to college, they require you to do your basic education. It is important to have a balanced education as this makes you more versatile and an even bigger commodity to employers. I know it may seem pointless right now, but please just take my word for it!
About getting in trouble in school and kids picking on you: There isn't a one-solution-fixes-all that I could tell you. All I can say is do not fight fire with fire. Protect yourself by first trying to preemptively avoid scenarios where you will be tempted to do things you ought not to do. I don't know what level of being picked on you are going through... unfortunately, most everyone has gone through some form of bullying. If you would ever like to talk about the bullying, feel free to message me anytime.
I just wanted to leave this scripture:
Ephesians 4:14-15
[SUP]14 [/SUP]
Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of people in their deceitful scheming. [SUP]15 [/SUP]
Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ.
