SO, AM I ABNORMAL???!!!

[cris_danao]

Hi.. i just wanna share an excerpt from the story of my life.
Here it is:
When i was young, i have so many crushes and am imagining that someday i will enter a church with a guy (the one who is really for me)
When I became a Christian and accepted Him in my life, I become a serious person and I no longer easily fall to someone even when he is handsome/kind/or whatever.
All i wanted is a man who is really a Christian and a musician (because i am also in music ministry)

Then, i knew a lot of people who are really good in music including CHristians and non-christians.
i have had suitors and all of them are my crushes, but if they'll come near me i will no longer have the intense feeling lke what i felt b4 they court me... feelings will suddenly gone.. thats the reason why i never had a boyfriend yet.

one day i woke up and my SUPER CRUSH started to come close to me everyday. He is also a Christian and a musician. He is a man with a great testimony and a great personality.
Because im aware that my fried has a crush on him, and he have a previous crush also to her. so i tried to go away from him. Even though it hurts because i love him so much, still i cant be a cause to hurt my friend. So i push him away from me trying to bring him back to my friend..

I talked to him, gave some advices (but not specifically pertaining to the situation) and i disappear for some weeks.

After a months (of lesser) i just knew that they are back to their relationship. And my friend was able to knew all that had happened. So she always telling me when they go out for date, their moments and their hugs etc............

that really hurts, i realized that he just used me to let my friend realized what she let go of... I dont know if what i have realized is true or just a part of my imagination...

Now, im alright, i dont feel any intense feeling about him anymore..
Now, they are alright, they are in pledge for future more than just bf/gf...
Me again? Im alright i hve another suitor, but i dont feel any love for them (just for friends and nothing more to expect)
Now? I dont have any crushes or admiration for others, i become numb,, though i have moved on, the consequence is that i cant feel that i hve feelings for anyone...
I feel so abnormal........ im emotionless ...and that's what make me worried about my self...

 

[AnandaHya]

We will pray that God guides you. remember His love

YouTube - God's love letter

 

[xJoe]

Listen. I can say been there done that.
WE CAN'T CONTROL OUR EMOTIONS! If we see someone interesting we can't control if we end up liking them, thats impossible. But we can control the other things. How much we talk to them, how personal we get with them and most of all how much we think of them. If you think and dwell on someone then you will fall for them. This has to do with mental purity. If you keep someone out of your mind and such you will be less likely to develop feelings. But the more you hold on and think of them the more you will develop feelings. Right now you feel down and yes it feels like its ever =P but its not. Give it time. Protect your mind and heart and you will be set. you can message me if you have any questions.
God bless!

 

[Thomas60]

Wait, so does this mean we have to distance ourselves as far as possible with our ex's social networks because to not do so is to make them see what they're missing? (this is coming from someone who's still friends with them and in similar socio-network).
Of course I understand people do do this however.

I often get stereotyped as robotic, emotionless by my acquaintences; as opposed to friends. Is it abnormal to think our feelings are numb? no. It's probably a different thing to say, 'because I said i've been in a similar situation, therefore its believable' lol. I think Joe is on the right direction, your numb because you keep putting your mind on things you don't feel emotionally invested in... the trick is to find things you agree with, rank them in importance, then pursue them, find a network that also supports it, then find your emotionally invested... I'm a cold logical guy

 

[xXxSharonxXx]

Oh my goodness, I can't tell you how exact your situation matches up to one I had a while back. You say you feel emotionless? Well thats completely normal. For me it was a matter of trust. Once you lose trust in a man, you feel that no one else can live up to it anymore. Well its not exactly just trust, but someone hurt you and you're scared it will happen again. This is just from my experience with this issue, I dont know if it's the same for you. I did feel like I couldn't love anyone anymore. I felt that it was impossible and it did in a sense make me feel miserable. Before that, I used to be like, looking at a cute guy and then start liking him. Weird, I know, lol All I can say is it will go away and will not last forever. You will have your emotions back. It might take a while, but be patient and ask God for strength. He will bring you the right man at the right time and when that time comes, everything will fall into place. May I ask when this happened?

God Bless

 

[cris_danao]

@xJoey

WE CAN'T CONTROL OUR EMOTIONS!
This has to do with mental purity. If you keep someone out of your mind and such you will be less likely to develop feelings. But the more you hold on and think of them the more you will develop feelings.

So do you mean that i will only develop feeling again only if i will think of someone?
I agree alot but that statement made me think of so many things including positive and negative ideas...
the negative one of these is that
What if i will try to think of someone every time for the sake that i will develop love for him (because i dont actually love him),
its becoming more of faking myself, forcing myself, but...

ahhhmm sorry if i chose the negative one
(i chose it because want to understand you clearly and i want to explore and expand that thought so that i will have no doubt in trusting those words)
ty


@Thomas60

he trick is to find things you agree with, rank them in importance, then pursue them, find a NETW)RK that also supports it, then find your emotionally invested... I'm a cold logical guy

So you mean similarities.. My similarities with someone will more likely help me develop feeling to him (network that also supports it
so what i need to do is just find a man who has a similar likes and dislikes as i do... not smart idea because i never thought of that but a logical instinct because i think that will really help,, thanks

@xXxSharonxXx

Oh my goodness, I can't tell you how exact your situation matches up to one I had a while back. You say you feel emotionless? Well thats completely normal.

I feel less abnormal
now Unable,, unable to retrieve my emotions back...

you're scared it will happen again

hard to say,, but maybe one factor is this

I used to be like, looking at a cute guy and then start liking him. Weird, I know, lol

weird but That's what everyone does including me (before, because not anymore - i just dont know)
Will start liking someone on the first second that we saw a cute guy, but after turning back our head from 360 degree angle,, it will gone, only attraction not love. Thats what i dont believe in LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT.. Because @ first sight, it is only an attraction that will more likely to dictate our feelings that i like him/her and after smetimes it will determine if i dont-lke/love him or her if we will have the chance to know them... This is the practice of everyone but exclude me

 

[xXxSharonxXx]

I feel less abnormal
now Unable,, unable to retrieve my emotions back...

I totally know what you mean. You will get them back, it might take time though like I said. Things like this won't last forever! I'll pray for you, I hope you feel better about all this soon.

hard to say,, but maybe one factor is this

Well, I'm not sure if it's the same for you though. It could be, because sometimes I feel something and don't even know it till someone tells me and I think about it for a while

weird but That's what everyone does including me (before, because not anymore - i just dont know)
Will start liking someone on the first second that we saw a cute guy, but after turning back our head from 360 degree angle,, it will gone, only attraction not love. Thats what i dont believe in LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT.. Because @ first sight, it is only an attraction that will more likely to dictate our feelings that i like him/her and after smetimes it will determine if i dont-lke/love him or her if we will have the chance to know them... This is the practice of everyone but exclude me

Yes, thats so true! I used to think love at first sight exists... But its mostly lust if you dont even know the person and just start liking them when you see their face. Honestly, I find it better to not feel anything towards guys till it's really time and you're ready to get married. It keeps you away from making mistakes that could hurt you in the long-run

 

[xJoe]

Cris, emotions are stupid. Why do women stay with men who beat them day and night? Why do men put up with women who cheat on them on a daily basis? Why do people accept abuse so willingly?
Emotions have no thought or logic behind him a lot of times, just think of those examples and tell me WHY someone would stay? There's no reason right? So why do they? They attached there self to that person. I'm not saying the more closer you get to someone you will ALWAYS develop feelings but most of the time you will.
now for your question, you can fake yourself into love. What about if you feel in love with someone and then found out they lied about a lot of things? It happened to me and i still was in love. In the start of the relationship I barely liked her, then i spent more and more time with her and then eventually emotions started to form. Then I found out she was a liar and I was STILL liking her, why? Emotions are stupid.
Your thought life will either make you a better or worse person. You can either dwell on good things making you a positive person or dwell on negative things making you a negative person. Dwell on negative people you will get into negative relationships.
It may seem a bit complicated but does it make sense?

 

[Jimmy47]

Your definently not abnormal. People our age always go through stuff like this (including me) and the best thing you can do is just keep moving forward with your head held high!

 

[cris_danao]

thanks for your advises bros and sisters in Christ, ill put them into my mind and heart.. You really help me.. thank you so much
God bless you all

 

[zeroturbulence]

At your age it is good to stay away from guys you really like. Its much harder if you start a relationship because of the temptations that come with it.

 

[xJoe]

90% of my problems from being a teen is from relationships with girls