Even though I can't help you with the emotional hurts of your past, I can reassure you that Jesus does exist, and if you're willing to listen with an open mind, you will agree.
Even though a lot of people like to say Jesus didn't exist, the fact of the matter is that they're wrong. There are several ancient historians who talk about Jesus being a real person. Such names include Josephus, Pliny the Younger, and Cornelius Tacitus. They and other speak of a man named Jesus who was called Christ, executed under the eye of Pontius Pilate during the reign of Emperor Tiberius, and was worshiped by his believers as a deity. The Jewish writing, the Talmud, acknowledges that Jesus's tomb was later found empty! And none of these sources get their information from the Bible. You can rest assured that Jesus was a real person.
Now one might argue with me about whether or not the miracles of the New Testament happened. Or one may debate the parables of Jesus with me until they're blue in the face. But one outstanding fact remains: the explanation for why Jesus's tomb can only be best explained by a resurrection. The prominent theory posed by skeptics is that Jesus's body was stolen. For an explanation for why this fails, read
this page. Other theories are out there too: a hidden twin, hallucinations, some even go so far as to claim Jesus was alien!
Related, consider this. Despite what many will say, the New Testament has remained largely unchanged over the past 2000 years. How do we know? We have some 5,000+ manuscripts, including fragments, of the NT dating between AD 70 and AD 120. Their content agree over 99% of the time! Paul, a former Pharisee who had a divine experience with Jesus, ended up writing most of the epistles of the NT. In 1 Corinthians 15:3-8, he wrote: "For what I received I passed on to you as of first importance: that Christ died for our sins according to the Scriptures, that he was buried, that he was raised on the third day according to the Scriptures, and that he appeared to Peter,b and then to the Twelve. After that, he appeared to more than five hundred of the brothers at the same time, most of whom are still living, though some have fallen asleep. Then he appeared to James, then to all the apostles, and last of all he appeared to me also, as to one abnormally born."
As the Jews might say, writing this takes some chutzpah. In addition to the detailed locations laid out in books like Luke, the apostle here is essentially making it possible for people to verify whether he's talkin' nonsense or not. He just said that over 500 people had seen a post-resurrected Jesus. Isn't it weird that through all of this, nobody who claimed to see Jesus ever backed out of the faith? They never denied him, to the best of our knowledge. Indeed, they went through all sorts of horrid, life-long tortures often culminating in martyrdom. That's not something people do if they don't know for a fact their belief is true. These people saw a post-resurrected Jesus, that's the best conclusion we got.
So what does that mean for us? That means that Jesus was a real person who taught, died, and rose from the dead. His rising from the dead implies he was the Son of God. Which naturally implies God exists, and that for all that's happened to you over the years, he's ready and willing to receive you back to him if you will let him. God's a gentleman, and won't go where he's not wanted. It's your choice to accept him... and if I may offer a hint, it's a good idea to accept him.
Just a little something for you to muse upon. If you got any questions, feel free to shoot them at us.
