Well, seeing as how this is April, you've probably already made your decision. However, just in case, why? Honestly, why? Once you're gone, that's it. Tell me, is your problem really worth dieing over, honestly? There was a time when I contemplated such things, but when I think about it now, I just think to myself, why? What was the point of wanting to die? I mean it's not like others haven't had it worse, and it's not like things will never change, and it's not like I wouldn't want to live even if I had to endure being a mistreated slave. At least if I were a slave, I would still be experiencing life and learning whatever. If I died, that would be it for me, no more, no more learning about anything, no more seeing what's happening, no more influencing anybody, ever.
Really, I'd like to live over 1,000 years if I could. I wish we still lived as long as we did before the flood. I mean, can you imagine how much you'd learn, how much wisdom you'd accumulate if you could live for centuries or even a millennium? You'd have your sorrows, your happinesses, your love, your regrets, all accumulating into all that you've learned. I mean that would be expectacular. Of course, we only live for like 70 to 90 years, which is still a lot, but it's not ancient. I would want to live as long as would make me ancient. When I watch anime, I envy those cartoon characters that say they've lived for 500+ years and wonder what it would be like to live that long.
I mean you could explore the woods, you could learn science, you could learn history, you could do so much in that much time. You'd know so much.
Well, anyway, apart from fantasy, even in our minor expanse of time living, life is a gift, even to those who suffer. I mean, when you live you can learn and teach others what you've learned. You may very well be the reason that someone one day survives or comes to God. You don't want to take that away for temporary issues that are going on today. It may be a boring life, but only if you let it be. You can enjoy yourself. Go hiking or something and relax in peaceful solitude with the creatures. That always helps me to relax and decompress from all the day's stressers, when I can find a such a place, that is.
I'm a bit of a hermit. I usually relax by myself most of the time. Maybe you just need alone time to just forget and clear your mind. Maybe talking to God in these alone times can help. I mean if you can talk to your dog or cat, why not God right? I usually talk to God every single day, but not as a Bible study time or prayer, I just talk to Him and tell Him whatever is on my mind. Sometimes he talks back to me . . . Just kidding. I've never had the benefit of actually hearing God speak to me. However, I know He hears me because, well, because He's God. I also know mostly because of circumstantial things. I ask God about something that I am wondering about, and actually most of the time, I'll come across some explanation or realize one myself. Maybe it's not God, maybe it's just me, but when I haven't really asked God about it, I find the answer doesn't come to me very quickly. I mean I've had a question for years that I never really thought to ask God about, and that question rang around in my mind for years sometimes. Of course sometimes I did ask God, and the question still rang around for years.
Anyhow, I've also noticed other things. I may ask for a friend and find one, usually temporary as I'm a bit of loner type, not well adept in socializing. Sometimes, I'll just tell God what I'm thinking, almost like an imaginary friend, sort of, but I regard God as being real, thus when I speak to Him, good or bad, I know He hears and understands, and knows exactly what I mean. After all, He did create the heavens and earth, and knows the beginning from the end, and is the beginning and the end of all. What was there before the universe, before light, before dark, before even existence itself what was? God was, God is. This is the type of being that I'm talking to, one that is not subject to existence, but is the authority that gives existence the possibility to even exist. Thus, I know He understands me and knows what I'm saying, thinking, feeling.
God won't take away your choice. You can set c-4 or stomp on a bug or kiss a baby, and God will not stop your choice to do so. God has given us this world to live as we see fit, and we're supposed to put God first in all we do while living as we see fit. He won't stop us from doing good, nor will He stop us from doing bad. He will, however, be there for us and will guide our lives if we will seek His guidance and revere His instruction. With God, you can live through any trouble, any suffering, and still be satisfied in life and in the knowledge that you are doing, at least something good, that your life will at least mean something to somebody that you may never even meet. And when the time finally comes that you do die either peacefully or in suffering, you will know that that will be all and then God will bring you to be with Him for the rest of eternity where we will do many many wonderful things with God that we cannot even begin to fathom. God says that it has not entered into the hearts or minds of anyone all that God has prepared for those that love Him. We may fathom some of it, but we cannot fathom all of it. This is the very same God that created all that we are, and that we enjoy, and that we love on this earth was created by God. That means that in a world where sin is no longer an issue, the possibilities are completely endless. Imagine the most wonderful thing you could do, and then imagine how the begining and end of all, the authority behind existence itself, the designer of all that exists would call you their child and what would such a being not grant you? Honestly, what? Sin is no longer an issue so there is no reason to withhold anything as there is on this earth.
Honestly, I want to design the most splendid video game ever. I want to create my own little planet with inhabitants and teach them live and discover their world and to love God. I would rule over them like a god on mount Olympus, but without all of the selfishness associated with Greek Gods, since then sin would not exist and all I did and ruled over I would do for the glory of God. I mean, I don't know that I could actually do all that in heaven, but I don't see why I wouldn't be able to do that. Because honestly, if you think about it, we were meant to rule over this universe as gods. I don't mean gods to be worshiped, I mean gods as in we have complete dominion and, really, supernatural understanding to learn how and to actually manipulate our world and eventually our universe to whatever means we deem fit. If that's not a definition of a god and supernatural understanding, I don't know what is. I mean any creature on this earth, what we do and how we manipulate their little heaven of ours is completely supernatural. No Ape is ever going to realize the correlation of light and the sun, and much less are they ever going to comprehend how they might use to principles to their advantage as we have done so often and so easily over the course of human existence.
This is why I want to live, so that I can learn. This is why I want to go to heaven, because the possibilities of what I will be able to do as a child of the being who is not subject to existence and is the beginning and end of all is really literally endless. It's like any fantasy anyone can come up with, you know as right by God, could very well be very possible. And who knows all that we'll learn, all that we'll do. Heaven is not the end of our journey, it's the end of our trial. This time we have now on this earth is our purgatory. We make our decision here and now. This is our time of trial, a brief short period of time where make our decision, suffer to sake of Christ if we are called to do so so that others might also be saved, and then, when we die, our time begins. The human saga, this life is only one piece, a very important piece because it is here where you will decide on your eternity, and then the next piece comes after this piece is finished.
Trust me, you want to live, even if it's only for the sake of those that might accept Christ because you were around, and you can never know who was influenced by you in ways you will not understand until you get to heaven and God points it out.
