what should i do?

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Cj11111111112

Guest
#1
#1
i met an amazing girl of God named brianna in sept 2011, may-june 2012 i made a facebook account and friended her saying i was my cousin that she knew. she believed it and we talked almost everyday. i can honestly say i dont remember almost anything we talked about, ive regretted it ever since. in june i deactivated it and in jan 2013 when i found out i could completely delete it for good i did(the account has been deleted since valentines day 2013) since i deactivated it in june i wanted to let her know im sorry and im not going to do it again, and since oct 2012 i havent gone to sleep til after 12 am every night thinking about it. i wonder will she hate me? will she forgive me ?will she never want to talk to me again?, the biggest reasons i did it were 1) because i liked her since the day in sept 2011 i met her, i saw the love of God, the gratefulness in the gift of singing hes given her and how she uses it to praise him, and just her natural beauty, and i just wanted to talk to her anyway i could....my thoughts were corrupted from the month before which is the second reason 2) from easter sunday to the first week of may i was in a "relationship" with a girl named amanda i had met at my online school. the "relationship" was dumb it was full of worldly desires and conforming to the world to make her happy, but it never did. she "broke up" with me five times in the relationship and would "forgive me" and "take me back" when all i did was try to put God first in my life and reply five minutes late to a text cuz i was in church and she knew where i was. she broke up with her bf easter sun and "got with" me......and the day i broke up with her she had a new guy she was saying 'i love you" to that night. two days later i make the account and do that whole thing. so what im wondering is should i even bother telling brianna? we've been getting closer but i dont want to let it get further and then have this lingering in my mind. ive beeen praying about it wondering if i should tell her and i think she'd appreciate the truth i was just wanting some other opinions or suggestions on what else i could do. i think she might like me but i also think that this could take away any feelings she might have
 
AAAPlus

AAAPlus

Senior Member
#2
Aug 2, 2011
601
10
18
#2
You've been through a lot of junk and right now you just need to take it easy and not worry about relationships. You're living under the wrong idea that you can know someone after meeting them once. It takes a lot more than a day to know enough about someone to know if you can have a relationship with them, so if you fell for her after day one, it's a huge red flag. She also seems to bring out the worst in you; you spent several months pretending to be someone else just to talk to her. That's bad. Trust me...you're going to meet a lot of girls more interesting than her. It's best to just let it go and move on with your life.

On top of that, pray more and read your Bible more. Trust me.
 
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Lucy68

Senior Member
#3
Jan 21, 2011
2,538
22
0
#3
Yes, you're being strongly convicted of this sin and you'll be miserable until you do. Yes, you run the risk of her being angry BUT after she calms down she may be impressed with your honesty and obvious regret. Being truthful may not always get you what you want, but it will get you right with God and that's what really matters.
 
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hattiebod

Guest
#4
#4
We can thank God, you are hearing Him, knowing this is not right in His eyes and you are being convicted of this. Try making 'real' relationships, out in the light, not online, where you can pretend in being someone you are not. Get real with God, then you can be all He wants you to be. Deceit, pretense, lies, manipulation.....these are not of God. Be the man God wants you to be...and you can only do this by being under his authority, not driven by your own desires. He will bless you. If we love Him, we will want to be obedient to Him. God Bless you, loved son of the most High God. <><
 
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matt7777777

Banned
#5
Mar 29, 2013
353
4
0
#5
You decintly need to tell her man its the right thing to do she may hate you but if she is really the christian women you say shell forgive you shr may nt want to be in a relationship with you but shed forgive you.
 
C

Cj11111111112

Guest
#6
#6
honestly im not worried about relationships right now i was early last year but now im really trying to focus on my school work. im not sure what you mean by "knowing someone after you meet them once" because i've known Brianna since sept 2011 i know her in REAL life we go to the same church and ive hung out with her since sept 2011 basically every wed and friday night with the occasional sunday mornings. so ive know her for about a year and a half, and ive gained a friendship with her like none other ive ever had. i didnt fall for her at day one i was intrigued at day one i saw her love for God radiating off of her she loved God and wasnt afraid to show it. and through me seeing that i went to church more first at the hopes of just hanging out with her but as i went more i paid attention more and since ive met her ive gained a stronger relationship with God than i ever had before,(i dont see how thats bad) now of course i fallen pretty bad with these other things but through it ive grown. i didnt spend several months pretending, i spent one may-june 2012 i deactivated the account and only reopened it to fully delete it January 31 2013 and it was completely gone on valentines day 2013. im not sure which girl your talking about that isnt interesting but Brianna is unlike any other girl ive met, honestly im not the best looking guy in the world so someone that looks and is like how i thought she'd be wouldve never said more than hi to me we've grown in our friendship and i dont want to lose it over this mistake i made. i honestly wouldve never done it if id have been thinking straight but i made a spur of the moment decision and got caught up in it, only after i started reading and hearing more of the word were my eyes opened to the fact that this pretending wasnt good and it wasnt benefiting me, i deactivated the account and didnt go back to it. thanks for the other advice and i will be praying and reading more
 
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Cj11111111112

Guest
#7
#7
Lucy68 said:
Yes, you're being strongly convicted of this sin and you'll be miserable until you do. Yes, you run the risk of her being angry BUT after she calms down she may be impressed with your honesty and obvious regret. Being truthful may not always get you what you want, but it will get you right with God and that's what really matters.
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i think i should tell her too honestly almost everything you said sound right on the spot to help so thanks and knowing what i do from the year and a half ive known her she isnt easily angered she is one of the nicest girls you'll ever meet, im sure she wont be thrilled but anger it just doesnt sound like her i really believe that God has been telling me to tell her but also that he has an appointed time for me and i just havent felt that time yet but i know he has also said for me not to let it get to a year in june will be that year so the time is coming. thanks for the advice it was helpful
 
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Cj11111111112

Guest
#8
#8
hattiebod said:
We can thank God, you are hearing Him, knowing this is not right in His eyes and you are being convicted of this. Try making 'real' relationships, out in the light, not online, where you can pretend in being someone you are not. Get real with God, then you can be all He wants you to be. Deceit, pretense, lies, manipulation.....these are not of God. Be the man God wants you to be...and you can only do this by being under his authority, not driven by your own desires. He will bless you. If we love Him, we will want to be obedient to Him. God Bless you, loved son of the most High God. <><
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like ive said now a couple times the whole pretend online thing is behind me and i really dont think i could let myself do it again. you are right it was not of God and if i could redo it i would kick my butt before i let myself do that again. thank you for what you said ive been strugling with giving all of myself up to God so prayers in that area are appreciated.
 
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Cj11111111112

Guest
#9
#9
matt7777777 said:
You decintly need to tell her man its the right thing to do she may hate you but if she is really the christian women you say shell forgive you shr may nt want to be in a relationship with you but shed forgive you.
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your right and she is a very strong christian woman and even i know she doesnt like to hold grudges the biggest thing for me is getting over my fear, i can barely talk to her as a friend, normally, how can i tell her all of this other stuff so prayer in that area would be great thanks for the advice
 
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ckaye

Guest
#10
#10
does your cousin who you pretended to be know that you did this also? i mean a lie will eventually be caught up and all chances of a real relationship can unravel in a second if you are basing it on lies... I can say from personal experience being lied to about character of someone you think you know hurts worse than the truth and can cause deep rifts even between a christian friendship/ relationship. If you are honest and sit down and tell her what and why and how embarrassed you are about the whole situation and your true feelings you have the chance to mend a brokeness that can be caused through deceit... it is ok to make mistakes the holy spirit convicting you should lead you to make your choice follow his leading or wait till it all blows up or fades away.. You already know the answer in your heart. YES pray! yes READ , but you also must ACT. letting sins fester in your life cause room for the enemy to get a bigger foothold.... when Christ has already conquered we know .. So rest in him his Grace and LOVE first above any other relationship , keep his and your relationship priority and he will lead the way
 
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Cj11111111112

Guest
#11
#11
ckaye said:
does your cousin who you pretended to be know that you did this also? i mean a lie will eventually be caught up and all chances of a real relationship can unravel in a second if you are basing it on lies... I can say from personal experience being lied to about character of someone you think you know hurts worse than the truth and can cause deep rifts even between a christian friendship/ relationship. If you are honest and sit down and tell her what and why and how embarrassed you are about the whole situation and your true feelings you have the chance to mend a brokeness that can be caused through deceit... it is ok to make mistakes the holy spirit convicting you should lead you to make your choice follow his leading or wait till it all blows up or fades away.. You already know the answer in your heart. YES pray! yes READ , but you also must ACT. letting sins fester in your life cause room for the enemy to get a bigger foothold.... when Christ has already conquered we know .. So rest in him his Grace and LOVE first above any other relationship , keep his and your relationship priority and he will lead the way
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the whole "cousin" thing was based on two real cousins i have, the first name of one and the story of another. so i named the "cousin" (jennifer garcia) i have a cousin from san jose with that name but brianna doesnt know her, the other part was based off my cousin serissa who i met in 2009 after a funeral for her grandpa, who brianna also doesnt know. so 2009 happened to be the year brianna switched from regular to home school. (friends i knew in real life couldnt remember 8th grade, 2009 was 7th for me and brianna, so i figured the things that i couldnt say because i wasnt there wouldnt matter because not everyone could remember that far.) the story i gave her was we knew each other in 7th grade (somehow brianna was friends with a girl i knew from church in seventh grade so i used that.) the whole idea of jennifer garcia was fake it was never a real person and not a real name. like i said this was a spur of the moment decision. which i did mainly because i had just seen brianna Wednesday morning, wednesday night for church, thurs morning, friday night, and sunday morning. Wed and Thurs morning i was supposed to go see amanda (the girl i was in a "relatioship" with from online school.) it ended up that the testing site was moved to a couple blocks from my house instead of an hour away and plans were changed not only did i not see amanda but i saw brianna five times that week. (that was also the fifth time amanda claimed to be DONE and cussed me out) i realized monday after seeing brianna was one i was only in this "relatioship" affection, and fleshly desires not one part of it was glorifying to God.............. so to answer your question no my cousins dont know that i used their story and brianna doesnt know that it was all fake yet, i know that deceit can ruin things thats what instills fear in me everytime i think about just telling the truth. i saw it happen with a long time friend of my mom and only after i did the whole thing did i remember about it. i am hoping to tell her A.S.A.P. but lately i havent been able to see her. i realize that God puts people in our lives for a reason and he's already used her to bring me closer to him, i know that i can trust in him that i can tell her the truth because it is right and that no matter the outcome God has a plan. thankyou for what you said
 
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Lucy68

Senior Member
#12
Jan 21, 2011
2,538
22
0
#12
Please let us know how things turn out for you :)
 
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ckaye

Guest
#13
#13
thought i would check in on you and see how everything is going... :) God bless you!
 
K

kittycat7

Guest
#14
#14
Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth.
 
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