why?

[achee]

My friends tease me a lot, insult me in the use of jokes. Although they do say they're only joking, to me, the approach doesn't seem like a joke at all. They treat me like someone lower than them, and it hurts a lot. Of course, since i don't want to act childish by getting mad easily, i try my best to smile at what they say although i really want to be mad. I got mad once, but they told i was no fun, that i always such a boring person. That they were only joking, and that if it wasn't really true, then i shouldn't get angry. So yeah, i turned out to be someone who hardened her heart from their daily ridicule.
i try my best not to get mad, i calm myself down and just keep my mouth shut when i want to explode. It's not easy acting like i'm having fun, acting like there words doesn't hurt.
So i tried doing the same to them. I retaliated in the least worst manner, since i hate hurting others although they've hurt me. I wanted to get back at them at what they did to me, but i never could. And when i succeed doing so, they get mad at me. THEY GET MAD. AT ME. BECAUSE I INSULTED THEM.
Why?! don't i have the right to give back what they gave to me?
Aren't they childish as well?
it's irritating. It's really irritating that they think so highly of themselves and think so lowly of me when we're just the same.

And the thing that really depresses me right now is that my cousin...the number 1 person who insults me most...i got mad at her because of making me wait for a long time. it was the only time i got mad, and to think i wasn't even entirely that mad, i just wasn't able to meet her with a smile. Come on, who could smile when you've waited for two freaking hours and you still have loads of works to do?!
And now, she's mad and she's not talking to me although i'm trying to make conversations.
Why can they be mad when i can't?
Why is it so easy for them to let go of me when i'm even having a hard time staying mad at them for long?
T.T i'm sorry. I'm just really frustrated right now and i just want to let out.

 

[JustAnotherUser]

If they use you to the extent of their own entertainment like that, then are they really friends to begin with? Especially if they do it while with other people, that should indicate what type of people they are and that they are not the people who will be there for you in a healthy way, let alone be there for you forever. It's called manipulation and maybe even abuse (verbal). I've dealt with this for a long time and tried not to think much of it, only it led me to tears and hurt that was never worth it if I stood up for myself.

It can go one or two ways. You can tell them that you have had enough and that the 'jokes' were never funny to begin with, or drop them and gain better friends who will not ridicule you in order to spark a conversation and make themselves feel better. The longer you let it pass and have them think that it's okay to do such things, the longer and greater that it's going to hurt you as well as losing your own respect as to what you deserve for when socializing with others. The whole 'they're the only friends I have' is not going to defeat your odds on that. Sometimes it is better to stand alone, but I wouldn't advise you to continue that way if you're given other opportunities since isolation could lead one into a depressed state.

 

[Ugly]

Your friends are not friends at all. They're jerks and bullies. Real friends don't ridicule and guilt you for sharing how you feel and then ignore your complaints. They listen and care about you enough to change.
You gave them consequences to their actions, and rather than owning up to their behavior they try to make you wrong for having feelings. This is abusive behavior. Your best chance is probably to find new friends. People who behave like this can change, but not most. And the ones who do care and are capable of change will come to you asking where you've been. When they realize how much you've been hurt they won't mock you, but stand by you. The rest you don't need in your life.
If you can't get away from family right now, i understand. But you also don't have to see them more than is required.
It might suck to have to be friendless for a while. But that will pass as you make new friends. But the cruel behavior your current 'friends' are giving you can last years.

 

[changedbychrist]

I'm with the other two who commented here: sounds like you really need to get some new friends! They're only bringing you down.

 

[blue_ladybug]

​I also agree with the other posters here. These bullies are not your friends. Drop them like a hot potato and find some REAL friends.

 

[SoulWeaver]

Why would you hang out with people who are being torturing and bawdy towards you Sis? I agree with others here, find better and more loving company that care about how you feel. If you cant choose your family members, you CAN (and should) choose your friends (Proverbs 22:24-25). These bad people will rub off on you with time, at least by hurting you and causing you bitter feelings, which makes one so much more vulnerable spiritually.

Regarding your cousin, if you really want this to change, dont wait for her. It really is simple. And she will soon be cured of doing it - to you. Next time when she agrees to meet you at 5 pm, you say okay. Then if she is late, go out somewhere or start doing other stuff! "I am so sorry - but I had to go!" (If you are NOT feeling sorry, just say "I really had to go" though ) When she finally appears late, say that you have a lot to do, but can sit with her really shortly, if she wants to. That way you are still kind to her, yet not letting her disrespect you.
Maybe there is also a misunderstanding. She got from you that she can treat you this way because you always allowed it, then you show she cant with body language, and she is offended now. You are as guilty as her, because you've been enabling her - you were afraid to be blunt and it is hard to carry around so many frustrations in your heart. That stuff adds up. It's good you opened up.
If you do everything so people would not get angry with you and you achieve some peace with people, but do not have peace within you... Please do reclaim that peace. Instead of fear which is getting noone nowhere. <3

 

[Jewel628]

Re: why?
If they use you to the extent of their own
entertainment like that , then are they really
friends to begin with ? Especially if they do it
while with other people , that should indicate
what type of people they are and that they
are not the people who will be there for you
in a healthy way, let alone be there for you
forever . It ' s called manipulation and maybe
even abuse (verbal ). I' ve dealt with this for a
long time and tried not to think much of it ,
only it led me to tears and hurt that was
never worth it if I stood up for myself.
It can go one or two ways . You can tell them
that you have had enough and that the 'jokes'
were never funny to begin with, or drop them
and gain better friends who will not ridicule
you in order to spark a conversation and
make themselves feel better . The longer you
let it pass and have them think that it ' s okay
to do such things , the longer and greater that
it' s going to hurt you as well as losing your
own respect as to what you deserve for when
socializing with others . The whole 'they 're the
only friends I have' is not going to defeat
your odds on that. Sometimes it is better to
stand alone, but I wouldn 't advise you to
continue that way if you're given other
opportunities since isolation could lead one
into a depressed state .
True.

 

[pwrnJC]

I would ponder what GOD has in store for you...because you have certain spiritual gifts that need to be utilized, such as helps, discernment, healing, interpretation,knowledge, preaching, exortation, tongues, and more....if you are busy doing that...you will not have time to worry over how others treat you. New people who are more inspiring to you will cross your pathway

 

[stabbo]

My friends tease me a lot, insult me in the use of jokes. Although they do say they're only joking, to me, the approach doesn't seem like a joke at all. They treat me like someone lower than them, and it hurts a lot. Of course, since i don't want to act childish by getting mad easily, i try my best to smile at what they say although i really want to be mad. I got mad once, but they told i was no fun, that i always such a boring person. That they were only joking, and that if it wasn't really true, then i shouldn't get angry. So yeah, i turned out to be someone who hardened her heart from their daily ridicule.
i try my best not to get mad, i calm myself down and just keep my mouth shut when i want to explode. It's not easy acting like i'm having fun, acting like there words doesn't hurt.
So i tried doing the same to them. I retaliated in the least worst manner, since i hate hurting others although they've hurt me. I wanted to get back at them at what they did to me, but i never could. And when i succeed doing so, they get mad at me. THEY GET MAD. AT ME. BECAUSE I INSULTED THEM.
Why?! don't i have the right to give back what they gave to me?
Aren't they childish as well?
it's irritating. It's really irritating that they think so highly of themselves and think so lowly of me when we're just the same.

And the thing that really depresses me right now is that my cousin...the number 1 person who insults me most...i got mad at her because of making me wait for a long time. it was the only time i got mad, and to think i wasn't even entirely that mad, i just wasn't able to meet her with a smile. Come on, who could smile when you've waited for two freaking hours and you still have loads of works to do?!
And now, she's mad and she's not talking to me although i'm trying to make conversations.
Why can they be mad when i can't?
Why is it so easy for them to let go of me when i'm even having a hard time staying mad at them for long?
T.T i'm sorry. I'm just really frustrated right now and i just want to let out.

Do you fear it will get worse if you say something.

 

[achee]

Do you fear it will get worse if you say something.

Yes. very much

 

[MultilingualMessenger]

Yes. very much

Things sometimes get worse before they get better. And "get better" may mean letting those people go. I'd be open to that. Whether you say nothing or say something, it will get worse. But the difference is that if you say something, it can get better.

 

[joshuamalone1990]

hey i need sommeone to pray for u im here

 

[blue_ladybug]

achee, if they are cruel and mean to you and call you names, then they are not your friends.. drop them and make REAL friends.. you don't need to put up with their immature insults..

 

[RememberTheSabbathDay]

Achee,



God says you are the apple of his eye. Don't let anyone treat you any less than how God treats you. You may not know it but unconsciously you are setting precedence to accept an abusive man when it comes to dating if you don't learn to step up and step away from these people who are abusing you. Even you cousin you have to let her go. Some times, family can be your worse enemy. Ask God to give you courage to walk away and don't look back. Yes keep them in prayer but you are worth more than what you realize. Its their loss.

 

[dalconn]

bad company corrupts good morals...unload those flesh pots

 

[achee]

hey i need sommeone to pray for u im here

Thank you ☺

 

[achee]

Achee,



God says you are the apple of his eye. Don't let anyone treat you any less than how God treats you. You may not know it but unconsciously you are setting precedence to accept an abusive man when it comes to dating if you don't learn to step up and step away from these people who are abusing you. Even you cousin you have to let her go. Some times, family can be your worse enemy. Ask God to give you courage to walk away and don't look back. Yes keep them in prayer but you are worth more than what you realize. Its their loss.

Thank you. your right, its also partially my fault for giving them the chance treat me like that.

 

[achee]

achee, if they are cruel and mean to you and call you names, then they are not your friends.. drop them and make REAL friends.. you don't need to put up with their immature insults..

Yes, i will. Thank you