Youth group isn't working out for me

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rachee_boo

Guest
#1
#1
Hi everyone,

I attend the local Lutheran church here in my town. I have started attending the youth group after the Sunday service. I've been giving it a chance and have attended the youth group three times. I don't really feel like there is any progress though. I'm quite shy, and personally feel like the other people in youth group don't like me because I'm so quiet. There is a girl too that is the youth group that is an enemy of mine. We used to attend school together when she was still going to my school. So, its just awkward and I don't know what to do. The point of youth group is to have fun I thought and every time I go, I don't have fun. I feel awkward and unwelcome. Is there any suggestion as to what I should do?
 
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wolfywolfs

Guest
#2
#2
you cant force yourself to have fun just do something else that youll enjoy
 
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CoachCamp

Guest
#3
#3
if you feel bad around people in a church, than that church is not in good condition. i am a very welcoming person and i would never just ignore or give people the conception that i simply just don't like them. I personally go to a small group where there isn't as many problems with greed and pride as a large church
 
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ZooLander466

Guest
#4
#4
i had the same problem at my church and i gave another church a chance and i am having a blast .If the energy is negative then why stay there ? Try to make New friends , meet new ppl.
 
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Ugly

Guest
#5
#5
Sorry, but youth group isn't all about 'fun'. Youth group, done correctly, should be a youth service, with messages and themes geared towards younger people and the things they deal with. Yes, fun can be integrated into this. But fun should not be the ultimate goal.

Also, you're making presumptions that these people don't like you. In fact, you don't know that. You're just shy and assuming it. Reality is, they don't know you, so they probably neither like, nor dislike you.

I'm shy too, i had a hard time in youth meeting others. But i stuck around and eventually i made some friends. Maybe stick around, try listening to the messages. If after a few weeks the messages seem lame and you still can't find friends, then maybe consider trying a new one. But really, at 17 you're on your last year for 'youth' anyways since most have a cut off of 17/18. Maybe start looking around town for a collage group?

Sometimes it helps to try to chum up to the leaders. They tend to be more open to meeting people and make it easier for you, as a shy person, to talk to them. That's what i always did. And i ended up in leadership in two different youth at once as a result. And being a leader makes it easier to meet people.
 
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Parker

Guest
#6
#6
I think that if you spend time in bible study, and prayer, god will lift your spirits and illuminate a path for you. Try to make a commitment to this youth group until you know for sure where God is leading you. Remember that the biggest part of the youth group is to praise the lord. i hope this helps!
 
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Zoey1472

Guest
#7
#7
Someone told me that God knew who would be in youth group,church,etc. they cant be standing there for no reason. Listen hard and you'll find something for you.And if it is the church you dont like pray to God for a different church.If you want to talk you can mail me. God Bless!
 
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Lucy68

Senior Member
#8
Jan 21, 2011
2,538
22
0
#8
Give it some more time :) .

It takes awhile for teens to warm up to each other...just an awkward time of life. Try starting some conversations and see what happens.
 
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xXErraticEmilyXx

Guest
#9
#9
Try bringing a friend. If it's still making you unhappy, try a different church. That's what my first one was like. Everyone in the group was from my school (small town) and I got ignored a lot and it was just frustrating. I went to a bigger church where I didn't know anyone and they had good music and it was more like a sunday service. It helped that they had a meet and greet welcoming type thing. I got lucky cuz the girl they put me with was very friendly. Another thing to try is find someone else who looks lonely and just strike up a conversation. It's scary, but pretend to be confident and it might just work out lol sometimes they feel the same way.
 
JimJimmers

JimJimmers

Senior Member
#10
Apr 26, 2012
2,584
70
48
#10
I agree. Not that you should definitely switch churches, but please pray about it. There could be an awesome church in God's plan.
 
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Chris11

Guest
#11
#11
May I say in love and with reality that we do make choices. You may be a 'shy' person or have a disadvantage in that you're not as outgoing as perhaps other people are, because of cause even the outgoing person may not know when to be silent and sit down. We're unique just like everybody else!

The point I'm pressing is this - you also make a choice every-time you are a part of the group to either participate or not. I too am/was one of those people who waited for stuff to be handed to me on a pretty plate, unfortunately that doesn't usually happen. You may need to step out of your comfort zone - go and sit by someone random at the group and introduce yourself and see where that leads.

In regards to your 'enemy' from the past - Hard stuff and I can understand that, but I also know that infections that aren't dwelt with get worse and sometimes spread. I'd recommend being the 'better' Christian and at a time lead by the Spirit to go and say hello to this person, and even apologize for the past and ask how they're doing. Life is about choices my friend and doing nothing is still making a choice. Don't waste your life assuming what other people think of you, get in there, focus on Jesus and use this time to grow. If we cannot deal with our issues in church and with fellow believers - I whole heartedly believe we can't in the world.

I encourage you and give you credit for going to the youth-group. That's awesome!

I encourage you to read the Word and pray and mimic the Lord Jesus.

I encourage you to step out and take a risk. God's for you, not against you. He'll help you!

'I will ask the Father, and He will give you another Helper, that He may be with you forever;' [John 14:16]

God bless you!
 
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HannahColleen

Guest
#12
#12
I had the same problem, I ignored the problem for awhilè, in the end I just quit going.

I will have to say that in my opinion youth group isn't just to have fun, its to learn about God, while fellowshiping with other people your age.
That was also another reason I quit going to youth group, to them (even the leaders) it was only about having fun, but I do agree if you are not having fun you shouldn't continue to keep going.
 
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BrittanyJones

Guest
#13
#13
I had same problem too. I just quit trying. Especially when I found out from my dad that they all felt I was a snob because I was shy. Teens can be very insecure (I know I was) and don't handle people well who don't just gush all over them.

Later as I started to become part of churches I really loved and had a spirit of love and fellowship in Christ about them, I realized that the focus of the youth group was just fun and everyday events in a normal teen's life. There was no focus on God and loving others and bringing others into group for fellowship. Pray about it, God will bring you to the right place where you will find some good fellowship and some Christ centered, loving people!
 
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BrittanyJones

Guest
#14
#14
Oh and *hugs* you aren't alone in this, as many can attest too. God will be there for you and protect you. :) He is amazing!

Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

1 Peter 5:7
 
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TaylorRomans

Guest
#15
#15
When a youth group seems to not get along with someone then that shows signs of neglect to their prayer lives as a group and neglect of following the bible cause when there seems to be groups and enemies then its all wrong. The lack of unity is whats wrong. Yes you will have disagreements and points where people will talk to certain but if there is no neglect to prayer and bible and over all unity it will all pass so give it time or just start praying that the youth group will become more unitfied and more open sometimes you just gotta step out of the box to say "hey im here too"
 
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EnaGoguette

Guest
#16
#16
I feel you! i want to get active in the youth groups, but my youth group is what i would call "fake" or "not keepin' it real". I want a TRUE youth group!
 
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Chris11

Guest
#17
#17
EnaGoguette said:
I feel you! i want to get active in the youth groups, but my youth group is what i would call "fake" or "not keepin' it real". I want a TRUE youth group!
Click to expand...
What is a true Youth group?

I'm still trying to find one.
 
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