I think evil has been messing with my life

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I

Idkman

Guest
#1
#1
Ok let me just explain a few battles that I've had in the past.

When I was 13 I went literally insane. I was so afraid of going to hell but I had a hard time agreeing that we deserve to go to hell (I still disagree but that's another subject) and I didn't want to fake humility so I would try to cram bible verses into my head until I believed them. I wouldn't eat. I didn't let myself hang out with friends or listen to music or watch tv or do anything normal. And sleeping was hard because I thought maybe jesus would come back in my sleep and I would go to hell. So i walked around feeling trapped and scared i swore the rapture was coming. you really couldnt have told me otherwise.Keep in mind this was AFTER I prayed the salvation prayer and I already knew the way to heaven was by faith and not works. All of this was caused by reading revelation(s) but that ended when my mom got worried about my sanity.

But then When I was 14, I kept hearing a voice saying that I shouldn't eat. Like somehow it was pleasing to god if I went the whole day without eating. And I listened until I finally talked to someone about it and regained my common sense.

But then when I was 15, I kept feeling like I shouldn't sleep. I literally got up in the middle of the night and went into a room alone while my family was sleeping and I would stand and sit in really uncomfortable positions and just wait there and sing quietly waiting to hear "god's voice"

I'm 18 now and I have quit on trying to read the bible or seek guidance from god because I always end up deceived. I wish I was joking about any of this. It's even more complicated than I'm telling you about. I was just wondering if you have any advice for me or if I can privately talk to one of you. I know I'm not allowed to clog up the forum. This is my first post on this website I just made an account tonight. I just need help and I'm losing all hope for my anxiety.
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#2
#2
Sounds to me less like evil, and more like a form of OCD. Now i'm not an expert, so i'm not diagnosing, just giving an opinion. You get a thought in your head, and obsess over it until it consumes you. This is how OCD operates in the mind. Perhaps rather than blaming God you should see about some professional counseling.
Also, satan may be feeding off of this, satan does come as an angel of light. So perhaps you are so easily deceived because you spent all your time memorizing scripture, but not learning the true meaning and intent. You still seem to carry a works based way of thinking, despite your claim to understand otherwise.
If you want to discuss it privately feel free to message me. Not everyone cares for my style of advice giving, so i will let you decide, rather than me contact you.
 
K

kenisyes

Guest
#3
#3
Stop trying to do what is right to please God, and just receive His love and blessings. Let HIM make your life work, then you won't have to worry about these things.

This is a variety of "scruples", which is a psychological illness the devil tries to give the most sincere followers of God. He tries to get them to think it is their job to please God, and hopes he can get them to think they are not good enough, so they will leave God. The only answer, is to realize that if you are trying so hard to please God that it nearly drives you crazy, that right there that proves you love Him. So stop trying, you already proved it.

When I was young, I was told it is very hard to throw this off. I had it for many years, but God and I licked it together, at just about your age. I think nowadays it is easier, because our culture has changed. You may pm me if you want to talk.
 
T_Laurich

T_Laurich

Senior Member
#4
Mar 24, 2013
3,356
122
63
29
#4
I have the same form of problem

I have these voices that control me... honestly I held my spit for 3 hours not swallowing or spitting or talking or moving in fear some spiritual being would damn me to hell...

I get in these moods were the thoughts are subconscious like someone else is thinking them, They will convince me that if I cross the street at a certain time I will go to hell... If I talk to a certain person I will go to hell... They basically make my whole life like a conspiracy theory about going to hell...

Don't know why I am telling you this instead of just saying what I would do... I also know I sound like a basket case, but I probably am :p

But, What I found most beneficial is the books that Paul wrote in the bible... I don't know why but I am drawn to those books like a bug to a light source... Maybe they can help your too... Just start at Acts and read on... I am current at Philippians....
 
I

Idkman

Guest
#6
#6
Wow I was actually considering counseling anyway because I have anxiety about life itself. I know there are many types of anxiety but I never considered that I might have OCD. Thank you
 
A

Ariel82

Guest
#7
#7
don't worry about clogging up the forums.

Will keep you in my prayers.

May God give you peace and wisdom to defeat the spiritual forces that try and steal your Joy in Him.

this verse always helped me see past the lies voices would try and whisper, and praise music helps too.

2 Timothy 1:7
For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.
 
H

Hungry

Banned
#8
Nov 26, 2012
3,095
1,050
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#8
God loves His children like a Father. Salvation is to be accepted like a precious gift. It's not like a carrot to dangle before us to do the Lord's bidding. We are to serve the Lord out of thankfulness and love, not fear and punishment. Others have posted some good advice. It might be wise to see a professional counselor.
 
S

Siberian_Khatru

Guest
#9
#9
Ugly said:
Not everyone cares for my style of advice giving, so i will let you decide, rather than me contact you.
Click to expand...
Lol you know, I've often interpreted your tone as judgmental and condescending more so than constructive, but I must say, you're a smart chap, and the one thing I appreciate about your advice is it's not always some metaphysical regurgitation that people in doubtful circumstances can't relate to. Thanks Ugly. +1!

When I was 13 I went literally insane...
Click to expand...
Don't most girls do that around that age? :p

I'm 18 now and I have quit on trying to read the bible or seek guidance from god because I always end up deceived.
Click to expand...
Have you pondered who the Deceiver is? It does sound like there is room for some sort of mental disorder diagnosis, though I don't think you should default to that; let alone use it to shield yourself from God. Your presence here suggests you haven't "quit" though. Asking advice from Godly people, rather than communicating with Him directly, is not excluding Him from the equation. :)

My door is open to private discussion. It's also open to girl scout cookies and those fundraiser $2 chocolate bars with almonds (I'm not a glutton!). :D
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#10
#10
Siberian_Khatru said:
Lol you know, I've often interpreted your tone as judgmental and condescending more so than constructive, but I must say, you're a smart chap, and the one thing I appreciate about your advice is it's not always some metaphysical regurgitation that people in doubtful circumstances can't relate to. Thanks Ugly. +1!



Don't most girls do that around that age? :p



Have you pondered who the Deceiver is? It does sound like there is room for some sort of mental disorder diagnosis, though I don't think you should default to that; let alone use it to shield yourself from God. Your presence here suggests you haven't "quit" though. Asking advice from Godly people, rather than communicating with Him directly, is not excluding Him from the equation. :)

My door is open to private discussion. It's also open to girl scout cookies and those fundraiser $2 chocolate bars with almonds (I'm not a glutton!). :D
Click to expand...
My intention is always good, which is why i choose to be blunt and not beat around the bush. It can come off wrong, especially online. But those who know me on a personal level never get offended because they know where i'm coming from.
But at any rate, thanks for the nice words. Appreciated.
*un-derails thread now
 
F

flight316

Guest
#11
#11
Well put Ugly, Amen.
 
L

LindaT456

Guest
#12
#12
These things pass. Let them run their course. I've had this happen in my life and I am not able to speak any tongue to keep the spirits away. Do not ever touch any other sort of evil ever again.

Fill your mind and spirit with all things Christ. He will begin to heal the mind of its locks and bondage.

God bless you. Stay safe ;)
 
G

GeorgeGordon

Guest
#13
#13
You sound like me. I will tell you that if you seek to control God, either by ignoring Him or by trying to appease him to an insane degree you will end up with no inner peace. The lack of inner peace in this life is a kind of Hell we are allowed to experience in order that we may know what our actions lead to. Focus on trusting God, He isn't the kind of God who wants to set you up so you can go to hell, He's the God that blesses us with misfortune so that we may be purified of our own selfish desires. All things are set up so you can go to heaven, the hardships, the joys, every person you know, everything that happens is in your life in order that you be saved and go to heaven! As hell is prefigured in the lack of inner peace in this life, so also is heaven prefigured in inner peace during our time on earth! God bless you!
 
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