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Ok let me just explain a few battles that I've had in the past.
When I was 13 I went literally insane. I was so afraid of going to hell but I had a hard time agreeing that we deserve to go to hell (I still disagree but that's another subject) and I didn't want to fake humility so I would try to cram bible verses into my head until I believed them. I wouldn't eat. I didn't let myself hang out with friends or listen to music or watch tv or do anything normal. And sleeping was hard because I thought maybe jesus would come back in my sleep and I would go to hell. So i walked around feeling trapped and scared i swore the rapture was coming. you really couldnt have told me otherwise.Keep in mind this was AFTER I prayed the salvation prayer and I already knew the way to heaven was by faith and not works. All of this was caused by reading revelation(s) but that ended when my mom got worried about my sanity.
But then When I was 14, I kept hearing a voice saying that I shouldn't eat. Like somehow it was pleasing to god if I went the whole day without eating. And I listened until I finally talked to someone about it and regained my common sense.
But then when I was 15, I kept feeling like I shouldn't sleep. I literally got up in the middle of the night and went into a room alone while my family was sleeping and I would stand and sit in really uncomfortable positions and just wait there and sing quietly waiting to hear "god's voice"
I'm 18 now and I have quit on trying to read the bible or seek guidance from god because I always end up deceived. I wish I was joking about any of this. It's even more complicated than I'm telling you about. I was just wondering if you have any advice for me or if I can privately talk to one of you. I know I'm not allowed to clog up the forum. This is my first post on this website I just made an account tonight. I just need help and I'm losing all hope for my anxiety.
When I was 13 I went literally insane. I was so afraid of going to hell but I had a hard time agreeing that we deserve to go to hell (I still disagree but that's another subject) and I didn't want to fake humility so I would try to cram bible verses into my head until I believed them. I wouldn't eat. I didn't let myself hang out with friends or listen to music or watch tv or do anything normal. And sleeping was hard because I thought maybe jesus would come back in my sleep and I would go to hell. So i walked around feeling trapped and scared i swore the rapture was coming. you really couldnt have told me otherwise.Keep in mind this was AFTER I prayed the salvation prayer and I already knew the way to heaven was by faith and not works. All of this was caused by reading revelation(s) but that ended when my mom got worried about my sanity.
But then When I was 14, I kept hearing a voice saying that I shouldn't eat. Like somehow it was pleasing to god if I went the whole day without eating. And I listened until I finally talked to someone about it and regained my common sense.
But then when I was 15, I kept feeling like I shouldn't sleep. I literally got up in the middle of the night and went into a room alone while my family was sleeping and I would stand and sit in really uncomfortable positions and just wait there and sing quietly waiting to hear "god's voice"
I'm 18 now and I have quit on trying to read the bible or seek guidance from god because I always end up deceived. I wish I was joking about any of this. It's even more complicated than I'm telling you about. I was just wondering if you have any advice for me or if I can privately talk to one of you. I know I'm not allowed to clog up the forum. This is my first post on this website I just made an account tonight. I just need help and I'm losing all hope for my anxiety.