Help me.

Jakob · Sep 9, 2014

It's Tuesday. And I'm sitting drinking. I'm 18 years old. My mom is an alcoholic, and I guess I thought it's an easy escape from reality.
My reality is bad as hell to be honest.
3 days ago I went to my mom and she had a new boyfriend, and he was being a jerk, so I'm angry and sad that she is mean to my mom. And my mom is blinded. I'm drinking now, because of my mom, monkey see, monkey do. Right?!...
I can't blame her for my own actions.
In this whole month I'm going to work with my local priest, him and I are good friends.
But I swear just going outside a door is so hard, mentally. I like smiling though.
I wish Juliet would come knock on my door, but haha what do I except..
We have to work hard for everything good in this life, I know.
I'm not really a Christian, I have no clue why I can't surrender!!..,
Im so scared. I'm so lonely.
I have suicidal thoughts all the time.
And I feel so ignorant saying "if there is a God come and help me"
Obvious I have a part, as it is my life..
You guys can't really give me an answer I think, as in, it's up to me.

I don't know, I just need help,
I talk to psychologists, but they don't help. Again. Only me who can help myself.

I don't know what to write, but I wanna scream.
I'm feeling blurry now.
You don't have to answer to this thread if you don't want to, I just had to get this out of my misplaced stupid head.

PyroMatt · Sep 9, 2014

I can't say I know what you are going through unfortunately, but I will keep praying for you. Even though you're not a Christian, I believe coming to this site is a good first step. I guess God is just using your life and building you up so you can have confidence and not be suicidal or drink yourself into oblivion. There is hope at the end of the tunnel. God could also be using this experience so you will be able to relate to someone in the future.

I'm not sure if what I said would help at all, but there are people who care about you

Timmaayyyy · Sep 9, 2014

Hey brother. The struggles that you are going through are tough i bet and i understand how hard it is on you. I had anxiety and panic attacks, and i was kinda depressed and had some suicidal thoughts pop into my head. That time was hard on me but that is when i became a Christian. I fully surrendered to Jesus and asked him to help me. From there on out he changed my life and he took all those things away. Once and a while the anxiety might come up again, but i can easily rebuke it because i know the lord is there. Anyways bro, Jesus is the answer. He can help you with all your struggles and change your whole life around. You just have to trust in him and let him work in you. Come as you are to him and give yourself to him. He is always there waiting, and he loves and cares about you. God bless bro, we can talk more if you want.

Seriously · Sep 9, 2014

Don’t take this wrong - but I think you're on the right track. The first step to a change is realizing how you are now is wrong - or not good for you and actually 'wanting' to change or wanting something better - which you sound like you do- or you're almost there. It’s a commitment - no half way deals, He'll take everything you’ve got - the good the bad the ugly - and then some. But He has so much in store for you, more then you know. Hang in there

Animus · Sep 11, 2014

"being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion" - Philippians 1:6

I recommend reading a few proverbs a day - they are short, and they require no context, but they help you to get a bit of the word of God each day. Something about reading the Bible in the morning, even a little bit, gets your head in the right space.

Oh, and you should ask God for help if you want to, don't feel ignorant about that, God loves you, He wants you to come to Him as you are, and He will go with you to where you need to be.

"being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion" - Philippians 1:6

inge · Sep 12, 2014

Hi I don't know if you mind me answering but when you confess that Jesus is Lord and believe that God raised him from death, you will be saved. Surrendering your life means humble yourself and give it all to God. The first step is just pray (or scream) to God and He hears.

Practical I think you need someone to talk to you have a lot on your plate and also it is good to share troubles and hidden things so that satan cannot put guilt and bad thoughts in your mind. When you confess to God your sins He is willing and able to forgive whatever has happened. In God you will find peace and rest in Your troubling situation.

Deadtosin · Sep 12, 2014

Jakob said:

Hey brother, my parents were alcoholics and they split up numerous times (divorced now in fact) so I was around when my mother had multiple boyfriends and I definitely understand the drinking. My mothers drink of choice is vodka and oj, so there was always vodka under the cupboard and often enough she would get so wasted that by morning she never really knew how much she drank or we did.

I want to address the situation of her boyfriend being a jerk and treating her badly. I know it hurts bro. I watched my own father break my mothers nose in 3 places. He punched her square in the face inches from my 10 month old brothers head. It hurts and it's hard. Maybe the hardest part is that she never really wanted help. She too was blinded. Part of her actually believed she deserved it. One thing I've learned looking back at my life is that "I cannot make anyone do anything, I can't make them understand anything." you see brother, she is going to do whatever she wants to do at any given time and until SHE is ready for a change no change will ever happen. So where does that leave you? well, you are 18 (according to your profile) and if you can't handle hearing or seeing it, maybe you should go crash on a friends couch for awhile. As far as your drinking. It won't help anything. If you are like me then when you were younger you saw your parents drink and you thought "that's so stupid, they act so dumb, I'll never do that" then of course one day you did, and you liked it. Well, just always remember that clarity you had as a child. Or the way she still appears to you when she is drunk.

I don't know if you ever want to have children but if you do I am certain you don't want them to continue in the cycle of alcoholism.

So of course this isn't the only issue in your life. Most people don't have suicidal tendencies because their parent is a drunk and/or abused. So I will assume we are missing part of the story.

Jesus Christ truly is "The Way" and I mean it. He is very real and His power and Love is tangible and epic. They do change everything. Now, I am not naive enough to believe that those simple truths will dramatically change your life. As powerful as Jesus Christ is you are already doubtful, hurt and cornered. So you need something far more simple to give you some breathing room so here it is.

Find something that calms you. For me, it's the breeze. I used to get so upset and I would walk out to a field with tall grass and just watch the grass blow in waves and I'd feel the wind on my face and brushing across my chest. Maybe that will do it for you, or maybe it won't. You need to find peace and center yourself. Break away from being connected with your household's issues. You are your own man and you are destined to live a life. it is one thing to love your family and friends, it's another thing to attach yourself to them. The moment your happiness is in someone elses hand's you will never truly be happy, because you can't control whether or not they are happy and in this chaos you lose yourself.

So, escape the environment. Breathe. Feel. Raise your head to the sky (this is a good time to open up to God) and enjoy your moment of simplicity. In this moment there is nothing but you. Here and God.

Message me for anything brother. You got this.

Standingwolf13 · Sep 12, 2014

When I was arrested and went to jail I knew i was innocent of any wrong doing I kept saying my rights my freedoms are being violated, please give me JUSTICE!!!!!!!!!!

When I got arrested for a crime and knew that I was guilty do you think I wanted that same JUSTICE I was screaming for, no at this point I wanted GOD"S MERCY and merciful he was! He said this me, I have been trying to communicate with you and you were not listening so I had to remove what you thought to be your life in order to have a conversation with you.

Well it worked because, he shared his plan with me and that plan was to loosen from my grips those things that were not mine to hold onto, (ANGER) doesn't belong to me -(HATRED) doesn't belong to me-(DISTRESS)doesn't belong to me they are one of many of the devils tools to make you forget that you are created in my (GOD"S) image He says. Put those weapons down and pick up the weapons I have chosen for you, so when you are attacked again in your MENTAL (MIND) you can stand with all you have.

[h=1]Ephesians 6:10-18New International Version (NIV)[/h][h=3]The Armor of God[/h]10 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11 Put on the full armor of God,so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. 12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.13 Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.

tourist · Sep 12, 2014

Standingwolf13 said:

Putting on the armor of God is a necessity today as there is so much evil in the world. When I was 17 I had a very bad year and did not know about the full armor of God. I learned about other things instead. I learned that you cannot lean on your own understanding. A few years earlier I was saved by the blood of Jesus but I did not realize that He is always with me even in the worse of times. I felt like I was in the valley of death but He was with me there also in my desperate hour of need. You learn from your mistakes and move on. Later, I took a chance at a shot of redemption, that went well but the ending was sad. There is always a price to pay but the Lord is quick to forgive and forget, and will either mitigate the damage or take it completely away. In my case it was a little of both but I emerged a better man for having lived through what I did. I give God all of the glory.

I am older and wiser now but it has been a rough road with twists and turns. Now, I live and let live, and forgive and forget. It is not so bad and my future is bright because I know without a doubt that God loves me and wants me to have life and have it more abundantly, and not just for myself, but for someone else as well.

_Mastermind77_ · Sep 13, 2014

I'm praying for you. It must be so confusing to have those tragic things happen to you, and trust me, i know the feeling of being lost and miserable in addiction. God brought you here so you can see and hear what some of us have gone through, and how we can possibly help you. This is my message, may it speak to your bruised spirit.

A year and 3 months ago I entered a huge storm cloud of depression, and for anyone who has had depression, it is a storm cloud. So heavy and filled to bursting with darkness, constantly looming over your beaten brow. But even as you feel the weight of the world on your shoulders, look up my friend, look up. close your eyes and open your heart to the true whispers of God. let him speak. let him have his say. in the dark corners of your mind, think back. you know your struggles. you know all of the unfairness you have endured. you know true misery. let these few words divide the storm cloud above you, let truth break your chains, let Jesus reign.

"1 In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. 2 The same was in the beginning with God. 3 All things were made by him; and without him was not any thing made that was made. 4 In him was life; and the life was the light of men. 5 And the light shineth in darkness; and the darkness comprehendeth it not. 6 There was a man sent from God, whose name was John. 7 The same came for a witness, to bear witness of the Light, that all men through him might believe. 8 He was not that Light, but was sent to bear witness of that Light. 9 That was the true Light, which lighteth every man that cometh into the world. 10 He was in the world, and the world was made by him, and the world knew him not. 11 He came unto his own, and his own received him not. 12 But as many received him, to them he gave the power to become the sons of God, even to them that believe on his name: 13 Which were born, not of blood, nor the will of the flesh, nor of the will of man, but of God" John 1:1-13

"Be ye therefore followers of God, as dear children;2 And walk in love, as Christ also hath loved us, and hath given himself for us an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweetsmelling savour.
3 But fornication, and all uncleanness, or covetousness, let it not be once named among you, as becometh saints;
4 Neither filthiness, nor foolish talking, nor jesting, which are not convenient: but rather giving of thanks.
5 For this ye know, that no whoremonger, nor unclean person, nor covetous man, who is an idolater, hath any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God.
6 Let no man deceive you with vain words: for because of these things cometh the wrath of God upon the children of disobedience.
7 Be not ye therefore partakers with them.
8 For ye were sometimes darkness, but now are ye light in the Lord: walk as children of light:
9 (For the fruit of the Spirit is in all goodness and righteousness and truth)
10 Proving what is acceptable unto the Lord.
11 And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather reprove them.
12 For it is a shame even to speak of those things which are done of them in secret.
13 But all things that are reproved are made manifest by the light: for whatsoever doth make manifest is light.
14 Wherefore he saith, Awake thou that sleepest, and arise from the dead, and Christ shall give thee light.
15 See then that ye walk circumspectly, not as fools, but as wise,
16 Redeeming the time, because the days are evil.
17 Wherefore be ye not unwise, but understanding what the will of the Lord is.
18 And be not drunk with wine, wherein is excess; but be filled with the Spirit;
19 Speaking to yourselves in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord;
20 Giving thanks always for all things unto God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ;" Ephesians 5:1-20

God bless you, and may you come to know the true freedom that is only found in Jesus Christ.

Beautifulstranger2014 · Sep 17, 2014

Hey so here's something one of my best friends told me when he was evangelizing for a guy who rides the bus an does I school with us. The faith you have in God and Jesus Christ doesn't have to be big it can be a small as a mustard seed and you will be welcome in hi kingdom. And I promise when you reach that point things will begin to change. My pastor told us in youth group being a Christian May very we'll be the hardest thing on earth. Because you'll always run into thugs or have times that challenge your faith and God is standing beside you in those storms saying I'm right here an I'll never let you go.
Jdsuz says this about conflict I pray for those who will believe in me through my descriptors message. May they be brought I complete unity to let the world know that you sent me.
Proverbs 10:12 says this getter stirs up dissidents ion but love covers all wrongs.
And luke 12:29-31 says this Jesus said do not set your heart on what you will eat or drink do not worry about it. For the pagan world runs after all such thugs and your father knows you need them but seek his kingdom and these things will be oven to you as well.

So here is what I do when I'm upset or stressed beyond beliefs. I just sit down and pay and say dear heavenly father thank you for the blessing you have given me and thank you for standing by my side. Right now I pray for strength as I overcome these parables that have presented themselves before me and please help to say strong in my beliefs ad not then away from you. God will present himself one day in the way you want him I present himself. I found God through a terrible accident I went through and through a club in high school. I realized that there was so much that I was missing before and that all the people in this club were strong and different from others because if their Elisha and they we put making aside remove in life. So that may not have been how I wanted him to grab a hold of me and guide me in the right direction but now today and for the rest of my life I don't think I'd have it any other way because what seemed impossible at one point in time brought me out stronger and not necessarily happier but to a point where I was enjoying life more because I'm doing things like this I'm talking to people about God and Jesus and my faith and how it changed my life.
So I guess what I'm saying is definitely find someone I ell you along this path you're on in life ad just keep praying and trying to keep hope in God and not physical thugs of the earth. Of one thing that I've also found helps when in upset is to listen to some Christian rock. There's the song restart by the newsboys and this is amazing grace by Phil wick ham or gold by Britt Nicole. In sorry if this sort of jumps all over the place I do my best but I hope this helps. And know that all the people over the world who believe in Jesus are your brothers and sisters in Christ and that God gave us these people to help us and hide us to be our shoulder to cry and someone to run to few advice. I hope things start to look up.

Beautifulstranger2014 · Sep 20, 2014

I'm sorry my typos are terrible and make thy post incomprehensible.

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Help me.

Jakob

Senior Member

PyroMatt

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Timmaayyyy

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Seriously

Junior Member

Animus

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inge

Senior Member

Deadtosin

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Standingwolf13

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tourist

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_Mastermind77_

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Beautifulstranger2014

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Beautifulstranger2014

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