It's Tuesday. And I'm sitting drinking. I'm 18 years old. My mom is an alcoholic, and I guess I thought it's an easy escape from reality.
My reality is bad as hell to be honest.
3 days ago I went to my mom and she had a new boyfriend, and he was being a jerk, so I'm angry and sad that she is mean to my mom. And my mom is blinded. I'm drinking now, because of my mom, monkey see, monkey do. Right?!...
I can't blame her for my own actions.
In this whole month I'm going to work with my local priest, him and I are good friends.
But I swear just going outside a door is so hard, mentally. I like smiling though.
I wish Juliet would come knock on my door, but haha what do I except..
We have to work hard for everything good in this life, I know.
I'm not really a Christian, I have no clue why I can't surrender!!..,
Im so scared. I'm so lonely.
I have suicidal thoughts all the time.
And I feel so ignorant saying "if there is a God come and help me"
Obvious I have a part, as it is my life..
You guys can't really give me an answer I think, as in, it's up to me.
I don't know, I just need help,
I talk to psychologists, but they don't help. Again. Only me who can help myself.
I don't know what to write, but I wanna scream.
I'm feeling blurry now.
You don't have to answer to this thread if you don't want to, I just had to get this out of my misplaced stupid head.
My reality is bad as hell to be honest.
3 days ago I went to my mom and she had a new boyfriend, and he was being a jerk, so I'm angry and sad that she is mean to my mom. And my mom is blinded. I'm drinking now, because of my mom, monkey see, monkey do. Right?!...
I can't blame her for my own actions.
In this whole month I'm going to work with my local priest, him and I are good friends.
But I swear just going outside a door is so hard, mentally. I like smiling though.
I wish Juliet would come knock on my door, but haha what do I except..
We have to work hard for everything good in this life, I know.
I'm not really a Christian, I have no clue why I can't surrender!!..,
Im so scared. I'm so lonely.
I have suicidal thoughts all the time.
And I feel so ignorant saying "if there is a God come and help me"
Obvious I have a part, as it is my life..
You guys can't really give me an answer I think, as in, it's up to me.
I don't know, I just need help,
I talk to psychologists, but they don't help. Again. Only me who can help myself.
I don't know what to write, but I wanna scream.
I'm feeling blurry now.
You don't have to answer to this thread if you don't want to, I just had to get this out of my misplaced stupid head.