Christian woman who does not want kids?

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taggerung

taggerung

Senior Member
#1
Apr 26, 2009
219
2
18
33
#1
Before I get on with my post, I hope I chose the right forum to post this in. Okay, here goes:
this is a topic that has been on my heart for quite awhile now. First, a bit of background on me: I adore children. I am a highly sought after babysitter (because the kids love me) I used to supervise recess at my local elementary school, I participate and lead my churches vacation bible school every single year, and the parents of my charges frequently comment on my nurturing spirit. But here is the deal: I don't want kids of my own. I don't feel like I could take a life of crying kids, wiping runny noses, baby drool (ugh. I hate that stuff) losing the privilege sleeping in, giving up all my free time to raise another human being ect. I am not pro eugenics, but I feel that I have a lot of bad things I would pass on genetically (diabetes, pcos, high blood pressure ect) essentially the only good thing I have to contribute to the gene pool, is a mutation. In my psck9 gene. Which essentially makes me immune to bad cholesterol (about 3% of the population has this mutation.) and besides that, pregnancy would be dangerous to me due to health complications. anyway, back to the topic. Many woman tell me that I will change my mind, or act like I'm crazy for not wanting kids. But for me, the worst part is: will I ever find a godly man who does not want kids?does anyone else feel the same way?
 
C

colalella2891

Guest
#2
#2
In my opinion there's absolutely nothing wrong with the fact that you don't want kids. If that's not something you want, you shouldn't feel bad about that. There are many christians who don't want to be married either, and that's okay too.

I have doubts about it myself. Kids love me as well, people have told me i'm anointed to be around kids. My kid cousins love to play with me and everything. But yeah kids can definitely be a hassle, especially when I see them screaming at their mom in the supermarket and crying in church while their parents are trying to listen to the services. Changing poopy diapers... Just ew.

It's something i'm praying about though, because if God wants me to have kids because it's part of His plan then so be it. But i'm not completely against having kids, because the positive part is keeping my lineage going. And also, I really don't believe that God would force me to reproduce if I wouldn't see my children as a blessing later on. But that's just how I feel about it.
 
K

kenisyes

Guest
#3
#3
My wife and I had many children in the Kingdom of God. But no genetic ones.
 
shawntc

shawntc

Senior Member
#4
May 7, 2010
729
11
0
#4
There seems to be some assumption in society that you will want to have kids. And if you don't you are seen as strange. It exists among guys too.

If you don't want to have kids, that's your choice. I'm not sure I'd want any, myself
 
H

hattiebod

Guest
#5
#5
taggerung said:
Before I get on with my post, I hope I chose the right forum to post this in. Okay, here goes:
this is a topic that has been on my heart for quite awhile now. First, a bit of background on me: I adore children. I am a highly sought after babysitter (because the kids love me) I used to supervise recess at my local elementary school, I participate and lead my churches vacation bible school every single year, and the parents of my charges frequently comment on my nurturing spirit. But here is the deal: I don't want kids of my own. I don't feel like I could take a life of crying kids, wiping runny noses, baby drool (ugh. I hate that stuff) losing the privilege sleeping in, giving up all my free time to raise another human being ect. I am not pro eugenics, but I feel that I have a lot of bad things I would pass on genetically (diabetes, pcos, high blood pressure ect) essentially the only good thing I have to contribute to the gene pool, is a mutation. In my psck9 gene. Which essentially makes me immune to bad cholesterol (about 3% of the population has this mutation.) and besides that, pregnancy would be dangerous to me due to health complications. anyway, back to the topic. Many woman tell me that I will change my mind, or act like I'm crazy for not wanting kids. But for me, the worst part is: will I ever find a godly man who does not want kids?does anyone else feel the same way?
Click to expand...
God is in charge? He is omnipotent? He is the author, sustainer and creator of your faith? He is able to do the impossible?
who knows if you will have children? ....God does. :)
Your life is His. And it stretches ahead, I hope you will live in His blessings and under His authority. God Bless you. <><
 
secularhermit

secularhermit

Banned
#6
May 3, 2013
8,719
75
0
#6
I hope you find him! Since my 18 I wanted vasectomy and a doctor, friend of my family laughed at me. He told me I had my family, meaning children. I got 4 an lost 1. I rather liked the "benefits" of having one spouse instead of the "problems" of having kids and I NEVER got enough money to satisfy economic issues of "a family". I could recently, at last, be vasectomized. It was a releasing experience having marital intercourse without worrying about any children coming "from Paris" the very day I was operated (the doctor ordered to do that the same day, and I was shocked). My ex-wife did not felt my joy, but we both lost a daughter, and it takes time to healing... After divorce (which I don't recommend) often men stay alone, I mean, far from their children (competing with "new" ones) and, of course, there were many reasons for me to divorce and I AM the 1st party with guilt (not for my ex, but for having lost sight of my children) (they needed some parental image and now Elisha seems to be involved in drugs).

Yes! I'm crazy like you. I tried to avoid part of those problems you mentioned. I'm healthy. I don't have genetic problems (except those related to sin) and I have known some children think parenthood is just receiving money, rather than other things. But it is up to them! I only give what I have. I cannot give what I lacked and I don't care if blamed or ignored: I will try to do my best.
 
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secularhermit

secularhermit

Banned
#7
May 3, 2013
8,719
75
0
#7
secularhermit said:
Yes! Iḿ crazy... I only give what I have. I cannot give what I lacked and I don't care if blamed or ignored: I will try to do my best.
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This is Michael, the new kid on the block, where my children live.

Photo0383.jpg
 
T

Tearose84

Guest
#9
#9
don't beat yourself up over it! if you don't want kids, then that is fine. It sounds like you have enough love to love everyone else's! I think that is awesome!
 
S

Siberian_Khatru

Guest
#10
#10
will I ever find a godly man who does not want kids?does anyone else feel the same way?
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"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble." (Matthew 6:34)

Nobody [here] can say whether you will nor won't. I personally do not want children either, but am not opposed to the prospect like I was years ago. So who knows? It's possible something will change your mind as well - just as it is possible you'll wind up with someone that shares both your affinity for children, as well as your lack of desire for your own.
 
Nautilus

Nautilus

Senior Member
#11
Jun 29, 2012
6,488
53
48
#11
Lol I never want kids either so I understand. I mean christian men who dont want kids exist. I think more and more people are not wanting them.
 
M

MissCris

Guest
#12
#12
Kids are difficult. Kids eat up enormous chunks of time and money and rarely say thank you. Kids wake up before you're ready for them to wake up, won't sleep when you're ready for them to sleep, often wake up in the night, drool, stink, spill things, break things, lose things, and sneeze directly in your face.

I have two kids, and they're fantastic.

But I absolutely do not think there's anything wrong with NOT wanting your own kids. I don't want any MORE kids for all of those reasons and then some. But Lord, I am so very glad I have the two I have.


 
taggerung

taggerung

Senior Member
#13
Apr 26, 2009
219
2
18
33
#13
It's nice to see that there are people who understand where I'm coming from! And here I was thinking I was alone!
 
S

starfield

Senior Member
#14
Jun 13, 2009
3,393
58
48
#14
I absolutely adore kids, even in their not-so-cute moments. They are a blessing from God and a delight to be around. The crying and drooling, sleepless nights, etc., are fleeting, they won't always be like that. But definitely go with your heart. I hope you find a godly man who shares the same view as you concerning this matter.
 
Chesed

Chesed

Member
#15
Jan 5, 2010
60
8
8
#15
Don't worry about what other people tell you! I don't want to have biological children but I want to adopt, and people always tell me they wont be mine, and I wont be able to love them as much...that's ridiculous. I just feel like why would I need to have a biological child when there are so many without a family that I can welcome into mine and love. Anyway I'm sure you wont have too much trouble finding a husband that is okay with not having kids. Do whats best for you. :)
 
J

jerusalem

Guest
#16
#16
my youngest sister was unable to have children of her own and adopted two biologically related siblings a boy and a girl close in age. she let them know they were adopted and told them she would help them find their biological parents at any time they wanted to but she always introduced them as her children and never told others they were adopted. they have always been full fledged members of the entire extended family and though grown have not yet shown a desire to find there biological kin although they know we would accept them as well. joseph was Jesus' adoptive father. adopted children are just as easy to love as your own if your heart is open to it.
 
S

SHINY707

Guest
#17
#17
taggerung said:
Before I get on with my post, I hope I chose the right forum to post this in. Okay, here goes:
this is a topic that has been on my heart for quite awhile now. First, a bit of background on me: I adore children. I am a highly sought after babysitter (because the kids love me) I used to supervise recess at my local elementary school, I participate and lead my churches vacation bible school every single year, and the parents of my charges frequently comment on my nurturing spirit. But here is the deal: I don't want kids of my own. I don't feel like I could take a life of crying kids, wiping runny noses, baby drool (ugh. I hate that stuff) losing the privilege sleeping in, giving up all my free time to raise another human being ect. I am not pro eugenics, but I feel that I have a lot of bad things I would pass on genetically (diabetes, pcos, high blood pressure ect) essentially the only good thing I have to contribute to the gene pool, is a mutation. In my psck9 gene. Which essentially makes me immune to bad cholesterol (about 3% of the population has this mutation.) and besides that, pregnancy would be dangerous to me due to health complications. anyway, back to the topic. Many woman tell me that I will change my mind, or act like I'm crazy for not wanting kids. But for me, the worst part is: will I ever find a godly man who does not want kids?does anyone else feel the same way?
Click to expand...
Hi taggerung,
Bible says the first word or statement God spoke to mankind was Genesis 1:28
[TABLE="width: 95%"]
[TR]
[TD]1:27[/TD]
[TD]So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.[/TD]
[/TR]
[TR]
[TD]1:28[/TD]
[TD]And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.............


I don't intend to change your perspective or decision regarding having children of your own, but I would say I used to think like you for a very long time but there came some uninvited occasions in my life that changed my decision regarding having kids. I loved kids since I was a small girl, but I never dreamt I would love to have my own kids, but as its written in proverbs 20:24[TABLE="width: 100%"]
[TR]
[TD][TABLE="width: 100%"]
[TR]
[TD="class: btext, colspan: 2"][TABLE="width: 100%"]
[TR]
[TD="class: orange2, width: 99%"][/TD]
[/TR]
[/TABLE]

A person's steps are directed by the LORD. How then can anyone understand their own way?
[/TD]
[/TR]
[/TABLE]
[/TD]
[/TR]
[/TABLE]
[TABLE="width: 100%"]
[TR]
[TD][TABLE="width: 100%"]
[TR]
[TD="class: btext, colspan: 2"]
I would like to suggest , it would be good if this matter be given in the hands of the Lord, let us seek His will in our life.
God bless you.[/TD]
[/TR]
[/TABLE]
[/TD]
[/TR]
[/TABLE]



[/TD]
[/TR]
[TR]
[TD][/TD]
[/TR]
[/TABLE]
 
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C

colalella2891

Guest
#18
#18
SHINY707 said:
Hi taggerung,
Bible says the first word or statement God spoke to mankind was Genesis 1:28
[TABLE="width: 95%"]
[TR]
[TD]1:27[/TD]
[TD]So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.[/TD]
[/TR]
[TR]
[TD]1:28[/TD]
[TD]And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.............


I don't intend to change your perspective or decision regarding having children of your own, but I would say I used to think like you for a very long time but there came some uninvited occasions in my life that changed my decision regarding having kids. I loved kids since I was a small girl, but I never dreamt I would love to have my own kids, but as its written in proverbs 20:24[TABLE="width: 100%"]
[TR]
[TD][TABLE="width: 100%"]
[TR]
[TD="class: btext, colspan: 2"][TABLE="width: 100%"]
[TR]
[TD="class: orange2, width: 99%"][/TD]
[/TR]
[/TABLE]

A person's steps are directed by the LORD. How then can anyone understand their own way?
[/TD]
[/TR]
[/TABLE]
[/TD]
[/TR]
[/TABLE]
[TABLE="width: 100%"]
[TR]
[TD][TABLE="width: 100%"]
[TR]
[TD="class: btext, colspan: 2"]
I would like to suggest , it would be good if this matter be given in the hands of the Lord, let us seek His will in our life.
God bless you.[/TD]
[/TR]
[/TABLE]
[/TD]
[/TR]
[/TABLE]



[/TD]
[/TR]
[TR]
[TD][/TD]
[/TR]
[/TABLE]
Click to expand...
What about Paul? He never got married or had kids.
 
S

sushirolls

Guest
#19
#19
I am 25 years old and I do not want kids. I dont want them because society makes me sick. schools are filled with trashy kids who do drugs, swear, get into lots and lots of trouble. I do not want my kids to grow up in a society where they will be corrupt. A mother and father can only do so much but the child will also associate with many people in her or his life. Im not trying to be rude but why do you care about what people think? People who judge are full of themselves typically. Do what you want in life and not what you think people want you to do. Btw i know lots of christain men who dont want kids because of the very reasons i mentioned before. Please do not feel guilty.
 
I

iTOREtheSKY

Guest
#20
#20
LOL..funny. I never wanted kids either. The women in my old church used to say to me I'd make a great Dad someday 'cause I was good with kid's. All the same as you..get asked to babysit,helped out in the school nursery,took turns teaching sunday bible school at the church,and so on. I could never find a Godly woman who DIDN'T want kids. I felt very depressed about that,because it made me start to question if there was something wrong in me as a christian man. The thing is,I never felt the desire to want children of my own. If I were to ever have kid's I would only adopt...that was always my thinking. One of the reasons I married a non-believer was because she was the first woman I'd met that felt as I did about not wanting to have children. I am certainly not recommending marriage to an unbeliever,as it has a high chance of never ending well,as mine ended in divorce after 9 years. But just to let you know...yer' not crazy for feeling the way you do...there are christian men who have no desire for children & I'm sure I'm not the only one.
 
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