I'm not a fan of contraceptives. That quote wasn't referring to having sex with your spouse just for the sexual pleasure of it, though. CS Lewis was saying that trying to have sexual pleasure with anyone aside from your spouse is wrong.
Ehh, I'm going to take a guess that he has early contraceptives in mind (I'm not sure where my copy of Mere Christianity is, so I can't check the context, but since it's a chapter on marriage it would be referring to contraceptives) as really, the only way to isolate sexual pleasure is to remove the chance for procreation. That is done through contraceptives and, yes, masturbation. Not to mention that Lewis was Anglican, which is about as close as you can get to being Catholic without being Catholic.
Also, I think it also could be understood as you were saying, which is that the idea of sex outside of a demonstration of love rather than two people hooking up for casual sex. Technically there is nothing in the quotation saying that it must be restrained to marriage, but I've read enough Lewis to know that it is implied. (I actually read the Narnia series recently and really enjoyed it, but that's not relevant.)
For the second quote, the focus was on the last part of it: "God knows our situation; He will not judge us as if we had no difficulties to overcome. What matters is the sincerity and perserverance of our will to overcome." You said "Someone who is sexually frustrated is more likely to find themselves committing adultery as a result of it." A person who is sexually frustrated should rely on God to help them overcome it instead of trying to use it as an excuse to masturbate. God understands that sexual desires can become overwhelming, but His desire is for you to turn to Him for help. Personally, if someone says they are trying to control their sexual desires, I cannot trust the sincerity of that person's words if said person masturbates. Masturbating helps propitiate a sexual appetite. It does not help a person overcome that sexual appetite.
You are very right. I made that last point in my first post in this topic (I think), that masturbation is addictive (especially in conjunction with pornography) and that it can lead to more extreme behavior. Masturbation probably would do little to ease sexual desires for someone within a marriage setting. It would, to say the least, be much more honorable for one to remain abstinent along with his or her spouse.
For the last quote, I posted it to show that a person will suffer no harm by avoiding sexual desires. It is possible for a person to abstain from masturbation, fornication, adultery, etc. To say that a person will succumb to adultery just because he is not allowed to masturbate is silly. Not only are we humans that can choose to succumb to temptation or not, but we are also Christians who can call upon the name of God when presented with temptation. A person must make numerous conscious decisions in order to have an affair. It's not like you are walking down the street naked and happen to slam into a person of the opposite gender who happens to be naked too, and oops! you had an affair. A person does not need to masturbate in order to avoid melting into a heap of boiling hormones.
Eh, I have to disagree slightly here. It has been shown that men who regularly achieve orgasm (sorry, awkward thing to say to a female so bluntly) have a reduced chance of developing prostate cancer. I have a feeling that the "chances" are barely affected though, as these things are always skewed. I don't think that would be enough to justify it by any means. I've already conceded to your other point, however,
Masturbation is akin to adultery to me. My husband would be having sex with someone else (himself). Honestly, I would not want to marry a man who has so little self-control that he cannot live without sex long enough to wait for me, or cannot live without sex period.
Just out of curiosity, would that mean that you would not marry a man who had been sexually active prior to a conversion experience of some kind? Or has a backslide period but rededicated himself to the Lord later on in life? And I agree that masturbation is a form of lesser adultery. I'm going to take a guess that you do not think that it is a lesser form, but we will just have to agree to disagree.
Alright, this is some difficult exegesis that I wish I could articulate as well as my one of my Bible Professors can. Much of what I said is the result of theology that comes from daily observation of God's creation. Especially the parts about relationships with people and with God being the most important part of our purpose. I'm going to guess that you've heard someone say before that God created us to having relationship with us. I'd say that is half of the equation, the other half being where we need to love our neighbors and enemies and everyone else you can think of.
Dietrich Bonhoeffer said it well in
The Cost of Discipleship. I will try to find it. From chapter 13 "The Enemy- The Extraordinary".
And who needs our love more than those who are consumed with hatred and are utterly devoid of love? Who in other words deserves our love more than our enemy?... We are to serve our enemy in all things without hypocrisy and with utter sincerity. No sacrifice which a lover would make for his beloved (This is me not Bonhoeffer. Think Jesus on the cross for us, His beloved)is too great for us to make for our enemy... The disciple can now perceive that even his enemy is the object of God's lovem and that he stands like himself beneath the cross of Christ. God asked us nothing about our virtues or our vices, for in his sight even our virtue was ungodliness.
There was something else he said about how essentially we really shouldn't see ourselves as having enemies because, how can we call someone we love our enemy? I can't find an exact quote, I must have failed to underline it when I read the book.
Yeah, I don't really know why I posted that, but it's good stuff isn't it? You should read it if you get the chance and you haven't already.
Anyway, the scripture for that (which I'm sure you've heard a thousand times or more) is Matthew 5:44
"But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you".
And Matthew 22:36-40
"'Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?'"
Jesus replied: 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and all your soul and with all your mind, This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself. All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.'"
And what I said about marriage being the most important relationship that can exist between two people. (A side note: I just found my copy of Mere Christianity. woot woot. Not what I was looking for though haha) (Well, I was TRYING to find my Gospels commentary. Not idea why it isn't with every other commentary that I own... as well as the other textbook from the class I had the commentary for. I need bookshelves).
Matthew 5: 31-32. "It has been said, Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce. But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, causes her to become an adulteress, and anyone who marries the divorced woman commits adultery."
Essentially, the bond of marriage is so strong that the only way for it to truly be broken is to have sex with someone else. That is why someone "only has permission" (poor word choice) to divorce if the spouse has committed adultery. In that instance, it is as though they aren't married anymore anyway, so the divorce is more legal than referring to the spiritual separation of the two who are one flesh. If divorce occurs, that spiritual union (the one flesh) still occurs if no adultery had taken place. The reason why Jesus specifically points out the woman here as being the adulteress if her husband divorces her is because in that society, a divorced woman either remarried, or starved to death. She HAS to marry or she will die. Which is why His logical conclusion there is that she becomes an adulteress from the divorce.
I hope my explanation was adequate.
Or the person could start working on getting some self-control.
If a person is a glutton, we do not advocate them finding different ways to continue eating as much just so that they don't end up binge eating, because we tried to deprive them of over-eating. We tell the person to eat less. We give them food to help decrease their appetites. We don't provide them with a dessert that will only serve to increase their appetite.
Likewise, if someone is obsessed with sex, we should not provide them with the dessert of masturbation. We should help that person get their sexual urges under control. Give them books, pray for them, send them to counseling, Gibbs-slap them.
Well, it isn't really all that easy for some people. Remember, different people have their own individual capacities which God is fully aware of. Honestly though, i can't really envision a scenario where masturbation is a wise choice for someone who craves sex. If anything, tempting their sex drive without fulfilling it is probably more likely to lead to an affair rather than less.
Are you in college? I hope so. You're very good at presenting well structured arguments where you back up what you're saying.
