Eccentric

[Funrider]

...I am not mocking the word. I am not insulting God. I am not rebellious. I am just sick and tired of being sick and tired of being sick and tired...of running in circles.

If I keep pressing on, I may alienate even more people. The objective, for me, is to discover a way forward, not drive a wedge between two opposing sides.

I can't continue this conversation. I asked God to forgive me of my mountain of sins that were accumulated within the past 2 months.

This scripture better be real. IT BETTER BE REAL.

[h=1]Matthew 6:33King James Version (KJV)[/h]33 But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.


I will remain focused on this. I also make the commitment never to come as strong as I've come across on this post. It only served to alienate. Any future posting I do, will be in a spirit of maturity, harmony, and fellowship. As the saying goes, if you want honey, dont kick over the beehive.

To close, and address the latest posts:

PeterJens: Fine. I give up the sword. Benevolence is greater than blood.

wolfwint: No one can do what Jesus did. No one has, and no one ever will be able to do what Jesus had done. I dont see the value in being in relationship with the LORD, but...but...at this stage, I will come to him with the understanding that perhaps I do not know what having a relationship with the LORD is. If he's a father who disciplines his children, maybe I'll stop fighting him. It's not easy being the "jipped sibling", watching others get more blessing, but who am I to complain. God is god, and I cant fight him into submission, so I guess it's either submit or go occult. I still dont understand the complacency of most Christians, and their sense of love they feel for the LORD. I still insist it's a mental programming of spirit, and a denial of achievement. We'll see what happens.

blue_ladybug: It's not the money. I could care less for any form of currency or fiat money. The money factor represents broken dreams and struggle. You've made up your mind about me. Sorry you feel that way.

biblicalsandy: Thanks for your gentle words.


Maybe I took this verse too literally a while back:

[h=3]1 Corinthians 10:13 ESV[/h]No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.


There's always an escape hatch. I figured...fight and prod at the truths for a while, and see if I can learn how to better deal with this..."relationship" God wants with me...well, I will now focus my time on how to be more of an encourager to others than writing posts on why God isn't who I expected him to be.

May you all receive more blessing for putting up with this. Sorry.

 

[Bushido8000]

So, let's keep it simple here. I dont want to waste time arguing with any of you. I want to find points of relateability and UNIFICATION with you under the name of Christ. PLEASE UNDERSTAND, I'm not complacent like most of you. I have strong ambitions and goals, and I will call out God if I find it necessary...but if I find a means to secure a future through him, I would not have a need to hold God accountable on the lack of forward progression in my life.

All I want to know is...why have secular professionals helped me 100x more than praying to the LORD ever has? Dont tell me the LORD sent me to these people through wisdom...to me, that's a cop-out on God's part. I will not give credit to the LORD if he himself is not the source of the blessing. Does the LORD arrange for certain blessings to be a part of people's lives, or is luck genuinely a factor?

I have a hard time...allowing my heart to trust that God is a caring God who takes care of his followers. I cannot see God as a provider. I see him as an obstacle, an opponent, an enemy, a tyrant, a limiting factor in personal achievement, a bully, an oppressor, a denier of blessing. I look at God, and I see HIM as a troll (PeterJens).

Can I expect the LORD to give to me and my family if I give to him first, or is he forever going to run me in circles, and throw more crap into my life. If he's there to help me, I give him 100% of all I have. If he's trolling me and leading me on a goose chase, what does that say about the faith?

Here's a question.

Does God bless people monetarily? Sure I've heard stories of God miraculously clearing one's debts (medical bills, w/e)
But does God really care if you live a monetarily comfortable life? Personally I don't believe so. I believe that's a very American way of thinking. A very Joel Osteen prosperity gospel way of thinking.

You say that you give 100% to Him. What do you mean by this? You're giving Him 100% of your time? Praying to Him constantly? Performing charity work for the needy? What exactly do you mean?

btw I'm not being a douche. These are serious questions that I'm curious about.

Also, in your last post you speak of moving forward. How much of your "moving forward" is defined by what American society/culture says it is and how much is it defined by what God says it is? What is "moving forward" to you? Are you sure that's what it really means?

 

[Funrider]

I cant answer that for you, Bushido. Not yet, at least.

Most users here ALSO cannot answer that for you. They dont seem to know either.

I am an American, and I am ambitious, and I do want a better life for me and my family. There are people ON THIS SITE who do not want that for themselves. I do not care for their opinion. If you're not where I want to be, I dont need you talking to me or advising me. If you ARE where I want to be, please make yourself known and tell me how you succeeded as a Christian. Love him or hate him, Joel Osteen has a powerful positive message to share with people, and I'd rather listen to him than half the crackpots existent on this, or any other christian chat site, or even the crazies at my own Church who are ignorant of the process of achievement. I'm tired of those people making me feel uncomfortable about going to Church.

The 100% the LORD wants from people is absolute faith in Christ...a denial of self, and a commitment to be in fellowship and a relationship with the LORD. The LORD wants us submissive to him, as we, supposedly, enjoy a 'relationship' with him as we advance towards eternal life, which is REAL and which Jesus made available to us on the death of his cross. This is real. We can never TRULY give 100% of ourselves, as we are sinful, but in Christ, we are forgiven, and led to repent for our sins and do our best to serve the LORD until the time comes to advance into the kingdom. This includes prayer, service, and all manners of works and faith, but all is meaningless without Christ to wash away our sins with his blood. The struggle is tougher when you're an ambitious achiever (Me), and WANT MORE while being saved. I will not settle for a subpar life if I can achieve a life of dignity and success IN CHRIST. I will find a way to be wealthy IN CHRIST. I know I wont find it here among most of you, but c'est la vie.

As for my view of 'moving forward', Bushido, It's getting income, being able to design my lifestyle around being the best I can be for Christ, while progressively building a network of believers, leaders, servers, and achievers who can put positive sunshine on other's lives, something that, in my opinion, the LORD doesn't do enough of.

Bushido, the BIBLE...the HOLY WORD...has the truest truth. Do not listen to me, necessarily. DEFINITELY discern what others says on this site, and make sure it makes sense. The holy word of God is the ABSOLUTE authority. If you want to truly understand Christ, seek a Church that has a pastor that preaches the cross, and who lines up with teaching of the spirit in Christ. I am not one to lead you yet in terms of Christ.

Bear in mind, you may find a breakthrough before I do. Please beware of what 95% of the people on this site tell you. They dont get it. They never will. Find someone who KNOWS the spirit. Find someone who doesn't get their feathers ruffled at DIRECT CONVERSATION.

Most of all, dont ever be like me. I question EVERYTHING. The faster you love Christ without needing additional merit or reason outside of the word, or his life, the easier tolerating the crap of life will be. I NEED ANSWERS. I NEED RESULTS. But if you can CHOOSE not to require either of those things, you're on your way to being a HAPPY servant of Christ.

It's your choice. I recommend you be a better person than me, and be thankful for all you have. I WILL NEVER BE THANKFUL FOR ANYTHING THAT OCCURRED IN MY LIFE. But YOU can. That's the difference.

 

[blue_ladybug]

All I see in your posts, is me me me, and I I I.. You want a better life, that's understandable. WE ALL want better lives for ourselves and our families. BUT you expect INSTANT answers, and INSTANT results. God doesn't work that way. He answers on HIS timetable, not YOURS. You could choose to be thankful for everything you have, but you're not. Why? YOU didn't acquire any of it on your own, GOD DID. Be thankful that your parents are gracious enough to let you live with them at the age of 26. Be thankful that you're able to reach out for help. Though you're asking the wrong person for help. ASK GOD. Then sit back and wait until he answers. It may take weeks or months, but if you are proactive with looking for a job and an apartment, I guarantee things will come together for you. But you've got to stop acting like a spoiled, greedy ungrateful Judas first. Get the love of money and riches out of your heart, make room for Jesus in there instead..

 

[Funrider]

IF I make room for Jesus in my heart (Which I currently believe is an unprofitable waste of time)...WILL THINGS CHANGE? Can I walk with Jesus towards a better tomorrow

...or Is Jesus merely what I always suspected him to be: A loser's consolation prize for not being able to succeed in the world

 

[biblicalsandy]

IF I make room for Jesus in my heart (Which I currently believe is an unprofitable waste of time)...WILL THINGS CHANGE? Can I walk with Jesus towards a better tomorrow

...or Is Jesus merely what I always suspected him to be: A loser's consolation prize for not being able to succeed in the world

If he was not profitable, why do you come here to seek what you call useless? To me, you are still finding value as you have been established here on CC since Nov. 30th, 2013. This is intriguing to me! Sincerely the loser in your eyes!

 

[blue_ladybug]

IF I make room for Jesus in my heart (Which I currently believe is an unprofitable waste of time)...WILL THINGS CHANGE? Can I walk with Jesus towards a better tomorrow

...or Is Jesus merely what I always suspected him to be: A loser's consolation prize for not being able to succeed in the world

If your a loser who can't succeed in this world, that's YOUR OWN FAULT. Don't go blaming God. He didn't put you where you are now.. Grow up, and get proactive in bettering your life. God will only help you, if you help yourself.

 

[blue_ladybug]

If he was not profitable, why do you come here to seek what you call useless? To me, you are still finding value as you have been established here on CC since Nov. 30th, 2013. This is intriguing to me! Sincerely the loser in your eyes!

Sandy, in every post he makes, he bemoans the fact that his life is crap, and blames God for it. One minute he says he won't trade Jesus for ANYTHING, then goes on to say that he'd betray Jesus for money and fame. He expects Jesus to magically pull him out of this pity party pit he's currently in. He's not thankful for anything, he says God isn't good. If he'd stop moaning and beaching about "woe is me me me", maybe God would help him. With this crappy attitude, I totally understand why God WON'T help him.

 

[Blain]

funrider I cannot believe I only just found your thread here. people seem to think there is something off about you and that your are just basically different not the norm and you seem to want to be the norm but honestly I don't think you should. You are a fantastic person just as you are, being different or weird in others eyes is exactly how Jesus was. His words and teachings and his ways of doing things were not normal and many didn't like it and yet because of this he saved all of mankind.

I am not normal either, I have never fit it into any kind of group of ppl my child like nature and my innocents is annoying to some ppl but yet it is because of my childlike nature and my innocent like vibe that I am able to befriend almost any kind of person. Being weird and strange is a great quality to have as a Christian and the people who live for this world find it odd and that is normal because Jesus dealt with this very thing. Besides weird is the new normal, I mean ten years ago as a nerd you get flushies and get picked on nowadays being a nerd or geek is the new cool.

You are not simply weird or abnormal you are special because of your qualities and the exact kind of person that God can use for great things

 

[jsr1221]

IF I make room for Jesus in my heart (Which I currently believe is an unprofitable waste of time)...WILL THINGS CHANGE? Can I walk with Jesus towards a better tomorrow

...or Is Jesus merely what I always suspected him to be: A loser's consolation prize for not being able to succeed in the world

I'm guessing you're not familiar with the book of Job.. I suggest you read it.

 

[PeterJens]

Funrider,

The trouble of a bitter spirit, is it pollutes everything within you. Even if God gave you wealth and all you desire, your soul is still lost, complaining. The simple realities are there in front of you but you go for the illusions saying in these things I will get the prize I desire. But as so many have discovered there is no arriving there is only money and the same life you have always lived.

A questionaire was put out asking people, how much money would they like to have to make them happy. Everyone, the rish of poor said the same thing twice what they currently have. So the lie they are living with is they can imagine the place they want to live it is just around the corner, and to get there is only possible with a bit more money. To face the reality it is bitterness or lack of appreciation of the blessing they already have that is the problem, not the feeling of being hard done by, and seeing the dream in other peoples eyes.

 

[Blain]

IF I make room for Jesus in my heart (Which I currently believe is an unprofitable waste of time)...WILL THINGS CHANGE? Can I walk with Jesus towards a better tomorrow

...or Is Jesus merely what I always suspected him to be: A loser's consolation prize for not being able to succeed in the world

God helps those who help themselves

 

[Ahwatukee]

IF I make room for Jesus in my heart (Which I currently believe is an unprofitable waste of time)...WILL THINGS CHANGE? Can I walk with Jesus towards a better tomorrow

...or Is Jesus merely what I always suspected him to be: A loser's consolation prize for not being able to succeed in the world

Greetings Funrider,

Yes, you can walk with Jesus towards a better tomorrow, it's call forgiveness of sins and eternal life. In opposition to that is, accountability for all sin and eternal separation from God in the lake of fire, for there is no middle ground. Not believing in him does not make a person exempt from the consequences. All have sinned and the wages of sin is death, which is both physical and spiritual. All sin must be accounted for. For those who are trusting in Christ as the One who paid the penalty for their sins with his own blood, he was held accountable for their sins, but for those who do not trust in him, they will be accountable for their own sins and will be those who are judged at the great white throne judgment. Needless to say, there is no happy ending for those who reject him.

 

[Miri]

Funrider,

You remind me very much of someone in the bible,
Saul, later renamed Paul - have a read at Acts ch 9-11

He was intelligent, he was ambitious, he wanted to pursue his
career to such a degree that he was willing to do whatever it took.
No doubt he was motivated by money, he described himself as the
chief sinner of sinners later on . I've always wondered why he hated
Christians so much. Maybe he was angry at God like you are, who knows.

But then God came on the scene and turned everything he thought he
knew completely upside down and you know what, he realised he knew
nothing! (When a person is full of themselves there is no room for God).

Its interesting though that he seems to have had a talent for correspondence.
He obtained letters of authority to persecute Christians but he ended up
writing a large chunk of the New Testament, he had a gift but it was
misdirected until God showed him a better path.

Its getting to the crunch time when you will have to decide who you will
serve, a double minded person is unstable in all their ways. Read the
following does it sound like you?

James 1:5-8 NLT
[5] If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you.
He will not rebuke you for asking. [6] But when you ask him, be sure that
your faith is in God alone. Do not waver, for a person with divided loyalty
is as unsettled as a wave of the sea that is blown and tossed by the wind.
[7] Such people should not expect to receive anything from the Lord.
[8] Their loyalty is divided between God and the world, and they are unstable
in everything they do.


Joshua 24:15 AMP
[15] ..... choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods
which your fathers served on the other side of the River, or the gods of the
Amorites, in whose land you dwell; but as for me and my house, we will serve
the Lord.

 

[Funrider]

I need to take time to respond to all of you. I really do appreciate the feedback. To give you a sight as to where I am now, I'm relaxing my hostility towards the situation, and trying to listen to what everyone is saying.

I need time to clear my mind. I dont want to keep raging.

 

[Blain]

I need to take time to respond to all of you. I really do appreciate the feedback. To give you a sight as to where I am now, I'm relaxing my hostility towards the situation, and trying to listen to what everyone is saying.

I need time to clear my mind. I dont want to keep raging.

My friend the wisdom you have just shown in your response shows that God is working in your heart

 

[Funrider]

Took time to clear my mind.

I tried to write this post 13 times, but each time, I deleted it. I want to keep it as simple as possible.

Here's the bottom line folks. This is where my angst...my eccentricity...comes from:

I want to win...to succeed...to have wealth and prosperity...to find a beautiful woman...to raise a family free from the status quo...to have material wealth...my choice of associates, friends, and family...my choice of vocation...enough money to keep my family financially free...the connections to make a difference in the world...

I want all of those things...way more than I want or care for Jesus Christ.

I thought Jesus could heal my pain. He was useless
I thought Jesus could be a friend to me. He was never there.
I thought Jesus could guide me on the right path. I am still looking for it.
I thought Jesus could keep me calm in the storm. I got tossed and turned anyway
I thought Jesus was peace, joy, and love. I feel chaos, sorrow, and hate.
I thought Jesus cared. I came to know he doesn't.

I'm at my end with following Jesus. I DO NOT WANT to continue walking with him. I do not see the point, or benefit, of me giving my faith to someone who cant fix my past. I can change my future, however. I can decide, as of this moment, to apply change and create my own paradise within 2-5 years of consistent effort.

Jesus failed me. No love, no joy, no peace for six years. I cannot give him another second of my time.

Personally, I gave it my all to find Christ. He never showed up. Either he's a coward, or he never existed. I believe 100% of you are delusional and truly kidding yourselves that he's active in your life. That is the conclusion I arrived at.

I gave it EVERYTHING I had. I look back on these six years as a wild goose chase. I tricked myself REAL GOOD into thinking I had a relationship with Jesus, when in reality, I was talking to myself, trying to invent my own personal understanding of Christ.

If he's real, he will never show his face, and continue to be a coward hiding in the shadows.
If he isn't real, then I am truly insane, and need a psych evaluation for trying to invent an invisible defense mechanism called Jesus.

I'm done folks. Hate me all you want. Christ isn't true to me anymore.
He never was. I was following a pipe dream.

I'm done.

 

[VioletReigns]

The above post reminds me of the rich young ruler who couldn't give up his own agenda and follow Jesus. It sounded like a good deal to him when he first heard about salvation, but as soon as Jesus pointed out that the young man's riches were more important, he became disappointed and walked away from the Lord.

Did Jesus chase after him? Did Jesus beg him not to go? Did Jesus try to change the young man's mind? Nope, he didn't.

Why? Because the young man's heart was hard and he could not recognize he was walking as an enemy of Christ. He thought he deserved salvation because he obeyed some rules. He was walking in the flesh and our flesh can receive nothing from the Holy Spirit because our flesh is God's enemy.

I pray God's will be done in Funrider's life in Jesus' name. Amen. ♥

 

[PeterJens]

I'm done folks. Hate me all you want. Christ isn't true to me anymore.
He never was. I was following a pipe dream.

I'm done.

I am the gate, whoever enters through me will be saved.
John 10:9

But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.
Matt 6:33

Seeking the kingdom is walking in His ways. Forgiveness, love, repentance, giving, good works, honouring your parents etc.
If you do not start with being born again, then one is trying to break into the kingdom through ones own works which is impossible. It is like trying to start a car without the keys or access to the garage. It does not matter how hard you try, you are not following the rules.


"I gave it EVERYTHING I had"

Putting Jesus first in terms of love above all else, is not reflected by your heart. You have not even understood the emptiness of wealth, and the richness of relationships. Your interactions indicate that you are a loner and cannot relate to anyone. It is therefore hard for you to relate to the King, who understands and relates to us all.

Your pipe dream was to be made into something you are not without you having to change which is impossible.
Jesus spoke to you, and you have walked the other way.

So you are not giving up on Jesus, just on your attempts to storm the kingdom.

 

[Funrider]

Applied to 10 jobs, 3 got back to me, all 3 said no. 2 wanted Bachelors degrees, 1 went with another candidate.

Doing another round today.

So, where's God? Care to tell me where he is?