The resemblance between this part of your testimony and my own personal struggles seem almost uncanny. Its rather unsettling and very strange to see someone going through something very similar to what I was dealing with all my life.
Depending on how LONG and WHEN these thoughts and fears started creeping into your mind will really help you to understand the core of the problem. Did these things start happening after you were saved by Jesus? Or was fear always there and then the fear of making God angry just become another fear after being saved?
If you've always dealt with this fear whether you were afriad of not pleasing God or fears of other things before being saved then I agree with someone who brought up that it sounds like OCD (
How should a Christian view Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD)? ) . This is part of something I went through that tried to hijack and control my every thought (
How can I take control of my thoughts? ) . If over time when you start to grow in the faith and it doesn't get any better and just stays the same you might want to have this checked out by a doctor. Some things are indeed medical and are not just fears that we give ourselves. God can and will work through medicines/counselling and things such as these if we need them.
And on the other hand if this is something that has been happening after you were saved and the thoughts are all about fearing that you've made God upset then its more than likely a form of spiritual warefare (
What does the Bible say about spiritual warfare? ). If this is something you've dealt with the most out of all your sins and struggles and if it is the core reason you've been doing stupid things or messing up it is only a fight being put up by the enemy. The enemy knows what our weaknesses are and if this seems to be yours no doubt he'd try to use it against you.
It could be a mixture of both. All you need to do is put this into God's hands and pray for wisdom about what it is exactly you are going through and what you need to do to get better. The best thing to do whether this is medical or just spiritual warfare is to constantly be in the bible. Reading and studying, growing in and meditating on the word is VERY important for spiritual growth. As well as for mental, physical and emotional struggles. We are not to live by bread alone but by every word from God. Jesus stated how important it is to be in the word daily and as much as you can. Continue to grow in your relationship with God and trust Jesus no matter what you do. Completely let the Holy Spirit take over and help you (walking in the Spirit Romans 8:1-17 read this). Never give up hope, stay strong and focus on Jesus.
What does the bible say about fear?
What does the Bible say about fear?
(Verses to look at when you are afriad: Psalm 4:8 Psalm 23:4 Isaiah 35:4 Romans 8:37-39 2 Corinthians 1:10 2 Timothy 1:7 Hebrews 13:6)
Is there any sin that God will not forgive?
Is there any sin that God will not forgive?
(Verses about God's forgiveness: 2 Chronicles 7:14 Psalm 103:8-12 Jeremiah 31:34 Luke 15:3-7 Acts 10:43 Ephesians 1:7 1 John 1:9)
Jesus I just pray here for Fubario. We put him in your hands Jesus and we lift him up in your name. I pray for his thoughts, his actions and the core reason all of this is happening to be healed. I pray you will give him the widsom, courage and strength that he needs to carry on in life with you. The Holy Spirit is welcomed here in Jesus name and I pray your Spirit God will over flow inside of Fubario, that he never gives up hope and allows you to work in his life. I pray for his trust in you and for this fear that is tormenting him to leave. Jesus he is feeling scared I pray that he can remember that there is peace even in the middle of the storm that can be found in you Jesus. Let him find peace in and with you.
