I have been unemployed for almost 2 years now, and the ordeal is really beginning to take it's toll on me. Even before my recent spat of unemployment I had a couple of bad breaks (bad job, loss of parents, struggles in school) but for the most part I am a highly motivated person. In the face of those troubles, I eventually (sometimes it took a second to get my footing) found my motivation to keep on trucking. I am highly focused, and that's what kept me motivated. Then I got out of school, and have yet to find a job. For some reason it is this problem that really seems to bother me the most, it has essentially became the biggest struggle of my young life. At first, I did what I always do....put my nose to the grindstone and try to make things happen, but they didn't. It seemed that the harder I pushed, the less things would happen, and the more energy I would waste. On the bright side, I began to get closer with God (the closest I've ever been in my life). I began to accept the idea that God has a plan for me, and that he wouldn't allow a wrong door to open for me. I began to put my worries aside for awhile, and accept that God will shelter me in this troublesome time. I have prayed every prayer an unemployed person could pray. I asked for favor and wisdom, guidance and foresight. Perhaps I was trying to break into the wrong field? So I prayed for God to remove any wrong desires and replace them with things that are new, to rekindle some fire, give me some inspiration. Yet, I have received no response. I occasionally decide that it's time for me to go back into the foray, push as hard as I can to get a job. Yet again, every time I push, I get kicked down (and hard). Things almost miraculously never pan out. Either it was some budget cut, I don't have enough experience, I went to the wrong school, or it's just the "wrong time". I even have some people really like me, even want to vouch for me - but something always happens. They don't have enough clout or they just lose contact with me. Of course I'd go back to the praying, believing, bible reading, and sermon watching. Now I am beginning to get frustrated, really frustrated. I see my friends (many who are non believers) easily get jobs. They see me struggling and often times try to give my unwarranted (almost aggressive) advice. I feel guilt for being unemployed, embarrassment, and I'm tired of this. I'm so tired of this that I have begun to almost resent God. Why can't he just take his hand off of me? This feeling that I'd be better off if he just left me alone. Why is it that I as a Christian have to have bad breaks? I don't want a miracle anymore, I don't want a "purpose", I merely want to survive!
What is going on!? Why won't God just leave me alone!
Two years ago I lost my professional medical career, I was lukewarm in the church, dead to God, alive to my flesh and its desires, and utterly hopeless as I sat there in tears in my fancy house and huge debt.
Ok, you need to stop blaming God, this is very foolish as I learned, quit worrying about the godless who prosper, read Psalms 37 and 73 as starters, and understand God isnt concerned with our comfort but more of our faith(obedience) to His truth.
I had a choice as well as you, to either reject God, blame Him for my failures and loss, or fall on my face, cut to my heart in repentance and brokeness for all my sins, selfishness and fear of man, I do not know you, or your heart, but IF you are IN wilfull sin against God, you need to do your first works and repent, then seek His mercy, as God has nothing for those who reject Him and His truth.
God led me out of my mess, humbled me as I left the organized church who was no help at all, got into deep prayer and study of scripture, asuming nothing from God, He is not a respector of persons, but gives mercy to contrite and a humble heart, made pure through the process of godly sorrow, leading to repentance and salvation.
You may end up in the street, as I almost did, but this diddnt concen me, I was in deep sin, following the doctrines of demons, and blaming God for the mess I created.
This is a test for you young man, will you pass?
Come clean before God, do not listen to the false messages coming from the prosperity churches, get right with God as your eternal desteny depends on it, then the Lord IF He sees fit witll lead you out of your hard times, but as with me it was a long process and test, I endured through the lies and desperate times of great temptation to seek comfort on my flesh, but I endured and God blessed me with a very humble exhistance, no where near what I had before, but I am full of Joy as Jesus led me out of the darkness into His marvelious light!
A true repentant heart!
Luk 7:36 And one of the Pharisees asked Him to eat with him. And going into the Pharisee's house, He reclined.
Luk 7:37 And behold, a woman, a sinner in the city, knowing that He reclined in the Pharisee's house, brought an alabaster vial of ointment.
Luk 7:38 And she stood behind Him, weeping at His feet, and she began to wash His feet with tears and wipe them with the hair of her head. And she ardently kissed His feet and anointed them with the ointment.
Luk 7:39 But seeing this, the Pharisee who had invited Him, spoke within himself, saying, This man, if he were a prophet, would have known who and what kind of woman this is who touches him, for she is a sinner.
Luk 7:48 And He said to her, Your sins are forgiven.
Luk 7:49 And those reclining with Him began to say within themselves, Who is this who even forgives sins?
Luk 7:50 And He said to the woman, Your faith(obedience) has saved you, go in peace.
When asked the question, do you have to stop sinning in order to be saved, and receive the mercy of God, many pastors, ministers, and professing Christians will proudly boast, NO! If we could stop sinning, then we wouldn't need Jesus!
Is this the truth? Does Jesus look the other way when we come to Him, still wallowing in our vile sins? 1Jn 3:8 He that committeth sin is of the devil; for the devil sinneth from the beginning. For this purpose the Son of God was manifested, that he might destroy the works of the devil.
1Jn 3:9 Whosoever is born of God doth not commit sin; for his seed remaineth in him: and he cannot sin, because he is born of God.
I believe the scriptures are clear concerning sin, repentance, and forgiveness, as in the story above from Luke, which is the epitome of true biblical repentance.
The woman who was a known sinner, came to Jesus broken and at the end of her rope! She boldly entered the building where Jesus was, didn't worry about what anyone thought of her, and had one thing on her mind. She was all business, and knew what she needed to do to receive the mercy of God, and be forgiven for her past sins against God, which were many.
She knew she couldn't be forgiven until she did one thing, and that was to repent, forsake her sins, and seek the mercy of God, she knew Jesus well, and that His only requirement to enter into eternal life was repentance and faith proven by deeds, Act 20:21 Testifying both to the Jews, and also to the Greeks, repentance toward God, and faith toward our Lord Jesus Christ.
This woman did something that astounded the Pharisees at the time, as she fell to her knees before Jesus, crying in great remorse and godly sorrow, having a crisis of conviction before her savior. She totally humbled herself by washing Jesus feet with her tears, and wiping them dry with her hair, then anointing them with precious oils and perfume.
This woman's faith was astonishing for all to see, as she obediently repented of all her sins, assuming nothing from Jesus, begging Him for mercy for her many sins of the flesh!
This woman in her great zeal, fear, and distress, stopped her sinning right there before Jesus granted her forgiveness and mercy, she stopper her sinning right then and there, which granted her favor and mercy from God. Jas 4:6 But He gives more grace. Therefore He says, God resists the proud, but He gives grace to the humble. This woman proved her repentance to Jesus, by her deeds! it wasn't a show, or a mere confession to hopefully stop the sin someday, and from the story I can gather, she knew in her heart, she has to put her great sins against God to death, once and for all, there at Jesus feet!
She then went on to be a strong disciple of Christ, following Him to the end, and not once do we read where she continued in unrepentant sin, as she was not saved IN her sins, but out of them, to become a light on a hill, shining brightly against the religious system, that were defiled in their hearts, but squeaky clean on the outside.
This woman came clean from the inside out, put her sins to death in repentance, before Christ would forgive her, and grant her mercy.
She did not save herself as many would accuse, she knew what she needed to do, through her free will and ability God gave her at birth, and exercised her choice to break up the fallow ground, forsake her sins, at the foot of Christ, clearing away her vile sins, that softened Jesus heart, and He forgave her of her sins, because He knew her repentance was real, and through, lacking nothing, as she came to her end, became savable and cleared of her wrong doings against God.
Now she didn't go on to sin less and less as many teach today, known as gradual sanctification, but went on to serve the living God in humility, with a pure and undefiled heart, made pure through her repentance and faith, proven by her deeds!
It’s the love, mercy, and longsuffering of God that should drive all men to their knees in humble repentance, just as the woman did, assuming nothing from God, and proving her repentance was real through her actions and great love for her master and king.
We all can learn a lot form this woman, especially about repentance and faith, and what God expects from each and every one of us, where the sin stops in repentance, or the heart hardens, it’s that simple, we have a free will choice as the woman did, and her love, devotion, zeal, and passion to get right with God, and receive forgiveness for her sins was simply amazing, and proof of when the sin must stop!
Remember God is longsuffering and wants no one to perish, but for all to come to repentance and a working, loving faith in Him and His son Jesus Christ, who died on the cross, as a sin offering, to set us free from the bondage's of sin and corruption coming from the world.
Heb 9:14 how much more shall the blood of Christ (who through the eternal Spirit offered Himself without spot to God) purge your conscience from dead works to serve the living God?
Tommy
PS. Remember that when a true conversion happens, it’s not about sinless perfection in any way. The truly repentant heart will still make mistakes, and still is without fault, but in no way do they continue in unrepentant sins that lead to death.
Instead of sinning less and less, you should be growing more in the light given to you, as well as in the knowledge and grace of God, keeping your heart pure, and sincere, working out your salvation each and every day with fear and trembling, standing fast, guarding your heart, enduring, abstaining from all forms of evil, coming out from the world and false teachings, keeping yourself unspotted from the world, keeping the word pure, hiding it in your heart and mind, forsaking the popular things of the world, keeping yourself pure, and uncompromised with the world and its evil ways!
