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~~Mods, I posted this first in the Christian Singles forum, i thought this was a better place for it. Remove the orignial if you would like~~
Where do I start on this? Please forgive me for the length of this...
I have been dating this girl for over 9 months, we are both Christians, we met at Church and serve together there. Things at our church have always been hard though, and we really haven't been growing there, I think that it has hampered our relationship for a long time. Before I starting dating her, I was interested in another girl, lets call her girl A (that didnt like me) and she liked me at that point (i thought she was fun, but wasnt interested in her in that way.) Well after lots of prayer and long convos, I ended up dating my gf. However throughout our entire relationship, my gf didnt trust me around girl A who also goes to our church. In fact, she always had trust issues and didn't want me to really even talk to girls from my work. I thought all this was normal as she is my first real gf (i am in my mid 20s).
Things were going fine for a while, we never had major problems in our relationship. And I really do Love her. She is the first girl I kissed and the first girl I ever said "I love you" to. We had fun together most the time, and when things were hard we tried to resolve it in prayer and by communication.
Then, a few months ago things started getting rough. Lust became a problem in our relationship, and thank God we didn't have sex, it is only by his grace that we resisted that temptation. She became more short tempered with me and we were not having as much fun anymore. I thought of it as just a lull in our relationship and something we would get through...
Another thing you should know is that I have been a Christian all my life, she has not and she was taken advantage of by a previous BF and abused by another. She has a lot of baggage in her life and has been through counseling for some of it.
Then about 2 weeks ago I find out that she is having trouble because she has more fun with a guy from work than she has with me, and she doesn't understand why. He is not a Christian and has been to jail and is over 10 years older than her. She says that she so confused with her life and doesn't know if she is a Christian or not anymore. I prayed with her and tried to talk her down but she said she just needed a break to figure herself out. The day after she said that, I found out (from her telling me) that she watched a movie with him and he tried to kiss her. She put herself in that position and she has ran errends for her job with him since.
Now, I know this guy is not her only issue, she has baggage from previously in her life and I was willing to work with her though that. We were talking about "taking the next step" in our relationship when everything turned bad.
Now I have been praying and praying about this as we have had little contact for 2 weeks (she is on a family vacation). I don't want to lose her as a girlfriend but it will be hard for me to gain her trust back. I also still do Love her. I don't know if i love her as a sister in Christ now, or if I love her as a companion. I don't want to break things off with her for good and have this guy ending up hurting her more. It's such a hard situation and we are supposed to talk in a few days when she returns from vacation. Please advise with any thoughts on this. I have asked other friends about this and family and have various ideas.
Thanks to you who have actually read this whole thing. I will provide any more info if you need.
Where do I start on this? Please forgive me for the length of this...
I have been dating this girl for over 9 months, we are both Christians, we met at Church and serve together there. Things at our church have always been hard though, and we really haven't been growing there, I think that it has hampered our relationship for a long time. Before I starting dating her, I was interested in another girl, lets call her girl A (that didnt like me) and she liked me at that point (i thought she was fun, but wasnt interested in her in that way.) Well after lots of prayer and long convos, I ended up dating my gf. However throughout our entire relationship, my gf didnt trust me around girl A who also goes to our church. In fact, she always had trust issues and didn't want me to really even talk to girls from my work. I thought all this was normal as she is my first real gf (i am in my mid 20s).
Things were going fine for a while, we never had major problems in our relationship. And I really do Love her. She is the first girl I kissed and the first girl I ever said "I love you" to. We had fun together most the time, and when things were hard we tried to resolve it in prayer and by communication.
Then, a few months ago things started getting rough. Lust became a problem in our relationship, and thank God we didn't have sex, it is only by his grace that we resisted that temptation. She became more short tempered with me and we were not having as much fun anymore. I thought of it as just a lull in our relationship and something we would get through...
Another thing you should know is that I have been a Christian all my life, she has not and she was taken advantage of by a previous BF and abused by another. She has a lot of baggage in her life and has been through counseling for some of it.
Then about 2 weeks ago I find out that she is having trouble because she has more fun with a guy from work than she has with me, and she doesn't understand why. He is not a Christian and has been to jail and is over 10 years older than her. She says that she so confused with her life and doesn't know if she is a Christian or not anymore. I prayed with her and tried to talk her down but she said she just needed a break to figure herself out. The day after she said that, I found out (from her telling me) that she watched a movie with him and he tried to kiss her. She put herself in that position and she has ran errends for her job with him since.
Now, I know this guy is not her only issue, she has baggage from previously in her life and I was willing to work with her though that. We were talking about "taking the next step" in our relationship when everything turned bad.
Now I have been praying and praying about this as we have had little contact for 2 weeks (she is on a family vacation). I don't want to lose her as a girlfriend but it will be hard for me to gain her trust back. I also still do Love her. I don't know if i love her as a sister in Christ now, or if I love her as a companion. I don't want to break things off with her for good and have this guy ending up hurting her more. It's such a hard situation and we are supposed to talk in a few days when she returns from vacation. Please advise with any thoughts on this. I have asked other friends about this and family and have various ideas.
Thanks to you who have actually read this whole thing. I will provide any more info if you need.