Help with porn

[JB1988]

I am a young Christian woman and I hate to come out and speak this but I think it will help. I am saving myself for marriage however I self pleasure . I started watching porn about 2-3 years ago. Off and on... I thought I was over it but I still feel myself being pulled towards it. I don't know why? It doesn't make me feel the way it used to. Now it just makes me feel dirty. I always feel ashamed after doing it . But I keep going back.


I am asking for prayer and also for advice on how to break this.

Thank you in advance.

 

[gtr_newlycreated]

Hey, you're only as sick as your secrets and that fact that you just had the courage to share a secret may help lift the burden..I guess I dont really have an answer, Im far from perfect when its come to sexual sin, but when in doubt pray about it.

 

[Roughsoul]

Hey JB1988,

Hey I know what you mean because I got caught up in the porn addiction back in school back when I didn't follow God as close as I try to be now. I got away from it when I met my GF and now wife. And now that I am married with a 7 month old son and my wife is too tired a lot of times to have sex the devil creeps in to tempt me and I def. do not want to hurt my wife so I run from it. Jesus tell us its better to run than burn for all eternity or better to stab out one eye than to look at bad thing that lead to a eternity in hell. Please don't literally stab one eye out though lol.

We as humans were created by God to be attracted to the other. Its how we are wired and with the way the world is now that every movie, show, magazine, book, billboard can trigger these emotions. That's normal but unfortunately bad for us because its every where now. But God gives us guide lines on these emotions and we have to do our best about following them. It is a addiction that always wants more and as long as we have these emotion they will be their to tempt us.


Steps you can take is put passwords and put up things when you know your going to be alone because when your alone that's when your most tempted. RUN from temptations. Pray for strength and with God helping you create a good habit to make it hard to get to porn and when you cant get away RUN. And once the habit forms the temptations will also get weaker. They may never leave but you will be changed from the inside out with the help of God. And you will laugh and walk away saying I don't need it, thank you Lord.

A truly Rough soul that is not perfect but strives to be better and love God,
Roughsoul

 

[blue_ladybug]

I am a young Christian woman and I hate to come out and speak this but I think it will help. I am saving myself for marriage however I self pleasure . I started watching porn about 2-3 years ago. Off and on... I thought I was over it but I still feel myself being pulled towards it. I don't know why? It doesn't make me feel the way it used to. Now it just makes me feel dirty. I always feel ashamed after doing it . But I keep going back
I am asking for prayer and also for advice on how to break this.

Thank you in advance.

JB1988, the fact that you feel dirty means that you feel guilty because you know that porn is a sin..so is self-pleasuring, and the lord is convicting you of that sin by making you feel guilty about it. Do you have someone you can talk to about this addiction? Yes porn is an addiction. Maybe you talk to a counselor or someone like that. Repent this sin to God, tell him you are sincerely sorry and ask him for forgiveness. Good luck.

 

[Esanta]

I am a young Christian woman and I hate to come out and speak this but I think it will help. I am saving myself for marriage however I self pleasure . I started watching porn about 2-3 years ago. Off and on... I thought I was over it but I still feel myself being pulled towards it. I don't know why? It doesn't make me feel the way it used to. Now it just makes me feel dirty. I always feel ashamed after doing it . But I keep going back.


I am asking for prayer and also for advice on how to break this.

Thank you in advance.

The problem with pornographic material is that it gives a false sense of sexual fulfilment. It is, like most indulgences - in fact like almost everything that anyone ever does - an acute fix for a chronic problem. It gives you a momentary pleasure, just like chocolate or a hug or a cup of warm coffee, but it doesn't address the underlying craving itself, which is not momentary but consistent and considerable.

Because of this, you cling to it to alleviate whatever stress or tension or craving may be lying underneath, but you get attached to it and crave it more and eventually, at the point where it takes over, you come to depend on it.

Like any addiction it is just a form of escapism from what the real issue is. There's something you crave, let's say it is companionship, and if that craving isn't met then you turn to something else to fill the gap. But it doesn't fill the gap, because the craving for the real thing still exists beyond and between each video.

The issue is in fact deeper - it's the craving itself. Whatever you crave, whatever it is that you use porn to substitute for, is the thing that truly needs to be addressed.

Porn in itself won't make a person feel guilty, but substituting a cheap thrill for the thing of such massive worth - the thing you truly want - will make you feel like you've cheated yourself in some way. That's where the guilt comes from.

You know that porn doesn't do anything real for you - it doesn't give you the happiness you crave- but all the same you indulge in it if only to feel something for a moment or two.

So what it is that you truly crave?

 

[Ringer]

I am a young Christian woman and I hate to come out and speak this but I think it will help. I am saving myself for marriage however I self pleasure . I started watching porn about 2-3 years ago. Off and on... I thought I was over it but I still feel myself being pulled towards it. I don't know why? It doesn't make me feel the way it used to. Now it just makes me feel dirty. I always feel ashamed after doing it . But I keep going back.


I am asking for prayer and also for advice on how to break this.

Thank you in advance.

While most of the advice in this thread is good... I really believe the first step to getting rid of the addiction is already started. You're seeking help, but from people and anonymous strangers online. I think you have to go a little bit further than that.

First, are you working in a church in any form?
The reason I ask this is because watching pornography can make it so you are no longer allowed to work in a church position (it's a stupid rule and a lot of churches don't allow you to repent and find a way to recover).

Second, do you have a trusted friend or counselor? Someone you can work with to prevent this addiction from occurring. Having someone other than yourself watch out for you is a great way to start with getting rid of the addiction. Perhaps it cannot be someone close to you.

Third, if you stop watching it suddenly, make sure you watch out for other behaviors that might take it's place. Usually when people stop one addiction, they begin another. Be careful in that.

If you have any other questions, or want me to elaborate or ask for other suggestions, you can PM me anytime.
Take care.
- Ringer

 

[Yrrehc]

Wow, I am really amazed how brave you are in telling others about your struggles...I know it's not easy but you make a step to be free from this kind of addiction...It would be really great to share this issue to your mentor or to the people whom you trust and won't judge you...God Bless you, my sister in Christ...

 

[mailmandan]

I would like to commend you for your bravery and honesty for admitting you have an addiction to porn. A poll conducted by "the world's most visited Christian website" indicates a surprising number of Christians are addicted to pornography.

"The poll results indicate that 50% of Christian men and 20% of Christian women are addicted to pornography.

The group defines "addicted" as applied to pornography as use on an ongoing basis.

"We are seeing an escalation to the problem in both men and women who regularly attend church," said Bill Cooper, President of ChristiaNet.com.

"No one is immunized against the vice-grip clutches of sexual addictive behaviors," reads a release issued by the site. "The people who struggle with the repeated pursuit of sexual gratification include church members, deacons, staff, and yes, even clergy."

How many Christians (especially) men can honestly say, "whenever I am tempted to lust, I NEVER give in." I have 100% conquered that sin. No problem?

If David, who was “a man after God’s own heart,” and many other strong men and women of faith yielded to sexual temptation, it could happen to any of us. Pornography may be the new addiction of this new century. Researchers are finding that when people indulge in porn, they release powerful chemicals in their brain and body. Mark Kastleman, author of The Drug of the New Millennium, said, "There are a growing number of therapists and psychologists who are saying that this is as addictive as cocaine," or alcohol, or even heroin. He explained that, when people view porn, "It causes the brain to release what we call endogenous drugs or endogenous chemicals. 'Endogenous' meaning 'produced from within.' So where cocaine or alcohol seek to mimic the brain's natural chemicals, pornography releases the real deal. And so we have things like adrenaline, epinephrine, ACTH."

Due to our fallen nature, we will have to deal with the temptation to lust until we die. The temptation to lust will come in many forms including ungodly sexual appetites; and there are lusts, such as the lust of power, fame or position. We must rely on the power of the Holy Spirit inside us to overcome lust every day. This is possible, but you must first get very serious with God and truly want to give it up. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. (Philippians 4:13).

No matter the form of lust we face, we can be assured that we have a High Priest and Advocate with the Father who "understands every weakness of ours" and "was tempted in every way that we are. But He did not sin" (Hebrews 4:15; 1 John 2:1). Continue to pray without ceasing and ask the Lord to deliver you from this addiction.

 

[ChandlerFan]

Hey JB1988,
I think it's awesome that you took the step of bringing this struggle into the light on here. I know it's hard to come forward and admit sin like this that causes a lot of guilt and shame, but it really is so important.

I think the most important thing I could tell you is that having a person or a couple of people in your life that you can confess to is huge. I know this might seem like the hardest thing you've ever had to do, but keep an eye open for a woman in your life, whether your age or older, that you trust. Look for an opportunity to confess these things to her. Satan will try to tell us that people will look at us with disgust and lose all respect for us, but you have to know that's not true. In fact, people often gain more respect for you for being brave enough to confess those things just like I have gained respect for you opening up about it here.
I promise you that while it's helpful to post anonymously about it on the internet, there's something so freeing and liberating about going to someone you know and vocalizing these things you've done in the past. You so tangibly feel God's love and forgiveness in the moment, and it really does lift a weight off of you because those secrets don't have power over you anymore. You don't have to fight and struggle to keep them or deal with the guilt and shame alone. The Bible says to confess your sins to one another so that you may be healed, and that's exactly what happens.
Then from there you can ask that person to hold you accountable and can begin to take more steps to break free of this like putting accountability software on your computer and things like that.

But before anything else, I would really encourage you to seek someone out that you trust--ideally a woman who is a Christian--and confess these things to her. Pray for the strength to do that and that God would put a person like that in your life.

Also, know that God loves you so much, and He loves the present version of you now just as much as He would love a future version of you that is free from this addiction. His love isn't contingent on how much or little you sin. If you have accepted Jesus into your life, know that God has forgiven you of your sin and loves you so much, and desires even more than you do that you would break free from this, so pray and ask Him that He would help you do that. It's possible that it could happen in a really short amount of time, but it's probably more likely that it will be a process that could take some time. Just don't give up

There are other resources that I know are helpful, so you can PM me for those if you want, but I know they aren't going to be as helpful until you are able to let someone in your life in on this struggle.

All the best to you

 

[mistah]

I am a young Christian woman and I hate to come out and speak this but I think it will help. I am saving myself for marriage however I self pleasure . I started watching porn about 2-3 years ago. Off and on... I thought I was over it but I still feel myself being pulled towards it. I don't know why? It doesn't make me feel the way it used to. Now it just makes me feel dirty. I always feel ashamed after doing it . But I keep going back.


I am asking for prayer and also for advice on how to break this.

Thank you in advance.

I am a guy who has dealt with this demon since age thirteen. Half my lived life.

Today I think a good thing to do is to set a celebration. Let's say next year in July we will celebrate one year of being porn-free.

I keep up to ten tabs open on the browser on my phone -- social networks, perspectives on history, new music, etc -- so that even if I feel like searching porn, my real obligations are right there, staring at me.

Also this might sound weird but if I am full I just don't care for porn. Lol ok moving on...

I have begun exercising, spiritually as well as physically. Just makes everything cleaner and sharper and life awesomer, not needing other crazy things because you're exhausted from living life. I play games all day.

You know what really helps me? Inspiration from another Christian. I hope you find it. He is invaluable to me this summer. He was kind of a "bad boy," but came to Jesus and now I feel like I can do anything with him having my back. I don't need the extra nonsense that I know is nonsense, because someone who was not living the saved life is now helping save my life, and I have been a saved and saving, praying, professing, baptized Christian since before Kindergarten. That means I need to "step my game up."

Also if I fail me I fail my team. This one's starting to be new "again." Not that there is no grace or dust-off. But when you swing and miss it's different from when you just leave the playing field altogether.

You can beat this, love, you really can. It's probably been a couple weeks for me only. But your confession made me strong to stay the course for me and you. For Him though. For Him. That's the aim, to be His... because He loves me like that, though. Maybe I will fail again. But I refuse.

 

[steeve71]

i know what you feel this happen to me what i do i listen to christian song that talk about god and all that though will be out of you