How can I overcome lust? Temptations everywhere

jpgillespie2 · Dec 23, 2012

Whether it is in the mall, at my college or just driving down the road, fuel for lust is EVERYWHERE. I am 20 years old, have a girlfriend of 3 years, but I still struggle with lust. It is hard at this age to overcome this lust. I ask God for forgiveness, but I continue to lust. How am I supposed to overcome this? It makes me fear going to hell as well.

p.s. I do accept Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior and know he did die on the cross for my sin.

Jennyyyyy · Dec 23, 2012

You know, I find the answer is somewhat formulaic. I'm 22, and believe me, I know what you're going through. I'm single, and also in University. and you know, your eyes kind of of just wander. There are adds for condoms in bathroom stalls, and without getting too detailed it's just a very lustful kind of vibe you feel on campus.
The problem- How to stay clear of it?
Well, I find that when I feel overwhelmed by these feelings I have a system where I'll try really hard to concentrate on something (not someone) around me, and focus really hard to avoid thinking other things. I try to make myself conscious of when I'm lusting for someone, and when you're conscious you can control it better. If you don't realize (consciously) that there's a reason why you should avoid thinking this way, you'll just continue lusting. So focus on 1.) becoming aware of what you're thinking and 2.) focusing on something else (like, you know God).
This is how I personally deal with it, because it gets really bad for me sometimes. Does it work? Sometimes, but i find the best thing to do is to become aware and alert for those feelings, and have like a kind of mantra to think when you've become aware (I shouldn't think this way because of x, y, z...)

Right?
Hope I helped.

And you know, pray, meditate, that's a given though

jpgillespie2 · Dec 23, 2012

I just feel like I'm letting God down and fear hell for doing that.... because those that are sexually immoral will not inherit the kingdom of God...

Blooming_Violet · Dec 23, 2012

jpgillespie2 said:

Gosh, guys...lust is not going to go away no matter how old you are. Only God and the Holy Spirit can help with this. The key is self control. Your body was built to have sexual urges. God did this on purpose to encourage you to be fruitful and multiply. If sex wasn't fun I can assure you very few people would have kids. That being said, the key to most of these types of sins is ...

Romans 12:2
Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

Renewing your mind takes practice. You need to make a conscious decision to think about what you are thinking about. If you notice a pattern that triggers a sin then change your behavior. Example if you are walking on campus and always walk by a provocative picture you can make a choice to take a different route to get to your destination. If you have no choice then pray or recite a favorite bible verse in your mind as you walk by. Remember the Word is the sword against the enemy.

Visual is a strong lust magnet. So be careful what you look at. Once an image is in your mind it cannot be removed. You may have heard the little Sunday school song, "Be careful little eyes what you see...". Well there was a reason for that. This is a very important sin to work on now, because if left unchecked it can ruin a marriage later down the road. Since the Holy Spirit has brought this to your attention, Do Not Ignore Him. God will guide you. You are on the right track. Seeking wise counsel is very good. Perhaps there are some men on here that might also weigh in with ways they have fought this.

So...you will sin..so remember 1st. Awareness 2nd. Confession 3rd. Repentance ( Turn from your sin through self control via the Holy Spirit.)

Blooming_Violet

DenR · Dec 23, 2012

Brother Gillespie, first let me say your openness about the problem is to be commended..Praise God, a young man who asks for help is certain to find it. But can I reassure you brother? I know there would be different opinions on here, that is fine and I am not trying to start a doctrinal fight..but brother JP...you will not go to hell!! Jesus gave his life for you brother..to save you.
If you are a believer, it is NOT because of anything you did...He gave you that faith...it is a gift. He drew you and He chose you for salvation ready to be revealed in the last day.
He has forgiven you all trespasses already bro...Col 2:13,14..You are saved...What does that mean? A ticket to heaven? No.
It means that Christ has made your spirit come alive to God. BUT...like all of us, the flesh still lusts. Some of us have more natural self control than others. Some are prone to lusting as it runs in the family. But all of that is from Adam. You are in Christ, at least your spirit is. So if we walk in the spirit we shall not fulfill the lusts of the flesh, Paul says.
How do we walk in the spirit?
God is teaching you brother JP.
Look at Romans 7. Paul speaks of this same battle and learning process. I do the things I do not want to..and the things I want to do, I cannot do.Paul says it is another I that does it...it is not I but sin that dwells in me. So there are 2 I's spoken of in Pauls teaching. Look at Gal 2:19-22 AAAGGHHH!! Who will deliver me from this body of death? CHRIST..that's who! He has done it..not he will..he has bro. But you say, how come I still sin? Because you still need to be renewed in the spirit of your mind to the truth of what He has done and who you are now.
You see, you are a new creature in Christ. It is in seeing this that we begin to live like it.
But if you allow condemnation to accuse you and tell you that you are really not saved...or you are a sinner/....or worthy of hell...then sin will still reign over you.
You and all of us, died on the cross with Christ Jesus.. you were put to death with HIM.
Now you are alive in Christ...you are accepted in the beloved...you are righteous by faith in Jesus...even when you sin!!!
God is not looking at your performance to see if you are worthy of heaven....it is ONLY CHRIST that can live the holy life..and Christ has come to live in your spirit! He has made you acceptable to the Father by his sacrifice and resurrection.

I just wrote a blog on no condemnation on my site ...but that is another thing.

I feel for you brother...don't beat yourself up. God is only ever loving you...it is we ourselves who condemn ourselves and try so very hard to please God.
WE CANNOT PLEASE GOD!!!!
Only faith pleases Him.
Faith in what?
Jesus of course...but more specific...faith in the new creation man that you are brother. All your efforts to strive against sin will only strengthen sin and bring you down
But if you can see by faith(Father help him) that you died on the cross and now you live as ONE spirit with Jesus. That is who you are. Jesus is always pleasing to the Father...and that is who you are in union with. God is pleased when we believe that all our sins are forgiven. God is pleased when we stop trying to not sin...and start believing that sin died on the cross.
These are your weapons dear brother...Rev 12:10-11.
Overcome the accuser by your good testimony of Christ in you ...the hope of future glory!!
Love you brother

jpgillespie2 · Dec 23, 2012

Thank you all or the support. If any others want to comment, I am open to all support and suggestions.

NodMyHeadLikeYeah · Dec 23, 2012

jpgillespie2 said:

I think its awesome your reaching out for ideas and suggestions on how to overcome this area of sin in your life. It takes a lot of courage to ask for help.

Sin will always ALWAYS take you much farther than you want to go. Getting a handle on this now before it gets out of control is a very wise idea.

Fasting has always been a tremendous help to me, I wont eat dinner or lunch sometimes and i'll just specifically pray for the area im having so much trouble with. You dont have to just fast food either, it can be something else thats important to you.

Getting an accountability partner, someone you can talk openly with about your struggles. Meet together or talk on the phone once, twice, three times a week. Pray together, confess whats going on in your life.

You clearly cannot help the things you see while driving or just walking around campus, but you can start memorizing scripture. When you first step on to your school grounds, start praying. Start praying for anyone you see, start repeating scriptures, start praying for anything you want. Keep your focus on him. Listen to worship music in your car while driving to and from where ever.

Begin each day by crying out to God. Jesus i can't do this, i am so weak, but your spirit is strong in me, and i can do ALL things through him who strengthens me.

The point is to literally drown yourself out with the Lord.

I know you may be thinking doing all of this sounds to hard, sounds to overwhelming, but let me tell you something. Desperate people take drastic actions.

I feel like i should remind you that you are a child of God, do you have any idea how much he loves you. Hes not sitting up in heaven going... I cant believe he lusted again!! Hes smiling at you saying, i love you son. Please let me help you.

Elisa · Dec 23, 2012

Ask God for His Holy Spirit in your life.

Aqua_Girl09 · Dec 24, 2012

I started killing my relationship with God cause I wasn't able to forgive myself for always lusting. I have to constantly remind myself that I'm going to fail but to not let my failure define my future. even as adults we "trip" just not as often as we did as children. So you're going to have moments that you fall BUT when you fall do you sit there and cry, or just look around embarrassed that you fell and get back up?

Its important to remember that you can NEVER deserve to go to heaven, only through the blood of God. so don't let you mess ups keep you on the ground. They'll happen from time to time. But the more you practice the easier it gets to get back up and keep walking. Some falls are worse then others but its NEVER anything that God can't pick you back up from.

flight316 · Dec 24, 2012

I used to have a bad lust problem. The closer that I got to God, the more it began to bother me. After praying and continuing to pray, it slowly began to lift off of me. Don't get me wrong. I still appreciate a pretty face and a nice body. I'm just not a dirty nasty guy anymore . I'm so thankful to God for delivering me and helping me. Since I was a child I've dealt with lust. Over the years its lead me to so many demonic and satanic situations. Now I feel empowered and in control . It is a really great feeling.

Hungry · Dec 24, 2012

The book "Every Man's Battle" is a really good book on this subject and has some great practical advice. Don't beat yourself up over being attracted to women. I think every man and most women struggle with lust. I wondered if there must have been something lost in translation when Jesus stated that whoever lusts after a woman has already committed adultery. So I looked up the Hebrew word He used for lust and it did translate to "desire causing exasperation". So if you see something tempting don't look at it long enough to make you go Hhm.
I think this was from the book I mentioned but a trick that was recommended was wear an elastic around your wrist (not tight enough to cut off circulation). When you decide to look at something causing lust, you snap it against the inside of your wrist. It is supposed to cause a Pavlovian response, lust=pain. Things that I have done over the years that are tried and true, get proper sleep. You are always stronger against sin when rested. Do difficult math equations in your head when you find your imagination wandering. Imagine the people you are lusting about vomiting. Of course pray and memorize scripture. Lusting is habitual, it can be broken. Learn to refocus when tempted. I always picture Jesus asking me, "Do you love me more than this?" That has been the biggest help for me. God bless and welcome to CC.

jpgillespie2 · Dec 24, 2012

I have been praying and trying to fighting it. Thanks all for the knowledge and support.

Aqua_Girl09 · Dec 26, 2012

That rubber band thing doesn't help. >_< I've heard it but no one has ever told me that it worked for them. I tried it, didn't work for me. ^-^. you'd have to do something more along the lines of slamming your head into the wall. >_<

Just remember that ever time is only a "trip". don't let it make you fall away from God. . . . it seriously sucks getting that low.

Tommy4Christ · Dec 26, 2012

jpgillespie2 said:

I am glad to see you crying out for help, i wrote this article to adress the problem with lust in the church today, where 50% of the pastors are addicted to this or lust, as well as many men who claim to be saved while thay continue to lust, because they never repented. hope this helps.

The dangers of Porn!]

1Co 6:9 Do you not know that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor abusers, nor homosexuals,
1Co 6:10 nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God!

Today we are seeing a vast array of professing Christians and ministries who treat sin that will lead to death as a calamity and not a crime against God.Gal 6:7 Do not be deceived, God is not mocked. For whatever a man sows, that he also will reap.
Gal 6:8 For he sowing to his flesh will reap corruption from the flesh. But he sowing to the Spirit will reap life everlasting from the Spirit.
I can confess from being in bondage to this sin for over 30 years, what I needed to do to put it to death. Most in the Christian circles will tell you it’s a disease, it’s in your nature, or you were born a sinner and will not be able to put it to death once and for all. The pastors would tell me its ok, we all fall short, try not to do it again, and all your sins are forgiven, past, present, and future!
This gave me some comfort, as I joined other men, married and single, who were in the same boat I was in, falling continuously to porn and lust, but again I was good with God, because at least I confessed I do it, and am seeking help from those who know more than me!]
But I knew something was amiss in the church system, and could not figure out what these verses meant:
The soul who sins shall die! Eze 18-20
Those who sin are of the devil 1 John 3-8
The unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God! 1 Corin 6-10-11
Flee all sexual immorality Rev 21-8
He who does what is right is righteous 1 John 3-7
Stop loving this evil world and its lustful attractions 1 John 2-15-16
To be carnally minded is death Romans 8-6
Be perfect Matt 5-48
And many more scriptures that clearly contradict what is being taught in the liberal churches today, such as Promise Keepers, and those who write the many books to help one who struggles with porn to do it less!
Here in lies the problem, keeping literally millions of men in bondage to this vile sin and their flesh. No one is preaching true biblical repentance from the get go! The whole gospel is backwards, and upside down, where they tell you to just accept, believe, and confess your sins to Jesus, receive Him into your heart, feel sorry for your sins, BUT you will always be a poor sinner saved by grace! God will clean you up later, you will remain defiled, worldly, and double minded, but try not to sin if you can!
Where does it say this in the scriptures? Where are the few who are brave enough to call the sick to repent or perish, as Jesus and John the Baptist did. Luke 13-3.unless you repent, you will all likewise perish!
The sin of porn watching will kill you spiritually, and If you refuse to repent, and seek the mercy of God, 2 Corinthians 7-10-11, and die with Christ, ,Gal 2:20 I have been crucified with Christ, and I live; yet no longer I, but Christ lives in me. And that life I now live in the flesh, I live by faith toward the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself on my behalf. Then you will remain in bondage to this vile sin, it must be cut off at the roots! Put to death once and for all in repentance, then you must guard your heart each and every day, count the cost, resist to bloodshed if you have to striving against sins of the flesh, do your part in repentance and all mighty God will do His! James 4:8 Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, sinners; and purify your hearts, double-minded ones.
Draw near to God, He will give you all the power and strength to remain pure and holy before Him, you cannot serve two masters, you cannot be double minded, full of darkness and guile and lust and possibly think you will inherit eternal life!
Those who forsake their sins will be given mercy, and not grace to continue in sin! Remember the grace of God teaches us something!
Titus 2:11 For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men, Tit 2:12 teaching us that having denied ungodliness and worldly lusts, we should live discreetly, righteously and godly, in this present world

Tit 2:13 looking for the blessed hope, and the appearance of the glory of our great God and Savior Jesus Christ,
Tit 2:14 who gave Himself for us that He might redeem us from all iniquity and purify to Himself a special people, zealous of good works.
You now have a choice to make! Seek first His kingdom and righteousness, or your own and suffer the grave consequences of your choices! Either you kill the sin in repentance, or it will kill you!(spiritually)
Gal 5:19 Now the works of the flesh are clearly revealed, which are: adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lustfulness,
Gal 5:20 idolatry, sorcery, hatreds, fightings, jealousies, angers, rivalries, divisions, heresies,
Gal 5:21 envyings, murders, drunkennesses, revelings, and things like these; of which I tell you before, as I also said before, that they who do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God.]
[Please repent of this sin, and all others that will kill your soul!
Tommy
Biblical Repentance:
You believe from your heart. You obey to receive the Holy Spirit (Acts 5:32) He comes into a clean vessel. A heart made pure by faith (obedience) Acts 15:9) you obey and keep obeying, daily, to keep your heart pure and undefiled from the world! (1 Peter 1:22) That's how it works! Genuine repentance involves humility, brokenness and is a humiliating experience. When the true light of God's word floods into your soul, you see yourself as you are, in rebellion to God! This is what godly sorrow is all about. Deep regret for your sin's, a season of sorrow, leading to salvation! (2 Corinthians 7:10) not getting saved in your disobedience and sin's, but out of them, through true repentance first where the flesh is crucified with Christ, and put to death! (Galatians 2:20) cleansed to receive the Holy Spirit!

jpgillespie2 · Dec 26, 2012

See Tommy4Christ that is what I was thinking. I don't see how we can have all that Biblical reference to lust itself and it not be bad. That is why I fear Hell. I always fall short of these things. Everyone else says that God is smiling and trying to show me the way, but I just feel like when I let Him down he gets mad at me.

Blooming_Violet · Dec 27, 2012

jpgillespie2 said:

JP,

This is a good struggle and a good learning point for your future. The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.

Proverbs 1:7
New International Version (NIV)
7*The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge,
but fools despise wisdom and instruction.

You will learn through study that this kind of fear is reverential fear, to be in awe of God. To show respect to God. The fear "of Hell" that you are describing does not come from God. It comes from the enemy. It is the enemy that condemns you. The Holy Spirit convicts you. There is a big difference. Right now in your sin you are very susceptible to listening to the enemy. He or his mignons are probably whispering in your ear daily,"God can't love you. He is mad at you. You are going to Hell.". If you have truly repented, and made God the Lord of your life, this is just not going to happen. Perfect love casts out fear.

1 John 4:18
New International Version (NIV)
18*There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.

We are not perfect, but God is. He made you. He knows you will sin. It is how you handle that sin that God cares about. It is my hope that since you are here that you are not acting as the world does in sin. You need to pray always. Select any of the verses on this thread and commit them to memory. Repeat them when you feel tempted.

Remember God will not give you more than you can handle.

1 Corinthians 10:13
New International Version (NIV)
13*No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.

So please do your homework. Repent daily. This is a great test. You will pass it. I have faith. Hang in there.

Blooming_Violet

Erik94 · Dec 27, 2012

Thank you so much people,
I'm new to this forum, this is the first thing I read and this are the things I also struggle with.

But, once I see the girls, or once I'm on the Internet I like it! And, then I want more...
But now, I hate the things I did and I would love to stop with it, but every time I'm unable to withstand the temptation.

Can you give me some help please? Can you give me some practical tips, to control my lust?

Aqua_Girl09 · Dec 30, 2012

What works for me is listening to worship music. If its only thirty mins in the morning while you're getting ready for work/school. or just in your car, or where ever. Listening to worship music makes me feel closer to God and I feel like he gives me the power to be stronger and fight ANYTHING.

Kefa52 · Dec 30, 2012

Psalm 139 1-6

1 Lord, You have searched me and known me.a Ps 17:3; 44:21; Jr 12:3
2 You know when I sit down and when I stand up;You understand my thoughts from far away. 2K 19:27; Isa 66:18; Mt 9:4
3 You observe my travels and my rest;You are aware of all my ways. Jb 14:16; 31:4
4 Before a word is on my tongue,You know all about it, Lord. Heb 4:13
5 You have encircled me;You have placed Your hand on me. Jb 9:33; Ps 125:2
6 This extraordinary knowledge is beyond me.It is lofty; I am unable to reach it. Jb 42:3; Rm 11:33

OK, First thing you need to do is relax in the Lord. People don't go to hell for what they do. People go to hell for what they don't do. They don't accept accept Jesus as their savior.

It sounds like you are trying to fight this on your own. You won't win. God knows everything about you and he loves you. He made you the way you are.

Accept that you have this small lust problem. This is just a small part of your journey with Jesus. Life is a journey with Jesus, not a race that you must win.

I would start something like this." God I have this lust problem. You know my everyway and you love me. I can't handle this on my own. I want to Glorify you with my life God. Please give me the strength and wisdom to deal with this . Thank You for helping me with this".

When we get all down on ourselves and beat ourselves up we are in our own irrational strength. When lust pops up just relax and give it to God.

Before you know it the lust will be gone and something else will come up. It's a journey.

jpgillespie2 · Jan 1, 2013

Thanks you all. I just read scripture such as 1 John 5:18 and 1 John 3:9 and just feel so overwhelmed...

How can I overcome lust? Temptations everywhere

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