I'm separated at a young age?

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Crochetti

Guest
#1
#1
Hello,

I am a Christian and I got married in my early 20s. My husband was a bully and 6 or so months later he kicked me out of the house and for rid of and/or kept quite a few of my belongings. For a while I wanted to get back with him... Now I don't. 2 years is coming up where I can get a divorce I don't want it to be ugly but he was awful to me and it has to be done. I just hope God isn't mad at me for divorcing him as I went into the marriage blindly thinking we'd be together forever. Even though we didn't even get married in a church or have proper vows etc etc... Need support on many things right now would be great to have a chat with someone going through the same thing.

Thank you
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#2
#2
Crochetti said:
Hello,

I am a Christian and I got married in my early 20s. My husband was a bully and 6 or so months later he kicked me out of the house and for rid of and/or kept quite a few of my belongings. For a while I wanted to get back with him... Now I don't. 2 years is coming up where I can get a divorce I don't want it to be ugly but he was awful to me and it has to be done. I just hope God isn't mad at me for divorcing him as I went into the marriage blindly thinking we'd be together forever. Even though we didn't even get married in a church or have proper vows etc etc... Need support on many things right now would be great to have a chat with someone going through the same thing.

Thank you
Click to expand...
Getting married in a church has nothing to do with anything. Neither do 'proper vows'. If you were recognized as married in the eyes of your government then that's all that matters.

So basically your husband was abusive, bully is the nice way of saying abuser. Read through the Family section and you'll see lots of people going through divorces, many because of abuse. Its a very sad commonality in Christian marriages anymore. But it sounds like he's kicked you out of his life, and he broke his vows, and has essentially left you. So the bible says to let him go. I say end it and move on. You'll be better off.
 
J

Jda016

Guest
#4
#4
Though God says we will suffer persecution in this world, he does not say we have to willingly put ourselves in an abusive situation.

As said before, he has kicked you out. He has broken his bond of marriage with you by his abuse. God is not going to be angry with you. Many women feel guilty and awful about leaving abusive relationships and this keeps them in bondage. I do not believe God desires that.

you are worth far more to God and you do not deserve to be abused. Let go of the man who crushes your spirit and get away.
 
TheAristocat

TheAristocat

Senior Member
#5
Oct 4, 2011
2,150
26
0
#5
Crochetti said:
Hello,

I am a Christian and I got married in my early 20s. My husband was a bully and 6 or so months later he kicked me out of the house and for rid of and/or kept quite a few of my belongings. For a while I wanted to get back with him... Now I don't. 2 years is coming up where I can get a divorce I don't want it to be ugly but he was awful to me and it has to be done. I just hope God isn't mad at me for divorcing him as I went into the marriage blindly thinking we'd be together forever. Even though we didn't even get married in a church or have proper vows etc etc... Need support on many things right now would be great to have a chat with someone going through the same thing.

Thank you
Click to expand...
My approach? I probably wouldn't divorce. When you're single after a relationship it can feel rough for a short while and even after for a long time you still have bad spells. And being in a relationship where one person is doing all the giving and the other is doing all the taking can certainly feel like you're single. But eventually I believe you can get over it and learn to be independent. If he's not committing adultery and he is a Christian I'd say don't divorce. He's being a bully. But that's not grounds for divorce. Marriage is supposed to last through the good and the bad of each of your lives. And one's life lasts a long time. So marriage isn't supposed to be about lasting until someone starts being an ignoramus.

One may say that no one should be a slave to someone else in an abusive relationship. And I'm not arguing that be the case. Marriage doesn't define your life. You are so much more than a relationship with your spouse. It may just take time to appreciate that properly again. In the mean time you have a contract to uphold. That contract ends at death, but try not to poison your husband or otherwise do anything to hasten that process. :rolleyes:

Your husband, though, does seem to be a total jerk. But I don't currently know why he's doing this. It's just said that he is. So who knows what's going on or who to blame. Maybe it's best not to blame anyone but just to keep yourself occupied, pray about it, live your life in peace and follow any steps available to correct the situation in a godly way. If he does commit adultery or has, then you'd have grounds for divorce. IMO
 
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carolynhutter

Guest
#6
#6
One of my friend who was a divorce attorney also went through the same situation and its really painful to go through these situation. So I would suggest you to forget all these and move forward in life.
 
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