It seems like everyone here is so sure and so faithful to God, like they know exactly what they're doing. Why can't I be this way. I don't have many friends or a Christian support system so it just seems like I'm on my own all the time. How can I keep from being lonely when God's up in Heaven and I'm way down here? Plus what worth am I to God when he has so many other good Christians to do his work. I don't have any talents or spiritual gifts and I honestly have no idea what I'm doing or where I belong. I don't want to be lost, but I fee like there's nothing to hold on to.
Consider Joseph. He had a dream when he was a child that his family would one day bow down to him. Around the age of 17, he was sold into slavery. He lived as a slave for about ten years. Then he was thrown in prison and spent two years as a prisoner. It wasn't until he was about 30 years old that he finally started find success, measured outwardly, and became second in command under Pharaoh. And it wasn't until he was almost 40 that the dream he had was fulfilled.
Or consider Moses. Moses lived in Egypt until he was about 40 years old. While there, he came to believe that God would use him to deliver the Israelites (Acts 7:25). But things did not go as he expected and he ended up running for his life and living in Midian for another 40 years. The primary purpose for which God would use him would not even begin till he was 80 years old.
Or consider Paul. He hoped to visit the Romans on a mission trip. He prayed repeatedly, "asking that somehow by God’s will" he would "at last succeed in coming to [them]" (Rom. 1:10). While it would only be about another three years until he made it to Rome, it was nothing like he had planned. He came as a prisoner, having spent at least two years as such, and after having been shipwrecked and nearly killed.
One could multiply such stories from Scripture many times over. David was anointed to be king as a child, but consider the path his life took prior to him actually becoming king. Or Abraham, or Jacob, etc. etc.
The point is, not knowing exactly what you're supposed to be doing or where you're supposed to be going or what significance your actions will have is, in a sense, a normal part of Christian experience. Some of the people that we consider the most significant heroes of the faith didn't always know what they were doing or where they were going. And sometimes large portions of their lives seemed mundane, pointless, and insignificant. Consider what went through Moses head while he was spending his 40 years in Midian. Or Joseph while spending his ten yeas as a slave and then 2 in prison. Or Paul after being arrested and then shipwrecked.
You're very young still. At your age Joseph was still in prison, Moses had yet to even flee to Midian, and Paul had not even converted to Christianity. We never really aim for where we end up. That's because we can't see the future or God's plans for it. It's only when you step back, in retrospect, and see more of how the pieces came together that you can discern some larger significance beyond the day to day routine.
Jerry Sittser gives his own story as follows:
"As I look back on my forty-nine years, I see a pattern emerge. At various points along the way I thought I knew the pathway I was supposed to take, but I ended up doing something quite different. This different 'something' turned out to be the will of God. At twenty, I was sure that God wanted me to pursue a career in medicine; I became a minister instead. At thirty, I was planning to stay the course in pastorl ministry; now I am a college professor. At fourty, I didn't aspire to be an avid writer; now I am finishing this, my fifth book. At every step along the way I thought I knew God's will for my life. I thought I had it all figured out. But it did not turn out as I had planned.
It occurred to me a few years ago that either I had developed a bad habit of missing the will of God for my life, or I had a mistaken notion of what God's will was and is... How I functioned in [where I chose to go with my life] would depend on the quality of my character, the depth of my convictions, and the degree of my competence, which are developed as we do our daily routines... We simply need to do what we already know in the present. God has been clear where clarity is most needed."
(The Will of God as a Way of Life. 20-21; 24-25)
In other words, if you just focus on being faithful to God in whatever circumstance you currently happen to be in that's good enough. Joseph didn't set out to be second in command to Pharaoh. He just served God faithfully as a slave and then as a prisoner. And when Moses took it into his own hands to deliver the Israelites, it turned out disastrous and he had to run for his life. Don't worry about tomorrow, that will take care of itself (Mat. 6:34). You don't have to be a super-saint. It's not about impressing God with the significance of our lives. It's just resting in Him and enjoying and growing in that relationship.
Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. And God has a unique purpose for our lives, it's up to seek His will though, an He won't force us to obey. God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. By using people the world wouldn't expect, He can greater show His Almighty transforming power