Not the favorite employee, and trying to be ok with that

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ArtsieSteph

ArtsieSteph

Senior Member
#1
Apr 1, 2014
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#1
I've been working at this store almost a year now, and it seems like over time that my managers have seen past my pleasantness and see my tendency to make things a bigger deal than they are, say things stupidly without thinking, and sometimes can be a bit high maintenance. Unfortunately I think this has caused their opinion of me to wane a little bit, and that makes me feel really crummy.

I know however this is a blessing in disguise. We have a new hire that they adore, and she is going to be here longer than me. I'm gonna be quitting soon to get a job that has benefits. I know this is God sort of letting them have someone else who is the new kid, who they really enjoy her company.

It still makes me feel bad. The new hire gets invited to parties, and I have said I don't drink so that's probably why I wasn't, but I still feel hurt and sensitive. But at the same time I'm happy because they are gonna be fine without me.

And I suppose knowing that is good and sad at the same time. So I guess I need to pray for maturity in this situation.
 
Willie-T

Willie-T

Banned
#2
Feb 7, 2015
22,418
413
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#2
Basically, then, you have really only one path if you want or need the validation of others. Stop doing it.

I usually say what I think. This often upsets people. But you have a choice... Live a life you choose, or live the one that will satisfy whatever it is they need. This is not as easy as it sounds. If you really DO need their validation, then your entire life will be lived in that mode.

Not saying this is right or wrong. But we seldom can have it both ways.
 
Willie-T

Willie-T

Banned
#3
Feb 7, 2015
22,418
413
0
#3
Shakespeare said this: "To thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man."

Sounds good. But just like the often cool-sounding Biblical quotes we spout........ each of these things comes with consequences we have to be willing to accept.
 
S

Siberian_Khatru

Guest
#4
#4
ArtsieSteph said:
(...) So I guess I need to pray for maturity in this situation.
Click to expand...
Maturity sounds like the right prescription here. Good luck with your new venture, Steph!
 
student

student

Senior Member
#5
Jul 20, 2010
1,031
154
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#5
Maturity always helps. Following Jesus is no easy task. "[SUP]18 [/SUP]“If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first. [SUP]19 [/SUP]If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own." John 15:18-25 When you walk this straight and narrow path, the world sees the painfully honest nature that "tries' to be friendly in spite of knowing they don't accept it. Like drinking. per se. You are among the "few" i.e. Matthew 7:13-14
[SUP]13 [/SUP]“Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. [SUP]14 [/SUP]But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it." Difficult to tell you, you are going to hurt if you're mind is stayed on validating relationships. I know. I've been there. Strength in Christ is validation for the journey. But...be assured of your place in heaven and know that here on cc, You are among friends. God bless, sister in Christ! -student
 
B

blondieindahouse

Banned
#6
Jun 23, 2015
1,990
37
0
#6
Willie-T said:
Basically, then, you have really only one path if you want or need the validation of others. Stop doing it.

I usually say what I think. This often upsets people. But you have a choice... Live a life you choose, or live the one that will satisfy whatever it is they need. This is not as easy as it sounds. If you really DO need their validation, then your entire life will be lived in that mode.

Not saying this is right or wrong. But we seldom can have it both ways.
Click to expand...

Two things come to mind, tact and timing.
 
B

blondieindahouse

Banned
#7
Jun 23, 2015
1,990
37
0
#7
ArtsieSteph said:
I've been working at this store almost a year now, and it seems like over time that my managers have seen past my pleasantness and see my tendency to make things a bigger deal than they are, say things stupidly without thinking, and sometimes can be a bit high maintenance. Unfortunately I think this has caused their opinion of me to wane a little bit, and that makes me feel really crummy.

I know however this is a blessing in disguise. We have a new hire that they adore, and she is going to be here longer than me. I'm gonna be quitting soon to get a job that has benefits. I know this is God sort of letting them have someone else who is the new kid, who they really enjoy her company.

It still makes me feel bad. The new hire gets invited to parties, and I have said I don't drink so that's probably why I wasn't, but I still feel hurt and sensitive. But at the same time I'm happy because they are gonna be fine without me.

And I suppose knowing that is good and sad at the same time. So I guess I need to pray for maturity in this situation.
Click to expand...
It gets easier with maturity. You've chosen the way of Christ. This is something I have to remind myself and I actually made it up : Let your FEELINGS reflect the word!
Dont allow the enemy to lead you to be hurt! Its a lie! Christ pulled you out of this world and all its filth. You are being renewed in your mind and you are a new creation IN CHRIST. You are not the pig who wallows in mud nor the dog that returns to his vomit. Just stand!
Keep fighting the good fight. One foot in front of the other. It is a process. Blessings
 
ArtsieSteph

ArtsieSteph

Senior Member
#8
Apr 1, 2014
6,194
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#8
Fortunately my coworkers have been good about not pressuring me into anything, but I think you're right in them knowing I am very different from them. And as much as I can, unless God leads me to, I don't plan on changing
 
tourist

tourist

Senior Member
#9
Mar 13, 2014
41,361
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Tennessee
#9
It sounds like a rather small business with few employees. After you have been in the workforce a few years you will learn that everyone is expendable and can be replaced, often at a lower business cost for labor. I really wouldn't get choked up about leaving, especially since you have been with the company less than a year. It's just time to be moving on.
 
ArtsieSteph

ArtsieSteph

Senior Member
#10
Apr 1, 2014
6,194
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Arizona
#10
tourist said:
It sounds like a rather small business with few employees. After you have been in the workforce a few years you will learn that everyone is expendable and can be replaced, often at a lower business cost for labor. I really wouldn't get choked up about leaving, especially since you have been with the company less than a year. It's just time to be moving on.
Click to expand...
Sadly I know. I talked to my dad about how tight we all are and he said, "yeah see how tight you are and how much a business it is when they're in a bind." Basically true
 
student

student

Senior Member
#11
Jul 20, 2010
1,031
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#11
I have used some situations like this to witness to a few employees. A thought?...
 
P

pwrnJC

Banned
#12
Dec 1, 2014
1,430
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#12
Willy-T...I totally agree with your comments. I do not need to add to them. You hit the nail right on the head on this one! God bless your spiritual insight!
 
ArtsieSteph

ArtsieSteph

Senior Member
#13
Apr 1, 2014
6,194
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Arizona
#13
So I guess I don't get invited to things.....but it may be again because they know I don't drink. And that's the entirety of the evening basically. I guess I'm not sure if it's out of respect or they think I'd be a buzzkill XD
 
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