Rants of an Introvert.

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clee356

Senior Member
Apr 5, 2011
341
4
18
35
#1
I was going to post this as a reply to another thread, but it started turning into a long rant so I figured I should make a new thread about it. :p

The following are statements I hear literally on a regular basis from family, friends, strangers even.

-You never talk!
-You should talk more!
-Don't be shy.
-Talk to me!
-Why are you so quiet?

And I know I'm not the only one. My best friend hears these things. My fiance hears these things. Thousands of introverts most likely hear these things.

So why is it that people say these things? I have no flipping clue.

As an introvert myself, I find that introverts are very misunderstood and clumped into a stereotype. If we're quiet, it must be because we're shy. If we're not talking, we must not like you. Far from it. Most introverts prefer to listen and observe people and their surroundings, and I am one of these introverts. I will not talk just for the sake of talking. Most of the time, I will not engage in small talk because I hate small talk. I will not talk just to please you or entertain you.

Dear potential friends. Please heed this as a fair warning because I HATE being misunderstood, and it'll lessen the chances of us becoming friends. I am so very far from shy. Get me talking, and I don't shut up.

Dear extroverts. If you're just patient and understanding with us and don't push us to do things we don't want to do, we can get along very well.

And not to toot my own horn, but introverts can be some of the best people you'll ever meet.
 
May 18, 2010
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#2
lol, mine are similar, and also Speak up! and I'm, sorry i couldn't hear (something's too loud in the background), and likewise
 
W

Wood-Note

Guest
#3
As an introvert myself, I find that introverts are very misunderstood and clumped into a stereotype. If we're quiet, it must be because we're shy. If we're not talking, we must not like you. Far from it. Most introverts prefer to listen and observe people and their surroundings, and I am one of these introverts. I will not talk just for the sake of talking. Most of the time, I will not engage in small talk because I hate small talk. I will not talk just to please you or entertain you.
You hit the nail on the head for me. For the longest time people said I was shy but as you stated, this is exactly what I am like. When I was younger I didn't know how to explain it. I would say "I'm not shy, I just don't want to talk just because I can." Then I had name to put with it and a simple way of explaining it...but that doesn't stop people from calling me shy. As I said though, this is exactly what I am like.
 

Lucy68

Senior Member
Jan 21, 2011
2,538
22
0
#4
I respect quiet people more than overly-talkative ones :). When they have something significant to say, they say it. The bible has a lot to say about talking too much. Sorry this is long but they're all good Scriptures.

[h=3]Proverbs 10:19 ESV / 147 helpful votes[/h] When words are many, transgression is not lacking, but whoever restrains his lips is prudent.

[h=3]Proverbs 17:28 ESV / 127 helpful votes[/h] Even a fool who keeps silent is considered wise; when he closes his lips, he is deemed intelligent.


[h=3]James 1:19 ESV / 108 helpful votes[/h] Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger;


[h=3]Proverbs 29:20 ESV / 103 helpful votes[/h] Do you see a man who is hasty in his words? There is more hope for a fool than for him.


[h=3]Proverbs 18:2 ESV / 82 helpful votes[/h] A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion.


[h=3]Ecclesiastes 9:17 ESV / 75 helpful votes[/h] The words of the wise heard in quiet are better than the shouting of a ruler among fools.


[h=3]Proverbs 21:23 ESV / 67 helpful votes[/h] Whoever keeps his mouth and his tongue keeps himself out of trouble.


[h=3]Ecclesiastes 5:7 ESV / 64 helpful votes[/h] For when dreams increase and words grow many, there is vanity; but God is the one you must fear.


[h=3]Psalm 141:3 ESV / 64 helpful votes[/h] Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips!


[h=3]James 3:6 ESV / 57 helpful votes[/h] And the tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness. The tongue is set among our members, staining the whole body, setting on fire the entire course of life, and set on fire by hell.


[h=3]Ecclesiastes 5:2 ESV / 48 helpful votes[/h] Be not rash with your mouth, nor let your heart be hasty to utter a word before God, for God is in heaven and you are on earth. Therefore let your words be few.


[h=3]Proverbs 14:23 ESV / 47 helpful votes[/h] In all toil there is profit, but mere talk tends only to poverty.


[h=3]Proverbs 30:32 ESV / 42 helpful votes[/h] If you have been foolish, exalting yourself, or if you have been devising evil, put your hand on your mouth.


[h=3]Proverbs 13:3 ESV / 35 helpful votes[/h] Whoever guards his mouth preserves his life; he who opens wide his lips comes to ruin.


[h=3]Amos 5:13 ESV / 29 helpful votes[/h] Therefore he who is prudent will keep silent in such a time, for it is an evil time.


[h=3]Proverbs 15:1-33 ESV / 29 helpful votes[/h] A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. The tongue of the wise commends knowledge, but the mouths of fools pour out folly. The eyes of the Lord are in every place, keeping watch on the evil and the good. A gentle tongue is a tree of life, but perverseness in it breaks the spirit. A fool despises his father's instruction, but whoever heeds reproof is prudent. ...


[h=3]Proverbs 12:18 ESV / 29 helpful votes[/h] There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.


[h=3]Matthew 12:36 ESV / 26 helpful votes[/h] I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak,


[h=3]Proverbs 18:21 ESV / 25 helpful votes[/h] Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits.


[h=3]Psalm 1:1-6 ESV / 20 helpful votes[/h] Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked, nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seat of scoffers; but his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law he meditates day and night. He is like a tree planted by streams of water that yields its fruit in its season, and its leaf does not wither. In all that he does, he prospers. The wicked are not so, but are like chaff that the wind drives away. Therefore the wicked will not stand in the judgment, nor sinners in the congregation of the righteous; ...





[h=3]Ecclesiastes 5:1-3 ESV / 13 helpful votes[/h] Guard your steps when you go to the house of God. To draw near to listen is better than to offer the sacrifice of fools, for they do not know that they are doing evil. Be not rash with your mouth, nor let your heart be hasty to utter a word before God, for God is in heaven and you are on earth. Therefore let your words be few. For a dream comes with much business, and a fool's voice with many words.


[h=3]Psalm 141:3-4 ESV / 13 helpful votes[/h] Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips! Do not let my heart incline to any evil, to busy myself with wicked deeds in company with men who work iniquity, and let me not eat of their delicacies!


[h=3]James 3:2-11 ESV / 11 helpful votes[/h] For we all stumble in many ways. And if anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is a perfect man, able also to bridle his whole body. If we put bits into the mouths of horses so that they obey us, we guide their whole bodies as well. Look at the ships also: though they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are guided by a very small rudder wherever the will of the pilot directs. So also the tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great things. How great a forest is set ablaze by such a small fire! And the tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness. The tongue is set among our members, staining the whole body, setting on fire the entire course of life, and set on fire by hell. ...


[h=3]Proverbs 20:19 ESV / 9 helpful votes[/h] Whoever goes about slandering reveals secrets; therefore do not associate with a simple babbler.


[h=3]2 Timothy 2:16 ESV / 8 helpful votes[/h] But avoid irreverent babble, for it will lead people into more and more ungodliness,


[h=3]Amos 5:12-13 ESV / 7 helpful votes[/h] For I know how many are your transgressions and how great are your sins— you who afflict the righteous, who take a bribe, and turn aside the needy in the gate. Therefore he who is prudent will keep silent in such a time, for it is an evil time.


[h=3]Isaiah 58:13-14 ESV / 6 helpful votes[/h] “If you turn back your foot from the Sabbath, from doing your pleasure on my holy day, and call the Sabbath a delight and the holy day of the Lord honorable; if you honor it, not going your own ways, or seeking your own pleasure, or talking idly; then you shall take delight in the Lord, and I will make you ride on the heights of the earth; I will feed you with the heritage of Jacob your father, for the mouth of the Lord has spoken.”


[h=3]Ecclesiastes 5:6 ESV / 6 helpful votes[/h] Let not your mouth lead you into sin, and do not say before the messenger that it was a mistake. Why should God be angry at your voice and destroy the work of your hands?
 

Kizzy

Senior Member
Jul 7, 2010
112
1
18
30
#5
I was going to post this as a reply to another thread, but it started turning into a long rant so I figured I should make a new thread about it. :p

The following are statements I hear literally on a regular basis from family, friends, strangers even.

-You never talk!
-You should talk more!
-Don't be shy.
-Talk to me!
-Why are you so quiet?

And I know I'm not the only one. My best friend hears these things. My fiance hears these things. Thousands of introverts most likely hear these things.

So why is it that people say these things? I have no flipping clue.

As an introvert myself, I find that introverts are very misunderstood and clumped into a stereotype. If we're quiet, it must be because we're shy. If we're not talking, we must not like you. Far from it. Most introverts prefer to listen and observe people and their surroundings, and I am one of these introverts. I will not talk just for the sake of talking. Most of the time, I will not engage in small talk because I hate small talk. I will not talk just to please you or entertain you.

Dear potential friends. Please heed this as a fair warning because I HATE being misunderstood, and it'll lessen the chances of us becoming friends. I am so very far from shy. Get me talking, and I don't shut up.

Dear extroverts. If you're just patient and understanding with us and don't push us to do things we don't want to do, we can get along very well.

And not to toot my own horn, but introverts can be some of the best people you'll ever meet.
How I feel inside when someone says those things to me:




What I actually say..:




And later on when I get home I sob over how misunderstood introverts are:




*sigh* People clearly don't understand us. :/
 
T

Tintin

Guest
#6
I don't know what's up with me. I'm more of an extroverted introvert than anything else.
 
Dec 17, 2012
135
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43
#7
I was going to post this as a reply to another thread, but it started turning into a long rant so I figured I should make a new thread about it. :p

The following are statements I hear literally on a regular basis from family, friends, strangers even.

-You never talk!
-You should talk more!
-Don't be shy.
-Talk to me!
-Why are you so quiet?

And I know I'm not the only one. My best friend hears these things. My fiance hears these things. Thousands of introverts most likely hear these things.

So why is it that people say these things? I have no flipping clue.

As an introvert myself, I find that introverts are very misunderstood and clumped into a stereotype. If we're quiet, it must be because we're shy. If we're not talking, we must not like you. Far from it. Most introverts prefer to listen and observe people and their surroundings, and I am one of these introverts. I will not talk just for the sake of talking. Most of the time, I will not engage in small talk because I hate small talk. I will not talk just to please you or entertain you.

Dear potential friends. Please heed this as a fair warning because I HATE being misunderstood, and it'll lessen the chances of us becoming friends. I am so very far from shy. Get me talking, and I don't shut up.

Dear extroverts. If you're just patient and understanding with us and don't push us to do things we don't want to do, we can get along very well.

And not to toot my own horn, but introverts can be some of the best people you'll ever meet.
TRUTH.

When I was a second-time sophomore at college, one of my best friends was looking for a roommate. I went along with her to meet the potential roomie, because that's what best friends do. When we got there, I greeted the potential roomie, and faded into the background (because that's what best friends, who already have their own roommates, do). When we left, I was so offended, and thought she was stuck up because she hadn't responded to my "hey, how's it goin'?"

As you might guess, it turned out that she was an introvert as well. In no time, we bonded and became close friends - and still are to this day.

That thing of being misunderstood? Ugh... still hate that. It still happens.
 
Last edited:

clee356

Senior Member
Apr 5, 2011
341
4
18
35
#8
The thing that gets to me the most are assumptions. Why do people assume others are a certain way? I know I do it too, and I need to work on that. But it irks me so much.

I feel you, toastface. Glad to hear you two became friends. In my case, introverts are the ones who misunderstand me the most, so... no wonder I don't have many introvert friends. Fail. -__-
 

melita916

Senior Member
Aug 12, 2011
10,418
2,660
113
#9
someone understands me!!! lol i'm an introvert unless i'm hanging out with my close friends.

and I agree with you with small chat. I don't like it at all! lol
 
I

Isa615

Guest
#10
i had no idea how many other introverts were on this site. i know how it feels to be misunderstood. although, there is one family member that really got me, and i only met her once: a great-aunt, on my dad's side. she took one long look at me, and i looked right back. neither of us said anything. at the end if this staring contest, she said to the rest of the family that were in the room, "he may not say much, but he's listening to everything you say."

she was right. :)
 
Jan 23, 2011
115
1
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#11
Introverts are more common then you think! Being an introvert obviously doesn't mean your like, socially incomptent, it just means social stuff tends to burn up your energy instead of give you energy. Thats the main difference between introverts and extroverts, extroverts feel better from going out and being with people and doing things, but introverts feel better by sitting by themselves or with close friends.

I found reading up on Myers-Briggs Personality tests really helped me understand the differences. It also lets you fight back better against people who give you crap for being an introvert :p
 
D

danschance

Guest
#12
I admit it. I am more of an introvert than an extrovert. Extroverts are annoying to me. The more people around them, the more irritating they become. No I am not shy or socially handicapped or socially challenged or socially inept. I can hold my own just fine in social situations. I just prefer being left alone, especially from obnoxious loud annoying extroverts.

I do occasionally prefer to be with a small group of friends or family. Just not every day.
 
T

Tethered

Guest
#13
Speaking as a Te-dom (yeah you never thought that), how might you mis-understand extraverts? *trollface*
 
I

Isa615

Guest
#14
Extroverts are annoying to me. The more people around them, the more irritating they become.
yeah i know that feel. it's even worse since i'm pretty much the only non-extrovert in my immediate family. everyone else is a social butterfly. -__-
 
May 5, 2012
1
0
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#15
You guys should read Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World that Can't Stop Talking. It's a book by Susan Cain. It's pretty good. Helps introverts and extroverts alike realize the place introverts have in a world designed for extroverts.
 
Apr 14, 2011
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#16
I have heard of that book. I also have a magazine with an article about introverts in a psychology magazine I found on a cart in my college where they gave away free stuff like magazines, books, etc that either where not being checked out, were outdated, or other reasons. I am an introvert too, when the church service is done on Sundays, I leave for a bit to get ''fresh air'' so to speak. Some people called me shy or something and I think I used to think I am shy, my mom is the same, but I don't think I consider myself shy anymore. I just tend to thrive in solitude, like a quote that Henry David Thoreau said or something like that. I do need company, so if there is a myth still flying around that introverts are anti-social, don't need company, etc. they are wrong, we just don't need as much company as others. Anyway, those are my two cents. God bless.
 

clee356

Senior Member
Apr 5, 2011
341
4
18
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#17
This thread attracted quite a number of introverts :) I would throw a party for us but we generally don't like parties so... I'll just eat extra cake for everyone.:p
 

Kizzy

Senior Member
Jul 7, 2010
112
1
18
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#18
This thread attracted quite a number of introverts :) I would throw a party for us but we generally don't like parties so... I'll just eat extra cake for everyone.:p
What I tell people who invite me to a party:

Are you kidding?! I LOVE parties!




How I feel inside after I walk away:









How I start feeling right before the party:





How I am at the party:








 
Dec 17, 2012
135
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#19
The thing that gets to me the most are assumptions. Why do people assume others are a certain way? I know I do it too, and I need to work on that. But it irks me so much.

I feel you, toastface. Glad to hear you two became friends. In my case, introverts are the ones who misunderstand me the most, so... no wonder I don't have many introvert friends. Fail. -__-
Thanks. That is pretty frustrating; you'd think that quiet and contemplative people would understand other quiet and contemplative people the most. Alas, people are strange.
Got any party cake left? ;)
 
A

Anna20fAustralia

Guest
#20
I read a book called "Quiet" that was really good about being an introvert in a world that values extrovert values. It was really good. It was written by a woman who was a lawyer and decided that it wasnt for her. We are great and writing books thoughs, and art, and......writing in bulletin boards !