Saving yourself for your future husband

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
E

Eileanna

Guest
#1
#1
Okay, I am about to ask a rather personal question - there is a reason for it though. I have made a commitment a while ago to save myself for my future husband. I haven't broken this commitment, but there are so many people (particularly in my family) who don't understand it, and seemingly try to swerve me from this. I am wondering if anyone else has made such a commitment, and if so if you ever ran into this problem. And out of curiosity what guys actually think of women who want to save their intimacy for marriage.
 
P

Precious_Sunflower

Guest
#2
#2
I did a commitment about this when I was 16 years old. I too had a few that didn't take me serious, but I remained faithful to this commitment untill my Wedding Day. My husband did the same himself, as well as he respected and agreed about my choice. I think it is a very wise choice of you, and it is for yours and your husband's best waiting with it till after you are married. :)
 
Last edited:
E

Eileanna

Guest
#3
#3
Thank you Precious_Sunflower, that is so incredibly encouraging!! :)
 
J

Jordache

Guest
#4
#4
I made this commitment and my mother snidely remarked over and over again "That's nice, honey, but when you do have sex e sure to tell me so we can get you on birth control." My family used to talk about me behind my back. Right after I got married two I my cousins were talking about me behind my back. "Who does she think she is? That's not how we do it. We have our babies THEN get married."
Eileanna, pursue it with all your heart!
 
E

Eileanna

Guest
#5
#5
Thank you, Jordache!! Sorry to hear you had to put up with that, but the wait will be worth it!!
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#6
#6
Well, the problem with asking questions like 'what do guys think....' is you can't get one answer. Each guy is different and so there is no one answer.
Any guy worth having will be willing to wait, not only willing, but wanting to wait and do the right thing by both you and God. If you date a guy trying to get you in bed, dump him immediately.
Not all guys will feel this way, even some claiming to be Christians, but those guys are fakes and dogs, and again, not worth having.
 
L

Lucy68

Senior Member
#7
Jan 21, 2011
2,538
22
0
#7
That is definitely a very God-honoring desire and He will bless you and your future marriage for it :). It's just going to be very hard into today's sex-saturated world but be strong!
 
R

Relena7

Guest
#8
#8
Jordache said:
I made this commitment and my mother snidely remarked over and over again "That's nice, honey, but when you do have sex e sure to tell me so we can get you on birth control." My family used to talk about me behind my back. Right after I got married two I my cousins were talking about me behind my back. "Who does she think she is? That's not how we do it. We have our babies THEN get married."
Eileanna, pursue it with all your heart!
Click to expand...
I'm leaning towards the "save myself for my husband" side. I never share that info about myself with people who wouldn't understand. What is the point to share it? I do have a boyfriend, we've been in a relationship for nearly 5 years, we've been alone together a million times, I let people think what they wanna think about us. But in truth, we've never had sex. I know many of my past acquaintances and some relatives would find that very weird. But my sex life (or lack of) is none of their business.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
JGPS

JGPS

Banned
#9
Jan 11, 2013
629
0
0
#9
Relena's response to the situation is probably the best. It's not really any business of the people who'll give you grief over it.

As for guys, you can tell if his priorities are short term or long term by how he reacts to waiting. If he can wait then you know he has the long term in mind.
 
sanglina

sanglina

Senior Member
#10
Jul 28, 2012
857
4
0
#10
Eileanna said:
Okay, I am about to ask a rather personal question - there is a reason for it though. I have made a commitment a while ago to save myself for my future husband. I haven't broken this commitment, but there are so many people (particularly in my family) who don't understand it, and seemingly try to swerve me from this. I am wondering if anyone else has made such a commitment, and if so if you ever ran into this problem. And out of curiosity what guys actually think of women who want to save their intimacy for marriage.
Click to expand...
Actually, the opposite is true where I come from. Waiting till marriage is a given for any unmarried person. Pre-marital sex is frowned upon and considered 'unchristian behaviour'. I would strongly encourage you to keep holding on to your commitment of waiting till marriage as that is honoring to God.
 
Last edited:
Delerion

Delerion

Senior Member
#11
Feb 9, 2013
198
0
16
34
#11
Don't be afraid to make keep a commitment like that. It'll be so worth it!
 
J

Jordache

Guest
#12
#12
Well, I have mixed feelings about that. It's not someone's place to judge, and its certainly not everyone's business to be involved in, but certainly someone should be involved enough to keep you accountable.
 
alienx7587

alienx7587

Senior Member
#13
Jul 10, 2011
182
4
18
#13
Eileanna said:
Okay, I am about to ask a rather personal question - there is a reason for it though. I have made a commitment a while ago to save myself for my future husband. I haven't broken this commitment, but there are so many people (particularly in my family) who don't understand it, and seemingly try to swerve me from this. I am wondering if anyone else has made such a commitment, and if so if you ever ran into this problem. And out of curiosity what guys actually think of women who want to save their intimacy for marriage.
Click to expand...
Remain steadfast in your commitment! ...Be vigilant! As others have said, any man that does not respect your decision is not worthy of your love and is more interested in pursuing fleshly desires as opposed to maintaining what is best for fostering a relationship.

Also, it is worth noting: If you do get tangled up with this type of man, run the other way. You will not change him. Only God can change the hearts of men.

Don't lose hope! There are many Christian gentlemen out there who are concerned about potential marriage-destructive baggage from women. The Bible is clear, the marriage bed is to be kept pure and that includes any pre-marriage behavior.
 
N

naturelover

Guest
#14
#14
I also made that commitment, until i met someone who was much hotter and nicer than the person i committed to, but then i found out my husband to be was actually in the closet, so i went with my instinct and got with the nice hot guy. Man he was so hot and so nice, we are now married and have been for 5 years! You have to be true to yourself. No matter what.
 
R

Relena7

Guest
#15
#15
Jordache said:
Well, I have mixed feelings about that. It's not someone's place to judge, and its certainly not everyone's business to be involved in, but certainly someone should be involved enough to keep you accountable.
Click to expand...
Then make sure the people involved understand and value it, or just be accountable for yourself. :)
 
Christianrkchk89

Christianrkchk89

Senior Member
#16
Aug 27, 2005
1,282
12
38
34
#16
My husband and I both stayed true to that commitment until our wedding day. And it is completely worth it! You don't have to wonder on your wedding night "was I good enough?" "Was he thinking about his ex?" Or you don't have anyone to compare him to so you're not "let down" in the bedroom. Anddd you don't have to be tested for std's or wonder if he has any. You are eachother's firsts and there is no baggage. It's amazing and we talk about how thankful we are to eachother on a frequent basis. There are enough things that go on in life that stresses us... The bedroom shouldn't be one of those.
 
T

Tintin

Guest
#17
#17
I'm not saving myself for my future husband because I'm a guy and I'm attracted to girls. I'm saving myself for my future wife and I pray that she does the same for me. Sexual temptations are very real in relationships, so it's important to set up boundaries to avoid falling into sin. Physical touch is my thing. I don't think I could go beyond hand-holding and hugging.
 
rachelsedge

rachelsedge

Senior Member
#18
Oct 15, 2012
3,659
79
48
33
#18
I think it's a great commitment, one that I have made myself and I really hope my future spouse makes it for me. I don't want to give away such a precious thing to just anyone. I want it to be for the person I'm going to spend the rest of my life with, and know that it is his and only his. It's not just a physical act, either. I mean, it mainly is, but being that vulnerable and exposed to someone bonds you on more levels than just physical. I don't want that bond with anyone other than my husband.
 
DuchessAimee

DuchessAimee

Senior Member
#19
Apr 27, 2011
3,922
129
63
#19
I think it's great to wait, but people make mistakes, or had their virginity taken from them. I don't believe having sex before marriage is a good idea, and should I get married, I plan on waiting. However, if my future husband isn't a virgin or has had multiple partners, it doesn't bother me.
 
TheKringledOne

TheKringledOne

Senior Member
#20
Dec 25, 2009
423
4
18
#20
I wouldn't care if they did that but I would feel that they made the wrong decision.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.