Seeking relationship advice

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
A

aperez172

Guest
#1
#1
Although it hurts to say, I have lost the one who I've cared about for a long time to another guy. In other words, I was cheated on. I'm lost confused and feel so betrayed. Now she says she regrets her actions and wants me back. And I'm so confused, I'm not sure if I should give her another chance. I was wondering if anyone could give me good advice and maybe some some religious support as to if I should let her go or if I should accept her back. I really do care and miss her. But I'm not sure what God would tell me to do.... someone please help me
 
N

Nicee

Guest
#2
#2
aperez172 said:
Although it hurts to say, I have lost the one who I've cared about for a long time to another guy. In other words, I was cheated on. I'm lost confused and feel so betrayed. Now she says she regrets her actions and wants me back. And I'm so confused, I'm not sure if I should give her another chance. I was wondering if anyone could give me good advice and maybe some some religious support as to if I should let her go or if I should accept her back. I really do care and miss her. But I'm not sure what God would tell me to do.... someone please help me
Click to expand...
I could give u few verses tht said take her back and i could give u another few verses tht said dont take her back. So the ultimate decision is on you and your knowledge of love. You can forgive her and not accept her back or u can forgive her and take her back. Your choice. Not ours to make.
 
TexasTech

TexasTech

Junior Member
#3
Oct 30, 2014
1
0
1
#3
This is just my opinion but..i believe that if you REALLY care about this girl your going to look for reasons to take her back. But seriously, why would you want to be with someone thats already cheated on you. Doesnt sound to me that she cares too much about you. If she did she wouldnt have cheated....right? On the other hand, no one knows her like you do so of course theres more to her than we know. I think the best advice anyone could give you is to just pray about it. I think most guys have been cheated on (and girls) so its not the end of the world thats for sure. If it was me in your position I wouldnt take her back. But I wouldnt abandon the friendship either. At best I would start back at square one with her to build that trust back......oh and bro you have so much time and shes not the only girl out there.
 
S

Siberian_Khatru

Guest
#4
#4
I imagine it will be difficult for her to prove herself trustworthy to you, assuming you ever get to a place where you can place trust in her. Trust can be a fickle thing, as can be loyalty. :(

First: I'll be praying, for both of you, for that matter.

Second: Your decision to take her back or not is, ultimately, going to be up to how you feel and reason the whole thing. Instead of advocating that you do this or that, I will say that if I was in this position, I would keep the person at a distance for a little while, but not eject them from my life altogether; if the person is truly regretful, and if this person truly wants to repent and earn my trust back, they will be patient while I deal with the betrayal (emotionally and intellectually) and while I use the time to reassess the person I trusted.

All the best to you, my friend. ♥
 
Last edited:
B

biscuit

Guest
#5
#5
aperez172 said:
Although it hurts to say, I have lost the one who I've cared about for a long time to another guy. In other words, I was cheated on. I'm lost confused and feel so betrayed. Now she says she regrets her actions and wants me back. And I'm so confused, I'm not sure if I should give her another chance. I was wondering if anyone could give me good advice and maybe some some religious support as to if I should let her go or if I should accept her back. I really do care and miss her. But I'm not sure what God would tell me to do.... someone please help me
Click to expand...
You know what to do since there is no indication of marriage. In the secular world the honorable thing to do is to end the relationship in order to proceed with another. Instead, she chose the sleaze act.

In my book she doesn't get another chance.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
J

jaybee

Guest
#6
#6
Okay so I am by far not an expert as I got my heart broken a few years ago when my girlfriend just started avoiding me and working more and I have heard she was hanging around the not so nice guys but she dumped me. So is what I am trying to say here is that I agree with the other posts especially being friends first before you recommit to her if you so decide but overall pray to God for wisdom. Do not seek revenge but forgive her but do not forget. I must warn you the friends first idea can go wrong when it comes so sin. Take some time for yourself I needed a lot of time to grieve but there was nothing i could do and I could not wait for her to come back any longer so I cut all ties with them for a multitude of reasons. Take the time now while you can and you will see God's will. Want to know the only thing guys know for certain about girls... God made lots of them.
 
maxwel

maxwel

Senior Member
#7
Apr 18, 2013
9,367
2,444
113
#7
Best thing to do is go back and reexamine the groundwork.

Is she a Christian?
Are YOU a Christian?

Those are your foundations for a biblical relationship.
Are those foundations even in place?
Start there.
 
JesusMyOnly

JesusMyOnly

Senior Member
#8
Jun 30, 2014
880
15
0
#8
Heya aperez172 and welcome to the site because I see you are a newer member. Tho I am sorry for the circumstances of why you have joined, its always nice to have another family member and friend join us here.


About what you are going through, I'm sorry even tho saying sorry doesn't always help. The best advice I can give you right now is to really step back and tell God you put this situation in His hands. You really want to be careful about things such as relationships because they can really impact your life for the better or wose. Just continue to pray about this and I know its easier said than done but calm and relax. Do not rush things and hurry back to her right away. Let her show through her actions that she is genuine about being sorry. You must also forgive her (maybe you already have). You need to let go of what she has done because if not you will only trap yourself into bitterness while being angry with frustration and hurt.


Was God the core of the relationship? Was God more important to both of you than you were to each other? Is this something you REALLY believe can be fixed and not just because you feel it could be? Has this relationship become more important to you than other things in life? Are both of you willing to put not just feelings or words into your relationship, but actions to show you are both maturing? There are so many other questions you have to ask yourself.


Work through and grow in your personal relationship with God while you are dealing with this because it will help so much.
What does it mean to have a personal relationship with God?


At the end of the day its completely up to you on what will happen. You said you don't know what God would tell you well friend you must really listen to Him and not let this recent heartbreak cover your ears so much as to where you can't hear Him.


James 1:5 If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.
 
K

klg61

Guest
#9
#9
are you both living in fornication? it would be best to have a relationship with the lord jesus christ before getting into another relationship with any one. if you and her are not married and she has cheated then there is fornication, repent, get into a relationship with the lord.
 
R

rosesandwine

Guest
#10
#10
It's really up to you. If you feel you'll regret not taking her back, then go ahead, forgive her and start all over again. Remember if you've given her a chance and she committed the same mistake again then it's a different story! If you feel you can't trust her anymore, then forgive her and move on with your life without her. Pray during the process, and ask God's blessing before and after picking your final decision. Best of luck.
 
S

soccermom19

Guest
#11
#11
Ultimately it is up to you. However, my advice is to RUN!!! Since you are not married you have no obligation to stay with her.

You should forgive her and move on. She needs to learn not to cheat again. The only way for her to do that is to lose you because of it. If you take her back, she learns that she can cheat on you and get away with it. And she will eventually cheat on you again believing that you will stay with her.

I know it hurts. If I would have known about my spouse and his cheating ways before we were married I would have avoided a lot of future unhappiness. Thank God that you found out now.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.