Sounding stupid in Young Adults group

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pamela93

Guest
#1
#1
I was at my young adults group and we each had to give words of encouragement to someone in the group. Being put on the spot, I encouraged this one girl there who had mentioned that she was afraid of failure. I get nervous whenever I have to talk in front of people so I had difficulty thinking about what to say, and I ended up saying something like, "Trust in God's plans for you. And even if you do fail, He'll be there with you.... so yeah.... just keep praying." This happened a few hours ago and I'm still thinking about how stupid I sounded. Everyone else had an elaborate speech for each other, encouraging them with their fears, and mine was just a simple, awkward statement. Usually when I speak up in the group, I talk only when I know what I want to say and I am comfortable, but because I was put on the spot and had to think of something to say last minute, it came out sounding stupid I feel like. Someone help me feel better about this please? I feel like such an idiot.
 
F

faroukfarouk

Banned
#2
Feb 21, 2014
5,672
18
0
#2
pamela93 said:
I was at my young adults group and we each had to give words of encouragement to someone in the group. Being put on the spot, I encouraged this one girl there who had mentioned that she was afraid of failure. I get nervous whenever I have to talk in front of people so I had difficulty thinking about what to say, and I ended up saying something like, "Trust in God's plans for you. And even if you do fail, He'll be there with you.... so yeah.... just keep praying." This happened a few hours ago and I'm still thinking about how stupid I sounded. Everyone else had an elaborate speech for each other, encouraging them with their fears, and mine was just a simple, awkward statement. Usually when I speak up in the group, I talk only when I know what I want to say and I am comfortable, but because I was put on the spot and had to think of something to say last minute, it came out sounding stupid I feel like. Someone help me feel better about this please? I feel like such an idiot.
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Well, Paul in 1 Thess. 5 says 'Pray without ceasing', so actually you gave good advice.

Blessings.

PS: Good to see you here; God bless His Word to you. (My wife and I are in Ontario; we go to a Bible based local church near us.)
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#3
#3
hi pamela
I can be the same way. And i used to go out, when i was a teen, with this group of adults who were more seasoned in their faith, their knowledge of the bible, etc .. And being being naturally shy on top of things, i often just listened more than spoke. But there were times i spoke up anyways, and so many times i thought the things i said were insignificant and silly sounding even. But i would sometimes later find out that the thing i said i thought was so useless and embarrassing turned out to be the thing that impacted a person the most.
And not just with this group, but it happened even when i left that group and would be in any church type setting. You don't need eloquence to touch a persons heart. You just need sincerity and to trust God that whatever you say, however you say it, is the right thing and the right time for that person. Don't get caught up in the idea that because someone can speak well means they can say the right thing. They just know how to make their useless utterances sound good.
Look at Moses. Moses had a speech impediment, stuttering i believe, and when God spoke to Moses in an audible voice, through a burning bush, Most Still was so caught up in his inability to speak well, he more or less refused to obey God. God had taken this man that stuttered, and used him to deliver 1000s out of Egyptian slavery. Moses didn't do it with great speech, but with a sincere heart and just simply doing and saying what God directed Him to. And the great thing is, often times God speaks through us and we don't know it.
So what may have sounded plain to you might have been the very thing that person needed to hear. Don't assume because things don't line up with your expectations that that means they are not right. If God can work through a talking donkey, or a burning bush, imagine how much more He's capable of using you to do.
 
penknight

penknight

Senior Member
#4
Jan 6, 2014
811
26
28
#4
I have a fear of public speaking too. I do a lot worse than you though.
 
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wwjd_kilden

Guest
#5
#5
Moses said to the LORD, "Pardon your servant, Lord. I have never been eloquent, neither in the past nor since you have spoken to your servant. I am slow of speech and tongue."

Moses did well, didn't he?

Don't beat yourself up, you gave good advice, even if your words didnt come out the way you wanted to
 
F

FridaysChild

Guest
#6
#6
pamela93 said:
I was at my young adults group and we each had to give words of encouragement to someone in the group. Being put on the spot, I encouraged this one girl there who had mentioned that she was afraid of failure. I get nervous whenever I have to talk in front of people so I had difficulty thinking about what to say, and I ended up saying something like, "Trust in God's plans for you. And even if you do fail, He'll be there with you.... so yeah.... just keep praying." This happened a few hours ago and I'm still thinking about how stupid I sounded. Everyone else had an elaborate speech for each other, encouraging them with their fears, and mine was just a simple, awkward statement. Usually when I speak up in the group, I talk only when I know what I want to say and I am comfortable, but because I was put on the spot and had to think of something to say last minute, it came out sounding stupid I feel like. Someone help me feel better about this please? I feel like such an idiot.
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Without reading other comments to your OP (original post), I'm going to reply. So if I repeat things, it's only because I didn't read other people's posting first. And I did that because I wanted my thoughts to be original to you when I wrote and not influenced by others.

I can feel for you with being put on the spot in front of others. If we aren't used to it, it can be intimidating.

Let me just say from experience, that you may be over dwelling on this where others have long since moved on and forgotten the moment. The Spirit can draw from what you said so that the person receiving it can sift for what is truth for them to use in their walk for His purposes. Nothing you said will come back fruitless if He is lifted up.

So what if your words weren't elegant or flowery to please the ear? If we're concerned about sounding stupid, then if we look inward we may find that stems from pride or perfection. And this I speak from experience since I tend to rerun things in my mind for situations past on how I said or did something. I stress myself doing this and it amounts to nothing. So why do I did it? Probably a bit of perfectionist in me. :( So how do I solve it? I learn from it and practice saying what might be encouraging for the next time, filing it away to bring it up in a moment. But I don't forget to allow the Spirit to inspire me in the moment as well regardless that I might have something prepared for the future.

Be prepared for a next time. But leave room for inspiration from the Spirit.

You have to let this one go and it will as the emotions from it fade. Apologizing will only make it worse and draw attention to it.

Hope this helps.
 
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mystdancer50

mystdancer50

Senior Member
#7
Feb 26, 2012
2,522
50
48
#7
Honestly, it's true. Trust in the Lord and even if you fail, He is with you. Notice that the failure isn't on the Lord's side, but on ours, which is entirely possible. The best thing, though, is that He truly is with us whenever we fail and fall short. He doesn't abandon us.

You did very well for being nervous and I'm sure she appreciated what you said. :) One of the things us human beings do is overthink things after the moment has passed. There have been many times when I thought, "Man, I sounded so stupid" because I relived the moment and the words over and over again. Later, someone would approach me and say, "I believe that is what God wanted to speak to me. Thank you so much for what you said."

Don't overthink it. :)
 
1

1still_waters

Guest
#8
#8
People shouldn't be put in a place where they feel compelled/forced to "share".

If someone doesn't have anything to say, then they don't have anything to say.

Also, in this situation, words shared were almost a form of instruction to the group.
We're told in James that not everyone should teach.

So if you didn't have anything to say, it's really not their place to force you to come up with instructions off the top of your head.
Silence can be spiritual too. It shows one has the wisdom to know they have nothing worthwhile to contribute at the moment.
 
J

Jullianna

Guest
#9
#9
pamela93 said:
I was at my young adults group and we each had to give words of encouragement to someone in the group. Being put on the spot, I encouraged this one girl there who had mentioned that she was afraid of failure. I get nervous whenever I have to talk in front of people so I had difficulty thinking about what to say, and I ended up saying something like, "Trust in God's plans for you. And even if you do fail, He'll be there with you.... so yeah.... just keep praying." This happened a few hours ago and I'm still thinking about how stupid I sounded. Everyone else had an elaborate speech for each other, encouraging them with their fears, and mine was just a simple, awkward statement. Usually when I speak up in the group, I talk only when I know what I want to say and I am comfortable, but because I was put on the spot and had to think of something to say last minute, it came out sounding stupid I feel like. Someone help me feel better about this please? I feel like such an idiot.
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Encouraging someone is not about a whole lot of fancy words. It's about sharing His love, heart-to-heart. Your words were brief, but powerful. :) Some of the most powerful words in scripture were brief, like this one:

 
Stephen63

Stephen63

Banned
#10
Aug 15, 2009
9,745
179
0
#10
pamela93 said:
I was at my young adults group and we each had to give words of encouragement to someone in the group. Being put on the spot, I encouraged this one girl there who had mentioned that she was afraid of failure. I get nervous whenever I have to talk in front of people so I had difficulty thinking about what to say, and I ended up saying something like, "Trust in God's plans for you. And even if you do fail, He'll be there with you.... so yeah.... just keep praying." This happened a few hours ago and I'm still thinking about how stupid I sounded. Everyone else had an elaborate speech for each other, encouraging them with their fears, and mine was just a simple, awkward statement. Usually when I speak up in the group, I talk only when I know what I want to say and I am comfortable, but because I was put on the spot and had to think of something to say last minute, it came out sounding stupid I feel like. Someone help me feel better about this please? I feel like such an idiot.
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Sounded good to me. You did it without much thought, & sometimes that's a good thing.
Luke 12:11-12 (KJV) [SUP]11 [/SUP]And when they bring you unto the synagogues, and unto magistrates, and powers, take ye no thought how or what thing ye shall answer, or what ye shall say: [SUP]12 [/SUP]For the Holy Ghost shall teach you in the same hour what ye ought to say.
When you're put on the spot, God's got yer back. Not only so, but He can multiply your witness like He multiplied the bread & fish when He fed the 5,000. Little is much, when God is in it. :)
 
JoshJoseph2

JoshJoseph2

Banned
#11
Jun 19, 2011
271
4
0
#11
Public speaking is a tough one for me too, I admire your courage for trying to help this person out. Personally I don't think you sounded stupid at all, sometimes we can be harder on ourselves then others are.
 
Loveneverfails

Loveneverfails

Senior Member
#12
Feb 18, 2013
1,294
26
0
#12
1still_waters said:
People shouldn't be put in a place where they feel compelled/forced to "share".

If someone doesn't have anything to say, then they don't have anything to say.

Also, in this situation, words shared were almost a form of instruction to the group.
We're told in James that not everyone should teach.

So if you didn't have anything to say, it's really not their place to force you to come up with instructions off the top of your head.
Silence can be spiritual too. It shows one has the wisdom to know they have nothing worthwhile to contribute at the moment.
Click to expand...
I agree. This is the reason why I left my first young adults group. I was being forced to speak when I genuinely had nothing to say, so it was either give a "fake" response or look like a rebel for refusing to share.
 
G

GodIsSalvation

Banned
#13
Dec 18, 2013
6,733
45
0
#13
pamela93 said:
I was at my young adults group and we each had to give words of encouragement to someone in the group. Being put on the spot, I encouraged this one girl there who had mentioned that she was afraid of failure. I get nervous whenever I have to talk in front of people so I had difficulty thinking about what to say, and I ended up saying something like, "Trust in God's plans for you. And even if you do fail, He'll be there with you.... so yeah.... just keep praying." This happened a few hours ago and I'm still thinking about how stupid I sounded. Everyone else had an elaborate speech for each other, encouraging them with their fears, and mine was just a simple, awkward statement. Usually when I speak up in the group, I talk only when I know what I want to say and I am comfortable, but because I was put on the spot and had to think of something to say last minute, it came out sounding stupid I feel like. Someone help me feel better about this please? I feel like such an idiot.
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Why feel stupid? Your simple statement is quite profoundly wise and true indeed.

I find it a little ironic, it seems to me you might feel stupid because you might feel you failed in your task because others had longer speeches. Yet your advice regarding dealing with that girls fear of failure is simple and is truthful. Therefore since it is truthful it must be wise, even if it is short. So really your advice isn't stupid at all, it's actually quite genius.
 
P

Pearly

Guest
#14
#14
Don't sweat it, you didn't sound that bad. Once in small group, we were asked to pray for each other, and I was suppose to pray for the girl next to me (whom I didn't know well). During the prayer I said the name of her twin sister rather than her name. And she corrected me in a Not friendly way. How's that for awkward/embarrassing!

I don't think you should worry about not sounding "spiritual" enough. God knows our hearts and we have different ways of expressing ourselves. Some people can sound all holy on the outside but it can all be for show, you never know.
 
J

ji

Guest
#15
#15
pamela93 said:
I was at my young adults group and we each had to give words of encouragement to someone in the group. Being put on the spot, I encouraged this one girl there who had mentioned that she was afraid of failure. I get nervous whenever I have to talk in front of people so I had difficulty thinking about what to say, and I ended up saying something like, "Trust in God's plans for you. And even if you do fail, He'll be there with you.... so yeah.... just keep praying." This happened a few hours ago and I'm still thinking about how stupid I sounded. Everyone else had an elaborate speech for each other, encouraging them with their fears, and mine was just a simple, awkward statement. Usually when I speak up in the group, I talk only when I know what I want to say and I am comfortable, but because I was put on the spot and had to think of something to say last minute, it came out sounding stupid I feel like. Someone help me feel better about this please? I feel like such an idiot.
Click to expand...
First time needn't be the best time.God knows that..
 
R

Rush

Guest
#16
#16
Your response kicked booty. Simple but with no room for confusion because of flowery words. It's apt and correct. Life doesn't always pan out how we expect, nor do we know everything God is going to do. So yeah, our expectations don't always match up with what happens. So as you said .... just keep praying.

Don't stress the words you use. Paul himself said he wasn't a good speaker by comparison to those around him. But he said his weakness helped show those who heard him God's awesomeness even more. What you said was total wisdom, served in a way that could never be mistaken for anything other than what it is. Keep rockin it! :)
 
G

GraceRevelation

Guest
#17
#17
Oh don't feel bad, what you said it wasn't awful..it was true. A lot of people when they feel they are being put on the spot. Their brains don't function correctly, you become too focused on your nerves and not focused about the topic or what to say. Its very normal, I probably wouldn't have put anyone on the spot like that. Cause that's what can happen.
 
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