We all have that one friend...

[xXErraticEmilyXx]

I've been hanging out a lot with my best friend who I met a couple of months ago. She's really cool and we get along well... the only thing is that after knowing her for a while, I've learned that she's a big attention seeker. Every time we get together, especially when we're in a group, she makes herself the center of attention. When someone is talking, she interrupts them and directs the conversation toward herself. She often brags about herself and while it's good to be confident, it can be negative toward the people around them. For instance, if I were to talk about an idea someone gave me for a drawing, she would talk about what a great artist she is. I also feel like she isn't listening when I am talking. She also seems to be faking illness for attention. It rubs me wrong since there are people out there who have real diseases and are really struggling. Maybe it isn't fake, but it looks that way because it often interrupts conversation and is heavily vocalized and acted out. It becomes a dramatic scene.

Anyway, I know we've all had friends who want to be the center of attention all the time, but we don't want to stop being their friend. What did you do? I don't want to hurt her feelings. I think a good hand full of attention-seekers are insecure, so I want to put it very lightly if I decide to say something. I don't want to be annoyed and I also want to be a good friend.

 

[cyphercat]

Imitate her and one up her game.

 

[GodIsSalvation]

Heh I have quite a few friends that are like that. And even more acquaintances that are like that lol. Assuming your friend is roughly your age too, that is pretty normal of people around the late teens/early 20s from my observations. Heck, it's even normal for people my age and even much older.

I would say don't imitate to one up her, since that's just kinda fake both to her and yourself since all ready you yourself say you don't like all that stuff. Just keep being who you are. If she is your friend she is friends with you probably because she likes and respects your personality even if she doesn't come out and say it. Think about how that makes you all the more respected in the community.

Lol with people often like your friend the rest of the community usually is well aware of it even if they don't call it out. Me and my community all know who is like what, and of course enjoy hearty jokes about eachother and our flaws and strengths and nuances of personality and our past failures and triumphs. Also remember, you both still young (I am too so don't think me trying to be condescending.) I bet you and your friend if you still hang out together 4-5 years down the road will simply laugh and talk nostalgia about some of these things like me and my friends do. I'd say just enjoy your friend and yourself, people come and go a lot as you get older (by older I mean even 1 or 2 years older or even more), so enjoy those you know now in the now.

 

[Ugly]

Imitate her and one up her game.

Thereby making yourself look worse than her... Rather than making yourself look bad and being indirect, why not be more direct, more grown up and sit her down when no one else is around and bring this up to her. And let your tone be one of concern for her, rather than critical. That you're worried about whats going on inside her to cause her to act this way, and worry also for what people may think of her i she acts this way.
You can count on that mostly likely she will not receive it well no matter how you approach her. These behaviors are reflective of someone defensive, insecure and confronting them directly instead of letting them hide behind this facade is not going to go over well. The hope, though, is that you will chip away at the defenses and by being bold enough to confront her, that she'll calm down and realize how she's actually being viewed and return back to you more open and willing to listen. So you can pretty much expect a backlash, but i'd rather that than not really be a friend and let her continue without being called out for it.

 

[cyphercat]

Thereby making yourself look worse than her... Rather than making yourself look bad and being indirect, why not be more direct, more grown up and sit her down when no one else is around and bring this up to her. And let your tone be one of concern for her, rather than critical. That you're worried about whats going on inside her to cause her to act this way, and worry also for what people may think of her i she acts this way.
You can count on that mostly likely she will not receive it well no matter how you approach her. These behaviors are reflective of someone defensive, insecure and confronting them directly instead of letting them hide behind this facade is not going to go over well. The hope, though, is that you will chip away at the defenses and by being bold enough to confront her, that she'll calm down and realize how she's actually being viewed and return back to you more open and willing to listen. So you can pretty much expect a backlash, but i'd rather that than not really be a friend and let her continue without being called out for it.

I hadn't considered this perspective. Thank you for bringing it up.

 

[mystdancer50]

I had that one friend a few years ago. Ultimately, I was horribly hurt and betrayed by her. I don't have any friends now because I don't let anyone close to me.

You can't really do anything about those that love to be the center of attention and are actually given what they want. As long as they get it, they'll crave and seek it. The only one that can change them is God and that is only if they are willing to listen and desire to change.

Recently, there was a moral failing in the leadership of the church and people said how crushed this girl was and how she had to go to visit some other Christians in another city because she was so crushed. So, see? Still craving the limelight. Can't be changed. Can't be helped. As long as she is enabled, so shall she remain.

Sorry if I sound harsh. I guess there are still some unresolved issues in my heart here.

 

[Raine]

I guess it depends how deep your relationship with your friend is. If you guys can be completely honest with each other knowing that you both genuinely care for one another, then yeah, sit your friend down and spend some time talking in a loving way.

On the other hand, if this is starting to bother you then maybe you just need to balance it out a little bit by not spending so much time with this friend. Maybe just try hanging out with them once every few months. Sometimes space is the best thing.