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N
I guess it's a cultural thing. I'm sure not too many westerners would like the idea but if it was what you were brought up with to be normal maybe it wouldn't seem so bad. I imagine that the parents generally have their childs best interests at heart. Divorce rates are actually alot lower in these cultures.
R
To marry someone you don't know is like rolling the dice. Is he going to want to chop off my butterfly wings or is he going to let me be me and like me for who I am?
To marry someone who wants me to change my personality (and doesn't accept that something about me actually is my God-given true personality just because my quirks aren't compatible with his) would be a fate worse than death itself.
The worst thing is, the majority of people like this aren't "monsters". They ...*gulp* actually "mean well", according to how they believe.
I could never live in someone else's cage.
To marry someone who wants me to change my personality (and doesn't accept that something about me actually is my God-given true personality just because my quirks aren't compatible with his) would be a fate worse than death itself.
The worst thing is, the majority of people like this aren't "monsters". They ...*gulp* actually "mean well", according to how they believe.
I could never live in someone else's cage.
did you ever realise that most of the marriages in the bible were arranged and worked out just fine? i dont really totally object to an arranged marriage.. i object to that arranged marriage where you would only be seeing the person on the wedding day;thats too extreme. i have some friends who wont object to an arranged marriage where you get to know the person before but its arranged in that your parents set you up.
i used to think i dont have to be in love passionately with the guy to get married. i thought well if i marry a really good friend but we're not in love, we could grow to love each other. but now, i guess im getting a little romantic and i do want that my future husband to love me with a passion.
so, in conclusion i probably wont; but i dont object to the concept as a whole.
i used to think i dont have to be in love passionately with the guy to get married. i thought well if i marry a really good friend but we're not in love, we could grow to love each other. but now, i guess im getting a little romantic and i do want that my future husband to love me with a passion.
so, in conclusion i probably wont; but i dont object to the concept as a whole.
U
Course, in the places and times where arranged marriages took place, women had no voice and no rights. They couldn't divorce, and the man had all the control over her and the marriage. Not many controlling men would allow the cultural embarrassment of letting their wife divorce them. So they forced them to stay, or just killed them. So i don't think that looking at the divorce rate alone is a good qualifier.
Just a penny of my observations (slightly deviating from the OP but related with a couple of following comments): One of the reason for the high percentage of divorce rate (taking the west as an example) could be due to
1. Strong sense of individualism and
2. High expectations
In the first, a person is mostly concerned with the issue of I, me, myself which is strongly present in western society. As studies have reported, in societies and cultures where the notion of individualism is comparatively low, marriages last longer if not for a lifetime and divorce is very rare but as society become more and more complex, the notion of individualism tend to grow stronger into a person and as a result marriages between such two persons is most likely to end up in divorce.
In the second, when certain expectations between spouse are not met, it lead to disappointment. Disappointment over a period of time will lead to discontentment until such time that divorce becomes the only option for the couple.
While it is not a bad thing to maintain some individualism and certain expectations, too much indulgence into the two would lead to clash of personality and disappointment that could end up in divorce. As a Christian, I personally believed that just as we are told in the scripture to conform our ways to the word of God, both the couple should also apply the same principle in marriage for it to last.
PS: There are exceptions in every society and culture and the same would be true in these cases as well. This is just a broad observation and generalisation and is not directed to offend anyone.
1. Strong sense of individualism and
2. High expectations
In the first, a person is mostly concerned with the issue of I, me, myself which is strongly present in western society. As studies have reported, in societies and cultures where the notion of individualism is comparatively low, marriages last longer if not for a lifetime and divorce is very rare but as society become more and more complex, the notion of individualism tend to grow stronger into a person and as a result marriages between such two persons is most likely to end up in divorce.
In the second, when certain expectations between spouse are not met, it lead to disappointment. Disappointment over a period of time will lead to discontentment until such time that divorce becomes the only option for the couple.
While it is not a bad thing to maintain some individualism and certain expectations, too much indulgence into the two would lead to clash of personality and disappointment that could end up in divorce. As a Christian, I personally believed that just as we are told in the scripture to conform our ways to the word of God, both the couple should also apply the same principle in marriage for it to last.
PS: There are exceptions in every society and culture and the same would be true in these cases as well. This is just a broad observation and generalisation and is not directed to offend anyone.
C
Ugly, you must be kidding, LOL Rolling on the floor.
Well i might depend on to whom iam married to. My ancestos in China used to depend on their parent to find the candidate for them to marry. There is a middle person (matchmaker) would act as a mediator. They will get ang-pow ( money put in a red packet, why red because red represent auspicious to the chinese) from the brigegroom parent if the marriage succeed to take place. At those times, you are forbidden to look for your own. If you do, the society at large would despise you. However, the strange thing is they NERVER divorce those days. They married once in their whole life, just like what we charistians says ' TILL DEATH DO US APART".
Well i might depend on to whom iam married to. My ancestos in China used to depend on their parent to find the candidate for them to marry. There is a middle person (matchmaker) would act as a mediator. They will get ang-pow ( money put in a red packet, why red because red represent auspicious to the chinese) from the brigegroom parent if the marriage succeed to take place. At those times, you are forbidden to look for your own. If you do, the society at large would despise you. However, the strange thing is they NERVER divorce those days. They married once in their whole life, just like what we charistians says ' TILL DEATH DO US APART".
Chuinchoy,
Even my ancestors (Nagas) prior to the advent of Christianity, follow the same pattern as your ancestors and they called that marriage by negotiation. In place of ang-pow as is in your case, my ancestors used chicken (live) and a jar of rice beer to offer it to the girl's parents. I guess such marriages were generic to asian culture.
Even today, marriage in my culture means till 'death do us apart' and the few divorces taking place are generally attributed to the impact of globalization.
Even my ancestors (Nagas) prior to the advent of Christianity, follow the same pattern as your ancestors and they called that marriage by negotiation. In place of ang-pow as is in your case, my ancestors used chicken (live) and a jar of rice beer to offer it to the girl's parents. I guess such marriages were generic to asian culture.
Even today, marriage in my culture means till 'death do us apart' and the few divorces taking place are generally attributed to the impact of globalization.
